by L. E. Bross
“He claimed you first, Baz and I know it, and if he asked, we’d back the fuck off, but he won’t. I can't explain it, don't understand it, but somehow, you’re bringing us all back together.” His eyebrows dip down. “We lost the only mom who ever gave a shit about us, and it’s really fucking hard to come back from that. Ry turned self-destructive, Baz exhausts himself so his demons can’t keep him awake at night, and me? I fuck just to find a connection. We were all so fucking tired, babe. Then you come along, acting like you’re on some kind of mission and before we know it, things start to look better.”
God, he can’t say something like that to me.
I push back as the weight of everything crashes over me and X isn’t expecting it. I slip free from his arms and immediately plunge underwater. It’s only seconds, but it’s enough to send white hot jolts of fear into every nerve of my body. I inhale in panic and get a lungful of water right before X yanks me to the surface.
His eyes are wild as I choke and cough.
“What the fuck, Ever?”
He drags me over to the edge where Riot is waiting, arms out, to haul me up and my entire body shakes as I cough out the water from inside me.
“The fuck did you say to her?” he growls at X, who pulls himself up and over the edge and sits next to me, devastation on his face.
“I don’t fucking know.”
As I suck air into my lungs, I reach out and twine my finger with his, squeezing to let him know I’m okay.
Baz hurries toward us with a towel and hands it to Riot who quickly wraps it around my shoulders. He pulls me into his lap and sits back hard. The other two hover around us, all of them watching me as I finally stop coughing.
“Sorry,” I wheeze out.
X watches me, his lips parted like he wants to say something, but I look away before he can.
“I guess my dreams of being a mermaid are gone, huh?”
None of them even crack a smile. Shit. I can’t tell them that what X said, that I blew in like I was on a mission is too close to the truth. I did come here under false pretenses. I’ve lied to them more than once. I’m going to have to do it again, too.
And I’m going to have to pretend to be interested in Luc so I can take what I need for Peter. To find Belle.
Oh, what a twisted web I weave.
Trust is so important to these three and I’m betraying it over and over.
I can’t. I won’t anymore.
I have to stop lying to them. I need Peter to be straight, even if he’s just trying to protect them, because they need to know that he’s looking for Wendi. That he’s trying to find their mom and bring her home and I’m helping him do it.
He needs to tell them the truth so that when I go off with Luc, it’s not because I don't care about them, it’s because I do.
I wish that the weekend would never end.
After my brush with death as X called it, we decided that movies and pizza was safer. I’d never been in the rec room on the lower level. There’s a pool table, pinball machines and a giant screen that takes up almost one wall.
You haven’t lived until you’ve seen Walking Dead up close and life-sized.
We spent all day Sunday there, too, just the four of us.
Monday morning I told the guys I wasn’t ready to walk into school with all of them on my arm, and they reluctantly agreed. Well, vehemently, loudly disagreed until I swore no one was getting kissed unless they agreed. X caved immediately and I have to admit that I enjoyed torturing the other two for holding out.
Baz gave me his apology with his tongue, but Riot…nothing with him is ever easy. He held out till it was time to leave. Well, he did until I climbed X like a tree and worked out all my frustration with his tonsils. Ry lifted me off X with a savage growl, swung me around and carried me into the half-bath where he used his magic fingers to punish me.
Of course the fucker left the door cracked and when I finally came back to myself after the fastest orgasm known to woman, I found two sets of blazing eyes on me. I was sorely tempted to play hooky and see what other kind of trouble we could get into but I was still catching up in two of my classes.
My continued enrollment at Neverly Prep remained contingent on me going to class. But I was going to put a pin in the idea of all the fun the four of us could have, because imagining all three boys touching me was definitely making it hard to focus.
Ry smirked all the way to the garage.
I flipped him off when I climbed into my convertible and pulled out ahead of them, and I didn’t miss X blowing me a kiss with an exaggerated lip pucker. But I did smile all the way to school. I can’t remember the last time I felt happy. Free. It lasts until I pull into the parking lot and see Meri waiting for me. Trey stands next to her, looming like a pissed off sentry.
It takes everything not to keep driving right back out. I park and climb out, bracing for a confrontation, then wonder if Trey would do anything with Meri by his side. She hurries over, leaving him standing on the sidewalk staring at me.
“Where were you all weekend? I texted to see if you wanted to hang out Sunday but didn't hear anything. Luc said you weren’t feeling well after the race?”
“I needed to catch up. I spent most of yesterday reading. Very boring stuff. And I thought I lost my phone until this morning when I found it at the bottom of my laundry basket. Stupid, right?”
I smile through my lie, hoping she doesn’t catch on.
Meri is entirely too nice because she doesn't bat an eyelash. I feel like shit for ignoring her messages while I was wrapped up in the boys. It’s not like I can tell her that, though.
We start to walk in when the rumble of a familiar exhaust vibrates through the air. My body tenses with anticipation, but I keep walking straight ahead, which sucks because I want to turn around and stare.
“So things still awkward in the Panchard household?” Meri asks. She heard the gossip last week when the guys were icing me out. Not that they paid me much attention before that, they just made it obvious enough for people to talk.
As we push into school, I allow myself one glance and see a few girls hovering around the guys as they walk in. Baz is a few steps behind, glasses on, sleeves down and tie in place, looking at his phone. He seems oblivious to what's going on around him, but X seems to enjoy his company and seeing those girls looking up at him makes my palms itchy.
Riot is talking to the same brunette that was sitting with him at lunch last week.
She’s smiling up at him and I want to wipe it off her face.
I push inside harder than necessary and stomp to my locker. When the guys walk by, I can’t help myself, I turn to look. I see Riot’s lips curl up in a little smirk and I know he knows I’m watching them.
I slam my locker a little harder than necessary and his shoulders start to shake even though he doesn’t even acknowledge that I’m there. That fucker is doing it on purpose because I wouldn’t agree to walk in with them. Because I wouldn’t show the school that I was theirs.
X looks over his shoulder and winks at me and I want to throw something at his head. Or at the two girls by his side. Damn them. I let out a little growl. The only one not on my shit list is Baz because he breaks off and heads toward the computer wing before he does anything to piss me off.
“Umm, Ever?” Meri pokes my side and I grunt, bringing my attention back to her. “What in the ever loving fuck was that?” Her eyes are wide and her mouth is hanging open. “Is there something going on with X? You know he’s more of a player than Luc, right?”
I bristle even though I know it’s true. She just doesn’t understand the reason behind it. But I do. And he's not anymore.
I look down the hall to where the girls all but hang off him.
At least I think so. He told me he’d stop if I asked him to, but did I? Shit, I don’t know now.
“No, nothing’s going on. We just sort of reached a truce this weekend.”
Guilty heat climbs my neck and I head down the hall before
she can ask any more questions. I need some space to collect myself before I do something crazy.
Except I forgot Riot was in English with us. And that he sits right behind me. He spends almost all class draped over his desk, close enough so that I could feel his breath on my neck. By the time the bell rings, I fly from my seat only to hear his low chuckle when I all but run out of the room.
I think I understand the science behind spontaneous combustion.
Holy hell.
“Ever, slow down. Man, either you’re that excited for Calculus, or there’s something going on.”
“Nothing’s going on, I just really need to pee.” I duck into the bathroom and hurry to a stall. I hear Meri laugh and grit my teeth. I so didn’t have to pee. “Stop listening, I have a shy bladder.”
“Fine, I’ll meet you in class then.” The door squeaks as she pushes it open, but I swear I hear her mumble liar under her breath.
I drop my face into my hands and groan.
I’m shit at having friends.
I make it to Calc just as the bell rings and drop into my seat next to Baz. He shifts closer in his seat and when I look over, he’s watching me. Studying me, and I realize he’s checking to make sure I’m okay. He knows what his asshat brothers were doing this morning.
They’re pushing me into a corner to force me to react and I hate that it’s working. Seeing them even talking to those girls, probably a few that X has slept with, wakes a green-eyed monster I never knew lived inside me.
I know Luc asked me out to piss them off, but would he still be interested if I let them claim me in front of the whole school? Somehow I doubt it. Taking on all three Lost Boys would be a death wish.
I am fucked.
Crossing my arms on my desk, I let my head drop forward. The softest touch against my wrist has me looking up and I watch Baz run his thumb over my hand under the guise of handing me a pencil.
Sorry, he mouths and I shrug.
It’s my bed and I have to lay in it.
With them.
In my bed.
God damn it.
I’m in so much trouble.
After trying for almost an hour to focus on the numbers on my worksheet and not the thoughts swirling in my dirty brain, I’m about ready to give up when the bell rings. After a quick explanation to Meri that there’s something wrong with my computer and I need Baz to take a look, he and I head down to the computer wing.
This time I have no trouble stepping into the room with him and after a quick look around, he pulls me against his chest and kisses me like a man starving. I cling to his arms and tease the stud in his tongue until he groans.
“Wanted to do that for the last hour, but didn’t quite think it through,” he pants, pulling away then pushing me down into a chair. He drops next to me and pulls out his super-duper laptop. “You know the guys are just trying to push your buttons, right? Riot is frustrated you won’t let him show the whole school you’re his.”
“Yours,” I say automatically. “All of yours.”
Hungry eyes meet mine and he leans forward to press a quick kiss to my lips, pulling back before either of us take it too far. The guys may need to make it public, but I already know that I belong to them.
“Ours,” he says with a nod. After a few seconds, the look in his eyes changes and he lays his hand on mine. “You ready? We probably won't find anything right away, but I wrote a few codes that will run behind the scenes, searching for any of the parameters I give it. The more you can tell me, the better the chance of finding something legit.”
I spend all of lunch hour in the computer room giving Baz as much information as I can about Belle. Birthday, hair color, eye color, hobbies, stuffed animals, nicknames.
When I tell him Tink, he gets this goofy smirk on his lips.
“What?”
“It’s fate. I don't normally believe in that kind of thing, linear brain and all, but you have to admit it’s a damn weird coincidence, right?”
“Maybe,” I hedge. I’m not counting on anything until all the cards are on the table.
“Definitely,” Baz says with such determination that I find myself believing him, even though fate’s the fickle bitch that’s laughed in my face all my life.
Baz doesn’t find anything right away but he promised me that the system will keep looking and will alert him if anything is a hit. I leave five minutes before lunch is over so I can get to my locker and grab my science book.
The halls are fairly deserted, with only a straggler or two passing by.
I’m only few feet from my locker when I hear a voice calling me.
“Hey, Ever, wait up.”
I turn and see Luc jogging to catch up.
“You weren’t at lunch. I waited to talk to you.”
“Library. I’ve been trying to catch up with everything.”
And the lies continue.
I’m actually ahead in English and turned in my last worksheet in Calc. Environmental Science is a lot of hands on stuff that’s actually really fascinating and fun. I never knew there were careers in that kind of field.
“So, I wanted to see if we could have a redo. This time I promise not to take you to a race. Wasn’t really fair of me to ask you out then ditch you for most of the time.” He ducks his head, looking contrite, then his gaze slides past mine before coming back. He gives me a sheepish smile. “How about Thursday night? Dinner at my house? I have practice until five but we can meet after? I make a mean mac and cheese and I’m kinda famous for my burgers.”
My pulse spikes. This is it. My way in.
He leans in closer and there’s more behind his eyes, but I’ll deal with that later. After I get into the safe and get the timepiece. I won’t have to pretend after that and can let him down easy.
“Sure. I can drive myself there, what time?”
“How about seven? And feel free to wear a skirt again.”
I roll my eyes and he winks.
“See you Thursday.”
“It’s a date,” I say with a grin. “Can’t wait.”
He turns and heads off in the opposite direction and I watch him with giddy anticipation. Everything is falling into place. This could be over in less than a week. Peter could have his timepiece and I’ll know where to find Belle and I can finally tell the guys the truth.
The timing couldn't be more perfect.
I’m still smiling when I turn and immediately come up short. Riot is leaning against my locker, arms crossed over his chest, his face completely blank. No anger, no glaring, just...nothing. My stomach sinks. He’s close enough that he heard everything and I realize now that Luc knew he was there the whole time.
Just fuck my life.
With a deep inhale, I square my shoulders, ready to face the music.
“Ry…”
Betrayal slashes over his face before he slams his walls back in place. My breathing turns ragged as my heart slams against my ribs. Shit. He’s shutting down right before my eyes. I can't let it happen. Screw Peter, I have to tell Riot what’s going on.
I take a step toward him, but he never even gives me a chance to explain before he turns on his heel and walks away. All I can do is watch as everything falls to pieces at my feet, and there’s not a thing I can do to stop it.
As soon as I step into study hall, I know Riot told X.
The accusing glare he sends my way, from the other side of the room, sends the message loud and clear. My stomach tightens painfully as I slide into my seat. We should have stayed home like I wanted to.
But it wouldn’t have stopped the inevitable.
I was always going to have to do this. It’s the entire reason I’m at the Panchard house, driving a Panchard car, spending Panchard money. Peter brought me here for one reason. To get close to Luc. And I did. I just hadn’t planned on hurting anyone.
Or myself.
I need to fix this.
By the time the bell rings, I'm climbing out of my skin. I jump up before anyone else moves. Instead
of going to science, I push out the doors and all but run to the parking lot. I need to get back to the house before Hanna leaves, I need to find a way to get in touch with Peter because he has to tell the boys. They need to know why I'm going out with Luc, especially after what happened this past weekend.
My tires squeal as I pull out of the parking lot and then the only sound I hear is the pounding of my heart. I can't lose them. Not when I've just found them. Tears burn my eyes and I swipe my hand over them.
It’s only been a little over a week and I feel more for them than anyone I’ve ever lived with in foster care. I feel wanted. Included. A part of something special.
How did everything get so fucked up in such a short amount of time?
Because I fell for a trio of broken boys who despite everything, let me in. And what did I do? In their eyes, I betrayed them in the worst way.
The gates swing open and I drive right up to the front door, not bothering with the garage.
"Hanna?" My shout echoes through the house and for a panicked second, I think I've missed her.
"Ever?" She pokes her head out of the kitchen and one look at me has her eyes widening. "Goodness, what's wrong?"
"Peter, I need to talk to Peter right this second."
Blood drains from her face and she clutches the hem of her apron. "The boys? Something happened?"
"No, they're okay." Physically, emotionally I'm not so sure but that's what I'm trying to fix. "I just really need to talk to him, please."
Her shoulders relax a little and I see her wipe at her eyes before she nods. "Come into the kitchen, I have his cell number. It's only for emergencies..."
"It is. But it's about me not them."
"Are you in trouble?"
"I hope not."
I follow her and she pulls out a piece of paper from a small drawer, and jots down a number.
"Thank you."
I can't help giving her a quick hug then hurry out of the kitchen and up to my room. I need privacy for this conversation.
I've got the number dialed before I even close the door.