The Provost

by John Galt

  Neither the bailie, nor those that were then sitting with him, couldspeak any French language, and "the alien enemy" was as little master ofour tongue. I have often wondered how the bailie did not jealouse thathe could be no spy, seeing how, in that respect, he wanted the mainfaculty. But he was under the enchantment of a panic, partly thinkingalso, perhaps, that he was to do a great exploit for the government in myabsence.

  However, the man was brought before him, and there was he, and them all,speaking loud out to one another as if they had been hard of hearing,when I, on my coming home from Kilmarnock, went to see what was going onin the council. Considering that the procedure had been in handsome timebefore my arrival, I thought it judicious to leave the whole businesswith those present, and to sit still as a spectator; and really it wasvery comical to observe how the bailie was driven to his wit's-end by thepoor lean and yellow Frenchman, and in what a pucker of passion thepannel put himself at every new interlocutor, none of which he couldunderstand. At last, the bailie, getting no satisfaction--how couldhe?--he directed the man's portmanty and bundle to be opened; and in thebottom of the forementioned package, there, to be sure, was found many amystical and suspicious paper, which no one could read; among others,there was a strange map, as it then seemed to all present.

  "I' gude faith," cried the bailie, with a keckle of exultation, "here'sproof enough now. This is a plain map o' the Frith o' Clyde, all the wayto the tail of the bank o' Greenock. This muckle place is Arran; thatround ane is the craig of Ailsa; the wee ane between is Plada. Gentlemen,gentlemen, this is a sore discovery; there will be hanging and quarteringon this." So he ordered the man to be forthwith committed as a king'sprisoner to the tolbooth; and turning to me, said:--"My lord provost, asye have not been present throughout the whole of this troublesome affair,I'll e'en gie an account mysel to the lord advocate of what we havedone." I thought, at the time, there was something fey and overlyforward in this, but I assented; for I know not what it was, that seemedto me as if there was something neither right nor regular; indeed, to saythe truth, I was no ill pleased that the bailie took on him what he did;so I allowed him to write himself to the lord advocate; and, as thesequel showed, it was a blessed prudence on my part that I did so. Forno sooner did his lordship receive the bailie's terrifying letter, than aspecial king's messenger was sent to take the spy into Edinburgh Castle;and nothing could surpass the great importance that Bailie Booble made ofhimself, on the occasion, on getting the man into a coach, and twodragoons to guard him into Glasgow.

  But oh! what a dejected man was the miserable Bailie Booble, and what alaugh rose from shop and chamber, when the tidings came out fromEdinburgh that, "the alien enemy" was but a French cook coming over fromDublin, with the intent to take up the trade of a confectioner inGlasgow, and that the map of the Clyde was nothing but a plan for theoutset of a fashionable table--the bailie's island of Arran being theroast beef, and the craig of Ailsa the plum-pudding, and Plada a butter-boat. Nobody enjoyed the jocularity of the business more than myself;but I trembled when I thought of the escape that my honour and characterhad with the lord advocate. I trow, Bailie Booble never set himself soforward from that day to this.

  CHAPTER XIII--THE MEAL MOB

  After the close of the American war, I had, for various reasons of aprivate nature, a wish to sequestrate myself for a time, from any veryostensible part in public affairs. Still, however, desiring to retain amean of resuming my station, and of maintaining my influence in thecouncil, I bespoke Mr Keg to act in my place as deputy for My Lord, whowas regularly every year at this time chosen into the provostry.

  This Mr Keg was a man who had made a competency by the Isle-of-Man trade,and had come in from the laighlands, where he had been apparently in thefarming line, to live among us; but for many a day, on account ofsomething that happened when he was concerned in the smuggling, he kepthimself cannily aloof from all sort of town matters; deporting himselfwith a most creditable sobriety; in so much, that there was at one time asough that Mr Pittle, the minister, our friend, had put him on the leetfor an elder. That post, however, if it was offered to him, he certainlynever accepted; but I jealouse that he took the rumour o't for a signthat his character had ripened into an estimation among us, for hethenceforth began to kithe more in public, and was just a patron to everymanifestation of loyalty, putting more lights in his windows in therejoicing nights of victory than any other body, Mr M'Creesh, thecandlemaker, and Collector Cocket, not excepted. Thus, in the fulness oftime, he was taken into the council, and no man in the whole corporationcould be said to be more zealous than he was. In respect, therefore, tohim, I had nothing to fear, so far as the interests, and, over and aboveall, the loyalty of the corporation, were concerned; but something like aquailing came over my heart, when, after the breaking up of the councilon the day of election, he seemed to shy away from me, who had beeninstrumental to his advancement. However, I trow he had soon reason torepent of that ingratitude, as I may well call it; for when the troublesof the meal mob came upon him, I showed him that I could keep my distanceas well as my neighbours.

  It was on the Friday, our market-day, that the hobleshow began, and inthe afternoon, when the farmers who had brought in their victual for salewere loading their carts to take it home again, the price not having comeup to their expectation. All the forenoon, as the wives that went to themeal-market, came back railing with toom pocks and basins, it might havebeen foretold that the farmers would have to abate their extortion, orthat something would come o't before night. My new house and shop beingforenent the market, I had noted this, and said to Mrs Pawkie, my wife,what I thought would be the upshot, especially when, towards theafternoon, I observed the commonality gathering in the market-place, andno sparing in their tongues to the farmers; so, upon her advice, Idirected Thomas Snakers to put on the shutters.

  Some of the farmers were loading their carts to go home, when the schoolsskailed, and all the weans came shouting to the market. Still nothinghappened, till tinkler Jean, a randy that had been with the army at thesiege of Gibraltar, and, for aught I ken, in the Americas, if no in theIndies likewise;--she came with her meal-basin in her hand, swearing,like a trooper, that if she didna get it filled with meal atfifteen-pence a peck, (the farmers demanded sixteen), she would have thefu' o't of their heart's blood; and the mob of thoughtless weans and idlefellows, with shouts and yells, encouraged Jean, and egged her on to acatastrophe. The corruption of the farmers was thus raised, and a youngrash lad, the son of James Dyke o' the Mount, whom Jean was blackguardingat a dreadful rate, and upbraiding on account of some ploy he had hadwith the Dalmailing session anent a bairn, in an unguarded moment liftedhis hand, and shook his neive in Jean's face, and even, as she said,struck her. He himself swore an affidavit that he gave her only a dingout of his way; but be this as it may, at him rushed Jean with openmouth, and broke her timbermeal-basin on his head, as it had been an egg-shell. Heaven only knows what next ensued; but in a jiffy the wholemarket-place was as white with scattered meal as if it had been coveredwith snow, and the farmers were seen flying helter skelter out at thetownhead, pursued by the mob, in a hail and whirlwind of stones andglaur. Then the drums were heard beating to arms, and the soldiers wereseen flying to their rendezvous. I stood composedly at the dining-roomwindow, and was very thankful that I wasna provost in such a hurricane,when I saw poor Mr Keg, as pale as a dish clout, running to and frobareheaded, with the town-officers and their halberts at his heels,exhorting and crying till he was as hoarse as a crow, to the angrymultitude, that was raging and tossing like a sea in the market-place.Then it was that he felt the consequence of his pridefulness towards me;for, observing me standing in serenity at the window, he came, and in avehement manner cried to me for the love of heaven to come to hisassistance, and pacify the people. It would not have been proper in meto have refused; so out I went in the very nick of time: for when I gotto the door, there was the soldiers in battle array, coming marching withfife and drum up the gai
t with Major Blaze at their head, red and furiousin the face, and bent on some bloody business. The first thing I did wasto run to the major, just as he was facing the men for a "chargebagonets" on the people, crying to him to halt; for the riot act wasnayet read, and the murder of all that might be slain would lie at hisdoor; at which to hear he stood aghast, and the men halted. Then I flewback to the provost, and I cried to him, "Read the riot act!" which someof the mob hearing, became terrified thereat, none knowing the penaltiesor consequences thereof, when backed by soldiers; and in a moment, as ifthey had seen the glimpse of a terrible spirit in the air, the wholemultitude dropped the dirt and stones out of their hands, and, turningtheir backs, flew into doors and closes, and were skailed before we knewwhere we were. It is not to be told the laud and admiration that I gotfor my ability in this business; for the major was so well pleased tohave been saved from a battle, that, at my suggestion, he wrote anaccount of the whole business to the commander-in-chief, assuring himthat, but for me, and my great weight and authority in the town, nobodycould tell what the issue might have been; so that the Lord Advocate, towhom the report was shown by the general, wrote me a letter of thanks inthe name of the government; and I, although not provost, was thus seenand believed to be a person of the foremost note and consideration in thetown.

  But although the mob was dispersed, as I have related, the consequencesdid not end there; for, the week following, none of the farmers broughtin their victual; and there was a great lamentation and moaning in themarket-place when, on the Friday, not a single cart from the country wasto be seen, but only Simon Laidlaw's, with his timber caps and luggies;and the talk was, that meal would be half-a-crown the peck. The grief,however, of the business wasna visible till the Saturday--the wonted dayfor the poor to seek their meat--when the swarm of beggars that cameforth was a sight truly calamitous. Many a decent auld woman that hadpatiently eiked out the slender thread of a weary life with her wheel, inprivacy, her scant and want known only to her Maker, was seen going fromdoor to door with the salt tear in her e'e, and looking in the face ofthe pitiful, being as yet unacquainted with the language of beggary; butthe worst sight of all was two bonny bairns, dressed in their best, of agenteel demeanour, going from house to house like the hungry babes in thewood: nobody kent who they were, nor whar they came from; but as I wasseeing them served myself at our door, I spoke to them, and they told methat their mother was lying sick and ill at home. They were the orphansof a broken merchant from Glasgow, and, with their mother, had come outto our town the week before, without knowing where else to seek theirmeat.

  Mrs Pawkie, who was a tender-hearted mother herself, took in the bairnson hearing this, and we made of them, and the same night, among ouracquaintance, we got a small sum raised to assist their mother, whoproved a very well-bred and respectable lady-like creature. When she gotbetter, she was persuaded to take up a school, which she kept for someyears, with credit to herself and benefit to the community, till she gota legacy left her by a brother that died in India, the which, being somethousands, caused her to remove into Edinburgh, for the better educationof her own children; and its seldom that legacies are so well bestowed,for she never forgot Mrs Pawkie's kindness, and out of the fore-end ofher wealth she sent her a very handsome present. Divers matters ofelegance have come to us from her, year by year, since syne, andregularly on the anniversary day of that sore Saturday, as the Saturdayfollowing the meal mob was ever after called.

  CHAPTER XIV--THE SECOND PROVOSTRY

  I have had occasion to observe in the course of my experience, that thereis not a greater mollifier of the temper and nature of man than aconstant flowing in of success and prosperity. From the time that I hadbeen dean of guild, I was sensible of a considerable increase of myworldly means and substance; and although Bailie M'Lucre played me asoople trick at the election, by the inordinate sale and roup of hispotatoe-rig, the which tried me, as I do confess, and nettled me withdisappointment; yet things, in other respects, went so well with me that,about the eighty-eight, I began to put forth my hand again into publicaffairs, endowed both with more vigour and activity than it was in thefirst period of my magisterial functions. Indeed, it may be here properfor me to narrate, that my retiring into the background during the lasttwo or three years, was a thing, as I have said, done on maturedeliberation; partly, in order that the weight of my talents might berightly estimated; and partly, that men might, of their own reflections,come to a proper understanding concerning them. I did not secede fromthe council. Could I have done that with propriety, I would assuredlynot have scrupled to make the sacrifice; but I knew well that, if I wasto resign, it would not be easy afterwards to get myself again chosen in.In a word, I was persuaded that I had, at times, carried things a littletoo highly, and that I had the adversary of a rebellious feeling in theminds and hearts of the corporation against me. However, what I did,answered the end and purpose I had in view; folk began to wonder andthink with themselves, what for Mr Pawkie had ceased to bestir himself inpublic affairs; and the magistrates and council having, on two or threeoccasions, done very unsatisfactory things, it was said by one, andechoed by another, till the whole town was persuaded of the fact, that,had I lent my shoulder to the wheel, things would not have been as theywere. But the matter which did the most service to me at this time, wasa rank piece of idolatry towards my lord, on the part of Bailie M'Lucre,who had again got himself most sickerly installed in the guildry. Sundrytacks came to an end in this year of eighty-eight; and among others, theNiggerbrae park, which, lying at a commodious distance from the town,might have been relet with a rise and advantage. But what did the deanof guild do? He, in some secret and clandestine manner, gave a hint tomy lord's factor to make an offer for the park on a two nineteen years'lease, at the rent then going--the which was done in my lord's name, hislordship being then provost. The Niggerbrae was accordingly let to him,at the same rent which the town received for it in the sixty-nine.Nothing could be more manifest than that there was some jookerie cookeriein this affair; but in what manner it was done, or how the dean ofguild's benefit was to ensue, no one could tell, and few were able toconjecture; for my lord was sorely straitened for money, and had nothingto spare out of hand. However, towards the end of the year, a lightbroke in upon us.

  Gabriel M'Lucre, the dean of guild's fifth son, a fine spirited laddie,somehow got suddenly a cadetcy to go to India; and there wereuncharitably-minded persons, who said, that this was the payment for theNiggerbrae job to my lord. The outcry, in consequence, both against thedean of guild, and especially against the magistrates and council forconsenting thereto, was so extraordinary, and I was so openly upbraidedfor being so long lukewarm, that I was, in a manner, forced again forwardto take a prominent part; but I took good care to let it be well known,that, in resuming my public faculties, I was resolved to take my own way,and to introduce a new method and reformation into all our concerns.Accordingly, at the Michaelmas following, that is, in the eighty-nine, Iwas a second time chosen to the provostry, with an understanding, that Iwas to be upheld in the office and dignity for two years; and that sundryimprovements, which I thought the town was susceptible of, both in thecausey of the streets and the reparation of the kirk, should be set aboutunder my direction; but the way in which I handled the same, and broughtthem to a satisfactory completeness and perfection, will supply abundantmatter for two chapters.

  CHAPTER XV--ON THE IMPROVEMENT OF THE STREETS

  In ancient times, Gudetown had been fortified with ports and gates at theend of the streets; and in troublesome occasions, the country people, asthe traditions relate, were in the practice of driving in their familiesand cattle for shelter. This gave occasion to that great width in ourstreets, and those of other royal burghs, which is so remarkable; thesame being so built to give room and stance for the cattle. But in thosedays the streets were not paved at the sides, but only in the middle, or,as it was called, the crown of the causey; which was raised and backedupward, to let the rain-water run off
into the gutters. In progress oftime, however, as the land and kingdom gradually settled down into anorderly state, the farmers and country folk having no cause to drive intheir herds and flocks, as in the primitive ages of a rampageousantiquity, the proprietors of houses in the town, at their own cost,began, one after another, to pave the spaces of ground between theirsteadings and the crown of the causey; the which spaces were calledlones, and the lones being considered as private property, thecorporation had only regard to the middle portion of the street--thatwhich I have said was named the crown of the causey.

  The effect of this separation of interests in a common good began tomanifest itself, when the pavement of the crown of the causey, byneglect, became rough and dangerous to loaded carts and gentlemen'scarriages passing through the town; in so much that, for some time priorto my second provostry, the carts and carriages made no hesitation ofgoing over the lones, instead of keeping the highway in the middle of thestreet; at which many of the burgesses made loud and just complaints.

  One dark night, the very first Sunday after my restoration to theprovostry, there was like to have happened a very sore thing by an oldwoman, one Peggy Waife, who had been out with her gown-tail over her headfor a choppin of strong ale. As she was coming home, with her ale in agreybeard in her hand, a chaise in full bir came upon her and knocked herdown, and broke the greybeard and spilt the liquor. The cry wasterrible; some thought poor Peggy was killed outright, and wives, withcandles in their hands, started out at the doors and windows. Peggy,however, was more terrified than damaged; but the gentry that were in thechaise, being termagant English travellers, swore like dragoons that thestreets should be indicted as a nuisance; and when they put up at theinns, two of them came to me, as provost, to remonstrate on the shamefulcondition of the pavement, and to lodge in my hands the sum of ten poundsfor the behoof of Peggy; the which was greater riches than ever the poorcreature thought to attain in this world. Seeing they were gentlemen ofa right quality, I did what I could to pacify them, by joining in everything they said in condemnation of the streets; telling them, at the sametime, that the improvement of the causey was to be the very first objectand care of my provostry. And I bade Mrs Pawkie bring in the winedecanters, and requested them to sit down with me and take a glass ofwine and a sugar biscuit; the civility of which, on my part, soon broughtthem into a peaceable way of thinking, and they went away, highlycommanding my politess and hospitality, of which they spoke in thewarmest terms, to their companion when they returned to the inns, as thewaiter who attended them overheard, and told the landlord, who informedme and others of the same in the morning. So that on the Saturdayfollowing, when the town-council met, there was no difficulty in gettinga minute entered at the sederunt, that the crown of the causey should beforthwith put in a state of reparation.