by Heather Lyn
My heart is pounding in my chest as I hop into my truck, cranking the engine and flooring it. I tell Stella I’ll be home in a minute and toss my cell into the cup holder, using two hands to keep my truck on the road.
She’s early. She’s just about to hit thirty-seven weeks, and I’m worried that’s too early. Then again, I have no idea what’s too early, so I just focus on getting home in one piece. When I go roaring down the driveway ten minutes later, I leave the truck running and race inside.
I find her standing in the living room with her hands flat against the wall, bent over with her head down. “What’s wrong?” I ask, setting a hand on her back.
“It’s a contraction, crazy man. It hurts like a fucking bitch and a half.”
“Oh. Do we need to go to the hospital? Do I need to call ahead?”
“Jace.” Stella stands up straight, both her hands on her lower back. “My bag has been packed for weeks. The car seats are installed in your truck. I already called the hospital, and they want me to come in now since my water broke. Now, do you need to do some Lamaze breathing, or are you okay?”
Her smile is small but genuine, and I give her a kiss on the forehead.
“Is it okay that they’re coming now? Isn’t it too early?”
“They didn’t seem too worried about it, so let’s just go, and when we get there, you can bombard them with all the questions you need. But if another contraction hits before you get me in the truck, you’re gonna be carrying me out of here.”
“I love you so much, Stell.”
“I love you too. Now let’s go.”
She points to the large bag laying on the floor near the back of the couch, and I toss it over my shoulder, using my other arm to help her walk out to the truck. Getting her safely inside, I toss the bag in the back seat and climb in.
“This is the last time we leave the house as just the two of us,” I say, and she nods.
“Let’s go meet our girls,” she whispers, and a minute later she’s grabbing for my arm, her face twisted in pain. She does deep breathing in and out, and I clench the wheel, getting us to the hospital as fast as possible.
§
Eight hours later, I’m standing next to Stella’s bedside, rubbing my thumb back and forth over her forehead. When we got here, we found out she was already four centimeters dilated and had been in labor for most of the day, more than likely. They gave her an epidural a couple hours later, and she’s been sleeping most of the time.
After they got her hooked up to the monitors and started an IV, I made sure to ask if the babies were okay to be born. The nurse assured me that most twins are born early, and that at thirty-seven weeks, they will be perfectly safe. Once she was asleep, I called Drew and told him we were at the hospital. He offered to start a phone chain and get the news out that we were having the babies.
Stella’s eyes flutter open, and she gives me a small smile. “Hi.”
“How are you feeling, babe?”
“Tired.”
Reaching for the pitcher of ice chips they gave her, I pour some into a cup and help her have a few. “Pain’s gone though, right?”
“Yeah, it’s weird. I can’t feel anything below my waist.”
“I didn’t like seeing you in so much pain, Stell. That was scary.”
“Yeah, but worth it. Now I can relax until it’s time to push. Did they say when they’d be back in to check on me?”
“Around midnight, I think.” Looking at the clock, I see it’s quarter of. “Can I get you anything, baby?”
“No, I’m okay. Did Drew call Mason?”
“As far as I know. I told him I’d keep them all updated and they could come when we were ready to have the babies, so they can be here to meet them after.”
“Perfect.”
Sinking back down in the chair next to her bed, I lean back and reach for the remote, switching on the eleven o’clock news. Some television ad starts running when the nurses come in to check on Stella, relief present on her face when they tell her she’s almost fully dilated.
“Get some rest, Stell.” Leaning over the bed, I give her a kiss and then get comfortable, knowing we’re in for a little bit longer wait.
§
“Jace, I need you to hold on to Stella’s right leg and push it back toward her chest.”
Stella is ten centimeters, and it’s officially time to push. After midnight, the rest of the time went by pretty quick. She woke up in discomfort, and when they came in, they found she was fully dilated and it was showtime.
While they got her bed set up for delivery, I called Drew and then was back at her bedside.
“Now, Stella, when you feel your next contraction, I need you to bear down and push as hard as you can, okay? Try counting to ten in your head, then a good deep breath. You ready?”
“Hell yes, let’s do this,” she groans.
Holding her leg in one hand and her right hand in my other, I squeeze and drop my forehead to hers.
“This is it, baby.”
“You ready to meet your daughters, Miller?” she whispers, and I laugh, nodding against her forehead. She bites down on her bottom lip, and I know the contraction has hit.
“Here we go, Stella. Push!”
She scrunches up her face and bears down. Keeping my forehead on hers, I count to ten, Stella taking a deep breath before she starts pushing again.
“Thatta girl, sweetheart. Keep giving me good strong pushes like that and your first baby will be out in just a few minutes. That’s it,” the doctor praises.
Stella nods and then grunts, letting out a painful cry, her hand gripping mine even tighter.
“I see the head, Stella. She’s crowning. One more good push.”
“You can do it, baby. Come on, Stell.”
She lets out another groan and her head falls back, sweat running down her forehead. A piercing cry fills the room, and I look down at the doctor, who’s cradling our firstborn.
“It’s a girl,” she announces, and tears fill my eyes, watching my baby girl take her first breaths, hands clawing the air.
“Holy fuck, Stell. You did it, baby,” I choke out, tears falling down my cheeks.
Stella lets out a sob and presses her lips to mine.
“Would Daddy like to cut the cord?”
“Yes,” I say in a rush, moving to the foot of the bed. She shows me where to cut, and I do it carefully, unsure if I’ll hurt Stella or my daughter. I get my first look at her, and I have to force the emotions down. We still have another baby to deliver, and I can’t be a weeping mess.
A nurse takes her over to the small table waiting for them both, cleaning her off. I want to go check on her, but Stella lets out a whimper and I turn back to my girl, resuming my place next to her. I kiss her hard, pulling back to look at her heavy-lidded eyes.
“She’s beautiful, Stell. You’re doing so good. I’m so fucking proud of you.”
Four minutes later, our second daughter comes into the world. They’re both tiny, weighing just over five pounds each. Both of them clean, two nurses bring them over, Stella reaching for both of them. As careful as possible, she cradles them to her chest, her eyes closing as she begins to cry. My own tears run unchecked down my cheeks.
“They’re perfect,” I whisper, leaning over to kiss each of their heads.
Stella reaches for my hand and I take it, leaning over to kiss her. “I love you so much, Stella. Look at what you’ve given me.”
“I love you too.”
On May 4, Emily Anna Miller and Grace Evelyn Miller are born four minutes apart, both as feisty and beautiful as their mother, and both named for their grandmothers.
And I’m completely in love.
My girls.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
STELLA
I’m head over heels in love with these pink bundles on my lap. They just got me cleaned up, and the girls are swaddled, little pink caps on their heads.
“Can you believe how tiny they are?” I ask Jace, his
chuckle making me smile.
“I know. I’m almost afraid to touch them. They’re like the size of my hands.”
“Not quite.”
Jace stands from his chair and goes over to the bag I packed, rummaging around until he finds his camera. He’s been finding any excuse to take photos, and even though I have no makeup on and my hair is a tangled mess, I let him snap a few. Then he sits on the edge of the bed and turns the camera around, kissing my cheek as he takes one of us. He sets his camera on the couch in the corner just as his cell phone starts beeping, and I know it’s because we have some anxious family in the waiting room ready to meet these two.
“They can come in now, Jace. Go get them. You know they’re chomping at the bit.”
“Yeah, probably. You’re sure you’re up to it, sweetheart?”
“Absolutely.”
Winking at me, he’s gone from the room a second later, and I’m alone with my babies. I’m sore as hell, but I get as comfortable as I can manage, lifting Emily and Grace into my arms. Their heads are nestled together on my chest, and I swear I’ve never felt such an intense love. I never thought I could love somebody more than their father, but I was wrong.
This kind of love is unbreakable.
I have no idea how much time passes when the door to our room opens and Jace steps back inside. “I have some people who would really like to meet the newest members of the family.”
He steps aside, and Drew comes walking in, his parents and Mason right on his heels. Jace maneuvers around them so he can be back at my side, and he reaches down to pick up Emily. Anna starts crying, and Mason fights his own emotions when he strides over to kiss my cheek.
“Congratulations, little sister. You did so good.”
“Thanks, Mase,” I choke out, reaching up to cup his cheek. “Would you like to hold her?” I ask him, voice thick with tears, and he nods, reaching out for Grace.
Jace hands Emily to his parents, and then he comes to sit on the bed next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders so I can lean my head on him.
“What are their names?” Drew asks, and I look up at Jace, giving him the go-ahead.
“Well, Mom has Emily Anna, named after the beautiful woman holding her.”
His mom cries harder, pressing a kiss to her little forehead.
Jace smiles and continues. “And Mason, you’ve got Grace Evelyn, born four minutes after her sister.”
His eyes lock on mine as soon as Jace says her name, and my big brother crumbles, a few tears slipping down the side of his face. I fight my own tears as he runs his finger down the side of her cheek, softly cooing to her.
Our girls are passed around to each of the most important people in their lives, each told how much they’re loved. It’s been almost a year since I met Jace, and I never would have imagined this would be our life in such a short amount of time. I have no doubt in my mind that Jace Miller was brought into my life for a reason, and I couldn’t be more grateful.
He gave me love. And now he’s given me our family.
§
“You know, sweet girl, it’s not nice to throw up on Mommy,” I say, laying Emily down on my bed so I can get her changed. Jace is in the nursery changing Grace’s diaper, and I just finished feeding Emily, only to burp her and have spit-up pour down my back.
Her small coos are like music to my ears, and leaving her in the middle of my bed in her diaper, I toss the dirty onesie in the hamper and pull another burp cloth from the laundry basket, getting myself cleaned up as best as possible.
“Hey, babe, can you bring me a clean onesie when you come back in?” I yell to Jace, and he tells me he’ll be there in a moment. Wiping the spit-up off Emily, I haul her into my arms as Jace comes into the room, a pair of cotton shorts slung low on his hips, holding Grace to his bare chest.
“Excuse me, where is your shirt?” I ask, pulling the onesie from his hand.
“Uh, the dresser?” He raises his eyebrows at me.
“I pushed your babies out of my vagina, and I still can’t have sex for almost three weeks, and you come walking in here with no shirt on, baby in your arms, looking like a whole-ass snack. Not cool, Jace Andrew Miller. Not cool at all.”
Jace laughs, the sound booming, and I suppress my own laugh, biting down on my bottom lip. “You think I don’t feel that way too, Stell? Like I’m supposed to ignore those gorgeous breasts that are at least two sizes larger. Why do you think I take so many showers?”
Shaking my head at him, I get Emily into her clean onesie, kissing her cheek when I’m done. “Well, little lady, you are ready for bedtime. Now, if you would only sleep for more than three hours, we’d be perfect.”
“It’s this troublemaker’s fault,” Jace jokes, holding Grace up.
“Yeah, she takes after her daddy.”
“You wound me, baby.”
Pushing myself up against the headboard, I lift my knees so I can settle Em on my lap. Her big blue eyes flutter when I run my thumb over her forehead, and she yawns. “Yeah, Em, I feel the same way.”
“Does Gracie need to eat, or can I put her down?” Jace asks, and I hold an arm out to him.
“She needs Momma kisses, and then she can go down.” With Emily still in my lap, I take Grace from him and give her a big smooch on the face. “Good night, sweet girl. Momma will see you in two hours.”
Laughing, Jace leaves the room, returning a few minutes later to put Emily down too. He comes back into the room not much later with the baby monitor in his hand, dropping onto the bed next to me. Resting his head on my shoulder, he presses a kiss to my jaw and groans.
“Is it terrible that I hate putting them to bed?” he asks.
I look down at him, one brow raised. “Why?”
“I already miss them.”
“They really have you wrapped, huh?” I giggle.
“Completely.”
Jace switches on the television, and we both only make it about halfway through a rerun of Chicago PD before we’re out like a light, exhaustion taking over.
§
Stepping out of the shower, I feel like a new woman. Putting my hair up into a towel, I get dried off and dress in my favorite leggings and one of Jace’s shirts. The girls have their one month doctor’s appointment today, and I’m already wishing time would slow down. Jace goes back to work tomorrow too, and I’m not ready.
Having him home every day has been incredible. He’s helped me with every single feeding, changed diapers, and cooked dinner—or should I say ordered dinner. Like I knew he would be, he’s the best daddy in the entire world. I love him more than I did before Grace and Emily were born, and I know the bond he shares with them is a large part of it.
I love watching him with them.
He sings to them during bedtime. Tells them stories when they’re getting their bath.
More than once I’ve caught Jace just watching them, his eyes filled with so much love. I know it’s the exact look I have on my face when I’m with them.
So caught up in my thoughts, I realize I need to get moving or I won’t have enough time to make myself look somewhat presentable. Rummaging through the bathroom drawers, I pull out my hair dryer and a few clips, taking the time to blow out my hair. I can’t even remember the last time I did my hair, but Jace told me to take my time.
When my hair is dry, I run some product through it and stare back at my reflection. My body has changed, and while I’m still carrying a small amount of my baby weight, I don’t really care. My curves have filled out, my breasts larger than normal thanks to breastfeeding. My face has a natural glow to it, and I look happy and healthy.
Motherhood is its own brand of happy.
Walking out of the bathroom, I head to the kitchen to make lunch for Jace and me, deciding on something easy—grilled cheese and tomato soup. I’m flipping a second sandwich over when he comes walking into the room, Emily in one arm, Grace in his other.
“Wow, Stell. You look beautiful.”
“Thanks. I decid
ed to go for human today.”
Laughing, he comes to give me a kiss, and when I set the last grilled cheese on a plate, I take Grace from him, kissing her forehead.
“We need to eat and then get these cutie pies ready for their doctor’s appointment today.”
“Yeah, it’s at what, two thirty?” he asks.
Nodding, I hand him a plate with a sandwich and motion to the stove where the soup is still warming. I’m reaching into the fridge for some waters when Grace starts fussing. I check the time on the stove clock.
“Hungry, baby?” I say, sitting down on a stool so I can feed her, Grace latching on immediately. Both our girls have done well with it, and I never feel closer to them than when I’m breastfeeding them. It’s such an incredible bond.
“When she’s full, I’m gonna go take a shower okay? Mom called me while you were in the shower and invited us over for dinner, if you want?”
I nod at Jace, lifting my eyes from Grace. “Yeah. Make sure you ask if there’s anything we can bring.”
“Just her grandbabies, I’m sure.”
A few minutes later, Grace’s eyes flutter shut and she releases my nipple, so I pull my tank top back up, watching Jace rock Emily back and forth.
“If you bring her to our room, I can get them changed while you shower,” I offer, and he stands, leading the way into our bedroom.
After he lays Emily down on our bed, I hand him Grace so I can pick out their outfits. Deciding on their matching yellow-and-white polka-dot onesies with attached skirts, I stroll back into the bedroom, finding Jace kneeling in front of them.
“Thanks. You can go shower if you want.”
Jace gives me a fierce kiss, his hand gripping the back of my head, and when he pulls always, I run my tongue over my bottom lip.
“Give me ten minutes.”
I hear him open the dresser, no doubt to get clothes, so I go about changing the girls, a huge smile on my face when I see how freaking cute they are in their matching outfits. They both stretch their tiny legs out, and Emily lets out the sweetest-sounding cry.
“You look perfect,” I tell them, knowing they have no idea what I said.