Hell's Bells

by K. B. Draper

  “What the shit are you doin’?”

  “Holy fuck,” I grabbed my chest to keep my heart from escaping.

  “You tryin’ to steal my rig?” A head poked out of the cab’s curtains.

  “Borrowing.” I corrected.

  “The hell you are,” he said, crawling out and into the front cab. FYI, he wasn’t a small guy. He and his breath filled the front of the cab. Including some of the space I was currently occupying. PS, his breath wasn’t minty fresh. Actually there wasn’t anything about him that could be associated with the word “fresh.” Think more along the lines of a two-day-old gas station burrito left in a car. In the Sahara. With the windows rolled up.

  “Listen, I just need to borrow your truck for a quick trip down the road.” I took in the America, NRA, veteran theme of the cab. “I’m part of a secret military operation, and we have a terrorist attack threatening good American citizens on the other side of town.” I grabbed the black veteran’s cap from the dash and handed it to him. “You with me, solider?”

  Dude looked down at the hat and back up at me. “Yeah, I have bone spurs.” He handed the hat back to me. “And this is my brother’s rig. He pays me to take his runs so he can spend the weekend with his girlfriend and his wife doesn’t find out.”

  I sighed. “Fine. What’ll it take for you to drive this rig across town?”

  He looked at my chest. “Hundred bucks and I get to touch your boobs.”

  “Fifty and you get to touch a boob,” I countered.

  “Deal,” he said, starting to reach out.

  I no-goed it, bending his hand back just enough to have him squirming and tapping out with the other. “Okay, okay.”

  “Drive first. Boob later.”

  He shook his wrist out. “I like it rough.”

  I smiled. “Lucky you, rough is kind of my specialty.” I pulled the door release, dropped to the ground, and slammed the door behind me. He slid over into the driver’s seat and rolled down the window. “I’m Big D, by the way.”

  “Of course you are.”

  He wiggled his eyebrows. “Lead the way, mama.”

  I started off, backpedaling to look back up at him. “You might see something big and kind of black, swirling, but just ignore it.”

  “Sweet cheeks, I’d drive into a tornado for a go at those boobs.”

  “I—you—yeah, I have nothing. Just follow me.”

  Chapter 13

  I punched in Ashlyn’s number as we drove. She was running and slightly breathless when she picked up. “You okay?”

  “Fine. You guys?”

  “He’s at the edge of town. First row of houses. I heard a thunderous roar in the background. “Make that the second row. We’re pushing everyone toward the east side of town trying to get them out of his direct path. We can’t do much more than that right now.”

  I leaned forward to see out of Woody’s windshield. Blackness ate the sky. “Michael close?”

  “He just landed. He, Samuel, and Ariel are picking up the elderly and kids and flying them to safety.”

  “Okay, tell him to come to me. Then I need everyone to stay away.”

  She wanted to ask questions, but said instead, “Please don’t get yourself killed. I love you.”

  “Not planning on it. And love ya back.”

  Michael went wings down in the road fifty yards ahead of me. I pulled over alongside him, jumping out to wave Big D and his rig in behind me. “Take Woody, Apoc, Six, and this dude.” I threw a thumb over my shoulder toward Big D, who was hanging out the door looking at the scene playing out before him. Houses were imploding. Wood, roofs, and cars were being thrown into the air before crashing into the earth only to be consumed seconds later. Electric poles were falling, sparking and lighting into flame. Water hydrants were ripped from the ground, plumes of water shooting forty feet into the air. And Famine took it all in.

  “What the shit?” Big D asked.

  “Get them out of here.” I pulled Big D the rest of the way out of his cab. “Go with him.”

  “Hey, what about my boob action?”

  I crawled into the cab and leaned back out the window. “Michael, give this dude fifty bucks and let him touch your boob.” Michael was leaning in the back window, checking on Apoc, and yet even with the chaos whipping around us I heard his head hit the door frame.

  “Fifty bucks and what?” Michael asked, rubbing the back of his head.

  “Magic Mike meet Big D. Big D meet your boob for the evening.”

  “Oh hell no.” Big D double-fisted his hips. “I said your boob.”

  “And I said a boob; you should always listen to the fine print.” I gave him a wink before ducking back in the cab and firing up the engine. I gave them both a two-finger salute before dropping the truck into reverse, popping the clutch and straight up killing the engine. I leaned out the window again. “Apparently, my badass exit scenes need a little work.” I got double nods of agreement. “Take two.”

  This time I nailed the dismount if you don’t take off points for the row of mailboxes I took out. I eventually fifteen-point turned it, and I’m proud to state no lawn art was lost in the making of this scene.

  I pushed ahead, trying to drive several streets in front of the destruction before cutting back to park the rig at the far edge of the school, which was in the direct path of Famine. It wasn’t a big parking lot, only a short L-shape that bent left around the school, but I hoped it was big enough for what I had in mind. I waited there, facing the darkness head-on, able now to see the eye of the storm. A man, or at least the animated bones of one, rode atop a black horse. The blackness I could see now wasn’t coming from him, but it was him. As the earth disappeared, he absorbed it like a freakin’ mega Dyson vacuum. Dirt, grass, trees, asphalt, house whatever was in his way, he devoured.

  I watched as he pulled the reins of his horse, stopping them both at the far edge of the parking lot. The ground rumbled in chorus with the darkness falling around him as if it was fading into the earth, leaving just the horse and rider illuminated by the parking lot lights.

  “If he says get in my belly, I’m going to freakin’ lose my shit,” I said to no one.

  “Hello, demon hunter. Fancy meeting you here,” Famine said, though I didn’t see his lips move. Could be because he didn’t have any, but also could be that he’d preset his channel to my brain waves as the voice seemed to be coming from inside my own ear holes.

  “Hey, Famine,” I said. “I met your brother earlier, and to be honest I can’t say I’m a fan.”

  He laughed. “That’s too bad. He was rather fond of you. He went on and on, excited to have you for dinner. To feast on your flesh, to have your heart for dessert, and to use your bones as toothpicks.”

  “You might want to reconsider. I’ve heard more than once that I tend to cause indigestion.”

  “I think we’re willing to take our chances.”

  “Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I punched the gas, released the clutch, and killed it. “Sorry, hold on. Epic kickass scene to recommence in three.” I jammed the clutch in, dropped the gear back into neutral. “Two.” And started the engine. “One.”

  I got the truck up to forty in the short distance, shortened even more by Famine who was back in black suck-up-the-Earth mode. I didn’t know if forty was fast enough, but we were going to have to go with it. I jerked the wheel hard to the right. It took a second for speed and gravity to do their thing, which happened to be the exact amount of time I needed to regret my recent life choices, starting with not putting on my seat belt.

  My head bounced off the driver’s-side door frame, the top of the cab, and then the steering wheel, and that was all before the cab slammed into the ground. My head was always an overachiever. Our momentum took us another twenty yards on our side. The trip would have been a little longer, but it was interrupted by the concrete base of a light pole. The semi groaned as it came to rest or that could’ve been me; it was hard to decipher through the ringing
in my ears. I tried to sit up, but my body vetoed the plan. I contemplated just staying put and going with crossing my fingers and hoping for the best, but the sky darkening above me was the motivational poster my muscles needed, and I got my head and ass upright. Go team.

  I used the steering wheel and the edge of the seat as a step stool, getting me just high enough to pull the top half of my body out of the passenger side window. Luckily, it had shattered on impact because honestly I wasn’t in the mood to deal with an intact one. Sometimes it’s the small things.

  Two hands grabbed my wrists and began to pull. “You’re seriously ridiculous,” Ashlyn said. “I can’t leave you alone for five minutes.”

  “Should’ve read my warning label,” I mumbled as I wormed the bottom half of my body the rest of the way out of the window.

  “I’m going to warning label something,” she said, as she pulled me into her lap.

  “Sounds kinky.” I gave her a quick kiss. “I’m in, but I thought I told you to stay away.”

  “I thought I told you not to kill yourself?”

  “Right. Okay, how about we run now and argue this out later?” I asked, already pulling her to her feet.

  “Works for me.”

  Though I’d jackknifed the truck sideways, causing her to flip on her side, the collision with the light pole base had spun the ass back where it came from. Despite my ribs arguing otherwise, that had been a good thing as it gave us seventy feet of running surface and seventy feet to think up another genius plan. Honestly, I was kind of iffy about the last one.

  I jumped the divide between cab and trailer, reaching back to catch Ashlyn as she followed. I pushed her ahead of me, checking my rear view as we ran. The sheet metal of the cab began to bend and buckle as the blackness overcame it. I didn’t see, but heard as it ripped from the frame. A side mirror caught me in the middle of my back, causing me to stumble a step. Ashlyn looked back, her eyes going wide. I’d like to say I have that effect on her, but I thought it might be the fact that the truck was being destroyed faster than the seven-layer bean dip at a family reunion. And if that wasn’t enough visual for ya, we were now a good six wheels shy of an eighteen-wheeler.

  Samuel and Ariel broke through the edge of the darkness, their white wings barely visible in the black. I turned back just in time to catch the top half of a still hot exhaust pipe. “Ouch, hot. Hot. Hot.” I threw it aside as I caught Ariel’s eye and pointed at Ashlyn. She nodded and dove. “Babe, keep running and then jump. Run and jump!” I repeated as Ashlyn was quickly nearing the end of our very short road.

  Ariel scooped Ashlyn from the air, catching her under the arms and behind the knees and flying her off and away from danger. Sammy buzzed me as the black began nipping at my heels. “I got ya,” he yelled as I jumped.

  Technically he did have me. And not to be judgy or ungrateful, but when I jumped Sammy hooked me hang-glider style under my armpits. Once we were in the clear, I looked down at my dangling feet then up at him, which was hard to do when my shoulders were touching my earlobes, causing what I was sure to be one mega-double chin. “In the future, if we ever find ourselves in a similar situation, do you think maybe, and I don’t mean to sound unappreciative, but just maybe you can save my ass and leave some of my dignity intact?”

  Sammy chuckled. “I’ll try.”

  “Cool. Thanks.”

  Sammy went wheels down alongside Ashlyn and Ariel at the far end of the parking lot where I had started this party. “Please tell me there’s more to your plan than semi-truck hors d’oeuvres,” Ashlyn said, as we watched the trailer’s rear bumper disappear into the inky abyss.

  “Pshht.” I said. “Have a little faith.”

  We watched as a light pole disappeared as well as three rows of parking spaces, the “Welcome to Sullivan High School Home of the Fighting Tigers sign,” and the entire west wing.

  “My faith is wavering,” Ashlyn offered.

  We all took a step back as the tower of the blackest suckiest suck in the history of suck, continued to, well … suck. “Just have to give it a minute.”

  We gave it a minute. Then another one. And another just for good measure.

  “AJ?” Ashlyn asked.

  “Wait for it.”

  We waited as we took another step back. “Okay, maybe I mistakenly, overly glass half-filled this situation.” Another step back put our heels against the curb.

  “Do you happen to have a Plan B?” Ashlyn asked.

  “Yes.”

  Ashlyn looked at me after my reflective hesitation. “Care to share?”

  “Actually, I was considering opening it up to the committee and taking suggestions.”

  “Running kind of sounds like a solid plan,” Sammy said, the edge of the blackness only fifty yards away now.

  “I could get behind that idea,” Ashlyn said, as Famine Slurpee strawed the last row of tire stops between him and us.

  “All in favor?” I asked.

  Three ayes.

  “Aye. Motion approved,” I said, turning Ashlyn and ushering her swiftly stage right.

  We all pulled up two steps later as a cough-burp combo erupted from the bowels of the darkness. Literally, you know the kind where little chunks of your last meal rise up and tap your tonsils. Another gut rumble hit the airwaves, louder this time, causing the darkness around Famine to shimmer as if he had a bad connection. In the short glitches of blackness, horse and rider, blackness, horse and rider, I started to believe maybe someone’s tum-tum was upset. I also might have smiled (totally did).

  Then the black dropped completely and so did my grin as Famine sat before us. He growled. Or gagged. Hard to tell. He pitched forward, and his horse reared back on his hindlegs, throwing Famine back in the saddle. When the horse’s hooves hit the earth again, it shook the houses a block away and Famine lifted his head. A tar-like substance ran from both sides of his mouth. “What did you—” His body spasmed, his head flew back, and jerked again. I’d been to enough two-for-one tequila shot specials to know what would happen next. “Run!”

  Chapter 14

  Michael, Sammy, and Ariel did their presto-forget-o trick on the townsfolk who had been uprooted from their homes. Hazmat teams were on the other side of town taking charge of contamination and containment efforts, while law enforcement and factory representatives asked questions. Tornado was currently number one on the leader board as the explanation for the destruction, and a close second was terrorist act. Last place was that Big D’s terrorists created the tornado theory. We left on that note.

  I’d wanted to drive through the night, but after our little tête-à-tête with Famine, the entire crew was exhausted and a little banged up. We went another thirty minutes down the road before finding a small two-level hotel. We always tried to avoid the big chain hotels—too many people, and there might have been a small incident in a Hampton Inn in Walla Walla that resulted in a blacklist of sorts. To be fair, I had no idea that chocolate pudding clogged bathtubs. And sinks. And apparently was a bitch to clean out of air conditioner vents. But now I do. Knowledge is power.

  I went first in the small shower. After Ashlyn did her own rinse and repeat, she found me setting in one of the wire-framed chairs that was bolted to the floor of our room’s patio. It was the most uncomfortable thing on which I’d ever placed my ass. And let’s be honest, that was really saying something.

  Ashlyn released the towel that she’d wrapped around her head, laying it over the back of the other chair to dry. She ran her fingers through her damp hair a couple of times to release any tangles. “I’m going to take a wild guess and say you’re not going to come in and get any sleep, are you?”

  I took her hand and kissed it. “No, you go. I’m going to take the first watch.”

  “You think there will be more tonight?” Though there wasn’t a lot of “tonight” left.

  “I don’t know. But we can’t leave it to chance.”

  “Danny and Mia will call us if they see anything stirring,” she said
.

  “I know, but I’d feel better if I stayed up.”

  Ashlyn and I’d done this conversational circle a number of times. Each go-around was shorter and shorter. She moved to kneel in front of me. “Wake me up in a couple of hours and we’ll switch.”

  I nodded, though we both knew I’d give her more than a couple of hours. That was, if there was more than a couple of hours.

  She rolled her eyes. “You’re ridiculous.”

  “You’re usually naked and panting when you say that.”

  She pushed up on her toes to kiss me. “You’re a complicated mix of ridiculous.”

  I held her there with her face in my hands. “I love you,” I whispered.

  “I love you, too,” she replied, turning slightly to give my palm a kiss.

  “I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”

  She chuckled. “You fight demons, have the horsemen of the apocalypse after you—”

  “Minus one,” I said.

  “Maybe minus one,” she conceded, “and you’re on Lucifer’s most wanted list.”

  I traced the edge of her lips with my thumb. “That’s just my day job.”

  She rolled her eyes before closing them and laying her head on my lap. I ran my fingers through her still damp hair, listening as her heart and breaths slowed. I was tired and I had the supernatural equivalent of a vat of Red Bull running through my veins. Ashlyn had to be exhausted. I waited for her sleep to deepen and her arms to eventually go slack around my waist before I picked her up and carried her to the bed. She didn’t resist. Instead, she snuggled up against me, her breaths tickling the side of my neck, causing my heart to do the hokey pokey with all my parts in and shaking all about.

  Back out on the patio I stared off into the distance, which honestly wasn’t that far since we faced the back of a Dollar General. That scene became uninteresting real quick so I hopped the short railing and landed in the landscaping, which consisted of two seen-better-days shrubs. I slipped through relatively unscathed except for an unknown object sticking to the treads of my boot. Two of the four lights were out on the back side of the hotel, which normally wouldn’t be an issue for me to see what was trying to catch a ride, but I had my eyes pressed shut. “Please don’t be a condom. Please don’t be a condom,” I begged as I switched from hopping around on one foot to feverishly scrapping it against the ground like a readying bull.