Man Crush Monday

by Kirsty Moseley

I shrug. “I can’t help it if I find intelligence attractive.”

  His answering smile is beautiful. “Know what I find attractive?”

  I shake my head in answer.

  “Girls who find intelligence attractive.” His thumb softly brushes across my cheek, leaving a burning trail in its wake. “I love you.”

  “My favourite three words in the world,” I reply. My heart clenches, and I let out a happy sigh. “I love you too.”

  He leans in and kisses me, just a short, sweet kiss, but pulls back, smiling knowingly when my tummy rumbles. “Shall we eat?”

  “Ah, my second favourite three words in the world,” I reply smartly, which makes him laugh and roll his eyes.

  “I don’t know what to wear. Which looks better—this or the last top?” I ask, looking back at Jared, who’s sitting on the edge of my bed, putting on fresh socks, watching me change from outfit to outfit, my nerves rising with each passing second. I hold the other top in front of me and then move it away again, so he can decide.

  He sighs and shoots me a sympathetic look. “Amy, you look gorgeous. Please, will you just stop stressing?”

  “But I want to make a good impression. I have to get it just right,” I reply, my eyes flicking to my wardrobe again to see if any other meet-the-parents suitable clothing has magically appeared in the last thirty seconds.

  Jared pushes himself up from the bed and walks over to me, wrapping his arms around me from behind, his bare chest pressing against my back, sending ripples of excitement through my body. His eyes meet mine in the mirror. “Amy, they’re going to love you. It doesn’t matter what you wear. Besides, you don’t need to impress anyone, only me. And you do that on a daily basis without even trying.” His eyes are sincere as they lock on to mine.

  My insides dance with happiness as I put my hand over his, interlacing our fingers. “Aww, swoon!”

  He laughs and kisses the side of my neck. “You look gorgeous. Wear that outfit.”

  I smile gratefully and turn my attention back to myself in the mirror. Black bell-style skirt and a fitted pale blue short-sleeved top. “Sure?” I purse my lips in consideration.

  “Sure,” he confirms, kissing my cheek before turning and walking back to the bed, riffling through his overnight bag.

  He pulls out his aftershave and squirts a little on. My senses tingle with happiness as the smell wafts around me. I love it.

  As he pulls a clean black shirt from a hanger and slips it on, buttoning it up, covering up his body so I can no longer sneak pervy glances at him in the mirror, he says, “You know, this whole packing-a-bag thing is getting a little tedious. I keep carting stuff over here all the time. I was thinking, maybe I should just leave some spare stuff here. What do you think?” He doesn’t look at me as he says it, and I glance at the back of his head in the mirror, frowning in confusion.

  “Spare stuff?” I hang my rejected shirt back in my wardrobe.

  “Toothbrush, deodorant, a change of clothes or two …”

  Holy shit. My mouth drops open in shock as I realise what he’s talking about. He wants a drawer. A drawer in my place because he sees himself continuing to stay here often in the future. We are about to cross into the spare-toothbrush stage in our relationship. I want to fist pump the air in celebration, but I force myself to remain nonchalant as I shrug, pretending it’s no big deal and that he hasn’t just made my entire life.

  “Sure, whatever you want.”

  He looks over his shoulder at me, his posture loosening a little as he smiles. “Yeah? Great. You can leave some stuff at mine too, if you want.”

  I smile, loving the offer, but shrug in rejection. “I probably won’t stay at your place much, so there’s no point.”

  I haven’t stayed at Jared’s posh palace apartment yet. My flat is just a ten-minute bike ride from my work; his place is approximately thirty-five minutes. I’m not sure I even have the stamina to ride Bessy that far. It’s just easier for him to stay here. He drives; I don’t. Also, since he often leaves for work before I’m even awake, staying at his place is more of a hindrance than a help.

  I am staying at his place tonight though for the first time, and I’m more than excited about it. Tonight, after the party at his parents’ house, he’s driving us and his brother home, so it makes sense for us to stay at his place rather than just dropping Theo off and then coming back here.

  “Yeah, true.” He nods, seeming thoughtful, and then reaches into his bag, pulling out his wash bag and smiling devilishly at me. “I’m going to go find a spot for my stuff in the bathroom.”

  I laugh at his eagerness and turn back to the mirror, applying last-minute swipes of lip gloss and an extra dot of concealer on the stress-related zit that sprouted today.

  By the time we’re ready to leave and in the car on the way to his parents’ house in Ely, I’m a bundle of nerves. It takes around twenty minutes to get there by car, according to Jared, and I spend at least eighteen of them trying not to hyperventilate. I’ve met parents of a couple of boyfriends before but never a whole family in one go like this. Usually, I wouldn’t be bothered if they liked me or not, but I’ve never been so devastatingly in love with someone before. The old cliché of, What if they don’t like me? is running through my head nonstop. Jared’s parents are smart too; his mum is a chef at a high-end restaurant in Ely, and his dad is an award-winning structural engineer. They are bound to take one look at me, ask me what I do for a living, and decide I am in no way good enough for their son—and they’d be right too. I’m not.

  Jared tries to calm me, saying soothing things and putting his hand on my bouncing knee; he also tries to point out pretty architecture and Ely Cathedral in a bid to distract me, but I’m too lost in my worry to concentrate.

  When we pull up outside his family home, I look up at it and don’t want to get out of the car. My hands fiddle aimlessly. I pick at my manicured nails and cuticles, crunching nonstop on Jared’s car sweets he keeps in the dash even though they taste disgusting because they’re sugar-free.

  Even in the quickly darkening evening light, I can see the house is beautiful. It’s double-fronted with red ivy crawling up the walls and real hardwood windows, not the UPVC stuff. It looks huge and is a far cry from the compact bungalow I grew up in. And the gardens … stunning.

  Jared pulls into a sweeping double-aspect brick-weave driveway and parks off to one side outside a double garage.

  I’m so out of my league here with these people. I feel nauseous, and I look over at Jared, silently begging him to read my mind and drive me straight home again. He reaches over and gently strokes my cheek as he smiles.

  “Come on then, beautiful. Let’s get this over with. They’re going to adore you. Five minutes, and you’ll have them eating out of the palm of your hand.”

  I raise one eyebrow, trying to appear confident. “You think it’ll take me five whole minutes?”

  He laughs and climbs out of the car, heading to the boot. I follow suit, slipping on my black silk bomber jacket and smoothing my skirt, ominously looking up at the house as I step to his side. Jared moves my overnight bag to one side and picks up the gift-wrapped present he’s brought for his dad’s sixtieth birthday. He told me it is a limited-edition film cell from his dad’s favourite movie, Citizen Kane. As he picks it up, the tag flaps in the wind, and I catch sight of the writing. My heart stutters in my chest. The tag reads: To Dad. Happy birthday from us! Love, Jared and Amy. Us. That one little word gives me all the confidence I need to walk into the house with my head held high. Jared called us an us, and his toothbrush is nestled next to mine on my bathroom shelf. All is right in the world.

  The front door is unlocked, so Jared lets himself in, guiding me along behind him. When we step into the house, my eyes dart around, taking everything in. It’s large, high-ceilinged, and decorated beautifully. Soft music plays from out the back, and Jared’s hand tightens on mine as he tugs me into the empty lounge.

  “Wow,” I mutter, looking around in
awe as we walk through the living room and towards a set of open patio doors leading into the garden beyond.

  It’s like a show home. The inglenook fireplace is huge and has an old oak railway sleeper above it that matches the exposed ceiling timbers. My gaze zeroes in on the table that’s been pushed against the wall and is laden with buffet food. I make a mental note on its location for later once the plastic wrapping has been removed.

  As we get to the back doors, I see people, lots of people, and my nerves are back again. Stevie Wonder’s “Superstition” plays softly in the background as I cling to Jared’s hand for dear life. He reassuringly squeezes back, and we step into the fray.

  The garden is lavish and landscaped. Fairy lights have been strung across the fence panels, and gas patio heaters and firepits glow around sporadically, banishing the slight chill of the early November evening. Bowls of cocktails with little labels in front of them garnish the table next to stacks of glasses. There’s a table for gifts, and Jared adds ours to the pile.

  “Jared, darling!”

  I look around, forcing a polite smile onto my face as a lady steps out of the crowd and rushes over to us, her arms outstretched for a hug. I immediately guess this is his mother, Deborah. She’s in her early fifties, I would approximate, and her hair is the exact shade of Jared’s, but her eyes are blue. She’s dressed impeccably in a gorgeous midnight-blue dress that I would hazard was very expensive. She engulfs Jared in a hug, and her eyes meet mine over his shoulder.

  Her smile widens as she pulls back and turns to me. “And you must be Amy!”

  I smile and extend my hand for a shake, but instead of taking it, she pulls me into a tight hug, awkwardly trapping my hand between us. My eyes widen in shock as I cop an accidental feel of her breasts.

  “It’s so lovely to meet you, dear. Jared hardly ever brings anyone home for us to meet. I think he’s secretly ashamed of us.” She pulls back and winks at me as she holds me at arm’s length, obviously looking me over.

  I feel my face flood with heat under the intense scrutiny.

  “Oh, you look adorable. That skirt is to die for! You must tell me where you got it from,” she continues. I look down at it and open my mouth to answer, but she loops her arm through mine and turns, pulling me forward. “Kenneth! Look, Jared brought his girlfriend!” She waves a hand at me, grinning excitedly as Jared’s dad looks over at us. “This is Amy. Isn’t she gorgeous?”

  “Mum, take it easy, okay? You’re traumatising her,” Jared says, but I can hear the amusement in his tone. He raises one eyebrow at me. “Five minutes was a bit of an overestimate.”

  I chuckle and silently wonder what he’s told her about me.

  In the space of ten minutes, I’m introduced to everyone from grandads to next-door neighbours to family friends. The whole time, Deborah’s arm is securely looped through mine as she parades me around the party, explaining who everyone is. Jared trails along behind us, glass of mocktail in his hand the same shade as my deadly cocktail I’m reservedly sipping on.

  We’ve been there almost an hour when Carys, Jared’s six-year-old niece, grumbles, “Grandma, when’s Theo going to arrive?”

  “I don’t know, dear.” Deborah shrugs and checks her watch before looking at Jared. “You should have brought him along with you. At this rate, he’ll turn up just as the candles are blown out on the cake.”

  Jared shrugs. “He was working on some project. Said he’d be here once he finished it. You know what he’s like when he’s on a deadline. I haven’t seen him for a couple of days. I’ve been at Amy’s.”

  I smile at that and watch as Carys groans loudly and kicks her feet in impatience. When the song changes to Chubby Checker’s “The Twist,” I can’t resist bopping along to the beat and grin over at her, knowing exactly how to alleviate her boredom. When I hold out my hands to her, her face lights up as she eagerly slips her hands into mine, and we both start doing the twist right in the middle of the garden. Within seconds, Deborah and a few of the other guests have joined in, and we’re all twisting the night away. Jared watches from the sidelines, not joining in, but regarding me with a proud smile that I feel all the way down to my toes.

  Mid-dance of the next song, Emily, Jared’s older sister, walks back into the garden, sneakily popping a sausage roll into her mouth. “Theo’s just pulled up in a taxi.”

  Carys lets out a delighted squeal and turns on her heel, abandoning the dancing as she shouts, “Funcle Theo!” and pelts into the house to see him.

  I laugh at her excitement, and Deborah smiles.

  “Funcle as in fun uncle,” she explains.

  “Something I’m not, apparently,” Jared chimes in, rolling his eyes, but there’s a smile at the corner of his mouth, so I know he’s not taken offence to it.

  Over the music, I can hear Carys talking inside the house, their voices growing louder as they approach. “Jared brought a girlfriend! Just wait until you meet her,” I hear Carys gush. “She’s like a pretty doll. I like her! I think she’s going to be an aunticorn.”

  “What’s an aunticorn?” Theo asks.

  “Like a normal aunt crossed with a unicorn. So, like a regular aunt but better, basically,” Carys explains.

  “Basically,” Theo repeats, laughing. “Come on then, squirt. Now that I’m here, the party can start.”

  I chuckle and turn towards the patio doors, smiling in anticipation. I’m excited to meet his brother; we’ve never actually met because he wasn’t home the one time I was at their apartment. I wait a few seconds, and then Carys comes skipping out, beaming ecstatically.

  My eyes flick up, and behind her, out steps … Jared.

  Except Jared is standing next to me and holding my hand. I frown, looking between the two of them, and then my mouth pops open in shock as it suddenly hits me.

  “Holy crap. You’re twins!” I cry excitedly.

  They’re the spitting image of each other, a perfect double, identical. Except that Jared is all pressed edges and immaculate neatness, and Theo is in ripped jeans, a Little Shop of Horrors T-shirt, and has ink stains all over his fingers.

  “Did I not tell you that?” Jared asks, looking down at me quizzically.

  I shake my head and continue to look between the two of them in awe. “No! When we spoke about family before, you just said you had a brother and a sister. No one mentioned anything about twins.”

  Deborah clicks her tongue and rolls her eyes. “You know why? Just in case you were wanting a baby, he didn’t want to let the cat out of the bag about twins running in the family in case it scared you away. Would have frightened me away for sure,” she jokes, winking at me.

  Jared groans next to me. “Mum, seriously? Why are you like this?”

  I chuckle and slip my arm around his waist, loving how I fit just right under his arm.

  Theo is all smiles as he steps into the garden and greets his uncle and godfather, who are chatting by the door, offering big hugs and warm welcomes. When his eyes scan the crowd and he sees us all grouped together, his grin widens, and his eyes twinkle.

  He marches over and pulls his mum and dad into a bear hug before kissing his sister on the cheek.

  “Oh, finally, he graces us with his presence,” Deborah teases.

  Theo shrugs. “Better late than never, am I right?” He shoots her a smug smile before hugging his dad again. “Happy birthday, you old git.”

  I chuckle and stand back a little, not wanting to intrude, but Jared wraps his arm around me and pulls me forward again, smiling down at me.

  His arm squeezes my waist as he gestures towards me. “Theo, this is Amy. The girl I’ve been telling you about.” Jared nods to his brother.

  I beam a smile at him, hoping to God I get his approval, too, because, so far, I seem to have won over the rest of them. Theo’s gaze lands on me. I see his eyes tighten, and his easy grin falters for a second. His mouth pops open and then closed again as he comically looks from me to Jared and back again. He clears his throat and nods, a
thin-lipped smile gracing his lips now.

  “Actually, we’ve kind of already met. Amy is the conductor on the train I get on to London twice a month, though I didn’t know her name until you just said it.”

  That’s all it takes. Just one heartbeat for my world to fall apart. At his words, realisation smashes into me with the force of a wrecking ball. I literally feel the heat drain from my body as my eyes widen in horror.

  Theo has been my Man Crush Monday all this time. Not Jared, but his twin brother.

  nineteen

  The air around me seems to disappear as my heart stops and then starts back up triple time.

  Not only is Theo my crush from the train, but … I also kissed him! Two weeks ago, on the train. I kissed him. It wasn’t Jared. I kissed Theo.

  The horror is building inside me, and I feel sweat breaking out all over my body.

  Jared frowns down at me quizzically. “You’ve already met?”

  I open my mouth, praying words will come … but I’ve got nothing.

  Thankfully, Theo jumps in and saves the day. “Only once or twice. I noticed her hair; that’s all.” His tone is dismissive and nonchalant, and I see Jared nod in satisfaction. Theo holds out a hand towards me, his whiskey-coloured eyes, an exact replica of Jared’s, burning into mine. “It’s nice to officially meet you.”

  His gaze is penetrating, as if he’s silently trying to tell me something, but my brain has turned to mush.

  My eyes flick up to Jared. He’s smiling happily. He knows nothing.

  Oh no, what do I do?

  Around me, everyone is watching the exchange, and I become painfully aware that I’m standing there, frozen in horror, mouth agape, staring. I force myself to move, lifting my hand and putting it in his offered one, shaking it. “You too.” My voice is barely above a whisper.

  Tears are burning in my eyes. I need to leave. I’m about to lose it. My mind is whirling.

  Jared looks down at me, his arm tightening on my waist in prompt. “Okay?”

  I give an awkward nod and force a smile. “Yeah, yeah,” I lie. “I just actually really need the bathroom. I think the alcohol has gone to my head.” I exaggeratedly roll my eyes and look down at my empty cocktail glass.