Her Perfect Pleasure

by Lindsay Evans

  “Jade!”

  She looked over her shoulder with a distracted smile when he called her name.

  “Hey, Carter.”

  “What are you doing here?” he asked, although from the conversation he’d just overheard, it was fairly obvious. But she tended to burn the common sense right out of his brain.

  “Work,” she simply said. “What about you?” Then she looked up at the marquee of the club with a wry glance. “I didn’t figure this for your type of place.”

  “Why, you think I don’t do strip clubs?”

  “Not at all. I’m sure you’re a man with all the usual needs.” Her lips pursed. “This place seems a bit too...obvious for someone like you.”

  He moved closer to her on the sidewalk, hands in his pockets. Mr. Casual. “You said it before—there are a lot of things we don’t know about each other anymore.”

  “You’re very right.” She nodded, looking thoughtful. Then sighed and ran a hand over her short hair. “Anyway, I’ll leave you to it. I’m sure the girls are anxious for you to get back in there.”

  “They’re doing just fine,” he said with a dismissive shrug. The dancers were nothing for him to worry about. “I’m here with my brothers for Kingsley’s bachelor party. As long as he’s there, the party will keep going.”

  “Ah...” Another of her smiles curved that lush mouth he hadn’t been able to get out of his mind for ten years. “See you around, then.”

  Jade tucked her phone away in her purse and headed toward the silver car parked all the way on the other side of the full parking lot.

  She was leaving. Just like she had a few days before. Just like he had ten years ago. It seemed like they were always walking away from each other, no matter who did it first.

  And the first time, just like now, he had walked away from her because of something he thought the family needed from him. Back then, the situation had been dire. He had to leave. But he hadn’t spared even a moment to tell her what was going on and let her know that he wanted to continue the thing they’d started. That was his fault. But that was also in the past.

  For right now, he couldn’t let them keep walking away from each other.

  “Dinner,” he said, walking faster to catch up with her. “Have dinner with me tonight.”

  She turned around, walking slowly backward, quite a feat on heels high enough to break his neck. “Why?” she asked.

  “Because I want to see you again.”

  “And...” She dragged out the word and kept walking. A slight smile curved the corners of her mouth.

  “And I know you want to see me again too,” he said, completely without shame. Jade wanted him just like he wanted her; she just had to let herself admit it, let herself fall under the spell Carter was already under.

  She stopped. “Okay. I’ll have dinner with you.” Her face was a conflict of emotions, but softer than it had been for him in a long time. As soft as that evening at her hotel when he’d come over and they’d fallen into bed together. Forgiveness tinged with nostalgia and the possibilities of what could be between them this time around.

  Carter only just stopped himself from doing a fist pump. “Good.”

  “I’m driving, though.”

  “That’s good because I didn’t bring my car.”

  “Hmm.” A smile curved her pretty lips. “Your car.”

  “I know.” The Bugatti had dropped enough panties for him to know very well the effect his car had on women. “Maybe you’ll let me give you another ride in her some other time.”

  “You don’t have to twist my arm.”

  The whole time they walked, she walked backward unerringly toward her car like she had both a homing beacon and some sort of backup camera between her and the Aston Martin. And he stalked her, footsteps quiet against the pavement. His pulse thudded wildly in his belly, and lower.

  “Good,” he said. “It would be a waste to do something so unpleasant, not to mention unproductive, once I’m finally close to you again.”

  She hummed low in her throat then, at the driver’s side door of the car, put her hand on the handle. Jade looked conflicted. Agitated. Determined.

  “Don’t say things you don’t mean, Carter Diallo.”

  “I never do.”

  The noise trilled in her throat again. The car opened with a soft chirp and she slipped inside. The passenger side opened and he got in without a second thought. Once he closed the door after himself, he sent a text to Leo.

  Heading out but I’ll be back later.

  Leo replied immediately.

  Don’t rush back. We got it under control here. Kingsley doesn’t even know you’re gone. Enjoy your piece of Jade and see you at the wedding tomorrow.

  Carter darkened the screen without replying. The jackass.

  “So, dinner.” He buckled himself in. “How about Sombra y Luz?” He named a pan-Latin restaurant tucked away in a grotto not far from Virginia Key. It was exclusive, private and especially beautiful at night.

  “I don’t know what that is, but sounds perfect,” she said with an unexpected laugh.

  He took out his phone to make the last-minute reservation. “I like this side of you.”

  “You know what? Me too.” She started the Aston Martin and roared out of the parking lot.

  * * *

  Jade stopped the car and turned off the engine.

  “It looks deserted out here,” she said in the sudden silence.

  It did seem deserted. Stretched out before them was the rest of the mostly empty parking lot, and beyond it a railing, and beyond that, the ocean. Rippling waves appeared on the dark heave of the sea, white capped under the moonlight. Endless.

  The sound of the sea rushed through Carter’s ears, hypnotic and low. Except for the half-dozen other cars in the lot with them, it was easy to think nothing was around them but the waist-high wooden railing and the sea below.

  “Are you worried I brought you out here for nefarious purposes?” Carter murmured the question as he climbed out of the car.

  “No, especially since I drove us here.” She closed the driver’s side door and dropped the keys in her purse.

  Carter stepped around to the front of the car and offered her his arm. “A confident woman. I like that.”

  Jade rolled her eyes and slipped her arm through his, her smile glinting. “Stop playing around. Where are we going?”

  Carter allowed a soft laugh then waved toward the stairs barely visible in the moonlight. “Over there. Come on.”

  It wasn’t until they moved closer to the stairs that Carter could hear it faintly, the sound of low conversation and laughter. Voices speaking in multiple languages—Spanish, English, French, maybe even a dash of Portuguese—coming from somewhere they couldn’t see.

  Jade looked up at him. “It sounds like ghosts,” she said but didn’t look scared at all.

  “Do you think there are ghosts out here in Miami? Is that why you can’t wait to leave?”

  Abruptly, her face closed off, tucking away the small amount of happiness that had made her beautiful face even more radiant just seconds before. Carter instantly regretted his words.

  He squeezed her arm. “Come. Let’s go see.”

  With her hand in his, he led her to the stone stairs bracketed by an iron railing that had never been allowed to rust. The stairs wound down, slowly curving around the edge of the rocks lower and lower.

  Jade looked around; under the moonlight her eyes were wide and intrigued.

  “Where are you taking me, Mr. Diallo?”

  “I told you, you’ll see.”

  Just as he finished talking, everything came into view. Jade gasped.

  The restaurant was nice enough in the day. In a hidden grotto right on the beach, with clear and sparkling blue along the water’s edge, it was a very pretty sight. But at
night was when the true beauty of Sombra y Luz came into play. The small restaurant used the natural flow of the cliff face to create the illusion of a small sandcastle forming itself from the rocks. Inside, Sombra y Luz was intimate and warm and only had enough space for twenty small tables.

  The thirteen tables outside on the beach were the pride of the restaurant, however. Enclosed in their own curtained gazebos and set up on a platform away from the sand and water, the tables were completely private and gave the perfect view of the dark ocean and the lights of boats drifting past.

  On a normal day it was hard enough to get a table, but Carter knew someone who owed him a favor, so a table was his, no waiting.

  “My father’s parents have dinner here sometimes. They used to come for anniversaries but now they eat here whenever they want to have a special evening together.”

  Jade simply stared. “It’s beautiful.”

  Tonight, Carter was lucky. Bioluminescence was rare in the area, nearly unheard of in this part of the year. But tonight, at the edge of the dark sea and moving up on land, the waves glittered as if they’d trapped the light of the stars and laid them out like a shimmering carpet at their feet.

  “I can’t believe this place exists,” Jade murmured with awe in her voice. She leaned into Carter as they walked, seeming to barely pay attention to where she put her own feet.

  But it was fine, because Carter knew where they were going and guided her feet alongside his own.

  They walked along the natural rock path to the entrance of the restaurant where the host stood at the podium with two menus already in hand.

  “Mr. Diallo,” he said before Carter could introduce himself. “Your table is waiting.”

  He seated them at the very edge of the restaurant’s border where the water threatened to rush up the steps of the little gazebo. The table was already set for two, a small candle in its center burning brightly.

  “Your server will be with you in a moment,” he said before bowing his head and leaving them alone.

  The white curtains surrounding the interior of their gazebo fluttered in the breeze. The single entrance and exit leading straight out to the water invited in the view of the starry waves and the dark ocean beyond it.

  Across the table, Jade’s expression was still incredulous. Carter mentally patted himself on the back for thinking of this place, and at the last minute. From their conversations in college he remembered that Jade always loved the water.

  “Would you like some wine?” he asked, already deciding he would stick to tonic water for the rest of the night. Whatever happened between them, he wanted to be absolutely clearheaded for it.

  “Sure.” She skimmed the menu but before she could voice a choice, their server appeared.

  “I can choose something for you, if you trust me.”

  The look she gave him was filled with meaning. “Okay,” she finally said.

  He ordered a Chilean white for her and an Italian soda for himself.

  “Thank you,” Jade said once the server had disappeared with their order. She looked around her, gleaming brown eyes missing nothing. “When you said dinner I didn’t think you were taking me to the edge of the world.”

  “Do you want me to take you someplace else?” Carter teased.

  “Oh God, no. This place is absolutely wonderful.”

  Their drinks came just then. When the server left, she took a sip of her wine and gave an approving smile. “Thank you.”

  “My pleasure.”

  When Carter’s mother first told him about this place, he thought it was magic. She’d described the bioluminescence, the food, how special she felt. Even as a kid hearing these stories, Carter had wanted some of that magic for himself. He’d been to the restaurant many times with his siblings and even by himself but he’d never brought a woman, until now.

  “Your mother must love it here,” Jade said. She was looking out at the ocean, her fingers resting on the lip of the wineglass.

  “She does.” Carter leaned close, his head nodded toward hers. “Between you and me, I think my father enjoys it just as much as her.”

  Jade laughed. “I’m sure. They complement each other very well.”

  “Yes, in work and at home,” Carter said, and mentioned the positions they each held in the company for years. “You’ve gotta admire a couple that can work and live together without getting on each other’s nerves.”

  A wistful look took over Jade’s face. “Yeah. That seems like a true test of partnership.” She tapped a finger against the rim of her wineglass. “You know, your family surprised me the other day.”

  “How so?”

  “They...they were very welcoming and very sweet to me.” Her lips pursed. “It’s like they’d been waiting for me or something. It was strange. It was...nice.”

  Yes, they had been waiting, Carter thought. For him to get his head out of his ass and realize what—and who—he’d been craving all these years. Paxton had made it clear exactly what her agenda was where he and Jade were concerned. Little did she know that it was impossible to get Jade to do anything she didn’t want to.

  “My family is the very best thing about me,” Carter confessed. “Even when I’m weak, they help me feel strong.”

  Jade fell silent. She turned to look again out to the water. “I wish I had that. When my parents were alive, they only ever made me feel alone.”

  The sadness in her voice throbbed between them, a painful song Carter felt all the way into his bones. He reached for her hands and drew them between his. He wasn’t a guy who talked a lot. Most of what he had to say, he said through actions. But words he felt Jade needed to hear slowly bubbled up in his throat.

  “Parents are important, but they don’t need to define who you are now. You don’t have to feel alone. You don’t have to hold on to that hurt they left behind.”

  Tears glittered in Jade’s eyes. “God...” she groaned out, and the unexpected vulnerability of the grown woman he was coming to know again jolted Carter in the most unpleasant of ways. “I wish I could let that pain go,” she said.

  “At least try. For your own peace of mind.”

  Jade shook her head and pulled her hands back from Carter’s. She took a hurried sip of her wine then rubbed at her eyes.

  “I was pregnant.” The words spilled out of her in a rush, like she didn’t mean to say them. She drew in a breath. “I was pregnant when you left me.”

  Carter’s stomach dropped. “What?” He gripped the edges of the table. “What—what happened?” He stopped suddenly, unable to go on.

  “I lost the baby. I lost her.” The tears spilled over and slipped down Jade’s cheeks. She didn’t wipe them away.

  A baby? A little girl?

  He and Jade had almost been parents. Together. The thought lanced a sharp pain down the center of his chest.

  “Jade...?”

  It felt like the wind was rushing toward Carter from a long tunnel. The breath stopped in his lungs. His hands twitched helplessly on top of the table. If it affected him like this ten years after, he couldn’t even imagine Jade’s agony when it had first happened.

  “Even though it was my senior year, my parents forced me to leave school when they found out about the baby,” Jade continued, her tone flat and calm despite the tears tracking down her face. “They made me feel like I was the lowest form of life. For months, they hounded me, said terrible things to me and kept me trapped in the house with them. Then I lost our baby.”

  Jade grabbed her half-empty glass of wine and drained it. Then she finished breaking Carter’s heart into pieces. She told him how her parents made her feel like less than nothing. And after she’d been left with nothing, no baby in her arms, barely any self-esteem, she packed her few belongings and ran back to the West Coast. At a small college a world away from the prestigious university where she and Carter met, Jade
managed to finish her college credits, and built a life and a career despite being on her own. She never spoke to her parents again.

  Carter swallowed and the pain of her revelation scraped his throat raw. She’d lost their baby. She’d lost. “I...I didn’t know any of this, Jade. I’m sorry you had to go through it, and I’m sorry you went through this alone.”

  “It’s in the past.” With visibly shaking hands, she wiped the tears from her cheeks. “I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

  “Please, don’t dismiss your pain like this. Not to me.” Like he was approaching a skittish animal, Carter put his hands in the center of the table, palms out, an offering of hers to take. Or refuse. “It’s important for me to know that you went through it and survived.”

  For a moment, he didn’t think she would take his hands. With damp eyes, she looked down at the table, unblinking. Then, she took his hand.

  “Can we get out of here?” Her voice broke. “Please.”

  They left the restaurant before their food came.

  * * *

  Releasing control wasn’t something Carter did. Ever. Too much depended on him keeping his temper. Keeping his wits about him. Staying smart. Staying alert. That he never gave any thought to just...letting go.

  But back in Jade’s car, with her hand on the gearshift and her revelation about their child between them, letting go was exactly what he did.

  Over ten years ago, he’d left her with a burden he couldn’t even fathom. She’d had a child in her belly, cruel parents riding her back and the father of her child off in the wind. No wonder she’d hated him.

  “Please, don’t feel sorry for me.” These were the first words Jade said since they left the restaurant. “That’s not what I want.”

  Carter didn’t feel sorry for her. What he felt was anger at himself.

  Why hadn’t that cowardly kid he’d been found the courage to hunt for Jade once he got back to the university? That one act alone could’ve saved their baby’s life.

  Maybe.

  He made a sound of frustration and scrubbed a hand across his face. “Dammit all.”

  A hand landed on his thigh. “It’s okay, Carter. Really.”