Noah was afraid of being left. Why he felt that way, I wasn't positive. It hadn't started until after his dad had passed away, so I was pretty sure that had something to do with it. Not once had I ever left my son. That was something I would never do. I'd told him that so many times, but it didn't matter. He was still afraid.
“I have to get there,” I said, as I ran around grabbing everything.
I had my keys in my hand, and as I reached over to grab my phone, I saw it. I'd forgotten to plug the charger into it. When I hit the button to turn it on, nothing happened. It was dead. Crap! There was no reason to take it with me, so I left it on the table and hurried toward the door. I shoved my feet into my shoes, grabbed my purse, swung the door open, and then quickly closed it behind me.
“How could you let this happen?” I asked myself, as I got in my car and took off down the road, hoping with everything in me that Noah wasn't too upset. “Sawyer, that's how!”
It was true. I'd let him distract me just as he'd done the day before. I had a schedule, one I'd been following all year, and he'd screwed it up. I had a plan, and he was getting in the way. If I wasn't careful, he was going to ruin everything.
I pulled into a spot and threw my door open without even looking around to make sure it was safe. Then I took off up the sidewalk toward the school. The moment I saw him, I stopped. Up ahead, with his back to me, was Sawyer, looking so damn sexy. His hair was damp, and he was wearing a tight t-shirt and black jeans with boots beneath them. He was also shaking his ass like a teenage girl. Both kids were standing in front of him, laughing so hard their faces had turned bright red. They were having so much fun. Neither of them had noticed me, so I continued to watch, and before I knew it, I was laughing myself.
When he finally stopped, I began walking again, and it only took a few seconds before Noah was yelling out for me.
“Mom!”
“Hey there,” I said, as I got close enough for him to hear me. “I am so sorry I'm late. My teacher ran over, and my alarm didn't go off.”
I felt horrible. I'd failed my boy.
“Oh, that's okay,” Noah said, as he looked between me and Sawyer. “Uncle Sawyer was teaching us one of the fun dances while we waited for you.”
“Oh yeah?” I asked, trying my best not to laugh at the thought of that ass shaking.
“Yeah,” Noah said. “He was so funny.”
“I thought we were going to learn them together?” I asked, looking over at Sawyer and narrowing my eyes.
“There are so many to learn,” Noah said, as he looked at me and then back at Sawyer. “You've got to see it.”
“Oh, alright,” I said. “If it's that funny, I'll watch.”
“Seriously?” Sawyer asked, as he narrowed his eyes at me.
“Of course,” I answered. “Show me what you've learned.”
Sawyer shook his head before turning back toward the kids.
“Lets show her what we've got,” he said, as he fake threw his hair to the side.
He started to dance, and I couldn't help but burst into laughter.
“You think you can do better?” he asked, as he motioned toward me.
“Then that?” I asked, as I laughed again. “Yeah.”
“Come on,” he said.
“What?” I asked.
“Show us what you've got,” he said, as a sneaky smile spread across his face.
“Out here?” I asked.
“We'll show you,” Ava said.
“Yeah,” Noah chimed in. “Just do what we do.”
Both Ava and Noah did something strange with their hips, and I shook my head.
“I'm supposed to do that?” I asked.
“Yeah,” Noah answered.
“Come on,” Sawyer said, as he folded his arms over his chest, standing there looking all manly, like he hadn't just been doing the very same thing they were. “Get to shaking your booty.”
“Shut up!” I snapped out.
Then I looked over at my son and knew there was no way I was going to say no.
“Here it goes,” I whispered, as I looked around before following along with the kids. “Like this?”
We were in the middle of the school lawn shaking our hips, and all I wanted to do was disappear.
“You have to shake your hips more,” Ava said, as she watched me.
“Yeah, Grace,” Sawyer said with a laugh. “Shake it more.”
I glared over at him and kept my eyes on him as I began to shake it more. Then I lost my footing and toppled over onto the lawn.
“Careful there,” Sawyer said, as he stood there looking down on me.
“You're so funny, Mommy,” Noah said, as he belly flopped down on top of me and burst into laughter.
My boy laughed harder than I had heard him laugh in a long time, and all I could do was hug him and laugh right along with him.
“Grown ups are so weird,” Ava said, as she laughed.
I saw movement out of the corner of my eye, and when I turned my head, I saw the principle and a mom standing at the door watching us. I hurried to my feet and brushed myself off. There was no way I wanted to be the topic of anyone's gossip.
“We should go,” I said, as I looked over at Sawyer. “Come on, Noah.”
Both kids grabbed their bags and began walking with us right behind them. When I reached into my pocket for my keys, they weren't there.
“Shit!” I let out, as I frantically felt around in each of my pockets, “My keys are gone. What if I locked them in the car? What am I going to do?”
“Calm down,” Sawyer said, as he reached over and put his hand on my arm.
“Calm down?” I asked, as I stopped and looked over at him. “This is a mess.”
“Hold on,” he said, with a calm tone to his voice.
He ran the short bit back to where we were, bent down, and ran back, dangling my keys from his finger. He handed them to me, and we started walking again.
“They just fell out of your pocket while you were,” he began, but I cut him off.
“Making a fool of myself.”
“I was going to say having fun with your son,” he said. “It was nice to see you laughing back there. I'd forgotten how cute that laugh is.”
I let out a sigh and then surprised myself.
“I think I forgot how to do it,” I said. “It wasn't so bad seeing that ass shake either.”
“Very funny,” he said, as he looked down at the ground.
“I'm not kidding,” I said, as I smiled. “You should have seen my view, a big tough guy shaking his rear like that. If my phone wasn't dead, I'd have videotaped it for blackmail later.”
He shook his head and kept walking.
“Thank you!” I said.
“For what?” he asked.
“For being there to keep him busy,” I answered. “I can't believe I was late. I got distracted before class and forgot to plug my phone in. That can't happen.”
“It's okay,” he said.
“No, it's not,” I snapped. “It can't happen again. If you and Ava hadn't been there, he would have been a wreck. I told you yesterday, he's afraid of being left. I wasn't kidding.”
“Okay,” he said, as he stopped and looked over at me.
“I can't let you distract me, Sawyer,” I said. “This has to stop. I have to go back to being the way I was before the dance.”
“No, you don't,” he said sternly. “You can have a life and make sure everything is okay for him too.”
“No,” I said, as I began walking toward Noah, “I can't. Come on, Noah. We have to go.”
“Okay,” Noah said, as he walked toward me. “I'll see you Monday, Ava.”
Without another word, I took Noah's hand and walked to my car. He got in, and I closed his door behind him. Then I walked around to my side, got in, and closed the door, feeling as if I had a ton of bricks weighing down on me.
“That was so much fun,” Noah said, as he smiled up at me. “You laughed so hard.”
“I
sure did, baby,” I said, as I looked to my left to see Sawyer watching me as he put his helmet on.
“We have to do that again sometime,” Noah said.
“Maybe we do,” I said, as I watched Sawyer nod toward me.
He got on his bike, and I watched as he helped Ava get on safely behind him. Once he started the bike, I expected him to pull away, but he didn't. Instead, he stood there watching me. He was waiting for me to go first.
“How can such a pain in the ass look that good?” I thought to myself, as I pulled out of my spot and drove away.
“What?” Noah asked.
“Oh, nothing,” I said, realizing I'd made the comment out loud. “So, what do you feel like having for dinner?”
“I get to pick,” Noah said, as he began concentrating on his thoughts, totally letting what I'd just said go.
Yes, I thought to myself. Putting the dinner decision in Noah's court worked every time.
Chapter 12
Sawyer
After dinner, I went to my room and watched television. Ava needed time alone with her mom, so I tried to be aware and make sure they got that time. Those were the times I went for a ride or hung out in my room.
I could only watch so much television, and after a few hours, I couldn't help thinking about Grace and the way she had acted. She was too damn hard on herself. It was as if she was always worried about making everyone else happy. Who was making her happy? Without giving it a second thought, I picked up my phone and sent her a message.
Me: You weren't so bad at shaking your ass today.
She could call me an asshole or tell me to get lost if she wanted, but I wasn't giving up. When her response didn't take forever to come, I was a little shocked.
Gracie: You weren't so bad yourself. It was totally video worthy. Damn phone.
I was in, and I hadn't pissed her off yet, so I switched topics, trying to learn more about her and the new life she was living.
Me: How many days a week do you have classes?
I kind of expected to read it's none of your business and was pleasantly surprised when I didn't.
Gracie: Monday, Wednesday, Friday
Me: Wow!
Gracie: Yep! Tuesday is cleaning day, and Thursday is shopping day. That leaves my weekends for fun with Noah.
Me: When do you study?
I was genuinely concerned. Was she booking herself up every second?
Gracie: When he's in bed, like right now. If I work it right and don't let myself get distracted, I get most of it done in between my classes those three days.
If she doesn't get distracted, she said. That was a knock at me for sure.
Me: Sounds like you have it all figured out.
Gracie: I do.
Me: When do you have time for you?
Gracie: I don't need time.
Me: Everyone needs time, Grace.
Gracie: What I'm doing is working.
Me: Is it really?
Gracie: Yes! It is.
The woman could be so irritating. It seemed like she was on a mission to always be right and to always know what everyone needed, but she was wrong. I knew she was. I just had no idea how to prove it to her.
Me: You have to take a minute for yourself.
Gracie: I'm fine. I want to get a degree and then a job. I don't want to run through every single penny we saved. I need to make money. If I do, my parents will see that I'm making it on my own, truly on my own. They know that right now I'm living off of money my husband made along with the money from his life insurance. I need them to see that I can take care of my son myself, without anything from anyone.
Her parents. It seemed to go back to them every single time. Why was it okay for them to be such assholes?
Me: Why?
Gracie: Why what?
Me: Why does it matter so much what they think?
When her answer didn't come right away, I thought I'd crossed the line and pissed her off, so when the ding came, I was thrilled.
Gracie: Because I'm not a disappointment. Noah was not a mistake. He was a blessing.
Noah was not a mistake. Did she really have to prove that to her parents? She was right, I didn't want kids, but I would never ever see a child as a mistake. Just the thought had me ready to go toe to toe with her father. That man had always been the most critical, judgmental asshole.
Me: You know that right?
Gracie: Of course I do.
Me: Then who cares if they do?
Gracie: Me, Sawyer! I care.
Me: I wish you didn't.
Gracie: Well, I do! I have to get some sleep. We have to be up early tomorrow.
Me: Why? It's the weekend.
Gracie: I'm taking Noah to see his grandparents tomorrow.
Me: How far away are they?
Gracie: An hour and a half.
Me: How long will you be there?
Gracie: For three hours.
She drove an hour and a half each way just for them to visit for three hours. That was nuts.
Me: You drive there alone?
Gracie: No, with Noah!
Me: You know what I mean.
Gracie: No, I don't.
Me: That's a long drive.
Gracie: And
Me: What do you mean and?
The woman was pissing me off. How could she not see the danger in her driving there alone with her little boy?
Gracie: I've been doing it since we moved here.
Me: Do you take him to visit them often?
Gracie: No! Only once a month or so.
Me: What do you do while he visits?
Gracie: I sit at the cemetery and study, or I go to the library if it's raining or something.
Me: Alone!
Gracie: Yes, of course alone, Sawyer. What is wrong with you?
Me: Not a damn thing is wrong with me. What time are you leaving?
Gracie: I'm not telling you.
Me: Why not?
Gracie: Because.
Me: That's not an answer. Text me when you leave and when you get there.
Gracie: No!
Me: No?
Gracie: You know I've been driving alone since I was sixteen, right? Oh wait! You don't know that. You weren't here. Goodnight!
Fuck that! She was not about to pull that shit on me. Yeah, I wasn't there. She was right about that, but there was no damn way she was using that against me, not then anyway.
Me: You have two choices. You text me when you leave, or I come and camp out on your front porch so I can see for myself.
Gracie: You know what?
Me: Yes, I'm an asshole. I've got that.
Gracie: I'm glad we can agree on something.
Me: Which is it Grace?
When she didn't respond, I set the phone down on the bed and got up to get ready. Then the ding came, and I knew she'd seen the light.
Gracie: Fine! I'll text you when I leave, not that it's any of your business.
Me: Thank you!
Gracie: Whatever!
Me: Goodnight, Gracie!
When my phone dinged again, I knew I was in for it. I saw her middle finger selfie she'd sent and burst into laughter. I got back in bed and couldn't stop myself. I had to reply.
Me: Is that the finger you have inside of you right now as you think about me?
Gracie: Goodnight!
I closed my eyes, and a picture of her pleasuring herself popped into my mind. Great, I thought, as I got up and headed for the shower.
“That pain in the ass probably went right to sleep,” I said, as I turned on the water and let it poor down over me.
Chapter 13
Grace
Noah and I were up early. He was looking forward to seeing his grandparents, so he'd picked out a cute outfit to wear. I, on the other hand, was exhausted and threw on the first comfy thing I found. I'd gotten all of my school stuff ready to take with me the night before. That way I could get as much sleep as possible in the morning. That had bitten me in the butt
when Sawyer had started pestering me, but I was up and as ready as I was going to be.
“Can we get breakfast at a fast food restaurant?” Noah asked, knowing I wasn't in the mood to cook and using it to his advantage.
“Yes, we can,” I answered, knowing it would be a treat for him since it wasn't something we did often.
His excitement raised to a new level, and I couldn't help but laugh. It was the little things that mattered the most to me, and seeing that extra wide smile on my boy's face was one of the things I cherished.
With my backpack slung over my shoulder, I opened the front door and nervously looked around before stepping out onto my porch. He wasn't there. Relief instantly swept over me. There was no way I was about to have a showdown with him, not when I was still tired. No way!
We got in the car, and just to piss Sawyer off, I thought about driving away, but I didn't. He had done what he'd said he would do, so I was going to as well. It was only right. I grabbed my phone and pulled up a new message to him.
Me: We're leaving.
I was surprised when my phone went off before I'd even had the chance to set it back down.
Sawyer: Be safe. Text me when you get there.
Me: Seriously?
Sawyer: Yes! That's a long drive.
Me: If you knew how many times I've done this drive alone, you'd know just how ridiculous you sound.
Sawyer: Can you ever just do as your told?
No he didn't, I thought, as I typed back angrily.
Me: As I'm told??? You know what, I don't have time for this shit. I like to be on time. Goodbye!
Sawyer: Text me!
Me: Bite me!
Sawyer: With pleasure!
Then, right after that message, I resent him the picture of my middle finger. That man got to me worse than anyone ever before. The Sawyer I knew when we were kids had nothing on the guy I'd met just three days before. Letting out a grunt, I shut my phone off and put it down. He truly was a giant asshole. Who did he think he was ordering me around?
“Are you mad, Mommy?” Noah asked, and just like that, I let it go.
There was no way my little boy was dealing with the nasty feelings Sawyer left behind for me.
“I'm great, Noah,” I said, as I put my car in reverse. “Let's go get some breakfast for the road. Why don't you put something fun on the radio.”
A Forever Love, Part 2 Page 5