Games Creatures Play

by Charlaine Harris

  “Body count’s too low.”

  “. . . right. How do I kill a chimera?”

  “Bullets. Lots and lots and lots of bullets.”

  “That’s simple, at least.” I sagged in my seat. “Please tell me you have some good news.”

  “I also checked with one of the guys I know on your local Police Beat, and the police aren’t currently monitoring the warehouse. You’re good to go back whenever you need to.”

  “Then we’re going back tonight.”

  Artie sighed. “I sort of figured you would be. Don’t die. Please?”

  “I’ll try,” I said, and hung up, turning my attention back to my laptop. The browser was open to a page on lindworms. I’d been reading about their dietary habits—not good—and how much destruction they could do—even worse—when I’d finally passed out. “Right,” I said, and stood. I needed breakfast before I went back to reading about things that were guaranteed to ruin my appetite.

  • • •

  Time to leave for the warehouse came sooner than I had wanted it to. Time is funny like that. Cylia and Leya had both been home when I called. Fern hadn’t answered her phone. I left a message, counting on her desire not to see me turned into human confetti to make her show up. I was about to make the most awkward call on my list when my phone rang. I blinked at the display and raised the phone to my ear.

  “Elsie?”

  “Carlotta and I are about twenty minutes out,” she said, without preamble. “If you don’t want me coming to your front door—and I know you don’t want me coming to your front door—you need to be on the frontage road when we get there. Otherwise, I’m driving straight to the house.”

  “Don’t do that,” I said automatically. I paused. “Wait, you’re coming to get me?”

  “Did you think I was going to make you skate here? You’d arrive after we’d all been shredded. Be on the road or I’ll see you in the driveway.” She hung up.

  “. . . right.” I shoved my phone into my pocket, shouting, “Mom! I’m going to go fight a monster I haven’t identified yet!”

  “Don’t get decapitated, dear,” she called back.

  I shook my head. “Parental oversight,” I muttered, stepping outside. Sometimes it’s hard to forget that I’m the youngest child in the family—I came after the heir and the spare, and my parents are happy if I make it through the day without setting anything on fire or dropping anyone who doesn’t deserve it down a pit trap. Great for doing whatever I want without worrying about rules getting in my way, lousy if what I want is for my mother to realize that I’m running off to get myself killed and at least offer me an extra knife or something.

  The frontage road where Elsie was going to pick me up was located about a quarter mile from the house, and the easiest way to get there was by taking another stroll through the woods. At least the sun was up this time. I walked quickly, trying to relax and focus. Whatever was waiting in the warehouse wouldn’t get easier to subdue—or to kill—if I tied myself in knots over it before I knew what I was up against.

  Elsie was parked on the shoulder of the road when I emerged from the trees. I stopped where I was, blinking, before I broke into a jog, quickly covering the space between us. She scowled through her open window. “You’re late,” she accused, once I was close enough to hear her.

  “You’re early,” I countered. “Hi, Carlotta.”

  Carlotta, who was sitting in the passenger seat, smiled wanly. She didn’t look like she’d slept. “Hello, Annie. I hope you had a better night than I did.”

  “Probably, yeah,” I said, opening the back door and tossing my duffel bag onto the seat. It landed with a clanking noise that made Carlotta’s eyes widen. I slid in after it. “I’m really sorry about Holly.”

  “Just shut the door so we can go, okay?” Elsie turned the engine back on. “We can all get in touch with our feelings after you kill the fucking thing.”

  I shut the door. Elsie pulled away from the shoulder, slamming her foot down on the gas hard enough to send us hurtling along the road. I scrambled to get my seat belt on. Elsie was a fairly safe driver under most circumstances, but it only takes one argument with physics to ruin everyone’s day.

  “Is it true?” Carlotta sounded uncharacteristically meek. I turned toward her, finally taking in all the small, frazzled details of her appearance as I realized how shaken she really was. She looked like a woman whose world had shifted 180 degrees while she wasn’t paying attention, leaving her unsure which way was up.

  “Is what true?”

  “That you . . . do you kill monsters? Is that what you are? A monster hunter?”

  I directed a glare at the back of Elsie’s head. “That’s an oversimplification.”

  “But you’ll kill this monster. It killed Tanya—Holly—and now you’re going to kill it, right?”

  “I . . .” I took a deep breath. “We’ll see, okay? I have to do everything I can to figure out what happened before I know what to do in response.”

  “It killed my friend,” said Carlotta without inflection.

  I winced. “Look, I’m sorry, but I don’t know what it is yet. Maybe it had a reason for what it did. Maybe it didn’t understand.”

  “Not helping,” said Elsie grimly.

  I closed my eyes. “I’ll do the best I can,” I said.

  I didn’t say anything else during the drive. Neither did Elsie or Carlotta. I think we all agreed that it was safer that way.

  • • •

  Leya, Cylia, and Fern stood in front of the warehouse, trying to look like they weren’t loitering at a crime scene. The warehouse door was standing slightly ajar. They were all wearing their practice clothes, and I was relieved to see that everybody had their skates.

  “Hey, guys,” I said, walking up. “You ready?”

  “You know what’s in there?” asked Cylia.

  “We’ve got two options, neither of them good. It’s either a manticore or a chimera. Either way, it’s big, it’s ugly, and it’s hungry.”

  “Eh,” said Leya. She shrugged, the motion of her shoulders suggesting joints that didn’t follow the rules of human anatomy. “I’ve seen ugly before. We can kick its ass.”

  “Good,” said Carlotta, stepping up behind me. “I assume you won’t mind a little help.”

  Leya blanched at the sight of her human team captain. “I—”

  I held up a hand. “Carlotta won’t tell anyone anything,” I said. “She just wants payback.”

  “We understand,” said Cylia. “If I’d lost one of my girls, I’d burn the world down before I let someone tell me I didn’t get to avenge her.”

  “Since we agree that no one is leaving, can we get down to the important business of risking our necks?” I asked. “Elsie, you’re standing guard. If it looks like the police are coming to check things out, dissuade them by whatever means necessary.”

  “Why am I standing guard?” my cousin asked, sounding affronted.

  “Because you don’t skate, and we need to be fast. Whatever killed Holly was fast.” She was also the one with preternatural powers of persuasion, but I didn’t want to say that in front of her girlfriend. I pulled my skates out of my bag and turned to the other girls. “Everyone but Leya, full protective gear; this is like any other game, except for the part where something in that building is going to try to kill you.”

  “So it’s exactly like every other game,” said Leya, earning nervous laughter from Cylia and Fern.

  “Fern, once you’re geared up, I want you to go inside and do a lap around the place, top speed,” I said. “If you see anything, get out of there, but try to get a good look as you retreat. We need to know what we’re up against.”

  “Okay,” said Fern, and produced her skates.

  “Hang on,” said Carlotta. “Are you sure it’s safe to send her in alone?”

  �
�Trust me,” I said. “Nothing can catch Fern when she pulls out the stops.” As if to prove me right, Fern got her skates on and took off toward the warehouse, moving so fast that she became a pale blonde blur before she disappeared through the open door. I turned back to Carlotta. She was gaping, openmouthed. “See?”

  “I think she just violated a law of physics,” said Carlotta. “Maybe two.”

  “Three, actually, but who’s counting?” I sat down on the pavement, reaching for my own skates and pulling them on. “She’ll be back in a minute. Everyone, gear up, and remember, this is not a drill, but that doesn’t make it a Three Stooges routine. If you’re not sure you can take a shot, don’t take it. If you think you’re in danger, get out. I don’t know what’s in there, I don’t know if we can kill it, but I know we’re going to give it a really good try. Everybody follow?”

  “Today, you’re the team captain,” said Carlotta. “I follow.”

  “Good. How far are you willing to go?” I looked toward Leya, who pressed her lips into a thin line before pulling her shirt off over her head. I nodded, satisfied, and resumed tying my skates.

  “Why is my jammer topless?” demanded Carlotta.

  “I’ll be bottomless in a second,” said Leya.

  “You wanted to be part of this,” I said, and climbed back to my feet. “Helmets on, those of you who need helmets. It’s time to party.”

  • • •

  Fern’s circuit of the warehouse had turned up no monsters. She had spotted several new gouges in the concrete floor, which confirmed Artie’s candidates for the monster in the warehouse: only the manticore and chimera had claws that could cut stone.

  It was dark inside the warehouse, lit only by the thin sunlight filtering in through the skylights. “Fern, lights,” I murmured. “Leya, you’re up.”

  “On it,” said Fern, and darted into the shadows, once again moving almost too fast for the eye to follow.

  Leya didn’t say anything. She just nodded and ran for the track. She shed the remainder of her clothes as she moved, and was naked by the time she cleared the bleachers. “Hoy! Monster!” she shouted, and proceeded to turn inside out. Not literally, but that’s what it looked like, as her skin was suddenly pulled inside her body and replaced by a naked, glistening hide patched with black and orange scales and pierced irregularly by vicious-looking spines.

  Carlotta made a choking sound.

  “Chupacabra,” I said.

  The lights came on. Something in the rafters screamed. I smiled grimly. I couldn’t help myself. It’s hard not to smile when a plan starts coming together.

  My smile died an instant later, when the thing from the rafters hit the track in front of the transformed Leya. “Oh, fuck,” I said, and drew the gun from my duffel bag.

  The creature advancing on Leya was clearly a chimera. It had all the hallmarks: a lion’s head, a goat’s body, a serpent’s tail, and vast, leathery wings just barely in proportion with the rest of it. It was the size of a full-grown bull, and since Leya was about the size of a large coyote, this wasn’t going to be a fair fight. Roller-skating across concrete didn’t put me in the best position to aim, but I wasn’t going for a kill shot, just a distraction. Once I was close enough to be sure I wouldn’t hit Leya, I fired.

  The chimera roared, leonine head swinging around to face me. I fired again for good measure before turning and skating in the opposite direction, heading as fast as I could back toward the other girls. Cylia was already down in a jam position. Carlotta was still standing frozen, staring at the chimera.

  “Move!” I howled. “You’re here to be a distraction, so for the sweet love of fuck, move!”

  All of them scattered, even Carlotta. Fern flashed by, a blur on a mission. I glanced back and saw her slam into the chimera, which was actually knocked sideways by the impact. Her wheels dug gouges into the track before she rebounded and skated away. She must have modified her density at the last second, trading insubstantiality and speed for as much weight as she could summon.

  The chimera bellowed, and bellowed again as Leya leapt out of nowhere and locked her teeth on its left wing. It tried to shake her off and she bit down harder, holding her ground. Cylia skated by, and the chimera struck at her, demonstrating the raw speed it must have used when it killed Holly. Its aim was off, not by much, but just enough that she was able to duck out of the way. That would be her natural luck-eating abilities saving her ass. None of the rest of us could count on anything like that. We’d have to count on what we did have.

  Our incredible skating prowess. I hunkered down, ignoring all known gun safety rules, and skated as fast as I could toward the thing with my pistol out and ready in my hand. Its strike radius couldn’t be greater than the length of its limbs plus the flexibility of its neck. With Leya providing a distraction, the math turned more complex, but in my favor. I was readying myself to fire again when Carlotta skated between me and the chimera, a length of two-by-four in her hand.

  “Where the hell did she get that?” I demanded.

  No one answered me. Carlotta slammed her makeshift weapon into the side of the chimera’s head, shouting, “This is for Tanya!”

  The chimera didn’t even bellow. It casually swatted her aside with one paw, sending her crashing into the bleachers, then shook Leya off its wing as it turned. The chupacabra hit the ground hard, yelping as she slid across the track. Luckily for her, the chimera ignored her in favor of stalking toward the fallen Carlotta.

  Fern was still skating circles around the warehouse, looking for another opening. She was moving at a speed that could have been fatal to anyone as solid as a human. And that gave me an idea.

  “Fern! Cylia!” I shouted. “Whip!”

  The whip is probably the most universally recognized move in derby, thanks to a certain movie starring Drew Barrymore. Your jammer is trying to make it around the track, so you form a living whip of derby girls and lend her some extra speed to put her past any obstacles. It’s effective when it works, and stupid as hell when it doesn’t, and in this case, doing it wrong might get me killed. No pressure.

  Fern slowed enough to grab Cylia by the wrist and tow her around the track to me. Cylia grabbed my hand, flinging me at the chimera as hard as their combined momentum would allow. I stayed low, trying not to lose speed as I hurtled toward the beast. Then, when I was close enough, I unloaded my gun into the back of its head.

  The chimera stopped stalking. The chimera wobbled. And then, with a final-sounding thump, the chimera fell. Which would be when I lost awareness of the events in the warehouse since—thanks to momentum and the blood on the track making it difficult to stop—that was when the chimera fell on me.

  • • •

  I woke up to find Elsie shaking me by the shoulder, a concerned look on her face. I pushed myself up onto my elbows. Nothing felt broken. That could have been the shock talking, but I’d take it. “Anyone dead?” I demanded.

  “No,” she said. “I think Carlotta has a broken collarbone.”

  “The chimera?”

  “That is dead.” Elsie shook her head. “You shot the shit out of that thing.”

  “Overkill can be fun.” I decided to risk sitting up all the way, and looked around. Cylia was near the bleachers chatting with Leya, who was in human form and had put her clothes back on. Fern was skating around the body of the chimera, moving at a more reasonable speed now that the danger was past. Carlotta was sitting by herself. I nodded toward Carlotta. “Is she all right?”

  Elsie sighed. “I don’t know.”

  “Did you tell her . . . ?”

  “That I’m not human? No. We’re not at that stage in our relationship.” Elsie cast another glance toward her girlfriend. “After tonight, we may have to get there pretty soon.”

  “Yeah.” I held out my hands. “Help me up.”

  Elsie tugged me to my feet, and stayed where she was
as I skated slowly over to where Carlotta was sitting. She looked up as I approached.

  “This is why you chose the name Final Girl, isn’t it?” she asked. “Because the world’s full of monsters.”

  “They’re not all monsters,” I said, sitting on the bleachers beside her. “Leya’s not a monster. She’s just a girl who sometimes runs around on all fours for funsies.”

  “Yeah,” said Carlotta. She didn’t sound like she believed me.

  I sighed. “I’m sorry you had to see this.”

  “Holly deserved to have me here.” Carlotta looked up. “Holly deserved to be here.”

  There are no pretty words in this world that will bring back the dead, and so I didn’t even try. I just sat with her, giving her the time she needed to absorb the way her world had changed. I’d call my parents soon, and let them know we had a dead chimera to dispose of. We’d go home, and we’d meet on this track after the blood had been washed away and the gouges had been repaired. That would all happen later. In the moment, I froze, sitting in the mostly empty warehouse, looking at the body of a beautiful monster, and listening to Carlotta cry.

  Fern skated up and sat down on my other side. “We won,” she said. “Yay us.”

  “Yay us,” I agreed. I looked toward the others, motioning for them to come and join us. They did. Without hesitation, they did, settling around us until we formed the bloodiest derby tableau ever. “Teamwork, huh?”

  Carlotta actually laughed through her tears. It was a beautiful sound. “Don’t think this means we’re going easy on you next game.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of it,” I said.

  We were derby girls, and that made us a team that was bigger than labels or league divisions. Nothing—not death, not secrets, not the dead chimera in the middle of the track—was going to change that. And that was pretty cool.