by Heather Lyn
Before leaving the bedroom, I snatch my cell from the end table and gently shut the bedroom door behind me. Jace was completely worn out last night, and I want him to sleep as long as he needs. Deciding to have my one cup of caffeine, I brew a full pot of coffee and scroll through my phone.
“Oh shit,” I mumble, realizing I have half a dozen texts from Drew. I never messaged last night to let him know how Jace was. I don’t even bother texting, just call his number and listen to it ring.
“Stella, hey.”
“I am so sorry I didn’t text you,” I rush out, slapping myself on the forehead. “We fell asleep early, and I forgot.”
“It’s okay, seriously. Don’t stress it. How is he?”
“Better, I think. He let me read the letter, and Jesus, Drew.”
“That bad, huh?” He sounds upset.
“No, not bad. Just… I don’t know how to describe it. It forced Jace to face his loss all over again, brought Casey and Bryan right to the forefront and broke his heart into a million pieces. But in some sort of way, I think it will heal him too. I could see it in his face last night before he went to sleep. He looked peaceful.”
“Thank Christ,” he responds, and I smile at his words.
“Are you okay, Drew? I mean, I know you weren’t in the accident, but you and Jace are incredibly close.”
“I’m doing okay now that I know he is. Watching your older brother suffer the way he has, hurt the way he still does, it’s hard. Not gonna lie. We all just wanted to help him, and seeing a therapist worked for a while, especially after the accident, but he’s a grown man. Nobody can make him stop feeling guilty, especially when there isn’t a single person who blames him for their deaths. But Jace holds himself responsible, and that’s the strongest kind of guilt.”
Drew’s words penetrate my heart, and despite the mess of last night, I grin.
“Jace is lucky to have you,” I quietly muse, and he chuckles.
“No, Stella. He’s lucky to have you. Listen, do you think it would be okay if I came over? I guess I just want to see for myself how he is.”
“Do you like your eggs scrambled or runny?”
“Scrambled. I’ll see you in a bit.”
Ending the call, I pull the refrigerator open and get started on breakfast. Soon the room is filled with the smell of coffee and bacon, a loud knock sounding on the front door just as I’m dumping the scrambled eggs onto a serving plate. Wiping my hands, I go to the front door, pulling it open to allow Drew inside. He drops a kiss to my cheek and pulls his coat off as we go.
“Do you want to sit in here or the dining room?” I ask him, and he answers with a shrug. “Dining room it is. Help me carry these, will you?”
Motioning to the plates and utensils, I pick up the eggs and bacon and he follows me. We both take a seat, and I offer him the plate of bacon.
“Where is he?” Drew asks, taking a bite of food.
“Still sleeping, I think. I wasn’t sure if I should wake him up.”
“No need.” Jace’s voice sounds behind us, and I turn toward the kitchen, where he’s standing in the doorway. His hair is damp from a shower, and he’s dressed in a pair of jeans and a worn T-shirt. He bends over to kiss me, sneaking a piece of bacon as he does.
“Hey, man,” Drew greets and stands to hug his brother, who returns it hard.
“Drew. What are you doing here so early?”
“Wanted to check on you,” Drew states simply, eating a forkful of eggs.
“Thanks.” Jace slaps him on the back before sliding into the seat next to me, reaching for his own plate of food.
“So?” Drew questions, grasping for his cup of coffee.
“I’m all right, brother. Yesterday was rough, and I’ll be honest, the last thing I expected was a letter filled with remorse and regret. I’m gonna be a dad in only a couple of months, and my two best friends aren’t here to share in it with me. They didn’t get to become dads themselves. It’s always gonna hurt, Drew.”
“I just want you to be okay.” Drew looks misty-eyed for a second but brushes it off.
“Hey, listen to me. I know I was in a dark place for a long time after. I’m not going there again, I promise. Have I ever lied to you?” he asks, and Drew shakes his head. Jace leans over so he can grab the back of his brother’s head and turn his eyes to him. “I promise, Drew.”
“Okay.”
“I talked to their parents this morning, before I hopped in the shower. They’re good, but it’s like ripping the scab off a wound. Makes it fresh for them, but they’ll get through it.”
“I can’t imagine,” I respond, my mind heavy at the thought of losing my own child.
Standing from my seat, I move back into the kitchen to grab the orange juice for us. I pour Jace a glass, who takes it from me with a wink, and then hand Drew one as well.
“So what are you two crazy kids up to today?” Drew asks.
“Well, I’m supposed to go with your mom to pick out supplies for the baby shower, but I can absolutely postpone it if I need to.”
Jace shakes his head. “No, you go, baby. Drew and I can go grab some food and hit the batting cages.”
“You’re sure?”
“Positive. Are you meeting Mom at the house?”
“No, she’s gonna come pick me up.” Finishing my orange juice, I cringe when I feel heartburn starting and rub my hand over my chest.
“Do you need a Tums?” Jace rubs his hand up and down my back. I nod at him and he’s gone in a flash, coming back in a moment later with the bottle. Gratefully, I take it from him and chew a couple, the burning sensation fading not long after.
“Thank you.”
Kissing the top of my head, Jace takes his seat again, pouring himself and Drew another cup of coffee.
I glance at the clock hanging in the kitchen. “If I’m going, I need to get changed. You sure it’s okay?”
“Absolutely, babe.”
“Would you guys mind taking care of these dishes for me?” I ask, and they both wave me off.
Padding into the bedroom to get dressed, I decide on comfort for today. Pulling on thick socks over my leggings, I yank on my boots, glad we’re finally moving toward warmer weather. I hate the cold, and this winter has been extra brutal it seems.
Hitting my hair with the blow-dryer, I plait it into a long braid and toss it over my shoulder. I’m on my way to the living room when I almost bump into Jace, his hands coming out to steady me.
“Shit, baby. I’m sorry, wasn’t even paying attention. Mom is here.”
“Perfect, I’m ready to go.”
Jace guides me out to the living room and helps get me into my coat. “I’ll call you later to check in, all right?”
“Yeah. Have fun with Drew.”
“Always do.”
Careful not to squish my belly, I give him a hug and breathe him in. “I love you.”
“Love you too, Stell. Now go, buy lots of balloons and glitter.”
“Balloons and glitter?” I laugh.
“Whatever it is you buy for baby showers.” He grins, giving my ass a slap.
I shake my head at him and grab my purse, blowing him a kiss as I walk out the front door. Anna is waiting in her white SUV, and I climb in, a fresh smile on my face.
“Stella, you look beautiful, honey.”
Before I buckle up, I lean over the console to hug her tight, and she kisses my cheek.
“Thank you. I feel ginormous.”
“No, you’re positively glowing.”
I reach for my seat belt as she begins backing out of the driveway, and I catch sight of Jace and Drew standing on the porch, both of them waving. Anna honks the horn, and I blow them a kiss.
Jace seems genuinely okay, and I thank the Lord above that he is.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
JACE
Time never moved faster than it did after we found out we were pregnant.
It feels like just yesterday we found out she was carrying my baby
girls. Now we’re just over a month away from the due date, and today is our baby shower. Grabbing my electric razor, I clean up my scruff and then brush my hair, trying to get control of it. Figuring some gel will help, I smooth some into the locks and brush it back, grateful it holds.
Stella’s been telling me for weeks to get it cut, but I just haven’t found time.
Between work and preparing for the girls, I’ve been going nonstop. Stella is officially on maternity leave, and she’s enjoyed putting the finishing touches on the nursery.
I’m shutting the bathroom light off when I hear her yell for me from the living room. Picking up my white Converses from next to the bed, I step into the living room and find her struggling to buckle her shoe.
Dropping my sneakers, I hurry to help her, laughing when she lets out the cutest growl at herself. “Maybe you shouldn’t wear heels,” I suggest, and she gives me a death glare. “What?”
“Jace Miller, I may have a huge ass, and I may be carrying two babies in this giant watermelon of a stomach, but I am wearing my high heels to this damn baby shower.”
“Baby….”
“Ugh, fine! Stupid swollen feet. Will you go grab me my white sandals, please? They’re on the second shelf in the closet.”
“Back in a sec.” Taking the shoes she was just trying to put on, I set them on top of the bed and go into the closet, locating the sandals she wanted. Making my way back out to the living room, I help her slip them on and then hold out a hand so she can stand. When she’s on her feet, she brushes her hands over her dress and then holds her arms out at her sides.
“Do I look okay?”
Her long brown hair is wavy, her lips a glossy pink. Her dress is white with little pink flowers all over it. Her ample cleavage is enough for me to lose my mind, and her long legs are on full display.
“Fucking stunning.”
“I have to say, Miller, you don’t look half bad yourself.”
I chose to wear tan slacks rolled up at the ankles and a pale pink button-down. Shoving my feet into my Converses, I run back into the bedroom to put on my watch and come back ready to go.
“Let’s roll, baby.”
My parents are hosting the baby shower in their backyard, my mom more than willing to have it there. Ever since she and Stella went shopping, she’s done nothing but send me message after message about something she found or a party game idea.
My mother is in heaven preparing for these little girls.
Mid-April weather here in Nashville is beautiful, and Stella grabs a white sweater she threw over the back of the couch. Helping her climb up into my truck, I can’t help climbing in after her to steal a kiss.
Running around the hood and getting into the driver side, I look over at her with a wry grin, and she follows suit.
“Let’s go celebrate these monkeys,” she says, and I slide my palm over her belly.
The drive to Mom and Dad’s is easy, Luke Bryan crooning some love ballad through the speakers. Stella sings along quietly, and I wish I could snap a photo of her in this moment.
Cheeks pink. Eyes bright. Hands holding her stomach, the breeze blowing her hair around from where her window is half down.
When we turn into the driveway minutes later, there are at least a dozen cars lined up, most of which I recognize. I don’t come from a large family, but my grandparents will be here, along with all our friends and family. Stella told me that most baby showers are usually women only, but she wanted everyone here to share our special day.
Bundles of pink balloons are tied along the deck railing, and there is a giant sign directing the guests to the backyard. I take Stella’s hand in mine, and we make our way around the back, both our eyes widening when we take in what Mom has done.
“Oh, Jace,” Stella breathes, her hand pressed over her heart. There are three large round tables dressed up with pink and white roses, darker pink petals all over the tables. White plates and silverware are already set up alongside gold water goblets.
There is a photo booth set up in one corner with a tray of accessories, a gigantic table covered in presents, and over by the grill is the food spread. Hanging off the back deck is a banner with pink and white lettering.
Welcome Baby Girls!
Stella and I have kept our girls’ names a secret, not wanting to tell anyone until they’re born. It’ll be more special that way. We came up with the perfect names, that have special meaning, and we know everyone will love them.
“You’re here!” Mom comes scurrying over to us, pulling us each into a hug and kissing me.
“Mom, this is incredible,” I tell her with a smile.
“Anna, I can’t thank you enough. This is magical. Thank you.” Stella gives her another hug, and Mom pats her back. She walks us in, and we’re overwhelmed in minutes with greetings and well wishes. She shows us the table she’s set up just for us to sit at.
Dad waves from the grill, and I feel a hand come down on my shoulder. Turning, I find Garret with Sadie holding his arm.
“Hey, man.” Grabbing him in for a half hug, I lean down to kiss Sadie’s cheek. She holds her hand out to Stella, who pulls her in for her own hug.
“So happy for you two, buddy. You guys are beautiful.”
“Sure have become a sappy fucker, huh?” I joke, Garret laughing at me.
“Daughters, Jace. They’ll do that to you.”
“Well, then, I look forward to it.”
Stella and I mingle around, and when everyone has arrived, we all take our seats, pitchers of lemonade sitting in the center of each table. I pour us each a glass as my parents stand next to our table, and we all toast to the girls. Looking at my beautiful Stella, I see her wipe away a tear with the cloth napkin, and I scoot her chair closer to mine so I can keep my arm around her.
I get the feeling a lot of tears will be shed today.
§
Three hours later, we’re wiped out.
We opened so many presents; I’m not sure where half of them will go. Gram gave us the pink baby blankets she crocheted. Drew, Garret, and I chugged baby bottles filled with apple juice. Everyone left their guesses on the birth weights and birthday. Stella cried when Mason gave her a baby book that had our maternity photos in a cover collage.
Drew and my dad loaded up the bed of my truck with everything, and most of the guests have left. Stella and I are sitting at one of the tables with Garret, Brody, Lindsey, and Sadie.
“Stella, we never even asked, but did you guys get the tour of the maternity wing yet?” Lindsey asks, taking a sip of wine.
“Yeah, we went last week. It’s beautiful.”
“I got to see it while it was under construction, and my God, did they upgrade it. They were able to use one of the corridors that wasn’t being used and turn it into two more suites. And everyone up there is amazing.”
Lindsey is a nurse in the emergency room at Memorial, and she’s been a great sounding board the last few months. She and Stella have done lunch with Sadie more than once, and I know these ladies are going to be some mom friends for Stella.
“Have you decided what kind of birth you want yet?” Sadie asks, and Stella grimaces.
“The least painful kind? Kidding, but I’m gonna go as long as I can without an epidural. I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but I know with twins I’m probably insane for thinking I can do it without some kind of pain meds.”
“Not crazy. Plenty of women have babies with no medication. Plus, you’re a tough chick. You can do it.”
“Jace is gonna take a month off, so I know that will help, but I’m starting to get nervous.” Running her finger around the edge of the glass, Stella gives them a small smile.
“You’ll do great. Will it just be you and Jace in the delivery room?” Lindsey asks.
“Yeah. Jace is so excited. He had these custom signs made for above their cribs. He’s gonna be the best dad,” she gushes, and they both agree. My face heats with their words, and I pull Stella tight against my side.
“I know, and that’s why I was surprised when he said he was so nervous. Claims he has no idea what to do with babies, and it’s like ‘Hello. Your niece and nephew, Jace?’”
They all laugh, and I look over at them, giving a wave. “Yeah, hi. You know I’m sitting right here, no?”
Brody gets up from the table and comes back a moment later with three beers, handing one each to Garret and me.
“Thanks, man,” I tell him. “At least someone has my back here.”
“Oh chill, Jace. We wouldn’t be doing our jobs if we didn’t give you shit,” Lindsey teases, and Brody laughs.
“My woman’s right, buddy. You should listen to her.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I mutter, taking a pull from my beer.
Long after everyone leaves, the six of us sit and talk, and by the time we separate and Stella and I head home, I know without a doubt that we’ve got this.
We’re gonna be fine.
§
Stepping into the bullpen, I’m trying to find our sergeant. I’ve been on shift all day, and I need to talk to him before I clock out. When I don’t find him, I settle for leaving a note on his desk to call me before I swing down to the locker rooms. Changing out of my uniform, I’m pulling on a pair of sneakers when my cell phone starts ringing. It’s Stella.
“Hey, baby, what’s going on?” I answer, tucking my phone against my shoulder as I collect my things, tucking them into my duffel.
“Are you on your way home yet?” she asks, and her voice sounds pinched.
“In just a minute. Why?”
“Okay, so I spent most of the day not feeling well, and I didn’t want to make you come home for no reason. But I think I might be in labor.”
Slamming my locker shut, I race for the parking lot as quickly as I can, breaking into a dead sprint when I get outside.
“Are you having contractions?”
“Yeah, my back is killing me. Plus, I’m pretty sure my water broke. That or I pissed all over the damn couch.”