When he was done, we stared at each other for a long minute. He spoke before I was able to thank him for sharing with me. “Look, I know you might still need to talk about things, to sort everything out or whatever, but I want us to be together, Ava.” He just put it out there, making himself even more vulnerable than he already was. Hell, I felt vulnerable with it out there like that.
My palms began sweating, my heart rate kicked up a notch. I didn’t know what to say—well, not true. I had a resounding “hell, yes” in the back of my throat, but a big lump seemed to be in its way. I had to think about this, didn’t I? What if he got tired of me or tired of my schedule and decided Sydney was the easier bet? My silence must have worried him, because his brow creased, lips pulling down at the corners.
“I know I hurt you,” he whispered, his eyes shifting. “I promise I will never do anything so idiotic again. I just… I want you to be mine. I know part of you being mad last week was because I was being vague and dancing around labeling us. That was because I hate labels. I just want to be. I want you to know I’m yours and you're mine.”
He paused, still watching me closely. Everything he was saying was perfect. Amazing. My heart felt all tight and swollen, and my stomach full of flutters. I wanted to trust he wouldn’t hurt me again, to tell him yes, but I was speechless and could not find my voice to get out the answer I wanted to give him.
“You’re amazing, Ava. Everything about you is. Everything you do—your dancing, your intelligence, your care. I love it all. I wouldn’t change anything about you. Even your adorable schedules and punctuality are part of you. I want it all. Can we have that? Can we just be? Together?”
My bottom lip pinched between my fingers, I considered him. It wasn’t as if I was going to say no, because, come on, I had wanted this for the last two years. I could get over the Sydney crap because I was the one he left with and I was the one here with him now. But I was stuck on the L-word he’d thrown in there. My mind went haywire for a brief moment, thinking, well if he “loves” something about me or all those things about me, doesn’t that mean he loves me?
Whoa.
Big thought.
Like mind-blowing.
My mouth went dry, my palms slick with sweat as he stared deep into my eyes, still waiting for an answer. All I could do was nod because the words were still stuck in my throat. “Yeah?” His voice cracked as he raised his eyebrows. With a timid smile, I nodded in a vigorous fashion.
That sexy, crooked smile crept over his lips, his eyes lighting up to a bright green before he leaned forward. My heart skipped a beat, anticipating what was coming. I expected him to crush his mouth to mine, but instead, he lightly kissed the corners of my mouth before brushing his lips over mine, causing a sigh to escape me.
It was so sweetly wonderful, causing heat to coarse through my body. He ran his hands up my arms, over my neck, and then into my hair, leaving a long trail of flames and chilly bumps in their wake. Deepening the kiss, he gripped my curls as his tongue delved into my mouth. I was a giant pile of mush, letting him run the show, because, let’s face it, I still had no idea what I was doing. All I could do was grip his shirt in my hands and hold on for dear life.
Our kiss lasted for minutes or hours, I wasn’t sure. It was this frenzy that made my heart race and my stomach fill with butterflies, until he jerked back at the sound of a throat being cleared. What? With my mind all fuzzy and still hurting a little, it took me longer than it should have for me to focus. His hands and lips were gone, his gaze latched onto mine, eyes wide.
In a slow fashion, I lowered my hands before peeking over his shoulder at a handsome man in a dark gray suit who stood next to Cade’s glaring mom right inside the doorway, which was still open. Oh. My. God. My mouth popped open, blood rushed up my neck and over my cheeks. My eyes about popped out of my head before I looked back at Cade who had his clenched shut while taking deep breaths.
When he finally opened his eyes, they were on fire, but there was an apology in their depths. The awkward air became thicker with every silent second. I didn’t dare look at his parents again. We had been so caught up in our moment, we hadn’t even heard them come inside. I wanted to hide my face in my hands, or smother it in his chest, but he reached out to help me down from the island before turning around to meet his parents’ probing gazes. He stood in front of me, blocking them from my view, but I peeked around him, too curious to stay hidden.
The guy had to be Cade’s dad, even though they looked nothing alike. He wore an amused smirk, which was a little weird but more comforting than the furious glare Cade’s mom was giving me. Cade rubbed a hand over his neck with a sigh. “You’re here early,” he stated, not sounding nearly as uncomfortable as I felt, as if he’d been caught in a compromising position such as this before.
Me, I had never, ever been caught kissing someone by parents. The thought of this being a recurrence for Cade had my stomach knotting up, so I shoved it to the recesses of my mind for later examination. I had told him I was in, for us to just be us, the past couldn't be dwelled on.
Continuing to smirk, Darrel wrapped an arm around Cade’s mom’s shoulders. “We thought we’d take you out for some breakfast.”
“You used his apartment to sleep with her?” his mom snarled right after Darrel's statement, sneering at me, making the need to disappear, to completely blend in with the island, overwhelming. I wasn’t a skank. I mean, we were probably headed in that direction right before they showed up, but it was my first time. Telling them this seemed like a really bad idea.
“Leslie,” Darrel chided, but the leer remained.
“Seriously, Mom,” Cade sounded bored, but his body tensed. “We were out late, and I needed a place for her to sleep. I figured you wouldn’t appreciate me bringing her back to the house.”
“They’re just kids, Leslie,” Darrel supplied. “You remember being kids, don’t you?” She only glowered, crossing her arms over her chest. This was so awkward, especially since I still hadn’t said anything, but I didn’t know what to say to make it better. “So how about breakfast?” His dad added with a smile and a wink at me.
Cade didn’t appear to appreciate that, his hands fisting at his sides. I wasn’t sure if I liked his dad or not. From what Cade had told me about him, I wasn’t sure I could like him. But if his parents were trying to work things out, I figured I should try to get to know him before making a judgment call. Cade reached for me, grabbing my hand and pulling me to his side.
“I actually need to get her home,” he told his parents.
With that, he led us out the door in a hurry after a quick introduction to Darrel. The awkwardness could have followed us out the door, but I was still floating on air from the legitimacy of our relationship. He ended up taking me to get breakfast and coffee before taking me to my car. He wanted to keep hanging out, but I figured we could both use some more sleep, and I wasn’t sure how my parents would react if he showed up at the house with me.
Chapter Thirty
The next two weeks were perfect in every way. We spent every spare second together, meeting every morning before class, walking together between classes, being all over each other during lunch. The Monday after the party, we got the “it’s about time” speeches from Rabia and Mase and even an agreeing nod from Kenton, who was still hanging around, which made me happy for my bestie.
I was all flutters all the time, looking forward to every kiss, every touch. We didn’t talk anymore about the shitty stuff—not of the crap that happened to me, or about Sydney, but I was okay with it, even though she was being even more hateful, having heard about Cade and me being official. I kind of wanted to flaunt it in her face to keep her from ever touching him again, but whatev.
During the second week of our romance, an unknown number began calling me at least four times a day, never saying anything when I answered, not even when I cussed them out. I failed to mention this to Cade, to anyone really. There was no need to raise a fuss over something so insign
ificant, especially when I was still floating on clouds.
The end of the school year was right around the corner, which meant loads of homework. I was studying nonstop to make sure I passed my college courses. Mom and Dad had been going over all the financials, trying to get me set for Vanderbilt. I still hadn’t said a word to Cade about any of it, partly because I was a huge coward, but also because I was secretly leaning toward U of P. It was only our second week of being “official,” so we didn’t talk about our future, but it was always on my mind.
Obviously, my mood was brighter. Everyone noticed. Mom and Dad seemed to be happy with the new development, even Kai commented on my change in mood. Of course, Dad told him about Cade, so he made all kinds of brotherly threats in his emails, but I didn’t mind them.
The only person who didn’t share her opinion was Mia. In fact, other than driving her to school, I barely saw her. She did her usual disappearing act when we would get home from school, but something seemed off. Since her behavior wasn’t too odd, I wrote it off as her being caught up with getting ready to graduate. Even if she didn’t have plans for after graduation yet, that didn’t mean she didn’t have the same school load as I did. I got so caught up in my own stuff, I was ashamed to say she fell to the back of my mind.
With prom drawing near, I had to stay after school for long meetings, and Cade worked most nights, but he didn’t complain. It wasn’t so bad because his boss was cool, letting me hang out at the station everyday after I was done with the prom committee. With the amount of homework I had to do, I usually sat in the front area, which was packed with CDs and old records, while he was either in the same room sorting music or in the sound room helping Rick.
I enjoyed it. Just being. Exactly as he wanted it. It was fun getting to know that part of his life too—how passionate he was about music. When he would sort music, he would go on and on about the bands he loved, whether it be new up-and-coming ones or oldies, while I sat and did AP chem homework.
The Friday of our second week together, I got to his work a little later than usual, since Trent had thrown another hissy fit, causing a ruckus with the committee, which I had to smooth over. My irritability and grumpiness levels were through the roof, but I was looking forward to seeing Cade again.
The moment I got to the station, he barely said a word to me before disappearing into the sound room. I tried to brush his greeting off, or lack there of, thinking maybe they had a lot to do or something, but I couldn’t get over it. I sat there staring at my laptop, wondering if I had done something. Was he getting mad again at how busy I was? There wasn’t much I could do about it. I was already spending every spare second I had with him.
My annoyance grew as the evening went on and he never appeared. It was almost eleven, and he hadn’t come out once to talk to me or give me a quick kiss as he usually did. I wasn’t being needy or anything—I only wished he had told me if he didn’t want me there. I gathered my things, deciding I would take off before he was done. He could call me after if he wanted to talk about whatever was wrong.
I got out the door and started putting my stuff in my car. “Ava.” My name was yelled from the building. Obviously, it was Cade, but I didn’t look up or answer. I was pretty pissed now and tired, so I didn’t want to fight or talk. I only wanted to get home and go to sleep. As I adjusted my bag and pile of books, I felt him behind me. “Ava,” he said again, grabbing my arm and spinning me around to face him.
With a frustrated breath, I met his hard gaze. “What, Cade?” I demanded, yanking my arm from his grip and shoving my curls from my face.
Jaw tightened, his hands fisting at his sides. “Why did you leave?”
“Because you obviously didn’t want me here,” I snapped. Okay, so I was super pissed at the whole situation. “I’m totally fine with that, but you could have said something before I came down here.” With a lift of my chin, I crossed my arms over my chest.
“I did want you here.” Not believing him one bit, I raised my eyebrows. He watched me for a long minute before sighing heavily. “I’m sorry. This has nothing to do with you—well, it kind of does… but… can we just go somewhere to talk?”
My heart squeezed, but I worked up an incredulous look. Was he already breaking this off? Had he decided he did want to be with Sydney instead of me? I had to shake the thought off—he couldn’t see how much it would hurt if he had. “I’m exhausted, Cade. I had a rough day. I just want to get home.”
“Can I come there, then?” he pleaded. “I really need to talk to you. I know it’s late. It won’t take long.”
A knot grew in my stomach while I studied him. It could have been a bad day for him, as it had been for me. But I still didn’t want him to come to my house only to break up with me. “We can talk here,” I suggested, pointing at the ground.
“No.” He shook his head, then grabbed both my hands. It took a lot to keep my sigh in, but I prevailed… sort of. “I want to spend time with you away from here and we can talk. I don’t want to be here.”
It appeared he genuinely wanted to spend time with me, but that only confused me. If he wanted to spend time with me, he could have. Ugh. I was going to give in. My parents were going to love this. “Fine.” I sighed and he smirked a little, showing the first signs of the lighthearted Cade I loved. Yeah, that’s right. I said it. Just… not to him yet.
“I’ll follow you over there.” He kissed my forehead before going to his car.
I stared for a minute, wishing he had given me a real kiss, one of those sexy ones that made my heart race and my mind fog. But no, I got a tender kiss on the forehead. Alert the town priest—he may fall off his chair. Again, ugh.
I led the way to my house, all the while wondering what the heck was bothering him so much. If it was about me, he would have said something already, wouldn’t he? He never had a problem telling me when I was doing something he didn’t like. I was hoping he didn’t want to break up because it had only been two weeks! I still had so much to experience with him. Plus, I really didn’t want him to see me beg, which was a huge possibility.
Before we made things official, I considered him one of my best friends, but there was so much I hadn’t known about him that I now did. His care and compassion went so far beyond anything I expected from any guy, and I wasn’t ready to lose it. I wasn’t ready to experience a broken heart.
When we pulled up to my house, I parked in the driveway and sat in the car for a second to gather myself. The whole drive I had a long conversation with myself about how I would not stoop to begging if he broke this off. No matter how bad it hurt, it would not happen! So, maybe I was a little crazy.
My door opened while I gathered my things from the passenger seat. “Need some help?” he asked, holding the door for me as I shifted to get out. He grabbed my stack of books without waiting for an answer.
With a mumbled “Thanks,” I led the way to my front door. Inside, a low murmur came from the living room. I was hoping my parents were asleep but saw they weren’t when we got to the kitchen. They sat on the couch, deep in conversation with the TV on a low volume. My mom’s legs were draped over Dad’s lap.
“Hey,” I said, making both their gazes rise to us as if they just realized we were there.
“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Hart,” Cade addressed them all formal like as he usually did. Usually I thought it was super cute, but then his jaw twitched and his eyes were hard. Something was so off. Even if I wasn’t going to like it, I needed to know what.
My parents’ eyes shifted between us for an awkward moment until both sets rested on me. “It’s a bit late, don’t you think, Ava?” Dad clipped out. He was still getting over the thought of me having a boyfriend, even if it was someone he really liked.
“Jim,” Mom chided, making me smile.
“It’s Friday, Dad,” I told him with raised eyebrows.
Dad’s jaw tightened, but Mom patted his shoulder. My mom was awesome.
“Yeah, sorry it’s so late,” Cade chimed in, c
oming back from wherever he’d been. “I won’t stay long.”
Dad gave him a “damn right, you won’t” look, which had me groaning. “Okay, so we’ll be up in my room,” I told them then turned to Cade. “Want something to drink?”
“Some water would be good.” He smirked, but it didn’t reach his eyes, which shoved me over the edge into completely pissed zone.
I grabbed two waters before heading for the stairs. “Keep the door open,” Dad yelled behind us, making me shake my head. It wasn’t as if I was a bad kid or we were going to fool around while they were sitting downstairs. Ha, not happening.
While Cade came over to put the books down on my desk, I hung my bag on the hook next to it. He stood close, and I went to move around him, but he caged me in against the desk with a hand resting on either side of me. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to my forehead again, lingered there, breathing deep. When he leaned back, I stared like an idiot while he gazed into my eyes. A hand brushed over my cheek, making it tingle.
“I’m not breaking up with you,” he said, his tone soft, his thumb tracing little circles on my cheek. My mouth popped open, and I was about to say something, but he shook his head. “Tell your brain to shut up for a minute. I’m not giving you up, but I do have some serious stuff to talk to you about.”
This earned my best glare. “So you’re going to tell me why I just sat at your work for three hours while you basically ignored me?”
His brow furrowed, and his thumb stopped moving. “I’m sorry.” He shook his head again. “I’ve had a lot on my mind and a lot to talk to you about, but I wasn’t sure how to say it. So, yes, I was kind of avoiding you, because I didn’t want to say it wrong and have you hate me or something.”
My stomach clenched. He wasn’t making me feel any better. I actually felt worse and seriously thought about asking him to leave so I could think clearly. He sighed, watching me closely, probably reading me clear as day. Giving me some breathing space, he started pacing in front of me.
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