Reckless Kisses

by Addison Moore

  Hallowed Grounds is filled to the brim with students cramming for finals and those who look as if they’re toasting the fact they’re done. Serena and I happen to fall into the latter category.

  We each order an oversized vanilla bean cookie crumble and find a seat near the window.

  “So you’re never going to believe this,” I say as we take the first groan-worthy sips of our delectable delights. “But this pregnancy thing is all your fault.”

  “What?” She nearly blows her drink from her nose. And just as she’s about to assault me for the details, she looks up and averts her eyes at someone standing behind me.

  I turn with my heart pounding, fully expecting to find Seth Baker in all his dark-haired ocean blue-eyed glory, but I find my cousin, Lex, instead—a totally heart-pounding event for far more nefarious reasons. That night I ran out of the Black Bear, I didn’t give her an opportunity to grill me. Instead, it was Trixie and Serena who helped me run straight to Cutler Tower for cover.

  “Why, yes”—she says, taking the seat next to Serena—“I think I will invite myself to this party. What did I miss?” Her crimson hair is a touch darker than Serena’s, but they both share the same hellion appeal. They’re both firecrackers in their own right. Lex has the ability to take the chest hair right off a construction worker. She can be that scary. “Right here, right now, spill the details. Serena asked me to give you space and I did. Guess what? That game is over.” She glowers at me a second before softening. “Now what were you girls discussing before I got here?”

  Serena curls her lips at her sister. “Sunday was just about to tell me how it was all my fault she got herself knocked up.”

  Lex’s mouth drops open. “Is this true?”

  “True as gospel.” I take another sip of my Frappuccino and groan again as the goodness slinks down my throat. “Anyway, it all goes back to the week of finals last semester when we sat right here, I believe, and we discussed how crazy it was that we were both finally in college. You said you were about to run wild and that Lex would blow a gasket if she knew, and that the only one of us that could keep your sister sane was me because I was pretty boring.”

  Both Serena and Lex gasp at once, and it’s actually pretty comical to witness.

  “I didn’t say that.” Serena gets that look in her eye that both warns me and lectures me at once. “Okay, so there might be some truth to it, but I was totally kidding!” She backs a safe distance from her sister in the event Lex is moved to backhand her. “I was, I swear.”

  “Good.” Lex looks from Serena to me. “Sunday.” She exhales hard as she closes her eyes a moment. “Have I taught you nothing about treating everything this girl says with a grain of salt? You know she’s all over the place in life. If you look up the definition of hot mess in the dictionary, you’re apt to find her face.”

  “What?” Serena squawks so loud she solidifies our audience base. Honestly, after that announcement, I had better get used to it.

  “Oh hush, you. We all know it’s true.” Lex knifes her green eyes into mine. “Promise me you’ll never keep anything so big from me again. I know I can never replace your mom, but you need someone in your life who acts as a mother figure and, by darn it, that had better be me.” Lex has a thing with cursing. I think expletives actually burn her ears or at least that’s the line she fed us when we were kids.

  “Lex, for all practical purposes, you are my mother. And if my mother could give you a message from the great beyond, I’m pretty sure she would let you know how proud of you she was that you bothered to step up. So, thank you for that.” I pull her hand over and kiss it since hugging from across the table might endanger Little Fish, and keeping my little fishy safe is top priority for me.

  Lex warms me with a smile. “I’m pretty sure your mom is proud of you, too. Your dad, however, doesn’t know what to make of this, but your mom is sending you all her best wishes. I’m positive of that.”

  “Thank you.” My voice grows small as I fight the urge to bawl. I’d blame it on my out-of-control hormones, but I think we all know my mother’s death is still a pretty sore spot for me. She didn’t have to die. It was an accident. One moment she was here and the next she was in heaven earning her wings. None of it seemed fair. And the pain I felt from losing her, the pain I still feel from her loss is what’s driving me to be the best mother I can be for my little peanut.

  Serena lands her hand over mine and her sister’s. “To no more secrets.” She flits her eyes to Lex. “Between the two of you especially.” She gives a little wink, and we share a laugh.

  Lex grunts, “Just behave yourselves, would you? I don’t want to go gray any faster than I have to.”

  Serena bounces a pink nail over her sister’s arm. “So, what about you and Ax? You planning on expanding the family any time soon? Misty and Nolan beat you to the punch, but there’s still time to join the baby explosion.” Nolan shared the news with me over a text and I felt bad about the nightmare that unfolded that night—especially that it got in the way of their big announcement.

  Lex remains suspiciously quiet a moment too long. “We might be dipping a toe into the kiddie pool soon. I guess you never know what the future holds. Stay tuned, girls. You just might get some news yet.”

  “Aw, that’s great. I’d love for Little Fish to have another cousin to play with.”

  “Little Fish?” they deadpan in unison. It’s clear my baby moniker isn’t the biggest hit.

  Serena moans like she might be sick. “Please tell me that nickname is a passing phase that will time out as soon as that precious baby pops out of your belly.”

  “I promise.”

  Lex bites on her lip nervously, and the fact that Lex is showing any anxiety at all is enough to frighten me. “And please tell me your plans as far as school is concerned—even though you don’t owe me any explanations.”

  “Please, I owe you everything. You helped me shop for winter formals and prom dresses. That was at least a thousand mind-numbing trips to the mall.” I take a deep breath. “I don’t know. And that’s the truth. I’m having the baby in September. Traditionally, that’s when I’d be sorting through my sweaters and eyeing cute fall jackets to add to my growing collection. Instead, I’ll be sorting through baby laundry and eyeing cute booties to add to someone else’s wardrobe. I have to take next semester off. I have no choice. And after that, I might do as many online classes as I can handle. I’ll try to keep up my vlog. But I’ll have to move out of the dorm in a week, and I don’t have a clue where I’ll move to.”

  “You’ll stay with me,” Lex says firmly as if it were an order. “I have three spare bedrooms, so the baby will get a proper nursery. Serena and I are throwing you a shower at the beginning of August, and you’ll have more than enough trinkets and gadgets to ensure you have a happy little fish once she or he arrives. Do you know the gender of the baby, or is this something else you plan on tormenting me with?”

  Serena and I laugh. “I don’t know. But if it makes you feel better, it’s sort of tormenting me, too. I can’t wait to find out, but I’ve decided to wait until D-Day.”

  “You would.” Serena bats her lashes, and it feels as if we’ve bypassed all that weirdness and landed back in that sister zone where we belong.

  “Thank you, Lex, for the offer. I just don’t think I can impose on you and Axel that way.”

  “It’s no imposition.” Her features soften, and she manages to look mildly offended for the first time since I’ve known her. “Promise me you’ll give it serious consideration. Misty and Nolan are about to have a baby of their own, and you can’t live with Rush. We both know it wouldn’t be sanitary.”

  It’s true. Rush has been known to be a hygienic hazard a time or two, but I’ve seen him clean up his dirty ways in more ways than one ever since Trixie stepped into his life.

  Serena leans in, her mouth dropping to meet with her straw a moment as she pins me with a stare. “So, what about the basketball-shaped elephant in the room? Are
you ready to touch that, or is he still persona non-grata?”

  I swallow hard at the thought of Seth. My Seth. The only boy I’ve ever loved, and I’m pretty sure I ever will. My heart still breaks thinking about everything that’s transpired.

  “Um, yeah, I guess that’s still up in the air. I mean, I do want to talk to him, but there are a few other people I’d like to straighten things out with first.” I look to Lex. “Would you mind giving me a ride to Rush’s place? There’s someone just outside of The Row that I sort of need to mend fences with.”

  Lex nods solemnly. “How about I give Nolan a quick call and you meet them both at the Black Bear? That way you can at least score dinner out of the deal. I’ll walk you across the street.”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  “I’ll meet you outside.” Lex pulls out her phone and heads on out, leaving Serena and me to ourselves a moment.

  “I’m sorry.” Her lips quiver as she says it. “I wish I could take back what I said that day. I never meant to hurt you, and I never meant to alter the course of your life.”

  I shrug it off. “You know what? I’m not that sorry. We can’t go back in time, and I’m not going to play the erase your child game. Little Fish is here, and you’ll always have a special place in his or her life.”

  She belts out a short-lived laugh. “I practically willed that child into being.”

  “That you did.”

  “I’m going to be the best crazy aunt ever. I promise you that.”

  “And Shep is going to be an uncle,” I muse. Serena and Shep have had a longstanding love-hate relationship with the pendulum swinging toward aggressive dislike on Serena’s end.

  “Would you stop? He’s not even related to this baby. And if he were, he’d be the bullish know-it-all uncle Little Fish would grow to hate. I’ll have to keep an eye on the baby around him. He’s liable to turn your sweet angel into a preppy attorney before he or she can graduate preschool. If he tries to preach the anthems of law school to me one more time, I might just jam my stiletto down his throat. Honestly, the less I see of him, the better.”

  “Mmm. So, what do you have planned now that school is over?”

  “Summer session.” She wrinkles her nose. “I’m taking some quasi-real world course that does double duty by gifting me the units I’ll need toward my degree and counts as a bona fide internship in the process. I’m sort of looking forward to it. Who knows? I might meet someone exciting and make it all worthwhile.”

  “I’m positive you will. Besides, you’re the one who makes things exciting and don’t you forget it.”

  We hug it out, and I head out to meet with Lex. It’s time to make things right with the ones I love, one family member at a time.

  Seth bounces through my mind, and my heart wrenches. Heck, maybe I’ll meet up with him, too. My heart races a little faster. With Seth is the only place I want to be.

  On the way to the Black Bear, Lex walks by my side chatting away about life with Axel, my new life just up around the bend with the baby, and everything under the sun. I can’t help but bask in the light of her love for me. Lex truly is as close to a mother to me as you can get.

  I lean in and wrap my arm around her waist. “I know I don’t say it nearly enough, but I love you.”

  “I know.” She brushes a kiss over my forehead. “I’ll always be here for you, Sunday. And so will Serena. I never want you to isolate yourself from us again. I’m going to help you with the baby, too. Whatever you need, I’m going to make sure it’s done. You’re not alone, Sunday, and you never will be.”

  I look up at my beautiful cousin, and my body trembles as I struggle to keep it together. “Thank you. And thank you for keeping this family together even after the world blew it apart.”

  She wraps her arm around me tight as we head into the Black Bear.

  “There they are.” Lex nods to the rear of the bar where Trixie and Rush are already seated.

  “Perfect. I wanted to speak to them first anyway.”

  “I’m taking off. Let me know if you need anything else. Oh, and we’re having dinner at The Sloppy Pelican Friday night to celebrate Nolan and Misty’s good news. Sort of a do-over.”

  I wince because I happen to be the reason for said do-over. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

  Lex takes off, and I head over to the back. As soon as Rush spots me, he jumps to his feet and pulls me into a strong hug. My brother’s familiar cologne takes over my senses, and that sweet scent makes me feel nothing short of safe. Rush has always been my biggest protector. Nolan was grown by the time we were teenagers, but Rush has played the part of my personal bodyguard for as long as I can remember.

  He pulls away, blinking back tears, and it rips me apart to see him this way.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” I say as we take our seats. “That you couldn’t protect me.”

  He nods as if words weren’t an option at the moment. I can see the pain in his eyes. I know there would never be enough words to express them.

  “It’s not true,” I assure him. “You always protect me even when we’re not together. I feel you there like a miniature angel sitting on my shoulder telling me what I should and shouldn’t do. Even that night I felt it. So don’t feel bad. It was all on me.” I look to Trixie and shrug. “And it is Seth’s.” I’m not sure why I said it. As if this baby being Seth’s made anything better. I’m still royally ticked off at him for letting me think I was carrying Eli Gates’ baby.

  ELI! Oh my shit! I have completely forgotten about the poor guy. He’s probably insane with worry by now. After Nolan texted that first night and Seth started blowing up my phone, I buried the thing under my bed and didn’t bother picking it back up until about an hour ago.

  My lids open wide, and suddenly I have the urge to run. “Oh my God, I haven’t told Eli yet.”

  Rush reaches over and gives my hand a light tap. “Seth beat you to it. They ran into each other at the gym, and he made things right. Eli’s not upset. Don’t worry about him.”

  “Oh.” I sag with relief. “Well, I still owe him an apology regardless.” I rake my eyes from Rush to Trixie. “And I want to apologize to the two of you. Trixie, I should have confided in you from the beginning. And, Rush, well, I’ll be honest, I probably wouldn’t change things all that much. You are my brother, prone to violent fits of protection. I’m pretty sure Seth would have a broken leg by now.”

  “Two broken legs,” a deep voice strums from behind, and we find Nolan standing there looking every bit the older version of Rush, the same look of love beaming from his eyes. He pulls me into a warm hug before taking the seat beside me. “How you feeling?”

  “Great, now that I’m surrounded with all the people who love me.”

  Nolan frowns, looking down at me a moment. “I’m glad. But I hope you’re going easy on Seth. I’ve been in his shoes before. Letting things slide for the sake of peace in the moment has bitten me in the ass a time or two. It’s what kept Misty and me apart all those years. Don’t let a half a decade slide by before you straighten things out with him.”

  I glance down at my baby bump, the one Seth gifted me, and take a deep breath. “I doubt I’ll go that long without seeing him. We are rather connected to one another at the moment—and for many moments to come.” I meet up with my older brother’s gaze once again. “Congratulations to you and Misty. I feel awful that I ruined your big announcement.”

  He shakes his head as if it was nothing. “Just come to The Pelican Friday night. Misty would love to have you there.”

  Trixie grunts, “If I might make a suggestion, find Seth and have it out before then or hold your peace until Saturday.”

  “Saturday? I couldn’t be in the same room with Seth and not want to throttle him.” And kiss him deeply, but I don’t dare give my brothers the visual. “I’ll take care of things, I promise.”

  Nolan slings his arm over my shoulders. “Don’t hurry on my account. You take your time. Do what feels right. Whatever you
choose to do, you have Misty’s support and mine.”

  “Ditto.” Rush blinks a dry smile. “You want me to be there with you when you go toe-to-toe?”

  Trixie swats him. “They’re not going toe-to-toe, you brute. They’re not even going to have a war of words. They love each other. And they have for far longer than either of you two realize. And please recognize the fact the reason your sister held back her feelings for so long was all your fault.”

  “What?” Rush inches back at the concept.

  “That’s right.” Trix looks to me. “Spill it, Sunday.”

  A dull laugh brews in my chest. “I don’t know how you sucked this vital information out of my brain, but you’re right.” I look to each of my brothers in turn. “When Seth came into our lives all those years ago, the two of you let me know in no uncertain terms that I should stay away from him, and being the loyal sister I am, I took it to an extreme. I couldn’t even bring myself to be friendly with the poor guy without feeling like I was letting you down. So I built a wall.”

  “A big one,” Trixie interjects. “One so hostile and impenetrable that it makes the Great Wall of China look like a child’s toy.”

  I cringe at her word choice. I’m pretty sure we should leave all tenses of the word penetration off the table—especially a table my brothers are sitting at.

  “Again, she’s right.”

  Nolan blows out a quick breath. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea that’s been going on all this time. I mean, I do remember having that conversation with you.”

  Rush wrinkles his forehead. “Me, too. I just thought it was the right thing to say. Keep you out of trouble.”

  “That backfired.” I glance down at my belly, and Little Fish does an aerobic move that makes me smile. “Anyway”—I look to both of my brothers with firm resolve to take back my identity and full control over my emotions from this moment on—“I’m in love with Seth Baker, and there’s not a thing anyone can do about it. Least of all the two of you.”

  “Is that so?” a deep, highly familiar voice says from behind, and I’m right back to cringing. That wasn’t for Seth’s ears, not yet anyway. I wanted to rip into him, make him suffer in my presence for at least ten hellish minutes before I let him off the hook.