Needing Nevaeh

by Terri Anne Browning

  And then I found out about what happened after I left her in New York, and I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t know exactly what had gone down—not until she told me months later—but I knew something had upset her. Someone scared her, took something from her they had no business taking, and I wanted to break his fucking neck.

  I couldn’t stay away after that. Couldn’t get past wanting to protect her from everything life could throw at her, my sweet little kitten who never should have to know the dangers of the outside world. As long as I could be beside her, I would find the strength to hold my feelings in check.

  Just until her eighteenth birthday.

  As I walked up the stairs to her bedroom, I felt my heart jackhammering in my chest. I was moments away from seeing her, and now I didn’t have to hold back. I could hold her, touch her, kiss and taste her all I wanted. I had two years of wanting, aching, and craving her to catch up on, and I was going to get my fill.

  Stopping outside her bedroom door, I inhaled deeply and slowly let it out as I lifted my hand and knocked.

  “Just a sec,” she called out, and I braced myself by putting my hands on either side of the doorframe.

  Closing my eyes, I waited, blocking out the sounds of the party from below so I could savor every moment of seeing her. I heard the doorknob turn and felt the air shift as it swung inward. Her soft gasp had my eyes snapping open, and I took in all of her slowly.

  Her feet were bare, as were her legs. I lifted my gaze hungrily, pausing at the hem of her dress that started mid-thigh. Up and up I went, past the flare of her hips, over her flat stomach and her perfect tits. Her hair fell over her left shoulder as she stood there with her hands lifted to fasten an earring in her right ear. There was no makeup to enhance her angel-like beauty, and even though she wasn’t wearing her glasses, her blue-gray eyes still had that animated kitten quality to them as she blinked at me in utter surprise.

  “Braxton,” she whispered, her chest heaving as she met my hungry gaze.

  “You’re so goddamn beautiful, baby,” I rasped, my voice full of the need that had been gnawing at me for years.

  Nevaeh instinctively took a step back, and then another, until I was inside her bedroom and was able to close the door. Then I grabbed her hips, my fingers biting desperately into her flesh through the material of her dress as I swung her around and pressed her against the door.

  “Brax,” she moaned, her back arching, pressing her chest into mine as I lowered my head slowly until my breath was bathing her plump lips. “Please.”

  “Tell me what you want, Kitten,” I commanded, brushing my nose over hers. “I need to hear you say it.”

  “Kiss me,” she begged. “Please, just one kiss. P-please.”

  Her voice broke on the last plea, and I couldn’t have held back another second even if our lives depended on it. Cupping the back of her skull in one hand, I tilted her head so I could take as much of her mouth as I wanted while my lips sealed to hers. Her fingers twisted in my black button-up, pulling me impossibly closer as she sighed into my mouth.

  I swallowed it, then thrust my tongue deep, tasting every inch of her sweetness. I felt more than heard her moan and pressed her harder against the door.

  When I lifted my head an indeterminate period later, we were both gasping for breath, and her mouth looked as though I’d ravished it. Panting heavily, she rubbed her thighs together unconsciously, and it took every ounce of self-control I had left not to carry her to her bed and spread her open for me so I could taste her pussy and relieve the ache she felt that was making her squirm against me.

  Instead, I cupped her chin and angled her head so she was forced to meet my gaze. “Happy birthday, Kitten.”

  Chapter 10

  Nevaeh

  I could still feel his lips imprinted on mine. Every time I licked my lips, I tasted him, no matter what I drank or ate.

  After that amazing, bone-melting kiss—the first kiss I should have had and not the one Dax had forced on me years before—he’d helped me zip up my dress then taken my hand. Kissing my knuckles, he’d opened the door he’d just had me pressed up against and walked me downstairs.

  My legs had still been shaky, so I was glad to have him to guide me because I knew I never would have made it down on my own. My family and loved ones surrounded us the instant we reached the first floor, and he stayed beside me over the next two hours. Putting drink after drink in my hand, feeding me from the plate Mom pushed into his hands at one point, loaded with all my favorite finger foods.

  I heard every word people said to me, but then I would look into Braxton’s hungry eyes, and I would forget what we were talking about. Sly grins were tossed our way, but I didn’t see a single one of them. My focus was drawn over and over again to the man at my side, and I couldn’t bring myself to care that everyone in my parents’ house was there to wish me a happy birthday.

  All I wanted was to be alone with Brax. I wished we were back in Virginia, just the two of us alone in the house, and that he would do more than just kiss me breathless. I wanted to know what the rest of him tasted like, not just his delicious mouth.

  And then Daddy put his arm around my shoulders, and I was pulled back into reality. I’d seen him walking around talking to all our guests, laughing and joking with everyone, and every time, a feeling of the most acute sadness would make me feel like I was drowning in unshed tears. Every time, Braxton would see them and rub his thumb over my bottom lip, whisper, “Kitten,” and make me forget about the pain wanting to consume me.

  But with Daddy now holding me against his side as he lifted his glass of clear soda to toast me, his firstborn and his second angel, the tears won out. Not even Braxton’s soothing touch could stop them from flooding down my face or the sob that was already bubbling in my chest from escaping.

  I turned my face into Daddy’s chest and inhaled deeply, memorizing his scent, what it felt like to have his arms around me, how safe and loved I was when he was this close, and I made a birthday wish for the first time since I was a little girl and still believed in wishes.

  I wish for thirty, forty… No! I wish for fifty more years of this.

  The sob finally escaped, and I amended my wish because I knew I was being too greedy.

  Please. Just one more year of this. That’s all I want. Just one more birthday of getting my daddy’s hugs and him whispering how proud he is of me and how much he loves me. One. More. Year.

  I felt his lips brushing over the top of my head and heard him begging me not to cry, and I quickly swallowed the rest of the sob trying to destroy this perfect night with him and the rest of my family. While I tried to control myself, I heard him whispering something to Braxton. Through my tears, I saw Brax nod.

  The next thing I knew, I was outside, the cool air kissing my skin and making the tears on my cheeks feel like ice as Braxton carried me to Aunt Emmie’s SUV. I was deposited in the back seat while Barrick and Mia got into the front, and Barrick started the vehicle.

  “I-I’m sorry,” I told them. “D-did I ruin the party?”

  “No, Kitten,” Braxton said as he pressed his lips to my temple and stroked his fingers through my tangled hair. “Your dad just wanted you to get some fresh air.”

  “But…” I glanced out the window of the SUV and felt my heart clench painfully as we drove away from my parents’ house. “Why are we leaving, then?”

  “It was either leave or start hiding bodies,” Barrick said from the driver’s seat as he carefully drove through my old neighborhood and then past Uncle Shane’s and Uncle Axton’s houses.

  I furrowed my brow, confused, and Mia, who was turned in the front passenger seat watching me with pained eyes, gave me a tiny smile. “Braxton was about to piss on you to mark his territory. Jagger and Cannon were being their normal selves, flirting with you. Nothing serious, but I feared for my brother’s life. Then Jordan was making comments about how hot you were now that you’re legal. And when you started crying, all three were trying to hug you. I
t was when Brax started literally growling that we figured it was time to put some distance between you and every other non-blood-related male in a fifty-mile radius. Momma agreed and threw Barrick the keys.”

  “Oh,” I murmured, sniffling indelicately.

  Even after our kiss earlier, it was hard to wrap my head around the change in Braxton’s and my relationship. I’d spent the past two years wanting him in a way I still didn’t fully understand, thinking he wouldn’t ever want me with the same desperation I felt. Now he was sitting in the back seat of a darkened SUV with me on his lap, his hands in my hair, and his nose pressed to my neck as he inhaled my scent like he’d been denied oxygen and I was the life-giving air he needed to survive.

  I’d been so happy and lost in the feeling of having Braxton’s complete attention that I hadn’t given anyone else much mind. Jagger and Cannon flirting with me was nothing unusual. I was used to the two of them making asses of themselves over Arella and me. I took Jordan about as seriously as I did those two clowns, which was not at all.

  Admittedly, I’d had a good time with Jordan that afternoon. He was funny, and when he wasn’t being a horndog, salivating over anything with a vagina and breasts, he was kind of sweet. He didn’t even blink when I bought an entire basket full of books in the bookstore, and he carried the three bags to his car like I hadn’t just made him spend three hundred dollars on books he would never have thought would make for enjoyable entertainment. But he didn’t call me a freak for liking to read things no one else would ever want to.

  But even as I was laughing with him while we drank milk shakes near the beach not far from my house, I’d been missing Braxton.

  “Where am I going, firecracker?” I heard Barrick ask Mia quietly.

  “Nevaeh, honey, do you want to go anywhere?” Reaching back, she clasped my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Or we could just drive around for a little while until you feel better and Brax has calmed down.”

  My skin erupted in goose bumps when Braxton gave my shoulder an openmouthed kiss. I arched my neck, giving him better access. I wanted more of those kinds of kisses all over my body. “Just drive,” I told her, and she quickly turned around, telling Barrick which way to turn so we could get on PCH.

  Pushing my hair out of his way, Braxton kissed a hot trail down my shoulder then over the part of my back that was exposed by my dress. I bit my lip, but it didn’t keep the mewling sounds I was helpless to hold in from escaping.

  “You’re killing me, Kitten,” he murmured against the shell of my ear. “Feel what you do to me?”

  I squirmed on his lap, feeling the hard evidence of his need for me pulsing against my thigh. I wrapped my arms around his neck and laid my head on his shoulder, looking up at him through my lashes, and I shifted my hips until he was nestled against my ass through his jeans.

  “Fuck,” he groaned, and I watched his beautiful, masculine mouth form the word.

  Suddenly, the music was turned on, the volume up as loud as it would go. The bass of the song vibrated through the entire vehicle, making the windows shake, but I was thankful for the loudness to drown out the sounds that came from my throat when Braxton turned me on his lap so I was straddling him. When I sat on his lap like that, my dress rode up, exposing my panties to him as he cupped my ass and pressed my core down onto his hard-on.

  Neither of us moved, just stared at each other as I sat there, my panties soaked through as he let me feel his reaction to me. I should have been embarrassed, letting him look at me, feel how wet I was for him while Mia and Barrick sat so close. But it wasn’t like they’d never made out in front of me before.

  His fingers clenched and released, massaging my flesh through my panties and making me so wet, my thighs became saturated with it.

  I began to tremble with all the suppressed need that had been building deep inside me, and my fingers shook as I started unbuttoning his shirt, needing to touch his skin. He groaned when I had it undone and pulled free from his jeans, his chest and hard stomach on full display to my gaze. It was dark out and the moon was hiding behind a bank of clouds, but streetlights and oncoming cars’ headlights gave me plenty of light to see him.

  I memorized the feel of his skin, the sharp ridges and angles of his tight abs. His body heat burned my fingertips. I’d seen the ink on his chest so often, I knew exactly where every piece of artwork was, and I traced each one with my fingernails.

  One of his hands left my ass and caught mine, guiding it down to the buckle of his belt. Our gazes locked as I undid it along with the snap of his jeans. I carefully lowered the zipper. But when my fingers found the band of his boxer briefs, I hesitated, nervousness hitting me for the first time.

  I wanted to touch that part of him, wanted to know what it felt like—what it would taste like. This was one of those many, many firsts I’d been dreaming of having with Braxton.

  Sensing my hesitation, he cupped my face in both his hands, rubbing his thumbs over my lips as his dark eyes asked me what was wrong. Swallowing hard, I shook my head, unable to find the words to tell him what was in my head. And my heart.

  Pulling my head down to his, he brushed his lips over my neck on his way to my ear. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m rushing you, and there’s no need for that,” he said just loud enough for me to hear him over the music. “We have all the time in the world, Kitten. Forever.”

  I closed my eyes as I let that one word float over my entire body, soothing something I didn’t know needed to be soothed. With one hand, he cupped the back of my head, the other rubbing down my spine. It didn’t calm the raging need pulsing through me, making my panties and thighs wetter and wetter with every breath I took. It only made my heart ache more because in that moment, I felt cherished and precious to him.

  Chapter 11

  Nevaeh

  It was late by the time Barrick pulled Aunt Emmie’s SUV into my parents’ driveway. Braxton opened the door and stepped out before reaching in to help me down. As soon as my feet were on the ground, I wrapped my arms around his waist and breathed in deeply.

  Combing his fingers through my hair, he tilted my head back and kissed the tip of my nose. “I’ll meet you at the airport.”

  “Okay,” I whispered, already missing him. PopPop’s jet had an early takeoff time scheduled, so it was only going to be a few hours until I saw him again, but I didn’t want to leave him.

  With another kiss, he walked me up to the porch and waited until I unlocked the door before turning to go. Swallowing hard, I slowly walked through the house to the kitchen to get a bottle of water before going to bed.

  Pushing open the door, I stopped when I saw Daddy sitting at the kitchen table. I stopped mid-step and sucked in a deep breath. His long, dark hair was sprinkled with strands of gray, his blue-gray eyes full of worry.

  Giving me a grim smile, he lifted his mug of tea. “Want some? It’s ginger to help with my nausea.”

  I tried to smile back, but from the way his lips pressed together, I didn’t think I pulled it off. “Sure,” I choked out.

  Standing, he walked to the stove where the teakettle was resting. Placing a tea bag in a mug, he added the hot water and grabbed the honey and a spoon on his way back to the table where I’d sat down.

  Placing everything in front of me, he retook his seat. I added the honey, keeping my gaze on my mug so I didn’t have to look at him, knowing if I did, I would start crying all over again.

  “It’s okay to be scared, Nevaeh. It’s even okay to be angry.”

  I lifted startled eyes and finally looked at him. “Who would I be angry at?”

  “Me,” he said with a shrug. “I did this. It’s my fault I’m sick right now. You’re allowed to be pissed at me for doing this to you and your mom.”

  Reaching out, I wrapped my fingers around his hand, shivering when I felt how cold it was. “Daddy, I’m not mad. Not at you, never you. I know you had a drinking problem before you met Mom. You never talk about why you became an alcoholic, and I won’t make you t
ell me, but I realize it must have been bad.”

  His jaw clenched, and I saw his Adam’s apple bob several times before he nodded. “Yeah, sweetheart. It was bad. I won’t put those nightmares in your head, but the booze kept me numb. I liked that feeling a hell of a lot. Until the drinking cost me your mom. She’s why I stopped, why I haven’t picked up a bottle in over twenty years.” He closed his eyes and lowered his head. “And now, the consequences of all that heavy drinking could take everything away.”

  “Daddy—”

  His eyes snapped open, and when I saw the tears in his eyes, my own burned and filled. “It’s okay to be scared and angry, because I’m terrified and so fucking pissed at myself, I can’t breathe at times. I’m sorry, honey. So damn sorry that I might be taken away from you and your mother. I love you. More than anything, I love you.”

  “I-I love you too, Daddy,” I told him around the lump that was choking me. “And you’re right, I am scared. Nothing has ever scared me as much as the thought of losing you.”

  “I’m going to do everything I can not to let that happen, Nev.” Tugging on my hand, he pulled me up and onto his lap. Like this, I felt like I was a little girl again, but having Daddy hold me and press a kiss to my temple was the best feeling in the world. My tears spilled over my lashes, and he wiped them away. “Leaving you and our family behind is the last thing I want to do. But…” I fought back a sob, already knowing what he was going to say. “But we have to face reality, sweetheart. This operation might not work. I could reject the liver, or it could fail, or any number of things could go wrong.”

  “I know,” I whispered.

  “If any of those things happens and I’m no longer here, I need you to know how much I love you and your brother and sisters. How proud you’ve made me.” Tears were pouring out of his eyes now, but he gave me a brave smile. “Nothing has made me happier than getting to be your dad. You and your mom have given me an amazing life. The things that came before you and her…they no longer matter. I’ve had perfection with my family, and I’ll never take any of those years for granted.”