His Carnal Need (Xylon Warriors 2)

by Ruth D. Kerce

  “No, of course not. He’d never hurt me. You know that.” A strange question for him to ask.

  Erik raked a hand through his hair and grumbled. “Yeah, I suppose. Did he touch you?”

  “Just my breast.” Clarity struck. Erik hadn’t known about Kam coming into her bath until after it happened. She glanced at Kam, then laid a hand on Erik’s arm. “I’m all right. Really.”

  His jaw tightened, and he nodded. His eyes held a combination of anger mixed with what looked like sorrow. “I knew they abused you and made you suffer. I didn’t know they beat you and left you scarred, Leila. You should have told me.” A muscle in his jaw ticced.

  She didn’t want to talk about this, didn’t want to think about what had happened to her. “It’s done, Erik. Over. There’s nothing you can do to change what happened.”

  His voice rose and sounded strained. “But it matters to m—” he stopped, lowering his volume. “What happened matters to the Council. Even though I don’t agree with how Kam approached you tonight, we’re going to need to see, and record the scars, for The Lair records.”

  “Everyone doesn’t need to see.” She hated the way the scars marred her body and certainly felt uncomfortable showing them off. She’d never even sought medical treatment for them, not wanting anyone to know about her abuse. She’d treated the wounds herself. She’d known at the time, if she said anything, Dare would kill her…or worse. The three had threatened her with unspeakable things, guaranteeing her silence.

  If older, with more experience, she’d have gone straight to Laszlo, but her fear had held her back. After Laszlo found out and banished the three, no reason had remained to fear, but by then nothing could be done. Laszlo didn’t offer to re-initiate her. Even if he had, at that time, she never would have agreed.

  Maybe he’d known that.

  “It’ll help us to know the scope of what happened to you. It’s time to stop hiding. Get everything out into the open. Finally. Deal with it. We can help you. We want to help you.” His gaze darted around the room, before finally returning to meet hers. “I want to help you.”

  “I know.” She saw the compassion in his eyes. “We’re friends, of sorts, right?”

  “I’d like to think so.” The look in his eyes softened even more. “I’d like to think we’re more.”

  Her breath hitched in her throat. Instead of responding to his statement, she took the coward’s way out and continued with what she’d originally planned to say. “Even so, you were disgusted when you saw the video of my Initiation, those few moments of it anyhow. We never talked about it, but I remember your face. You wouldn’t even look at me right after.”

  He looked at her now, directly, and honesty shone in his eyes. “Yes, I was disgusted and angry as hell.

  At them. At myself, for not being able to change what happened. Never at you. I intend to kill all three of them, Leila, if we ever cross paths.” His hand rose toward her cheek, but then he curled his fingers inward.

  “Leila,” Braden said, drawing her attention.

  Erik dropped his hand to his side, and she turned away from him. Despite his caring words, he couldn’t even bring himself to touch her now that he realized how terrible she must look naked. A dull thud started in her chest. Since he could probably possess any woman on Xylon he desired, she couldn’t blame him.

  “We need you to take off the cover.” Braden walked toward her.

  She fidgeted at his words, not quite knowing what to do. Nakedness wasn’t normally a problem within their society, but she felt vulnerable and didn’t want to see her imperfection reflected in their eyes.

  Besides, she’d never been as free with her body as most others. Somehow revealing herself to a stranger had always been easier than the thought of being intimate with a friend or Warrior who served on the same team as she. She’d worked hard becoming a Warrior, even harder to become accepted and respected among their exclusive ranks. She didn’t want them looking down on her. “Braden—”

  “Come on,” he interrupted and reached for the belt on her cover-up.

  Once he made up his mind, no one changed it. She could absolutely refuse, and she doubted he’d push.

  But what was the point? They already knew, so the damage had been done. And now that her injury was known, she realized just how tired she’d become of running from her past. “All right.” She nodded and allowed him to open the cover-up.

  From behind, Erik slipped the garment off her shoulders.

  Kam pushed aside her still damp hair.

  Not wanting to see their reaction to her scars, Leila kept her eyes closed. She heard a muffled curse from Erik. When she felt them moving around her, but nobody said anything further, her curiosity got the better of her, and her eyelids fluttered open. They stood surrounding her, staring at her, no longer moving. They barely seemed to be breathing. And she didn’t see pity in their gazes, but…lust.

  Braden’s eyes locked onto her breasts, and her nipples grew long and hard. His nostrils flared, making her feel more desired than in ages. He’d seen the rough and damaged skin on her back and apparently didn’t care. Torque stared at her pussy. His tongue grazed his lower lip, and her vagina throbbed in response. An image of him licking her until she came entered her mind. She almost groaned. She heard Erik’s heavy breathing behind her and felt his fingers trace the scars on her back and ass. Nobody had ever touched her scars. His tender caress made her lose her breath. She couldn’t see or hear Kam, though she felt his hand tighten in her hair.

  She reached for her cover-up.

  Braden pulled it out of range and dropped the garment to the floor.

  Her heart pounded wildly as the men continued to stare at her body. “Um, somebody say something.

  Please,” she whispered, afraid to speak any louder.

  “Sorry,” Braden said, clearing his throat. “You’re just so gorgeous.”

  Gorgeous? She gulped.

  “I wasn’t expecting—” He shook his head. “Kam, record her injuries. We’re going to do things differently tonight, Leila.” He looked over at Erik and made a few hand signals.

  Though a Warrior herself, only Class 1 and Class 2 ranks trained to communicate this way, so the significance of the signals were unknown to her. Braden’s words and reaction had taken her completely by surprise. And Torque looked at her with such fire in his eyes that she almost went up in flames.

  Instead of fear, an unexpected sense of excitement filled her, a feeling she hadn’t experienced in years.

  Erik said nothing as Braden continued signing. Finally, Erik growled and puffed out a large breath. “For observation only, until I otherwise direct.”

  “Agreed,” Braden replied.

  “What’s happening?” she asked, worry starting to replace her excitement.

  “We’re going to put you through an immersion, of sorts,” Braden explained. “And the full Initiation.”

  “Full? Why?” He couldn’t be serious.

  He reached toward her breast, then glanced up at Erik, and let his hand drop before touching her. “After everything that happened to you, I can’t be confident the original three performed the first two steps of your ceremony correctly.”

  “The first step isn’t effective anymore, Braden.” She felt an urge to cover her breasts and pussy, but refrained. Standing there naked while the rest of them watched, unsettled her now that they were in conversation and her sexual arousal had waned. “And we’re not even so sure about the second step, given what we know.”

  “The protection may not be completely effective, but some protection is better than none. You’ll be protected from the Egesa, just not Marid Assassins and Commanders. The preparation of your entire body needs redoing to make sure that you’re ready for breeding when the time comes to choose a mate.”

  Though she hated to admit the truth, what he said made sense. “And the immersion?” He couldn’t mean what she thought he meant with immersion. As a Healer, she understood the process. As a woman…


  “Wh-what did you mean by that, exactly?”

  His gaze again dipped to her bare breasts, before he answered. “We’re all staying, Leila, and we will put you through a full sexual experience to help you overcome what they did to you. Get in bed.”

  Staying? All of them? Her heart slammed against her ribs, and her gaze flickered over the four men.

  “Fucking me, over and over, isn’t going to make me forget, if that’s your plan.”

  “What we do to you will break through your sexual barrier and start the healing process.”

  She automatically turned to Erik, realizing right at that moment she trusted him more than any other to protect her. They’d always had a volatile relationship, but he’d never let her down when she needed him.

  “Erik?”

  He leaned close. “I’ll take care of you.”

  “Erik, let’s talk a moment,” Braden said, pulling him away. “Then I’ll get the rest of the needed equipment so we can Initiate her properly.”

  Torque smiled from ear to ear. Erik punched him in the shoulder as he passed. “Ow.” Torque cringed, but didn’t retaliate. He just chuckled.

  Leila’s mouth went dry. She hadn’t time to question what Erik meant by his words. Maybe he simply meant he’d take care of her sexually, but her soul felt his words emotionally. The blood rushed through her body so swiftly that she broke out in a sweat. She looked to Kam, her friend, for additional support.

  She’d never heard of an Alliance of four. Though Braden would probably only watch.

  “It’ll be all right,” Kam told her. “Get into bed.”

  Unable to control herself, her body began to tremble, in excitement or fear, she wasn’t quite certain. She stumbled over to the bed.

  Normally, Initiations took place in the Ceremony Room. The fact that they wanted to perform the rite in her quarters did make her less jittery. No video of the event would exist, and in her own surroundings, she felt more in control. Though she suspected, with these four, the control would really be all theirs.

  Chapter Three

  Leila leaned back against the headboard of her large, iron-framed bed. An orchid-colored sheet covered her body. Her private quarters. She never engaged in sex here, always preferring a neutral location with whoever ended up as her partner of choice. Not that she’d slept with a parade of men these past few years, barely any since her original Initiation. She could count the number on one hand. Still, her bedchamber had always remained solely hers, up to now.

  Tonight would mark a change for many things in her life.

  A while ago, Braden had dematerialized out. He hadn’t yet returned. He needed to get a special anal dildo for the second step of the Initiation. And Erik had requested some other specific items, but she wasn’t near enough to him when he’d asked to hear exactly what.

  Her only Initiation experience was with her original ceremony. She’d never participated as part of an Alliance, so other than the sexual transfer of protective elements, she wasn’t certain what to expect from this group of men.

  Across the room, Torque sat in a purple, overstuffed chair. His gaze roamed up and down her form, making her feel naked. She held the sheet tighter, as if that provided her with greater protection from him.

  He looked at her in a way that sent sexual thrills, and at the same time, a good amount of sexual trepidation deep into her very core.

  Earlier, Erik had left for the bath or living area. She hadn’t seen which door he went through. He’d looked troubled before he left, but hadn’t said anything. That worried her.

  Kam, still here and hovering close, sat beside her. He’d temporarily put his pants back on, for which she was grateful, simply because she felt less vulnerable, given the situation. Xylon’s men, especially the Warriors, felt so comfortable with their bodies, they’d probably walk around unclothed all the time if allowed. Not that she would necessarily object, since most of them were quite handsome and solidly built.

  She shifted under the sheet, trying to get more comfortable. Her nerves, still a bit on edge, prevented her from relaxing completely. But she’d be all right. She trusted these men, even Torque, regardless of his arrogance and intimidating presence, more than any others in The Lair. If she decided to give over control, these were the men to do it with.

  “Everything’s transmitted to the records, including the images of your scars. Are you going to be all right with this, Leila?”

  “Ask me after the Initiation is over.” She attempted a smile, but didn’t quite succeed. “Where’s Erik?”

  “In the bathing room. I don’t think he’s handling your scars well. He feels responsible.”

  “Responsible?” That made no sense. What could Erik be thinking? The man was a total enigma to her these days. Sometimes, he acted so cold. Other times, he burned hotter than a lava pit. And so often, he said things that made no sense to her. Now this. She never knew what to expect from him.

  Somehow though, the unpredictability fueled her attraction to him—to this one Warrior she admired more than any other. He’d fought unselfishly for Xylon on many dangerous missions over the years, all without complaint or desire for reward. He was a true planetary hero to their people. To this day she wondered about the source of the internal struggle of emotions she often saw in his eyes, and it tugged at her heart. “It’s not like he was present when the abuse happened.”

  “Well, actually, there’s news about that period of time that you’re not aware of. Braden and Erik might bust me for telling you, but we found out something after returning to Xylon with Alexa, and Braden took over control. The information appeared in Laszlo’s records.”

  “What?” From the look on Kam’s face, she knew whatever they’d found wasn’t good.

  “The Council chose Erik to lead your Alliance back when it originally took place.”

  The blood rushed through her body like a tidal wave. She felt unsteady and unsure that she had even heard him correctly. If she were standing, she probably would have toppled over. “Erik?” Her voice broke. When Kam nodded, she turned nauseous. She forced herself to swallow several times just to keep her stomach from heaving.

  Oh, how things could have differed if he’d participated in her Initiation. All the years of pain would never have occurred. One thing she did know about Erik, he’d never have beaten her, like those other three.

  Nor would he have allowed her to be beaten by anyone in his presence. The news, like a stab to the heart, crushed her, and she fought hard to hold back tears. “What happened? Why didn’t he do it?” she whispered, wondering what had lured him away that dreadful night.

  Recently, Erik had made it quite clear that he wanted her sexually. She wasn’t so sure about emotionally.

  Back then his feelings must have been ambivalent, or even uninterested, on both points. Their entire history consisted of a love-hate relationship she’d always found strangely stimulating. Up until now.

  “Leila, he didn’t know you were the initiate. I swear.”

  She closed her eyes. So, at the time, he didn’t know. And now he did. Were his thoughts and feelings as troubled as hers? Most likely, if he now felt responsible, as Kam said. Her eyes opened, and she glanced toward the bathing room. Seemed she might not be the only one who needed some heartfelt healing from this painful ordeal.

  * * * * *

  Erik smashed his fist against the bathing wall, cracking one of the stones. My fault. All my fucking, damn fault. He already felt guilty about Leila’s Initiation, and now she was scarred, probably for life, because of him.

  She deserved better.

  The marks on her back and ass, obviously caused by some strap applied excessively hard, made him sick. The horror she must have endured, he couldn’t imagine. He opened his fist and shook out his throbbing hand.

  Nobody had realized that Rave, Shear, and Dare were going too far during Initiations. Video existed, but the new initiates had apparently been too intimidated by the trio to say anything. So the disks had
never been reviewed. Until Laszlo, for reasons unknown to him, had watched Leila’s ceremony. Maybe the man was simply looking for a cheap thrill one night. Who knew? But afterward, he’d informed the Council, and those three monsters had been immediately banished.

  Erik had tried to stay calm in the bedchamber for Leila’s sake, but the knowledge about what had happened to her tore him up inside. She was so beautiful, inside and out, despite her ravaged flesh. All the pain she’d gone through, and was still going through, could have been avoided. He felt like the biggest bastard ever. Maybe all the times she’d called him that in the past, she’d been correct. What he’d condemned her to hadn’t been on purpose, but it didn’t matter. The result ended the same.

  He should have insisted on completing the Initiation, instead of going on that mission to Tamara. He’d been itching for an off-planet assignment and jumped when the opportunity had arisen.

  The Council hadn’t informed him who the female initiate was, so he hadn’t thought twice about passing on the lead position in the rite to another Warrior. Even if he had known, he wasn’t sure what decision he’d have made.

  Back then, he was more than a bit wild. Young and stupid, too, if he admitted the truth. And he’d thought any woman he wanted would fall at his feet, whenever he wanted. Even today, he rarely met with a refusal when he went on the prowl. Except with Leila—she was one special lady and didn’t fall for his lines. He was determined to capture her heart. He’d have to resort to the truth with her, and lay his emotions on the table. She wouldn’t accept anything less, and she deserved so much more.

  When Laszlo had found out that the Initiation hadn’t gone as planned, he’d been angrier than Erik had ever seen him, even before he’d found out about the abuse, according to the date and notation in the file.

  Maybe Braden was right, after all. Maybe Laszlo really was manipulating them, and even back then the man had wanted him and Leila involved for some reason. Whatever the truth, everything had turned into one big, fucking mess.