Wishes

by Jude Deveraux

  “Sure thing, mister.”

  Jace pulled a quarter from his pocket. It was too much to give to the boy, but he wanted to insure his loyalty. “To Nellie and no one else.”

  “I heard you the first time.”

  “Go,” Jace said. “I have to pack.” The boy left, and Jace threw some clothes into a bag. He meant to make the four A.M. train. Even if he had to ride on top of a coal car, he was going to be on the first transportation out of Chandler. When he snapped his bag shut he paused. His father ill. His robust, aggressively healthy father ill. As he picked up his bag his hand trembled a bit.

  There was no one downstairs at the hotel desk, so he quickly wrote a note saying he was checking out, then left money with the note. When that was done he began running. He made it to the train station as fast as his long legs could travel, and once there he paid an exorbitant amount for passage inside a freight car to Denver. He didn’t care what discomfort he had to endure. He was going to get to Maine and his father as fast as possible.

  “Well?” Terel demanded of the boy. Last summer she had seen the boy terrorizing a little girl half his size and age, and she knew that he would be the one to do what she wanted.

  “I done it.” The boy squinted his eyes at her. “He give me two bits.”

  “You little blackmailer,” Terel muttered. She’d promised the boy to double whatever Jace gave him if he’d bring her any note Jace might write. She gave the kid fifty cents, taking Jace’s note at the same time. “One word of this gets out and I’ll know who told,” she said, threatening him.

  “You can do your own sister in for all I care,” the boy said, backing away from her and grinning insolently. “You need any more help, Duke’s the one.”

  She glared at him, refusing to call him by his self-given name of Duke. “I won’t need you anymore. Go home.”

  He grinned again, then took off running.

  Terel shivered in the cold morning and could feel that the crisp, pretty days were almost over and winter would be there soon. She lifted her ball gown off the gravel and started to walk home. She hadn’t been home since yesterday, the night of the Harvest Ball, the night that had come so close to changing her life.

  She crumpled the letter Jace had written and kept walking. It would take him weeks to get to Maine and back, and by the time he returned Terel planned to have Nellie convinced that Jace Montgomery was a blackguard, and that he’d deserted her. She smiled in the gray early-morning light and quickened her step. Today she was having a tea party for her friends so they could discuss the ball. She planned to have some extraordinary gossip for them.

  Nellie awoke with a start, and at first she thought that last night had been a dream, but as her eyes focused she saw her beautiful gown hanging on the back of the door. For a few moments of luxury she closed her eyes and relived last night. Being in Jace’s arms. Seeing him smile at her, his dimple showing now and then. She remembered feeling so proud: proud of him, proud of herself, proud just to be alive. He’d kissed her when he brought her home, kissed her and told her he loved her.

  Nellie hadn’t said anything in return. What she was feeling for Jace was more than love; it was closer to worship. He was changing how she felt about herself, how she looked at the world. He was changing how the entire town looked at her, spoke to her, thought of her. Love him? she thought. What she felt for him was considerably more than love.

  Slowly, Nellie got out of bed and began to dress. She felt almost dreamy after last night. Even though she’d had only a few hours sleep she felt wonderful. For a moment she waltzed about the room in her underwear.

  She stopped and smiled. “You great cow,” she said, but with no real anger in her voice. “Stop daydreaming and get to work.” She picked up her corset, slipped it on over her head, and then started pulling the front drawstrings closed.

  “That’s odd,” she said aloud. Usually she had to pull the strings hard to make the sides come within four inches of meeting, but this morning the sides of the corset were only two inches apart. She pulled on her old brown dress. Yesterday the dress had been so tight the ribs in her corset could be seen, but today the dress was almost loose.

  Nellie smiled. “Probably all the dancing last night,” she said, then hurried from the room.

  For the rest of the day she had no more time to think, for there was an enormous amount of work to do. Her father was talking to investors, and she had to prepare food for them. Terel was having some of her women friends over for tea, and there were cakes to bake and ice.

  By three P.M. she was already exhausted. She hadn’t had a moment to sit down, but she hadn’t stopped smiling all day. For once in her life it seemed she had pleased everyone. At breakfast her father had beamed at her, said he had heard she’d taken Mr. Montgomery’s eye. He said some things about ships that Nellie didn’t understand, but she’d been too busy serving buttermilk biscuits to ask questions. Later she’d overheard her father say to Terel, “If Montgomery wants her, he can have her. I can hire a house-keeper for what the man will bring this family.”

  “If Montgomery wants her,” Nellie had whispered, and she felt her skin glow with warmth as she carried a platter of ham into the dining room.

  All day Terel had been especially kind to her. Terel had talked of their going to dances together in the future, of their shopping together and maybe even getting married in a joint ceremony.

  Marriage, Nellie had thought as she rolled out pastry for apple tarts. Terel was smiling at her from across the big work table. “I’m not sure Mr. Montgomery has marriage in mind. Perhaps he…” Children of her own, she thought. A home of her own.

  “You couldn’t see the way he looked at you. Oh, Nellie, you two looked so good together last night. Hardly anyone remarked on the fact that you’re twice as wide as he is.”

  “Twice as…” Nellie ate two slices of apple coated in sugar and cinnamon.

  “It didn’t matter at all. You just looked divine. I was so proud of you.”

  Nellie smiled and began placing apple slices on the pastry. “I had a wonderful time.”

  “Yes, I know you did. When will you see him again?”

  “I don’t know. Sometimes he comes by in the afternoon.” She glanced toward the kitchen door, almost expecting to see him there.

  “I’m sure he’ll turn up sooner or later. Nellie, I don’t mean to pry, but you didn’t…I mean, well, last night you seemed to be very free with him. Not that I’d ever be one to criticize, but you kept—well, touching him in a very improper way.”

  “I didn’t mean to.” Nellie ate four slices of apple.

  “No, of course you didn’t, and only a few people commented on it, and I’m sure they know you’re a woman of good repute. They know you’re not the…well, the loose woman you seemed to be last night.”

  On the end of the table there was a large tray covered with freshly baked cookies. Nellie ate two cookies.

  “I just wondered,” Terel continued, “if you’d allowed him to do anything to you. You are still a virgin, aren’t you?”

  Nellie ate two more cookies. “I am still a virgin,” she whispered.

  Terel stood. “Good. I told Father I would ask. He’d heard so much about your behavior last night that he came to me for advice. I assured him that even though you may have looked like a wanton woman I was sure you weren’t. Now I can reassure him and everyone else in town.” She moved around the table to kiss Nellie’s cheek. “You looked so good last night, Nellie. Please remember that and don’t eat so many cookies that you won’t be able to wear that lovely gown again. It would be a shame to insult Mrs. Taggert’s generosity by gaining even more weight.” She smiled. “See you at tea,” she said, then she left the room.

  Nellie ate two dozen cookies before she could stop herself. Had she acted like a wanton woman last night? Was the entire town talking about her behavior? She knew how she felt about Jace, but had she actually made a fool of herself before everyone?

  When she pulled three
dozen petit fours from the oven she ate a dozen of them before she could get them iced. Now, when she thought of the ball, she saw herself as Terel had described her, “twice as wide as he is,” and she saw the townspeople watching her in disbelief as she acted like a harlot.

  She had to make a second batch of icing for the little cakes because she ate the first bowlful.

  “Terel, what is it?” Mae asked, watching Terel sniff prettily into her handkerchief.

  Eight young women of Chandler were gathered in the Grayson parlor discussing with great enthusiasm the ball of the night before. The main topic of conversation was Nellie and the great change that had taken place.

  “I’d never even looked at Nellie before.”

  “She was so beautiful, and Mr. Montgomery looked at her with such love in his eyes. He—”

  It was at that point that Terel began to sniff delicately. The young ladies were so engrossed in their conversation that it was a while before Mae noticed and asked Terel what was wrong.

  “It’s nothing,” Terel said. “At least it’s nothing I can share with anyone outside my family.”

  Charlene looked at Louisa. “We’ve known you all your life. We are very close to being family.”

  Terel touched her handkerchief to the corner of her eye. “You’ll all know sooner or later anyway.”

  “Sooner, preferably,” Mae said, but Charlene elbowed her in the ribs.

  “Mr. Montgomery is a…”

  They all waited, leaning forward on their chairs, cups suspended in midair.

  “He’s a gigolo!”

  “No,” three women breathed.

  “I’m afraid it’s true,” Terel said, looking very sad. “I was afraid of this from the beginning. It seems that all Mr. Montgomery ever wanted was to buy Grayson Freight.”

  “But I heard he was rich,” Mae said.

  “Oh, yes, he is, but don’t the rich always want to get richer? Look at Mr. Kane Taggert.”

  The women looked at each other and nodded in agreement.

  “I never trusted him from the first,” Terel said. “From the first night he came to dinner I felt uneasy around him. I’m sure he sensed it, so he started courting my poor, dear sister. Poor, poor Nellie. She doesn’t have any idea men like that even exist. Nellie is such a sweet, naïve dear, and for the first time in her life a man was paying attention to her. I hadn’t the heart to tell her what I thought of Mr. Montgomery. Besides, I could have been wrong.”

  Terel paused to sniff some more.

  “Your instincts were right,” Louisa said.

  “But last night,” Mae said, “he seemed to like Nellie so much. He seemed to adore her. I’ve never seen a man look at a woman like that.”

  “Mr. Montgomery should have been on the stage,” Terel snapped. “At about nine o’clock I stepped outside for a bit of air—all my many dancing partners were leaving me breathless—and who should be on the porch but Mr. Montgomery?”

  “What did he do?” Mae gasped.

  “He kissed me!”

  “No,” all the women said together.

  “How dreadful for you.”

  “How frightful.”

  “The cad!”

  “The scoundrel!”

  “I wish he wanted to buy my father’s business,” Mae said dreamily, but she straightened herself when the others glared at her.

  “It was what I suspected all along,” Terel said. “My father refused to sell his business, and I guess when Mr. Montgomery found that out he tried to obtain the business another way, by courting Nellie.”

  “I did wonder,” Louisa said, “why a man who looks like he does would want a woman like…I mean, not that Nellie doesn’t have a pretty face, but she is a bit…well…”

  “You don’t have to be tactful,” Terel said. “Father and I faced the truth a long time ago. Nellie is fat, and she is getting fatter every day. It has been a burden Father and I have always had to bear. We’ve tried everything. Both of us have tried to talk to her. Three years ago Father sent her to a clinic outside Denver. She lost some weight while she was there, but as soon as she was home she gained it all back. We just don’t know what to do with her. She eats whole cakes and pies, dozens of cookies at a time. It’s like a disease with her. We don’t know what to do about her.” Terel buried her face in her handkerchief.

  “We had no idea you had kept such a heavy secret,” Charlene said, patting Terel’s shoulder.

  “You haven’t heard half of it.”

  The women leaned forward again.

  “This morning Mr. Montgomery left town on the four A.M. freight train. He checked out of the hotel, no forwarding address, no message to anyone. He just left before daylight. He…he…oh, I can’t say it.”

  “We’re your friends,” Charlene said, and Louisa nodded in agreement.

  “I think Mr. Montgomery realized that he was not going to get Father’s business, and I think he…he had his way with Nellie.”

  The women gasped as one.

  “He…”

  “She…”

  “They…”

  “Is she…will she have a baby?” Mae whispered, not really knowing the technical aspect of what Nellie was believed to have done, but her mother had warned her emphatically about men and babies.

  “I don’t know,” Terel said into her handkerchief. “What am I going to do? Father has asked me to be the one to tell Nellie that her…her lover has left town. How can I tell her? She is so enamored of the cad that she will never believe anything I say. I’m sure that if I told her about Mr. Montgomery’s kissing me she would undoubtedly think it was sisterly jealousy.”

  “How awful for you,” Louisa said. “Surely Nellie would believe her own sister over the word of a stranger.”

  “If Mr. Montgomery told me the sky was purple, I’d believe him, and nothing my sisters could say would change my mind,” Mae said. When the others glared at her, she glared right back.

  “Mae is right,” Terel said. “You all saw Nellie last night. She believes herself in love with the scoundrel. She’ll never believe anything I say.” She looked over her hankie at the women and waited. Idiots, she thought. Use what limited brainpower you have.

  “I shall tell Nellie he also kissed me,” Charlene said, looking for all the world like a martyr about to die for a true cause.

  “And so shall I,” Louisa said with just as much pride.

  “I shall say I am carrying his child,” Mae whispered, then opened her eyes. “All right. Just one kiss.”

  “You are such good, dear friends, and someday Nellie will appreciate what you’re doing for her.”

  “We are Nellie’s friends, too, and we’ll do anything we can to help, but Terel, I was wondering—just because we might need to know, in case Nellie should ask—what was Mr. Montgomery’s kiss like?” Charlene asked.

  “Yes, purely for the sake of research, perhaps you should tell us,” Louisa said.

  “Well,” Terel began, “just for research, I’d say it was divine. He is a very strong man, and he pulled me quite close to him, and—oh, heavens! I think Mae has fainted.”

  Chapter Nine

  Jace didn’t come to visit her the day after the ball, and Nellie tried not to be disappointed. She told herself she was expecting too much, and that perhaps he had business elsewhere. By the second day, when she still hadn’t seen him, she decided to make a trip to Randolph’s Grocery and perhaps stop by her father’s offices to see if Jace was there. She baked six dozen oatmeal-raisin cookies to take to her father’s employees.

  After what Terel had said about Nellie’s conduct the night of the ball, Nellie hadn’t ventured out of the house. She was afraid people might look at her oddly, might question her behavior of that night. She knew that seeking out Jace was probably the worst thing she could do for her reputation, but it had been so long since she’d seen him. Also, she wanted to stop by her dressmaker’s and see about having a new dress made. For some reason her old dresses didn’t seem to fit.


  The moment she stepped onto the boardwalk she knew her worst fears had come true. A couple of young men passed her, tipped their hats, then leered at her. Nellie turned away. She waved to three young women across the street, but they pointedly looked away, refusing to acknowledge Nellie’s existence.

  It is worse than Terel said, Nellie thought. I made a fool of myself before the whole town. And now I’m once again flinging myself at him, she thought. She told herself that under no circumstances should she go to visit Jace, but she kept walking toward her father’s office.

  As soon as she entered she saw that no one was sitting at Jace’s desk. She tried not to look at the empty space, tried not to watch every doorway. She smiled and passed out cookies and asked pleasant questions of each of her father’s employees. She was aware of the cautious way they looked at her. Even though they hadn’t been at the ball they had obviously heard about her conduct.

  She stayed at the freight office for as long as she politely could, then left. No one had even mentioned Jace. She started for the grocery, but Miss Emily saw her from a distance and came running.

  “Nellie,” Miss Emily said, “I want to talk to you.”

  Nellie blushed. “I apologize for my behavior,” she whispered. “I never meant to embarrass people.”

  “I just want you to know that I don’t believe any of it. That young man really cares for you.”

  “Yes, I think he does, but that doesn’t excuse my conduct.”

  “We all make mistakes. Now,” Miss Emily said, “we have to be practical. What are you going to do about the child?”

  “What child?”

  “You don’t have to pretend with me. Everyone in town knows you’re carrying his child. You just have to decide what to do now.”

  Nellie had to get her mouth closed. “I’m not carrying a child.”

  “But I heard—” Miss Emily stopped. “Don’t tell me this is all gossip! Everyone is saying that that Montgomery fellow was told you were expecting his child and that’s why he left town.”

  Nellie blinked. “Left town? Who left town?”