Bunnygirls

by Simon Archer

  The bunny girl nodded with a grin brighter than a white Christmas.

  “I could feel my connection to this power increasing as it grew more intense,” she looked at me with those puppy-dog eyes, “It almost called out to me, and I just needed emotion powerful enough to fully unlock and understand it. Before, it was fear, but now I’ve found something much stronger. Are you pleased?”

  “Honey, I mean this with my whole heart,” I promised to her, “you’re gonna have to learn one day that I am filled with absolute pleasure with you at all times, and most recently from you. Now go get dressed, we got a trip to plan.”

  With a slap to her astounding ass, then two hands to her ribs, I lifted her off of me, setting her down so we could get ourselves cleaned up. After showing her how the shower worked in my bathroom, I let the lady wash up first while I took a quick preliminary wipe with my washcloth. As she got out and got dry, I couldn’t help but tarry with my eyes on her before prepping to hop in the shower myself.

  While I did that, I spied Hopper looking in the mirror, assessing the marks on her neck. My almost turned away, not feeling mighty proud of going that far with her. But then, she took a ribbon from off her maid’s outfit, using it to tie her hair up in a high ponytail, exposing every part of her neck as she twirled around to see the whole mark. With a quiet and satisfied giggle, she pranced over to where my flannel laid, picking it up, rebuttoning it, and putting it on herself.

  “What are you doing with that?” I said, halting my step into the shower.

  The girl’s cute blush rose as I caught her wearing my shirt.

  “I’m so sorry, my lord!” She went to undo the buttons. “I shouldn’t have deigned to wear a noble’s clothes. Please forgive me--”

  “Slow your roll, honey,” I put a hand up to calm her, “I’m more than happy to share, and I’m sorry I don’t have much in the way of dresses and such. I guess I’m more curious why you aren’t wearing your own stuff? I’ll see what I can do about keeping your legs warm.”

  “My legs are fine, my lord,” she assured, putting her hands in the oversized sleeves up to her face. Her shoulders were raised just a touch as she retreated into herself. “I was merely…”

  “You ain’t in trouble, Hopper,” I affirmed, “Say what’s on your mind.”

  “... this one smells like you.” She muffled through the sleeves. I swear, a puppy and a kitten playing in one sock wouldn’t be near as cute as her right then.

  “You can keep it, then,” I said, “I’ve got at least a couple dozen more waiting.”

  “If I may be so brash as to advise you,” she spoke up from her hands, “You should bring as many as you can. If you’re allowing your servants to wear these, then all the Bunnies will want one you’ve worn, most assuredly.”

  “All the Bunnies?” I stood confused. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, when you begin building your estate,” she informed, “You’ll be gathering many Bunnies as slaves. Once you’ve taken to bed with them, they would be comforted immensely by this gift, just as I am. It would mean the world to them, and they would be most grateful. I want them to have this same security and safety I feel as well. Only if it pleases you to do this, of course, my lord.”

  “Just to make sure that I’m hearing this right,” I clarified, “as a noble in your world, the Great Burrow, all of the female servants I procure are sleeping with me? As a given?”

  “Of course,” she declared as if avowing law, “it is your right to do with all your slaves as you wish. If you received even a fraction of the pleasure that I did from your noble initiation, I wouldn’t doubt it would please you to bed as many slaves as often as you possibly could.”

  The possibility hadn’t even crossed my mind. Hopper blew all the other girls I’d seen or been with clear out of the water on every level, even the ones with a similar body type or personality. If there were more like her, I couldn’t even imagine what I’d do.

  “I’ll bring extras, then,” I stated definitively, to which she smiled that cute smile of hers, leaving me to wash and think about the implications of the task I was about to set up upon. I’d no idea of the dangers I’d be facing once I stepped through that portal, but with rewards like that, it could’ve been a portal straight to Hell’s front gate, and I would’ve been more than willing to face the challenge.

  Those Wolves wouldn’t know what hit ’em.

  6

  All washed up, bags packed, locked and loaded, Hopper and I portal-hopped over to the mysterious woods of a new world. Taking my first step, I took a deep breath of the fresh air of a strange place. I took special care to bring my best gear: my comfiest hiking boots, thickest overalls and flannel, compact field-dressing kit, survival backpack, three best knives, and a freshly sharpened machete.

  The proper thing to do, I figured, was to give Hopper the most protection, so I gave her the kevlar vest and arm wraps I was gifted for a job. For her, they were leg wraps, and that was probably better, anyway. Also, lots and lots of layers. Anything that jammed up claws and teeth, we were wearing, including my lumberjack shirt and pants. They kept chainsaws from cutting my legs off, and they’ll do their best to keep these dogs from biting.

  My three most reliable guns, the .45, the sawed-off, and my .700 hunting rifle, were all freshly serviced and ready for action. I’ve had them reinforced in the past to weigh a bit more so that they didn’t break when you hit something with them. Sometimes, you couldn’t pull out a knife fast enough when a predator was charging, and you had to improvise. I lost a lot of good guns that way.

  If the portal were bigger, I might’ve just filled up the truck with stuff, along with all my extra gas cans, but the portals only got about my height before they really started to hurt her. We weren’t gonna need it, though. If we ran out of something, we could always just pop back whenever we had to. That gave us an edge.

  Hopper insisted upon carrying the extra ammunition for my guns along with the bag of survival rations herself, even though I was more than willing. She also brought two packs full of flannels, also upon her own insistence, which I had tightly wrapped up so that they didn’t hang out weird. As long as it was on just her back, Hopper could take it as far as we needed and not be weighed down.

  You’d think this might have been overkill, but I was more than fine with carrying some extra weight than dying. And Momma didn’t raise no space hog. Like a 3-D puzzle, everything fit on our backs nice and pert, even if it was a bit heavy.

  There weren’t any delusions from me about what Hopper might be going through when she would come back here. By the sound of her story, she didn’t leave on great terms or with a lot to reminisce about. Still, I thought maybe she might have been just a pinch more stable coming home, holding onto a little cup of hope we’d take back her home from the Wolves or somesuch.

  Her face told me I was wrong about that.

  I could see why. The first thing you saw, like a sore rattle on a rattlesnake, was the trees. Or rather, the lack of trees. Across the eye’s view, stumps of once-proud otherworldly oaks and redwoods littered the landscape, giving us a clear view of the grey skies I’d take to be an omen of the dreariness to come. Hills are far as the eye could see rolling over and over again, leaving nothing to look at. It almost made me cry, forests are my life. This kind of devastation was exactly what I hated about people back in my world, too.

  “What happened?” She whipped around in every direction. “Where did all of the trees go? I was only gone for one day!” Must have been especially disorienting for her. She probably was in these very woods when she portal-hopped out of here. And this was part of her home. I’d imagine it’d be like driving home from work to find your house bulldozed. You bet I’d be throwing a tiff right quick about that. The gears were turning for me right there, but it wasn’t for a while before I understood what was really going on.

  “Alright, honey, calm down.” I grabbed her by the shoulders, “We’re gonna find out what’s going on here and fix it, ok
ay? We’ll get some trees back here proper soon as we can. We’ll plant an acorn and a pinecone for every tree missing here. You with me?”

  “Uh, yeah,” she got her bearings again, “I’m with you.” A few pats to her shirt-skirt to flatten it out, and she was right as rain. “I apologize, my lord, for my heinous display.”

  “Let’s just make that a rule right now,” I demanded of her. “You’re not gonna apologize for being human. Or Bunny. Rabbit. A person. You won’t apologize for having humanity. Humanity’s universal, even for Bunnies like you. Don’t you hide that, pretty thing.”

  “Yes, my lord.” She said through a giggle. “I wish only to please you.”

  “Well, good job,” I started walking, “You’ve already been crushing it. We’re gonna find a spot to make a mobile base camp of sorts, then portal in some more supplies--”

  “Hey! Turn ‘round!” a sandpaper voice called out from behind us. I looked to see who had the audacity to be so rude, and lo-and-behold, it was a group of goddamn Wolves coming out from behind a hill about fifty yards out. Shaggy and matted fur coated each of them from stem to stern, with a black, grey, and pale grey variety to differentiate the three of them. Meat columns hung from their crooked humpbacks, with monkey hands and black claws at the ends. Their giant wolf heads stuck out like a thick shelf, baring their yellow canines must have been the size of a half-dollar each. Beady little eyes still had plenty of room for thick white irises on what was otherwise like black marbles. Their hind legs were also wolfish and muscled, digging into the ground with unsheathed claws.

  As ugly as they were, they managed to dwarf it with their foghorn yelling.

  “What are you slaves doin’ this far out?” the black one shouted at us with a sandpaper voice and what could only be a cockney accent.

  “Looky there, boss!” The grey one, with a whiny voice and the same kind of accent, pointed at me. “That Bunny’s got a musket on ‘im!”

  “That’s the ugliest Bunny I ever saw.” The pale grey one, with a gruff voice, butted in. The least annoying voice and it was the one I wanted to shoot the most. Didn’t matter who it was referencing, Hopper or me. Either choice was twitching my trigger finger. They all were.

  There wasn’t even a moment to pop my pistol holster before a streak of creamy legs zoomed past my head and crashed into the pale Wolf’s face, sending it twisting through the air as it fell straight to the ground, smashing against a stump before falling limp. Hopper stood next to the other two Wolves as she landed, a finger out towards her victim.

  “How dare you!” She shouted as much as her voice could shout. “Lord Hank is a beautiful hyoo-man male, and you will show him the proper respect!”

  You know what, I was proud that she never thought for a second the insult was towards her. If every girl back on my world thought like that, magazines like Vogue’d be out of business. That’s self-confidence right there. When the other two went to look at her in shock, that confidence shrunk away as a socially instilled fear washed over her face.

  A quick shot from my pistol struck the grey one in the side of the eye and glanced past the black Wolf’s face, drawing blood for both as they dodged at the last second; these things were fast, no lie, but I got their attention, and that was enough. You can’t really count accuracy at that range with a .45, but you can count on getting a couple of bullets out in a second.

  The black Wolf broke into a charge at me, hounding on all fours, but the grey one turned his attention back to Hopper. I fired two more rounds at the grey one in the hopes of at least wounding the mutt before getting the machete unsheathed, putting it right in between some slobbering black jaws. My attacking dog man couldn’t quite stop himself in time to save his wolf cheeks from being slashed open, its jaw hanging open too far in a gruesome display. I pressed that blade further in to keep him from retreating while firing two more shots into the top of his neck. With a smooth swipe, I flung the beast to the side, slicing the jaw close to clean off as the body fell limp.

  Taking out the rifle, I trained it on the grey one, ready to pull the trigger on instinct. Hopper’s swift asswhooping stayed my hand as I watched her thoroughly trounce her mangy assailant with those beautiful legs of hers. Didn’t matter how the creature was swiping and swinging. Hopper kept out of the way like a leaf in the wind, all the while visibly cracking bones with every kick. I kept my finger off the trigger, waiting for a clear shot to take this thing out without risking Hopper’s safety. Then, the grey Wolf got aggressive, keeping Hopper boxed in as he pushed further on her.

  I just about squeezed the trigger before Hopper opened a portal behind her. Another one opened above the grey Wolf at the same time, and when she jumped through the one, she fell down the other to smash the thing’s head. It fell forward into the portal Hopper just made, falling through it and out the other to end up twisting his neck with the weight of his own body as he landed in a limp pile of his own.

  That was gonna come in handy a lot, I could already tell.

  I put the rifle away, running over to her to pick her up in the tightest hug I could. With a quick kiss, I set her down, pulled out the pistol, and shot the grey one in the head once, just to be safe. Saving ammo was important, but not getting jumped was essential for survival.

  “I defeated a Wolf!” she exclaimed proudly.

  “Damn right, you did!” I fed her confidence.

  “I was so scared I was gonna die!” she said with the exact same energy as before.

  “But you didn’t!” I was trying to keep her in that positive mindset.

  “I didn’t!” She hugged me almost as tight as I did her. “You’re the best.”

  “I’m not the one who just magic-portal-smacked a Wolf into submission.” I reminded her. “Only one of us has the claim of ‘wizard of whoop-ass’ right now, and it ain’t me, ma’am.”

  “You think I could have done that by myself?” She scolded me with a tone that couldn’t scare a fly off. “I couldn’t look a Wolf in the eye or raise my voice near one before. I couldn’t even kick a door open if I was angry. Now I’m shouting and kicking them without thinking! Do you know who did that to me?” She poked my chest slowly, yet aggressively. “You. You did that to me.” She noticed her informal tone and looked away from my gaze. “Um, forgive my indignance, my lord.”

  “Nothing to forgive, ma’am.” I picked her up to kiss her on the forehead. “My humblest apologies for bringing such madness upon you. Whatever was I thinking?” I set her back down. “I’m glad I could help. Could you use your Wolf-bashing legs and make sure the black one over there isn’t coming back up?”

  Speaking of which, I went over to the paler Wolf, who was sitting up to nurse the concussion Hopper just gave him. He was looking at the black one’s dead body while I aimed to shoot him in the head. There was some information I was gonna squeeze out of him before he kicked the bucket.

  “Is he dead?” the pale one asked.

  “Sure thing,” I said, keeping him in my sights. “Sliced him up myself. You’re gonna tell me everything I need to know, or you join him.”

  “I’ll answer what I can, boss.” He grunted as he stood himself up. “I concede to your strength, and will do as you wish until one of us dies.” It was as if he was reciting an oath with that last part.

  “Whatever, kiss-ass.” I laughed. He didn’t get to switch sides that easily with me. I happened to have preferred my back without stab wounds in it. “What happened to all the trees around here?”

  “Cut down for construction, boss.” The pale dumbass replied.

  I rolled my eyes. As if I couldn’t guess that part. Why else would you cut down trees? Looks like I’d have to be a little clearer.

  “How did they do it overnight?” I asked him nice and slow.

  “These trees are pretty thick, boss.” He answered. “Rabbits got weak little arms. They only get a couple done a night.”

  “Then who the hell cut all of these down the other day?” There was already an inkling in my min
d about what happened, but I wanted to know for sure.

  “The slaves cut this part down about five weeks ago.” His answer confirmed my suspicions. “They’ve gotten most of the lumber around here over the past year or so. My old boss said something about trading with other towns for lumber now, but I wasn’t really listening. Is that what you mean by the other day, boss?”

  There was a bit of a time skip between worlds, apparently. Made sense now that I knew, but it was still troubling. Was that Timberpine Wolf still at that estate? He must have been. There’s no real reason for him to leave. There’s no telling how long Hopper was gone, though, with a minimum of a year passing by in a day in my world. Guess I should have been glad she portal-hopped over when she did. That also made portal-hopping between worlds a bit trickier. We might end up wasting years resupplying ourselves, and all the while Wolves would still be torturing bunnies and hares all over. We’d only be able to portal-hop if we absolutely needed it.

  “Is Thumperton Port close by?” I switched to another question.

  “A couple of weeks travel, yeah,” he answered.

  That was not close by. This damn dog just could not give me any good news. We’d have to conserve our resources a lot more if wanted to get to Timberpine with a solid arsenal. Hopper said she was running away up until later in the morning when she hopped over to my world, and she was running straight from Timberpine’s Estate in Thumperton Port. That means we’d popped back much farther away than that. Any time we popped between to resupply, we could end up right on their doorstep or a thousand miles away, and the time skip would give the Wolves all the time they needed to replace the ones we deal with. It’d be like we’d have to start over every time we ran out, only we’d be dealing with new terrain each time we popped back in. Maybe, just maybe, the locations between our worlds had some matching parts, and we could just find out where Thumperton Port would correlate in my world and hop from there, but that was just a theory, and the time skips would still happen. We needed to get a stockpile from here.