Needing Nevaeh

by Terri Anne Browning

  “Nevaeh,” she pleaded. “I didn’t tell you because of your dad. You’ve been so upset that I was afraid—”

  “Yeah. Great excuse. Use Daddy’s illness to hide the fact that you were helping my boyfriend plan his fucking wedding.” My laugh was cold, without an ounce of humor. “Thanks for that. Good to know where your loyalties lie.” Walking around them, I headed for the waiting room.

  “Nev, I’m so sorry,” she called after me, tears thickening her voice.

  I jerked around to face her. “Take your apology and go fuck yourself, Mia. You and me? We are no longer family. From here on out, stay the hell away from me.”

  “Nev—” she sobbed, holding out her hands toward me.

  I stepped back. “You cry so prettily, Mia. But your tears don’t affect me. I’m done with you.” I looked at Braxton. His jaw was clenched hard, his face tense and pale. In that moment, I loved and hated him. But I hated myself more. I’d let him break my heart. I’d given him that power over me. And when he gave me that bullshit explanation about the picture of him, Darcy, and his parents, I’d believed him without question. Really, I had no one else to blame but myself. “Both of you.”

  Lyric stepped between us, his hands raised like a referee calling for a time-out. “Okay, let’s all just calm down for a second here. You two are hard to keep up with at times. So, Mia helped Braxton here pick out his wedding invitations? But Braxton is Nevaeh’s boyfriend?”

  “Don’t act cute, Lyric,” Mia snapped at him. “Yes, to both. We had to find out if Darcy was actually pregnant or not…”

  I felt all the blood drain from my face at the same time Mia trailed off and then pressed her lips together. Barrick muttered something to her I didn’t hear, but I was more focused on his cousin.

  “You’re going to be a father?” I choked out, turning eyes that burned to Braxton.

  “No!” He lifted his hands pleadingly as he took a step toward me, but I quickly backed up, putting more distance between us. “Kitten, I swear to you, I’m not the father.”

  Shaking my head, I kept walking backward, my tears blinding me. “I don’t believe you. How could you keep any of this from me? I thought you loved me.”

  “I do,” he rasped. “Baby, I love you more than anyone. You are my other half, the fucking reason I even get out of bed in the mornings. Please, just listen to me. I can explain everything if you will give me five minutes.”

  “Why?” I cried. “So you can lie to me more? Feed me more bullshit? You promised no secrets, that we would tell each other everything, and yet you kept something as major as this from me. You lied.”

  “Kitten, you were so distraught over your dad, I didn’t want to add more stress on you. I was never going to marry Darcy. It was just an idea Lyla came up with to find out if Darcy was pregnant like she was telling everyone.” I made a distressed sound, causing Lyric to move closer to me protectively. “She is, but it’s not mine. I swear on everything I love and hold dear, I’m not the father of her child. Fuck, baby, I hadn’t even seen her in years until the night of my parents’ party.”

  “Then who the hell is the father?” I demanded, unsure if I believed him or not.

  “I don’t know yet. I’ve had a tail on her for the past week to see what he can find out about her.” He moved closer, but I grabbed Lyric’s arm and used him as a human shield to keep Braxton away. I could barely see him over my cousin’s shoulder, but I was sure everyone in the hospital heard his feral growl, and for a moment, I actually worried about Lyric’s safety. “Goddamn it, Nevaeh, let me touch you. I can’t stand this distance between us. I’m not marrying Darcy. I’m not the father of her baby. You are the only woman I love, and right now, you are ripping my fucking heart out.”

  The pain in his voice only made what I was feeling that much more intense, but I refused to give in.

  “Having Darcy show up at our door, finding out you were keeping shit from me, that tore my heart out, Braxton!” I yelled at him over Lyric.

  “Hey, hey, hey!” I stiffened at the sound of Mom’s voice and clutched even tighter at my shield. “Why are you screaming out here?”

  I turned to face her. When I saw her ashen face and the tears on her cheeks, my knees went weak. “How is he?” I asked, my breath coming out in gasps.

  Her eyes went to everyone before they landed on me, and something softened in her tense face. “He’s in pain but good. He told me to tell you how much he loves you.” Then she looked at everyone else again. “Mia, I think you should take your friends back to your house. This isn’t the time for whatever is going on with you guys, and I won’t have Nevaeh more upset than she already is. That is only going to stress Drake out more.”

  “I agree,” Uncle Nik announced, coming out of the men’s room. The look on his face told me he must have heard everything. There was something dark in his expression as he looked at his daughter. “After the hell you’ve put me through for keeping everything from you two years ago, I’m surprised you would keep secrets from anyone, Mia. Least of all from Nevaeh.”

  “This isn’t like that at all,” she told him with a stubborn lift of her chin. “I just wanted to protect Nevaeh.”

  “Yeah, and that was what I was doing with you, but that whole situation ruined our entire relationship, didn’t it?” He walked around Braxton and Lyric and put his arm around my shoulders. “Now, whatever you have to say to each other can and will wait until later, Mia. For now, take your ass home and stay there.”

  Chapter 20

  Nevaeh

  No one but Mom was allowed to see Daddy for the rest of the night. The doctor wanted him to rest, and depending on his pain level the next day, we would get to see him then.

  Mom and Aunt Harper both decided to stay, but they wanted us kids to go home and get some rest. Luca took Violet and Mason home, and one of Aunt Emmie’s security team drove me home with Bliss, Heavenleigh, and Damien. But it was Jordan who drove Arella home. I didn’t even want to know what was going on there. She was too young, and he was nothing but a player. My sister was going to get her heart broken by him, but I didn’t have the energy to argue with her over it.

  At home, I made a snack for everyone and then went to take a shower. I felt drained, but when I lay down a short while later, I couldn’t get my brain to turn off, so I just stared sightlessly at my ceiling in my darkened bedroom. The house felt too quiet, empty without Mom and Daddy there.

  My phone went off, and I reached out blindly to grab it off the side table. Lifting it, I saw it was a text from Braxton and debated the pros and cons of throwing my phone against the wall. But in the end, I just dropped the damn thing back onto the nightstand because it was my only method of immediate contact with Mom. If something happened to Daddy in the middle of the night and she couldn’t reach me…

  I heard the door open, and I lifted my head off my pillow to find four shadows sneaking in. “Come on,” I told them and pulled back my comforter. Patting the bed beside me, I waited until all four of my siblings climbed in before covering us all up.

  Damien was the one snuggled up against me, with my three sisters squished up behind him. It was only a queen bed, not made for five people, least of all my squirmy as hell siblings. The mattress protested when Bliss and Heavenleigh twisted and turned until they found a comfortable position.

  Despite feeling like hell, I found myself smiling and kissed my baby brother’s brow.

  “Daddy’s really going to be okay…right, Nevi?” I wasn’t surprised by the question, but that it was Arella asking it made my heart ache. She was always so confident, so strong like Mom, that I sometimes forgot she could be just as vulnerable as me.

  Reaching across the other three, I caught her hand and linked our fingers together. “Yeah, he’s going to be fine,” I told her. The truth was I didn’t know, but my heart wouldn’t let me tell her anything but what she—what we all—really needed to hear.

  “PopPop said Dad loves Mom so much, there was no way he’d die,” Damien
said, then yawned loudly. “PopPop said Dad would just make a deal with the man on the other side to come back, and if that didn’t work, he’d fight his way back to Mom. Because nothing can keep them apart. Not even death.”

  “Sounds like something Daddy would do,” Heavenleigh said with a choked laugh.

  “I want that,” Arella said wistfully in the dark.

  “What?” Bliss asked, sounding confused.

  “Someone who loves me so much, he’d fight anything to hold on to me. Even death or God or whatever else stands in his way.” She sighed heavily, and I heard her shifting. “I want someone to love me like Daddy loves Mom. Endlessly. Deathlessly.”

  “Me too,” I whispered.

  I’d thought for an all too brief time I’d found someone who loved me just like that. Someone who would put me above everything and everyone else. Who might spend his life cherishing me and our love. Someone who actually needed me.

  But then he showed me differently.

  A stray tear leaked from the corner of my eye, and I quickly scrubbed it away. I’d thought I was all cried out, but two more tears fell over my lashes. My heart ached, wanting something I knew I would probably never get.

  Beside me, Damien began to snore, making my sisters and me laugh quietly. He could sleep anywhere, during anything, and for that, I was kind of jealous of the little brat.

  One by one, the others followed Damien into slumber until it was just me awake. Feeling restless, I carefully untangled myself from my brother and tiptoed to the door. Downstairs, I made a pot of coffee and then opened the fridge. It was stocked full of groceries, and I started taking out the fresh herbs and vegetables I would need for homemade chicken noodle soup.

  I wasn’t sure what Daddy’s diet would consist of the next few days, but I did know he loved the soup Mom made. She’d taught my sisters and me how to make it when we were little. I would make a big pot of it and then take some to the hospital later for both Daddy and Uncle Shane.

  After putting a pot full of a whole chicken with garlic and herbs on the stove to start to simmer, I began chopping carrots and celery to go in it. I was so focused on what I was doing that when I heard a firm tap on the back door, I squealed in fright and nicked my thumb with the knife.

  “Sonofabitch,” I cried, grabbing for a paper towel even before walking over to the back door.

  It was very early in the morning, just after three, but I wasn’t worried it could be one of the paparazzi or even a deranged fan of my dad’s at the door. For one, we lived in a secure gated community. No one got in without getting by the four guards that manned the gates at all times.

  But when I opened the door, I quickly took two steps back when I saw who stood on the other side. “Go away,” I snapped at Braxton.

  He crossed his arms over his massive chest, his dark eyes hooded as he glared down at me. “What the hell are you doing answering the door without even asking who it is? It’s three in the morning. I could have been anyone here to hurt you. Damn it, Nevaeh! You have no awareness of your own personal safety.”

  “I knew it wasn’t anyone here to hurt me, asshole. I figured it was one of my aunts or uncles checking on us. Or someone from Seller’s security, making sure I was okay since the kitchen light was on.” Pissed, I started to shut the door in his face, but he caught it before it could close and pushed his way into the house.

  His gaze went to the stove where I was cooking, then back to the paper towel I had pressed to my thumb. “What happened?” he growled when he saw the blood staining the paper towel. He reached out to grasp my hand, but I quickly moved away, going to the sink to rinse the small wound.

  “You scared me, and I cut myself,” I told him over my shoulder.

  “Fuck. I’m sorry, Kitten.” I felt his heat right behind me a second before he was clutching my arm and lifting my hand to inspect the injury. It was barely anything and it sure as hell wouldn’t need stitches, but the way he was looking at it would make anyone think I was about to lose an appendage or something. “Does it hurt?”

  “It just stings a little. I’m fine, Brax. Stop fussing. I’ll live.” Pulling my hand away, I walked over to the drawer where Mom kept a small first aid box. After putting a smear of antibiotic ointment on the cut, I pulled out a bandage.

  Braxton took it from me and opened it, then carefully wrapped my thumb. When he was done, he lifted my hand and kissed the bandage. He closed his eyes, and his nostrils flared as he inhaled and exhaled deeply. I wanted to look away, but my eyes reverted to him every time I tried. His handsome face twisted, making him look like he was in agony, and my heart clenched at the sight.

  “Why are you here?” I choked out after nearly a full minute had passed.

  “I couldn’t sleep without you,” he murmured, and his eyes finally opened. “I only meant to check the outside of the house to make sure you were safe, but then I saw the kitchen light on and smelled something cooking.”

  “I’m making homemade chicken noodle soup for Daddy and Uncle Shane,” I told him and moved back to the stove and chopping board. I finished cutting up the vegetables and tossed them into the pot with the chicken. Returning the lid to the pot, I set a two-hour timer and turned back to face the man who was making Mom’s huge kitchen feel claustrophobic.

  “It smells delicious already.”

  “Thanks,” I muttered lamely. Walking over to the coffeepot, I pulled down two mugs from the cabinet above it and filled one before handing it to him and then making a cup for myself. I should have been demanding he leave, but even though my heart was aching and I was pissed as hell at him, part of me didn’t want him to go.

  He shifted, and I saw him grimace. I knew his leg was hurting him, so I moved to the kitchen table and sat, knowing he wouldn’t unless I did first. As expected, he took the seat beside me, and I heard his relieved exhale.

  “Did you bring your pain meds?”

  “No, but Mia remembered to pack them when she grabbed my things for me.” I flinched at the sound of her name, and he muttered a curse. “We really were just trying to protect you, baby.”

  “By keeping me in the dark about what was going on with you?” Tears filled my eyes, and I tried to blink them back, but they fell anyway. “Do you really have so little respect for me that you don’t even want to tell me major things that happen in your life?”

  “Fuck, Nevaeh,” he said with a groan and reached for my hands. Lifting them, he kissed each palm. “Of course I respect you. I love you.”

  “I really don’t know what to believe anymore. You swore it was all just in your parents’ heads and that you would never marry Darcy. You promised no secrets. Then she showed up at the house with an actual wedding invitation, saying you and Mia helped her mom and yours pick it out.” I shook my head, causing more tears to spill over my lashes. “I was blindsided, Braxton. I had Mom on the phone, telling me about Daddy. And I still don’t remember what she said because I was so focused on Darcy, who was tearing my heart out of my chest. She said…” I sucked in a deep breath. “She said she didn’t mind if you kept me. That every guy has a mistress.”

  He muttered something vicious and cupped my face in both his hands. “Listen to me, baby. Just listen. Yes, Mia and Lyla went with me to my parents’ house. My mom was home and there with Darcy’s mom, Julia. They were looking at wedding invitations and other shit, and my first instinct was to tell them to pack all of it up and toss it in the trash. But I had to find out if Darcy was pregnant.”

  Remembering Mia saying Darcy was pregnant hurt all over again. I closed my eyes and tried to pull away from him, but he kept his hands on my cheeks and leaned in closer, brushing his lips over the tip of my nose. “Yes, she is pregnant, but I swear I haven’t touched her. We hadn’t seen each other in years, baby. That’s the God’s honest truth. From the day I first set eyes on you, no one else existed for me. No one.”

  I wanted to believe him, but I couldn’t allow myself to trust him. I’d given in easily the last time, and I refused to
make the same mistake again.

  “I know I broke my promise to you about no secrets, and I’m sorry. But you were so torn up over Drake being sick, and I didn’t want to add more stress to you.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “Once I knew what was going on with Darcy and how I figured into her plans, I was going to tell you everything, baby, I swear.”

  Clenching my eyes shut, I sucked in a deep breath and slowly released it. Scooting my chair back, I moved so he wasn’t able to touch me and stood. “If you want to stay, you can take the couch. I would say you could have my bed since there is no way I can sleep, but Arella and the others are sound asleep in my room.”

  “Baby, tell me you believe me,” he commanded in a voice raspy with emotion.

  “I don’t know what to believe right now,” I told him honestly. “And even if I did believe you, you broke your promise. How do I know you won’t do it again and again? I thought that what we had was special. That you loved me the same way I love you, but you’ve shown me just how wrong I was.”

  “No! I’m sorry I broke my promise. So fucking sorry. If I could go back and change it, I would. But I can’t.” He stood and reached for me, but when I flinched, his face paled and he dropped his hands. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone, Nevaeh. Baby, please. I need you.”

  A sad laugh escaped me, and yet another tear spilled down my cheek. “You don’t need me, Brax. If nothing else, I do know that much.”

  “You don’t know anything right now,” he exploded angrily, frustration and devastation pouring off him in waves. Scrubbing his hands over his scruffy jaw, he walked across the kitchen then jerked around to face me. “This whole thing with your dad has gotten your head turned upside down. You’re hurt and pissed, but you’re not thinking straight.”

  “Stop using my dad’s illness as an excuse for everything!” I yelled at him. “You fucked up, Braxton. You kept this from me. You broke my heart. None of this has to do with Daddy being sick or having surgery or anything else. It’s on you and no one else.”