by Kelsey King
I'm teased with a small voice in my head telling me I should never let my guard down with any man and hope this feeling isn’t false. Every relationship I’ve had has been followed with terror heartbreak. This negative voice has taken the spotlight in my thoughts for so long; I tend to forget that it could come from my fears, not logic. I think I'm destined to be alone. Though I'm only nineteen, I feel almost hopeless when it comes to love.
Despite that realization, my guard is instantly up, and I quickly move the chair to where I can see the kitchen, so there are no surprises. I see Maddox exit the kitchen and is coming right toward me. He's attractive, and muscles cascade down his stomach. He moves his messy hair from his face and my heart rate suddenly spikes and I can feel my shoulders tense. I let the book fall in my lap and grip the arms of the chair.
“You okay, princess?”
I want to respond, but I realize my jaw is clenched tight. I wasn’t even aware I was doing it. But I can’t help it when he’s standing in front of me shirtless allowing my imagination to roam. Though I’m a virgin, fantasies of him taking me right here on the floor fills my mind. I open and close my mouth, unable to speak as I squeeze my legs together.
“Right, well breakfast is ready if you’re hungry. I suggest eating when it’s hot since it usually doesn’t taste too good cold.”
Still, no response from me. All I can do is nod.
I watch him shake his head and walk away. I can’t seem to control my emotions. I get up from the chair and run into my room and then the bathroom. Once inside, I slam the door and lean against it, trying to catch my breath. After a few moments, I feel a little better and walk over to the sink to splash cold water on my face. The room is already cold, but I'm suddenly burning up. I was hoping cold water would cool me down and to snap me out of this. There’s something that’s pulling me to him, and I can't help what I'm feeling. I hope I don't make a fool out of myself.
Not ready to leave yet, I sink to the floor and sit there. This man has already bore himself into me, and the want I feel is ridiculous. My nipples harden as I sit on the floor, thinking about him placing one of my hard peaks in his mouth. I force the thoughts away and pull myself up to look in the mirror. I groan inwardly at the reflection staring back at me.
Needing to do something, I pull my hair into a side braid and use some chapstick that’s on the counter. I press my lips together and tuck loose strands of hair behind my ears. Feeling like I'm finally pulled together, I leave the bathroom and head towards the bedroom door. Faintly, I hear Maddox pacing the floor and decide I need to take a few more moments to gather myself. I sit on the end of the bed looking into a dead fireplace, wrapping my arms around myself, wishing things were different.
If I were another girl and he was a different guy, maybe we’d have a chance in hell. But the fantasy is much more enjoyable than the reality. Maddox doesn't want me here, and I feel homesick. Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do, and I hate being a burden.
Chapter Six
Maddox
What the hell is wrong her? One would think I was going to murder her by the way she was looking at me. I can’t figure out what happened. I’ve been doing my best to keep my distance and to limit the amount of interaction. I honestly don’t need or want a distraction of any kind. Her being here is throwing me off. It's been years since a female has been in my home and it just doesn't feel right having her here, even after all this time.
I finish my breakfast and take care of my plate and Taylor still is in her room. I don't want to care, but it concerns me that she bolted off and didn't eat while it was warm. Pissing me off, really. I decide to try and get her to come out to eat once more before putting the remaining food in the fridge. I pace back and forth a few times, thinking about how to approach her. The last thing I need is to have her hide all day because I was too mean asking her to eat.
I knock on the door as light as I can and wait to hear a response. Nothing. I knock once more with no answer. Curiosity gets the best of me, and I lean my ear against the door to see if I can hear her moving around. To my surprise, I hear her crying. I'm baffled. I'm a mix of being surprised she's acting this way. I start racking my brain to try to remember if something happened last night to upset or scare her, but nothing comes to mind.
Knowing I should walk away, I stand there and wait because I can't let this go, not when she's upset. We are going to be stuck here for who knows how long and we're going to have to get along.
When I know my temper isn’t going to get the best of me, I knock one more time. No response, again.
“I’m coming in, princess!”
Again, no response. So, I try the handle, and when I feel it's unlocked, I slowly open the door. I'm half expecting to get hit in the head with a lamp, but am surprised to see the room is dark and Taylor is sitting on the bed, weeping into her hands. Now I feel as though I'm in uncharted territory and regret ever opening the door.
What did I expect to find? I knew she was crying, but when I walked into the room, the energy was so sad and unexpected. I'm frozen, just watching her shoulders jump up and down slightly with her sobs, not wanting to make anything worse. I know I will look like an idiot if I walk back out of the room, so I take a deep breath and slowly walk towards the bed and sit next to Taylor. I make sure not to touch her, even though my instinct was to wrap my arm around her.
It's hard to see her like this. She has been so confident and feisty, and now she looks sad and beaten down. I give her a few more moments to try to control her tears. Once I hear that she's at the end of it, I decide to try to talk to her and find out what brought all of this on.
“Hey, princess, what’s all this about?”
She says nothing. I watch her as she wipes her eyes and takes a deep breath. She stares into her lap, playing with her fingers, avoiding any eye contact. I know she's trying to compose herself, but I'm also wondering if me being so close is causing an issue. I decide to not jump to conclusions and to let her talk.
“Is there something I’ve done to cause all of this?”
She just quietly shakes her head.
“I need you to talk to me. You can’t just hide in here all day.”
With this, she looks over at me and glares.
"Or maybe you can. Look we’re going to be stuck together for days, so we're going to have to help each other and get along."
She still doesn’t respond.
“Okay. I get the hint. I’ll leave you be.” I let out a deep breath in exasperation and shake my head before getting up and walking out of the room.
I pace the floor and think of something I can do to keep me busy. I decide to check out the weather and see just how bad the snow has gotten overnight. Maybe it isn’t as bad as they thought and she can head home. I click on the news, but there are no updated reports on the weather at the time. Wanting to see for myself, I walk to the front door and am expecting to see a few added inches, if that. But what I see is nowhere near what I expected. I'm looking at a blanket of snow that is well over five inches on my porch, which is already a foot off the ground, and the snow is still coming down at a steady pace. Shit.
Realizing the storm is on its way to breaking records, I know Taylor isn’t going anywhere any time soon. This could end up being problematic if things didn’t turn around, and fast. I run my hands through my hair and look at her door one more time, almost willing her to come out. When she doesn’t, I give up.
I sit, and I turn my chair, so it's facing the fireplace, leaving my back to Taylor, and settle in to read. I welcome the warmth of the fire and let the words on the page swallow me up.
The snow is falling and making everything beautiful and bright. Winter in the mountains has always been my favorite, and I'm so excited I get to experience with her. I step out onto the porch at taking it all in. Once I'm satisfied with my surroundings, I make my way to the garage to let her know lunch is ready. I make long strides to make it harder for her follow because I know she loves to try to walk in
my footprints. Laughing at myself and what I must look like, I make it to the shed and stomp my feet in the mat as soon as I open the door.
“Honey, lunch is ready. You better come and get it before I eat it all!”
I laugh at myself again and look up to find the workshop empty. I walk deeper into the garage, looking in every nook and cranny, knowing she likes to jump out and scare me. Well, she tries to anyway. Once I know I have looked in every possible hiding place, my heart sinks to my stomach. Where could she be? I hurry back to the door and slam it shut as I run back into the house and look all around for her. I track snow all over the hardwood floors, knowing I will catch hell for it later, but at the moment I really could care less. Again, she's nowhere to be found, not even in the loft.
I run back outside and start yelling her name as loud as I can. Both cars are sitting in front of the house, and the snowmobiles were tucked safely in the garage. I start to round the corner to the side if the house and….. Whack! I'm hit in the head with a snowball. Once I was over the shock of the onslaught, I hear her adorable giggle and instantly know she's the culprit. Before I can even take a step towards her, I'm hit with another snowball. Her laughing is endless, and she looks like an angel in the falling snow, and it seems as if the sun was shining just on her as her own, personal spotlight,
I dip down as fast I can to gather my snowball and throw it at her as soon as I straighten back out.
“Oh! You’re gonna get it now Maddox!”
My heart is so full knowing she's so happy. I watch her gather snow for the largest snowball I have seen. She struggled to throw it but managed to get it into the air in my direction. I turn my head to avoid getting hit in the face only to have it hit me in the leg.
“You’ve done it now, Angel! You’re gonna be sorry you threw that!”
I bend down to gather my mega snowball and realize I can no longer hear her laughing. Confused, I straighten and look in the direction she was standing, only to find it empty. There weren't even any footprints to indicate anyone else was in the yard. What’s going on? She must be hiding again. I drop the snow and walk around to the back of the house, then around to the opposite side and return to the front of the house. She was nowhere.
“Wendy! This isn’t funny, come out!”
She doesn’t respond. She’s nowhere in sight. And just like that, my love is gone.
Chapter Seven
Taylor
As soon as Maddox closes the door, a new wave of tears washes over me. I’m hormonal, emotional, and sad. I know he hates me. I miss my parents. It’s been a long time since I’ve broken down and it's embarrassing beyond belief that it’s happening here, but I can only be so strong for so long. Who knows what Maddox thinks of me now. He’s probably praying this storm will pass as soon as possible so he can get rid of me. I can’t show my face to him. Not right now, anyway.
Deciding to stay in my dark cocoon, I wrap the quilt around me tighter and then climb under the blankets on the bed. I wasn't about to ask Maddox to make a fire for me. I want to fall asleep and start all over. I close my eyes and let the darkness swallow me up, hoping to wake up in a lot better mood.
I fall asleep for a while, and I shoot straight up, screaming. I look all around me and notice I'm surrounded in darkness, and a huge man is sitting next to me on the bed. Still, in panic mode, I slap him across the face and struggle to get out of my prison of blankets. I feel his arm on me as I struggle and just still. I'm dead. This is it. Tears are streaming down my face, and I'm trying to wrap my head around what is about to happen.
“Taylor, it’s me. It’s Maddox. Wake up, princess.”
His words are soft and comforting. I blink a few times in confusion as I look up at the man talking to me. I look around once more and start to recognize the room I'm in. Maddox. The snow storm. That's right. I take a few deep breaths and wipe the tears from my eyes.
“Sorry. I must’ve been having a bad dream.”
“Bad dream? You were having a nightmare.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I have them sometimes.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Maddox searches over me.
“Definitely not!” I pull the blanket closer to me while I try to compose myself. Maddox doesn’t try to move and is lightly rubbing my back for comfort. Surprisingly, it's helping. How embarrassing. First, he sees me crying my eyes out, and now he has witnessed a full-fledged nightmare. What else could go wrong? When I know I'm fine; I calmly unwrap myself from the covers.
“Um, do you think you’d make a fire for me? I’m just going to take a few moments in the bathroom.”
“Yeah, sure.”
With that, Maddox gets up and leaves the room. I make my way to the bathroom and lightly close the door. I turn on the light and look in the mirror. There are times when I don't recognize the face staring back at me, and this is one of those times. My eyes are red and puffy from crying, and my hair is all over the place. My skin is pale, and I look like death. Hoping some warm water will bring life back to my complexion, I splash some over my face and lightly pat dry with a towel. I fix my hair, so it isn't quite as crazy, but decide to leave it up. Peaking in the drawers of the bathroom, I'm relieved to find some lotion and rub a little into my cheeks and around my eyes. I start to feel a bit better and take a deep breath before opening the door.
When I come back into the bedroom, Maddox is on his knees and just finished lighting the logs. Once the fire comes to life, he stands and looks at me. I know Maddox's watching me, but I'm not ready to see him yet, so I stare into the flames with my arms wrapped around my middle. Without saying a word, he moves to the bed to gather the quilt and brings it over to me. Almost as if he was approaching a wild animal, he holds the blanket out to show his intentions. When I don’t move, or make a sound, Maddox closes the distance and wraps the fabric around my shoulders and lightly rubs them in an attempt to help warm me up.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Are you feeling a little better?”
“Yes. I’m sorry you had to see that. I don’t know what came over me. I think I’m just homesick.”
“I just needed to know if it was something I did.”
“No. Nothing. In all honesty, you’ve been great. Even when you’re grouchy.”
With that, he chuckles a little. The room is quiet once more as we try to find a way out of this uncomfortable situation. Not able to stand it, I break the silence.
“What time is it anyway? How long have I been sleeping?”
“It’s about three thirty. Actually, I fell asleep too. Are you hungry? You never ate breakfast.”
“I'm starving.” I smile. Just the mere mention of food has my stomach rumbling. Maddox must’ve heard it because he lifts his eyebrows and laughs.
“Alright, let’s grab some grub. I have the stuff to make sandwiches.”
“Sounds perfect.”
We make our way out of the bedroom toward the kitchen. Maddox gestures for me to sit at the table while he gets everything together for our sandwiches. I answer his questions as he asks me how I like my food. It's calming to be in the kitchen with him, watching him make us a meal as if he has done it a million times before. It's an odd, euphoric feeling considering. But somehow deep down, I know there's something more about him, but I know I'm safe with him—a gentle giant. This thought makes me smile, and I settle in to watch him finish our meal. Maybe this could’ve been the best thing to happen to me.
Chapter Eight
Maddox
Getting Taylor to eat and sit and have a conversation feels like a victory. We were thrown into this situation not knowing anything about each other, and though I was determined to stay as far away as possible and I didn't want to get to know her, I find myself intrigued by her. I'm very curious about this woman. When I met her in the store, I never would've imagined she was fighting her demons. But I guess that's why they say you can't judge a book by its cover. I wonder what she thought of when she first met me. Well, maybe I don
't.
My ghosts may be different than hers, but the effects seem to be the same. Maybe, we could help each other. It could be a long shot, but I now think that if we share our stories, we could help each other get through our storms to where we can function better with others—me, more than her. It could be the stress of the storm and being away from home, but I feel like it’s deeper than that.
I find it odd that I even want to talk about my issues. With anyone. I have been perfectly fine staying in my bubble and not having to be around anyone else. There’s something about Taylor, though, that makes me feel comfortable. She makes me want to open up. And that is very strange considering the very little interaction we have had thus far and most of which have either been us arguing or her crying. I can’t explain it, but I'm determined to pinpoint it. I'm just downright curious about her.
As I watched her eat earlier, the sun came through the window and hit her hair just right showing a slight tint of red. And the way the small pieces of hair that fell from her braid made her look so carefree and even sexy. I could tell she was trying to be reserved and shy by the way she's eating. She was very careful to take her time and not to make a mess. Between bites, though, I caught her licking her lips and then biting her bottom lip, just slightly. For some reason, this tiny thing had me going crazy. I’ve never been a man to notice such a gesture, and it was amplified. Now I can’t get it out of my head.
Even now, while we sit quietly by the fire, her on the couch and me in my chair, the thought of her is filling my head. She’s curled up with the quilt and reading, holding a warm cup of tea, oblivious to the fact that I'm watching her. All I want is to see her bite her lip once more in such a shy, innocent manner, to see if it affects me the same way as it had earlier. She starts to stir a little, so I quickly look down to my book, not wanting to get caught staring. I can't even remember what I'm reading and find I'm not even reading the words. My mind is stuck on her, and I cannot distract myself. I need to. My thoughts are interrupted by her beautiful voice.