Matters of the Heart

by Heather M Green

  "Really," she drawled. "Whose rules?"

  "Probably yours, for starters," I said. "We didn't get to see Three Arch Rocks and that's something you can't miss."

  "I can see it some other time," she tried again.

  "You have somewhere you need to be, San Antonio? Some hot date or something?" I glanced over at her.

  "Yes." She rolled her eyes. "No. I just-"

  "You just need to enjoy this ride," I interrupted. "And prepare to be awed by what you are about to see." I needed to remove the hurt from her voice and see her beautiful smile. "I'll even turn on this new beach CD I dug up somewhere. I think you'll like it." I reached for the stereo.

  Sophie laughed and pushed my hand away. "You lost your CD listening privileges."

  "But how will I ever educate myself on the fine art of country music?" Despair laced my voice, but I grinned in triumph at her laugh.

  "You should have thought about that before you made fun of my music."

  "You are absolutely right, little lady," I drawled. "Can y'all ever forgive a backward city boy?"

  "Only if you promise to give my music another try. And only if you promise to never talk like that a..." her voice trailed off. "James," she breathed, staring out the window at the ocean.

  "May I present the Three Arch Rocks." I gestured out to sea like a tour guide. I laughed when she bounced lightly in her seat in excitement. "Don't jump out," I told her. "I'll park right here."

  As soon as the car stopped, Sophie jumped out and headed for the trail that led to the beach. She raised a hand to shield her eyes from the sun and turned back to me with a childlike grin on her face. She waved for me to hurry and continued to the sand where she slipped her sandals off and practically skipped to the water.

  My heart twisted in my chest at her happiness. It was contagious. I felt a smile grow on my face in direct proportion to the feeling welling inside. I had thought a lot about what my father said earlier this morning about the life I was choosing. I hadn't realized how lonely and incomplete I was until Sophie came along and completed me. I wanted to be the one to bring the smile to her beautiful face and put that sparkle in her eyes. I wanted to introduce her to all the wonders she had never experienced before. I wanted to have her look at me with the same longing she looked at the beach. I wanted her to love me as desperately as I was coming to love her. I rubbed my chest above my heart where an aching need started. I would put it all out there. I would tell her what she wanted to know about my past. I would let go and free myself from the memories and heartache and fill up the empty space with her.

  I spread a blanket on the sand and sat down to watch her comb the beach and glance at the occasional bird that passed overhead. I grinned when her head jerked up and her eyes squinted and roved the rocks a half mile out at a sea lion’s call. I laughed at her startled squeal when a wave lapped up and over her feet. I knew I was grinning like a fool, but I couldn't help it.

  I hopped up from the blanket and walked toward her. When I was a couple feet away, I held out my hand to her. "Walk with me?" She smiled up at me and placed her hand in mine.

  "The Meares Lighthouse is up ahead," I pointed out to her as we walked.

  She sighed. "I love lighthouses. It's hard to describe. Just like the way I feel about the ocean. Maybe it's that they lead boats away from danger. Maybe it's that they are a beacon on a stormy sea. Maybe it's that darkness can't exist where there is even a little light. Or maybe it's that where there is a lighthouse, there is an ocean. And I've already told you how I feel about the ocean."

  I squeezed her hand. "I love how passionate you are about life. Whether it's the ocean or physical therapy or your family." My voice sounded strained and my heart was threatening to burst from my chest. And not in a good way. It was time. I knew I needed to tell her, but terror gripped my heart.

  After a few minutes of walking in silence, Sophie asked, "What's wrong, James?"

  Might as well get it over with. "For years, I’ve locked my heart up. First with Nicole and then with my career." She glanced at me questioningly. "You remember a couple months back when you asked about my biggest regret from my past?" I gave a rueful laugh. "How could you forget, right?" I stopped and turned to face her. "Have I apologized enough for that?" I rubbed my thumb across the back of her hand.

  "Who is Nicole?" she asked, curiosity and confusion warring with each other in her eyes. Or maybe it was wariness.

  I took a deep breath. "I was married once," I began.

  Coming Soon...

  About the Author

  Heather graduated with a Bachelor's degree in Elementary Education with a Special Education emphasis from Weber State University. She writes whenever she can squeeze time in between taxiing five children around and carving wooden key chains for souvenir shops. She lives in Ogden, UT with her husband and children, two dogs, one goldfish, one bird, and a snake. This is her debut novel.