When I got inside, I found the stairs off from the kitchen, tripping and stumbling my way up them, figuring there had to be a vacant bathroom up there. I came to the huge loft at the top of the stairs, where people were basically having sex in front of everyone and others were running around like crazy people.
What the hell am I doing here? I couldn’t help but wonder.
There were too many doors down the hallway for me to guess which one was the bathroom. The first one on the right, I figured, had to be a bedroom, so I went for the one across the hall instead. Of course, it was a bedroom… that was occupied. The naked couple startled, the girl on top spinning around, giving me a great show of her voluptuous assets. I apologized profusely after gagging and almost losing it all over the white carpet.
“Can we help you?” the guy on bottom asked, but I was far too dizzy to pay attention.
“Bathroom,” I somehow croaked but backed away from the room, closing the door before they could give me an answer.
Someone gripping my shoulders from behind made me gasp, but I couldn’t really spin around to see who it was without vomiting all over them. The hands left my shoulders but one grasped my arm.
I glanced up at Cade as he pulled me down the hall until we came to the bathroom. “You okay?” he asked, sounding all concerned when he opened the door for me, but I couldn’t believe the concern after having seen him all over Sydney.
With my best glower, I yanked my arm from his grip before slamming the door in his face. I stared at the toilet for a long minute, trying to decide if I was actually going to lose it, or if I could get it under control. The immediate danger of puking had subsided, so I took all precautions to avoid it. A splash of cool water to my face and a few deep breaths helped me gain a hint of control.
I leaned against the wall and slid to the floor, curling up in a ball. The night had turned out far worse than I ever imagined it could. My grand plans of get things back on track with Cade were shot to hell when he made out with Sydney, of all people. I let myself cry for a minute, only to get it out, but that was it.
When I started thinking rationally about the whole situation, I was aware my buzz was wearing off for good. There was no way I could really be mad at him. I had told him we couldn’t be anything and I was done with him. He obviously listened and moved on. Just because I was thinking rationally didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. The funny thing was, I didn’t want to think rationally, didn’t want be sober. I wanted to be buzzed again, wanted to drink myself into oblivion—if there was such a thing. I did not want to deal with him.
With the tears wiped away, I got myself up, splashed some more water on my face, and opened the door. Cade leaned against the wall across the hall with his arms crossed over his chest. He looked at me from under his long lashes, as if he were waiting for something. Did he have to look so damn amazing?
“You okay?” he asked again, pushing off the wall and coming within a foot of my personal space.
I could smell him—the amazing scent that was only his, but there was sweet perfume mixed with it. Her lingering odor kept me from leaning in to him. Crossing my arms again was the only thing to be done. “I’m great.” I smiled sweetly—or bared my teeth, same thing. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to get back to the party.”
I almost got away with walking around him, since he stared for a second, but then he snatched my hand, pulling me to a stop. The feel of his hand in mine felt way too good. Betraying myself was not an option—allowing him to see I was hurting inside, that I cared at all wasn’t allowed.
“Don’t do that.” With a pained look, he shook his head. “Please don’t.”
“Do what, Cade?” I asked, voice void of emotion, my smile gone.
“Don’t brush it off like that, not when I know you’re pissed.” He shook his head some more, moving closer so he was blocking my escape route. “Talk to me.”
“I’m not brushing it off, and I’m not pissed. I was shocked to see you with her, especially since you said you don’t like her like that, but it is what it is.” I shrugged. Agony clouded his gaze. “It isn’t as if we’re a thing, which I made clear the other day, so you can make out with whomever you want.” My attempt at a smile was poor. I didn’t want to talk about it anymore—I only wanted another drink, but he wouldn’t move.
He held my gaze for a long second, as if he was trying to find something there. “Why did you come tonight?” I gave him my best, “are you kidding me” look. “You hate parties. I don’t think you’ve ever drank before, and yet, you’re here… drinking? I don’t get it.”
“Really? You’re asking why I’m here?” I about shrieked, my pissed-off-ness seeping through. “Um, this is a party being thrown to celebrate the concert I basically put together, so I think I have every right to be here.”
The look he wore told me my real answer meant a lot to him, but I wasn’t going to give it to him. “Stop being a smart-ass and answer the damn question.”
“Why?” My nostrils flared, my eyes widening as I clenched my hands into fists at my sides. “Because it would have been better if I didn’t know you were kissing her? Did I ruin your plans for the night by showing up? If that’s the case, then don’t mind me. By all means, enjoy yourself.”
“If you think that’s true, then you don’t know me.” He got in my face, eyes becoming thin slits. “I don’t give a shit about getting caught. I care that I did it—that I hurt you in the process.”
“If you didn’t want to do it, you wouldn’t have. I do know you, Cade.”
“I was pissed, okay?” He threw his arms out, making me flinch. “How am I supposed to feel after the girl I want to be with tells me she doesn’t want to be with me? After I’ve put all this effort into showing her how much she means to me?” Arms dropping, his shoulders slumped. “Sydney doesn’t mean shit. She was there and I felt like trying to forget you for a couple hours. But I can’t! It’s impossible because you’re embedded in my skin.” With a groan, he rubbed his hands over his face. “I didn’t do it to hurt you. I would never do anything to purposely hurt you.”
My back was pressed against the wall, and he caged me in with a hand on either side of my head. It would have been so easy to lean into him, to take comfort in his arms, but I couldn’t give in so easy. “I came here to find you… so I could apologize.”
Eyes screwed shut, jaw twitching, he turned his head away. When he looked back at me, his eyes were full of unhindered anguish that took my breath away. “Please don’t tell me I screwed this up… that my stupid mistake cost me you.”
“You had your hands in her hair, Cade.” He snapped back as if I had smacked him. “That may seem silly, but it matters. So I’m going to go get a little more drunk and see if I can’t get myself to throw up the second time around.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Cade
She left me standing there, staring after her. It seemed there was nothing I could do to make this better. I was a piece of shit. One week. I had waited one week before trying to get in another girl’s pants because the one I wanted had hurt my feelings and pride. Things may have been ruined with the one girl I wanted, all because I wanted to lose myself in some meaningless sex. It made me sick because it was the part of me that reminded me of my dad. I didn’t want to be that guy—the one who got with every girl who threw themselves at them.
Her comment about getting more drunk hit me after a few minutes of standing there. I was pretty sure she had never drank before in her life, and the fact she was here drinking pissed me off. That wasn’t her. She wasn’t the girl who got plastered at parties and let a bunch of dudes take advantage of her. She could be mad at me, even hate me, but I couldn’t let her get hurt because she was angry.
With the hopes of easily finding her in the packed house, I rushed downstairs. Searching through the living room where everyone still danced, I couldn’t see her. Though Sydney was there air humping some other guy, so I made a beeline in the opposite direction, reliev
ed she was able to move on quickly.
When I got to the kitchen, she was standing at the island but not alone. Jake from the band stood across from her, pouring shots of blueberry vodka. My blood boiled while I watched Ava toss one of them back, and his gaze met mine. At first his eyes widened in surprise, but then they hardened with anger, his jaw tightening. So he knew. Great.
He tossed back his shot, then filled both their glasses again. Again, Ava had every right to be mad at me, but I was not going to let this dickweed get her drunk. When she went to take the shot, I walked up behind her and snatched it out of her hand.
“Hey,” she complained, turning a bleary glare on me.
I held it out of her reach while she tried grabbing for it. Jake looked between us as if he wasn’t sure whether he should go or stay. I was too focused on Ava to give a shit what he did. Grabbing her arm, I pulled her so close our noses almost bumped. “What are you doing, Ava?”
“I’m enjoying myself.” She smiled, snatching the drink from my hand and downing it. It surprised me how easily she was able to take a shot of straight vodka, which led to worry because that meant she had a lot more in her system than she should.
“Yeah, man,” Jake chimed in with a hard glare. “I wouldn’t let her have more than she can handle. Besides, I don’t think you have the right to say shit about what she does.” The smirk he sent Ava lit my entire body on fire.
I was about to say something, but Ava turned her glare on him. At least there was that. “You saw them, but you didn’t tell me?” she choked out with wide eyes. He just shrugged. “Hmm, well you two can sit here and hash this out while I go enjoy myself.” She reached across the island, snatched the bottle from Jake, then turned to leave the kitchen. She muttered, “Assholes,” under her breath, making me chuckle.
“Ava,” Jake called out, moving around the counter. It took all my control not to deck him when he grabbed her hand to stop her. There was so much fire in her eyes I was surprised it didn’t make him squirm where he stood. “I’m sorry. That was a dick move. I should have told you. Anyway, I have to help pack everything up, so you stay here and talk this out. Yeah?” He looked down at her with raised eyebrows. She ground her teeth together, then looked back at me with a reproachful glare. With a smirk, he finally let go of her hand. My anger eased up infinitesimally. “Have some fun but don’t go overboard.”
“Thanks, Jake. And you’re forgiven.” Up on her toes, she pecked him on the cheek, causing a growl to rumble in my chest.
I didn’t have any right to get mad at her for flirting with someone else, but she was drunk. It sure as hell wasn’t easy to sit back and watch it happen. Just as it probably hadn’t been easy for her to see me all over Sydney. God, I was the lowest of scum. Jake left the kitchen with an amused smile, and Ava beamed after him. My jaw was clenched so hard, it was a surprise my teeth didn’t break.
The bottle remained in her hand, but I planned to get ahold of it. She ignored me completely as she came to the island, unscrewed the lid on the bottle, and poured another shot. As she lifted it to her mouth, I snatched it out of her hand again. Her exasperated look was priceless.
“Why are you doing this?” I demanded, keeping the shot out of her reach. If she was going to act like an idiot, I wanted a damn good explanation for it.
“I’m doing it to have some fun,” she told me, her voice slurring as she grabbed it from me and tossed it back. After a loud cough, she blinked slow, before saying, “I’m tired of everyone saying I need to let loose more, to stop being so anal about my schedules. Blah, blah, blah. I’m gonna show them I can have fun, I can let loose.”
“You can have fun without drinking, you know.”
“This is the way I want to do it, and I don’t need a babysitter.”
“You do when you’re acting like a child.” In her face again, I grabbed the bottle from her.
That was three shots now on top of whatever she had before she found me. That amount of alcohol was going to make her very unhappy in the next hour or so. She gave me another glare, but there wasn’t much heat in it. Her eyes were glassy, and she was already swaying a bit. This wasn’t going to be pretty. With a shrug, she tilted her head from side to side, then yanked the bottle back from me and poured another.
“Ava,” I protested, grabbing her arm. “You need to stop.”
“Actually, I’m a big girl,” she slurred, before downing the shot. Yeah… not pretty at all. “I may not have ever drank before, but I’m going to enjoy it. Besides, you’re not my dad, and you’re not my boyfriend, so why don’t you go look after Sydney instead? I’m sure she would loooove the company.”
I sucked in a sharp breath but didn’t argue. I had no right to care, but it didn’t stop me from doing so. No matter how bad I wanted to, I couldn't undo hurting her. If she was going to be reckless, I might as well keep an eye on her. “You go ahead and have your fun, and I’ll keep an eye on you. I would hate for something to happen to you the first time you decided to have a drink. Sound fair?”
She studied me for a long minute, as if she was considering it. Or maybe she hadn’t even heard me. I wasn’t sure, until she leaned her body into mine with a crooked smile. My body tensed up. I had to remind myself she was drunk. Like, play it through my head over and over. Her soft curves pressed against all the right spots. It was hard to ignore. I was no saint, as we’ve already established.
“Or you could have a drink too, and we can have fun together.” The sultry smile had my blood heating to a boil.
My eyes went a little unfocused and my mouth hung open for a second, but I shook my head to clear the fog from it. “One of us has to be able to drive tonight, and you’re already out for the count.”
Her pout was actually cute, but she didn’t push it. Thank God. “Have it your way.” The bottle was replaced on the counter, earning a sigh from me. After leaning in to peck me on the cheek, she grabbed my hand. “Let’s go have fun, then.”
She dragged my all-too-willing body into the living room where the party was still going full tilt. Flashing, swirling, and blinking lights replaced the normal ones, like we were at a rave or something. I hated raves. People bounced around, rubbing against each other. It was awful. That was, until Ava pulled me into the middle of the room and started dancing in front of me. I stood stiff for a minute as she moved her hips, until I finally loosened up and moved with her.
How well she danced surprised the heck out of me. I knew she could dance, as she had proven at her concert, but I had no idea she knew how to dance like this. Even drunk, as I was sure she was way past that stage by now, she could move. We danced until we were both dripping sweat.
She stumbled a bit when I led her away from the dancing. I hoped it had worn off some of the alcohol and that she had a good dinner to soak some of it up. She had to be on the edge of passing out, but for some reason she grabbed another drink from a tray being passed around.
In order to avoid another argument, I kept from grabbing the drink from her as I should have. The best I could do was watch while she walked around the house, talking and laughing with her friends. It was beyond me how she was still standing straight, but it was refreshing to witness her having fun.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
My attention remained on her while I talked with some buddies from school. Kelsey and some of the other girls from her dance group surrounded her. She had only been sipping at the last drink, but halfway through it, she started moving weird, swaying side to side. The guys around me were laughing at something, but I couldn’t pay attention. When she started to tip sideways, I was at her side, wrapping an arm around her to hold her up.
“You okay, Ava?” Kelsey asked with a concerned smile, and all the other girls stared at her.
With a slow blink, she nodded, but then her face turned gray. She slumped against me, and I held on tighter, clutching her to my side. “I’m gonna take her home,” I announced to the group.
My heart pounded while she tripped and stumbled thr
ough the house, but I held her tight. That last drink was a huge mistake. Now she was going to be sick and hate life. A gurgling noise escaped her throat before she stumbled again and almost fell flat on her face. I scooped her up in my arms, cradling her to my chest. She didn’t argue or fuss, but nuzzled up to me, resting her head on my shoulder. Even drunk, she was perfectly beautiful—I couldn’t stop myself from kissing her damp forehead.
“I’m going to get you home,” I assured her.
Within minutes, I had her out the door and tucked in my car. Her car was down the road a ways, so I figured I would help her come get it in the morning. As I buckled her, she came to a bit, her blurry gaze pleading with mine. “Please, not home. Can’t see me drunk.” Her voice was barely a whisper, but I got the gist of it.
“Don’t worry, I’ll figure something out,” I told her, brushing the hair from her face. Her skin was clammy, her face pale. I could only hope she could handle a drive anywhere.
She sighed dreamily, closing her eyes again and settling back in the seat before I shut the door. I rubbed a hand over my face, not sure what the hell I would do with her. There was one place I could take her, but I was sure to regret it later on. It wasn’t like I could take her back to my house. My mom would kill me. I got my phone out, seeing it was two in the morning but hoping he was still awake, wherever he was. I sent a quick text.
You at the flat?
He responded immediately.
No. At the house.
What’s up?
There was no way I could be mad he was staying the night with my mom when I had bigger fish to fry. If he wasn’t at his flat, I had a place to take Ava for the night.
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