Fish & Chips

by Abigail Roux

  There were only thirty minutes left in the work day, and then he was free to go do cartwheels in the parking lot. He glanced at Alston, who was asking another question, and then Ty’s pants pocket vibrated.

  He actually jerked in his seat before he could stop himself, quickly leaning forward to place his elbows on the table and cover the reaction.

  “Something to add?” McCoy asked.

  “Nothing constructive,” Ty admitted with an innocent smile.

  McCoy rolled his eyes slightly and nodded. As he continued outlining the plan to make the Bureau more “fan-friendly,” Ty leaned back again and pulled his phone out of his pocket slowly. He kept it under the table as he slid it open and pressed the button that would open the text message he’d received. Ty was almost surprised to see that it was from Zane and not one of the usual suspects.

  Baby seal walks into a club.

  Ty pressed his lips together tightly and looked up at McCoy as he tapped out his response to Zane’s weak opening gambit.

  You shouldnt club baby seals. Bastard.

  It wasn’t a minute before the phone vibrated in his hand again. He quickly set it to silent so no one would hear the vibrations, and then he glanced down at it to read the new message.

  Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

  Ty’s lips twitched as he tapped out a quick response.

  Is he being held in a duracell?

  He returned his attention to McCoy just in time. McCoy slid a file across the table toward him, and Ty opened it as he massaged his left temple.

  It was a proposal that outlined a plan to pull as many government and municipal service organizations as possible into a softball league and then open up the games to the public. Ty huffed in amusement.

  “Think you could get the ball rolling on that if it’s the plan we go with?” McCoy asked.

  Ty nodded slowly and then looked up at McCoy. “I know a guy who knows a guy,” he drawled with an easy smile.

  “I thought you might,” McCoy said, sounding pleased with himself.

  That was why Ty was here, then, because he’d played on the Bureau team ever since he’d been transferred to Baltimore and knew just about everyone. That had to be it, because everyone knew Ty didn’t give a shit about public opinion and had nothing to do with bank robberies or fires.

  McCoy moved on to the White Collar dude who still didn’t have a name but had a whole hell of a lot of opinions, and Ty surreptitiously checked the phone again. The message icon blinked at him, and he flipped the phone open to read it.

  Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.

  Ty stared at it for a moment before looking up and licking the corner of his mouth to keep from smiling. Why the hell couldn’t Zane have done this when Ty was bored out of his mind and not sitting in a meeting? He was probably out there Googling jokes on his computer.

  “Grady, what do you think?” McCoy asked.

  Ty looked at his superior for a split-second of indecision, knowing full well he had absolutely no idea what he’d been asked. “I think it’s a shit idea,” he finally answered confidently.

  “Care to expound on that?” McCoy asked him wryly.

  “Not really,” Ty answered, his voice not quite as steady.

  “Okay, at least we’re all in agreement on that one,” McCoy replied as he took a piece of paper that probably outlined another PR proposal and tossed it over his shoulder.

  Ty slowly let out the breath he’d been holding and began tapping a response to Zane.

  Fuck you zane. Fuck you. So much.

  The answer came back quickly. Zane had to have been sitting there waiting.

  I’ll get you a salami sandwich for dinner. With extra mayo.

  Ty looked up and around the table, trying desperately to concentrate on what they were saying as he jabbed at the keys of his phone to respond. Zane’s attempts at seductive innuendo were funnier than his jokes.

  All Ill get from you is fired.

  If you go for an interview at a rubber stamp company, try to make a good impression.

  Ty fought not to roll his eyes as he looked up from the phone he was still trying to hide in his lap. He refused to let one of Zane’s bad puns have the last word.

  He had to sit for a moment, searching his store of bad jokes for an appropriate answer. He hated to sink to Zane’s level, but you had to fight pun with pun.

  He looked up and took the next five minutes to answer questions and try to at least appear involved in the meeting. The idea about the FBI softball team and setting up tournaments with other city and state agency teams that would be open to the public seemed to be taking root. And Ty had become the focus of the planning, so he had to pay attention.

  Ty liked the plan, actually. He didn’t know if it would work, but it was never a bad thing to put a human face on the big bad blue line every once in a while. A downside, as he pointed out, was that they might get backlash if too many people wondered why cops and ambulance drivers were playing softball while the city was being ransacked. But hell, they were already taking heat, so it couldn’t hurt.

  Ty jotted down a few notes, people he’d need to contact within other agencies to see if they could set something up, city fields and scheduling and things that he really didn’t have time to deal with but would anyway. Then the conversation moved on, and Ty leaned back in his chair.

  He stared at McCoy listlessly as his mind began to wander again. He tapped out his response to Zane slowly, trying to get the message out and pay attention at the same time.

  If a hunter can shoot a deer with either hand does that make him bambidextrous?

  Have you seen eagles catch their prey? They’re really talonted.

  Ty closed his eyes. The puns were too much. They were just too stupid for his brain to deal with at the end of a long day. He decided to raise the white flag and live to think another day, so he eased back in his chair and slowly punched in the last message.

  You win. Ill do anything please make it stop.

  It took a minute, but Zane’s answer finally popped up.

  Promise you’ll scream for me tonight.

  Ty stared at the phone for just a moment too long. When he cleared his throat and looked up, McCoy was watching him expectantly.

  Ty smiled at him widely, the smile that said he knew he’d been caught and wasn’t McCoy glad he was so good at his job so he didn’t have to punish him?

  “Care to share?” McCoy asked drily.

  Ty looked around at the other people around the table and sighed heavily. Perrimore reached into his lap and grabbed the phone from him. Ty didn’t try to resist; that would just have made them even more curious. He’d never been more thankful that he rarely put real names into his contacts list, though.

  Perrimore read the last message from Zane out loud, eyebrows raised. “Who’s Lone Star?” he asked with a grin as he looked at the name Ty had stored in his phone. “And does she carry a whip?”

  “Everyone get out before my eyeballs explode,” McCoy ordered as he sat rubbing his temples with the heels of his hands.

  Ty snatched his phone from Perrimore and whapped him in the head as they stood to leave. Alston trailed behind them, laughing the entire way.

  ZANE looked up from the files he was stacking when he heard Ty’s voice, low and wry and borderline aggrieved. A smile pulled at Zane’s lips. There hadn’t been a reply to his last message of a little less than ten minutes ago.

  “Hey, Garrett, have you met Grady’s latest fling? She sounds like a real piece of work,” Alston said as they arrived, chuckling. “Probably has the key to his handcuffs pierced through her tongue.”

  That certainly wasn’t what Zane expected to hear when they came back from the meeting. So that probably meant Ty had been caught. He didn’t appear to have that “just outed by his co-workers” look about him, though, and Zane knew Ty nicknamed all his phone contacts, so he was relatively certain they were okay.

  “Getting texts at work again, pa
rtner?” Zane drawled as he looked over to see Ty.

  “Well, you know my type,” Ty responded with a saccharine smile as he passed Zane’s desk. “No self-control and loads of mental issues.” He did sound exasperated, though.

  “That’s never seemed to bother you,” Zane answered as he stood up and lifted his suit jacket off the back of his chair.

  Alston laughed and took off with a wave, not bothering to stick around to hear the banter the whole team had become used to. Clancy and Lassiter had departed half an hour ago, and Zane had seen Perrimore detour toward the elevators as the group came back from the meeting. So once Alston disappeared down the hall, it was just Zane and Ty as Ty locked up his desk drawers.

  Ty glanced up at him darkly, and Zane grinned. Oh, he was so going to pay for his mischief tonight. The look in Ty’s eyes promised as much.

  Ty looked around the nearly empty floor as he moved closer to Zane. He held his phone in his hand, and his overcoat was draped over his arm. He stepped closer to Zane, his knuckles brushing against Zane’s stomach as he held the coat between them.

  “Me scream for you, huh?” he asked in a low voice, his nearly green eyes raking across Zane’s features.

  “Since you can’t take the punishment,” Zane said, feeling himself warm a little under Ty’s scrutiny.

  “One more, Garrett,” Ty warned as he raised one finger. “One more and we’ll see who can go the longest in a cold bed.”

  Zane frowned and huffed quietly. “Fine. You, screaming,” he reminded. “I did offer to bring you dinner.”

  “Dinner later. My house. Bring clothes for the weekend, ’cause you won’t be making it home.” Ty didn’t say another word, just turned and headed for the elevator at a stroll, shrugging into his overcoat as he went.

  Zane watched him go, enjoying the sight. “Score,” he said under his breath before he grabbed his phone and keys and hurried to follow.

  About the Author

  MADELEINE URBAN is a down-home Kentucky girl who’s been writing since she could hold a crayon. Although she has written and published on her own, she truly excels when writing with co-authors. She lives with her husband, who is very supportive of her work, and two canine kids who only allow her to hug them when she has food. She wants to live at Disney World, the home of fairy dust, because she believes that with hard work, a little luck, and beloved family and friends, dreams really can come true.

  Visit Madeleine’s blog at http://www.madeleineurban.com/. You can contact her at mrs.madeleine.urban@gmail.com. Visit her web site with Abigail Roux at http://www.urbanandroux.com.

  ABIGAIL ROUX was born and raised in North Carolina. A past volleyball star who specializes in pratfalls and sarcasm, she currently spends her time coaching middle school volleyball and softball and dreading the day when her little girl hits that age. Abigail has a loving husband, a baby girl they call Boomer, four cats, three dogs, a crazyass extended family, and a cast of thousands in her head.

  Visit Abigail’s blog at http://abigail-roux.livejournal.com/. Visit her web site with Madeleine Urban at http://www.urbanandroux.com.

  Read about how the Grady-Garrett partnership started in

  A series of murders in New York City has stymied the police and FBI alike, and they suspect the culprit is a single killer sending an indecipherable message. But when the two federal agents assigned to the investigation are taken out, the FBI takes a more personal interest in the case.

  Special Agent Ty Grady is pulled out of undercover work after his case blows up in his face. He’s cocky, abrasive, and indisputably the best at what he does. But when he’s paired with Special Agent Zane Garrett, it’s hate at first sight. Garrett is the perfect image of an agent: serious, sober, and focused, which makes their partnership a classic cliché: total opposites, good cop-bad cop, the odd couple. They both know immediately that their partnership will pose more of an obstacle than the lack of evidence left by the murderer.

  Practically before their special assignment starts, the murderer strikes again—this time at them. Now on the run, trying to track down a man who has focused on killing his pursuers, Grady and Garrett will have to figure out how to work together before they become two more notches in the murderer’s knife.

  http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com

  The partnership continues in Book Two

  Six months after nearly losing their lives to a serial killer in New York City, FBI Special Agents Ty Grady and Zane Garrett are suffering through something almost as frightening: the monotony of desk duty. When they’re ordered to take a vacation for the good of everyone’s sanity, Ty bites the bullet and takes Zane home with him to West Virginia, hoping the peace and quiet of the mountains will give them the chance to explore the explosive attraction they’ve so far been unable to reconcile with their professional partnership.

  Ty and Zane, along with Ty’s father and brother, head up into the Appalachian mountains for a nice, relaxing hike deep into the woods… where no one will hear them scream. They find themselves facing danger from all directions: unpredictable weather, the unrelenting mountains, wild animals, fellow hikers with nothing to lose, and the most terrifying challenge of all. Each other.

  http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com

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  MADELEINE URBAN and ABIGAIL ROUX

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