A Dead and Stormy Night

by Steffanie Holmes

  Believe it or not, a murder during my first week on the job had so far been the least of my problems. It turns out the murder victim was my ex-best friend, Ashley, and since I’d been one of the people to find the body, the police were convinced I’d done it. Luckily we’d managed to clear my name, and got a dangerous killer locked behind bars.

  It also turns out that my new boss and his two flatmates are actually the fictional characters Heathcliff, James Moriarty, and Poe’s raven. And the bookshop I’d loved since I was a kid wasn’t just an ordinary bookshop – it was plagued by some kind of curse, has a hidden occult book collection and a room that moved forward and backward in time.

  And then, because my life wasn’t already crazy enough, I sort of… slept with Morrie. Well, there wasn’t much sleeping happening. He’d taken me hard against one of the hallway bookshelves. My cheeks reddened just thinking about it. Ever since, we’d been doing it everywhere we could – in the storage room, on his perfectly-made bed, on Heathcliff’s chair in the living room. My body tingled just thinking about Morrie’s hands sliding over my skin. My life my be insane, but it had never been more perfect… except for the tiny, unresolved issue of me not wanting to be with a master criminal, and of Heathcliff kissing me and Quoth declaring he had feelings for me and me not knowing which of them to choose...

  Oh yeah, and I was going blind. That was also a thing.

  Quoth fluttered away to greet our customer while Morrie scrambled to right the ladder. Heathcliff slouched back to his desk and slid his muscled frame into his chair, flipping open a book in front of him with a heavy thud.

  I guess I’ll help the customer, then. I turned to see who’d come through the door.

  “Oh, hi, Mrs Ellis!” Mrs Ellis was the hilariously horney old biddy who used to be my school teacher. She’d encouraged my love of reading, always giving me books far above my level, usually featuring muscled men and swooning women on the covers in various states of undress. She’d retired years ago, and now lived in a small flat above the chippie across the road, which suited her perfectly as it gave her the ideal vantage point to eavesdrop on conversations in the street and gather all the village gossip.

  “Hello, Mina dear.” Mrs Ellis wrapped her arms around me in a motherly hug. I sucked in a mouthful of hyacinth perfume and tried not to gag. As I pulled away, a pair of beady grey eyes met mine from over Mrs Ellis’ shoulder.

  The eyes belonged to a sour-looking woman in a fuschia-pink suit, complete with matching handbag and hat. She peered down at me through a pair of horn-rimmed glasses.

  “That’s not a very appropriate outfit for working a retail job,” she frowned, sweeping her judgemental gaze over my body.

  I smoothed down the front of the t-shirt I’d screen printed the night before. It read, ‘I like big books and I cannot lie,” with the OO’s in the word BOOKS strategically angled across my chest. Morrie and Quoth thought it was hilarious. Heathcliff didn’t seem to have noticed it yet. “What do you mean, ma’am?” I asked, all sunshine and innocence. “I’m declaring my love of the written word.”

  “It implies you’re sexually excited by books, like some kind of perverted lesbian.” She sniffed in disdain.

  “Oh no,” Morrie called from the top of the stairs. “I can assure you, she’s a big fan of the cock.”

  Mrs Ellis snickered, and squeezed my hand. “I knew you’d land one of those handsome beaus, dearie. Tell me, is he long and lean in all the right places?”

  My face flared with heat. Could the floor just swallow me now?

  The woman’s face turned beet red. She called up the staircase. “Young man, that is inappropriate language in front of your elders and you—”

  Sensing a lecture coming on and Heathcliff’s anger sizzling in the background, I jumped in. “Ma’am, I’m sorry about my friend, and my t-shirt. I’m happy to help two such lovely young ladies with your book-buying needs.”

  Mrs Ellis tittered. Her companion didn’t look nearly so amused, although she did brush an invisible speck of lint from her shoulder.

  “Oh, dear me, where are my manners. Mina, this is my dear friend, Gladys Scarlett.” Mrs Ellis beamed, clutching Gladys’ hand. “We’re on the church fundraising committee together.”

  “I chair the committee, thank you very much,” Gladys Scarlett corrected her.

  “Yes, of course. Gladys is very involved in the community. She’s on all sorts of committees, I forget which ones are which.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Gladys,” I held out my hand and the old woman shook. She had a firm grip. “I’m Wilhelmina Wilde. I used to be one of Mrs Ellis’ students—”

  “Wilde?” Mrs Scarlett’s eyes lit up. “Are you any relation to our Oscar?”

  “Um, I don’t think so.” My heart skipped a beat. My mum ran away from home when she was sixteen to be with my Dad, who abandoned her shortly thereafter while she was pregnant with me. She still didn’t talk to anyone in her family, and I’d never met any relatives. “I don’t know anyone by that name—”

  “No, no, no, Oscar Wilde, the great Victorian writer and provocateur. We studied The Picture of Dorian Grey in the book club last month, didn’t we, Linda?”

  “We certainly did. Although I must admit, it wasn’t as vulgar as I expected.”

  “This month’s choice should be more to your taste,” Mrs Scarlett declared. “It’s one of the most banned books in America since its release in 1962 because of its vulgarity and language.”

  “You’re both in a book club?” I asked, interested.

  “But of course! I’m surprised Heathcliff hasn’t told you about it,” Mrs Ellis was busy scanning the books on the, probably looking for more of her favourite bodice-rippers. “Gladys here has been running the Argleton Banned Books Club for the last fifteen years.”

  “Banned Books Club? So you read only banned books?” The idea intrigued me. Heathcliff stomped on my foot in an attempt to get me to hurry the conversation along, but I ignored him.

  “Yes. It was all my idea. We feel it’s important to ensure that censorship continues to be challenged,” said Mrs Scarlett. “Each month, we choose a different book that has been banned in some way, and we read and discuss its merits and characters over high tea.”

  “We come in every month to collect the books for our members,” Mrs Ellis waved at Heathcliff. “Mr Heathcliff is so good to put our requests aside for us. That’s why we’re here, for our six copies Of Mice and Men.”

  “Don’t talk about mice!” Morrie yelled from upstairs.

  “He’s a bit sensitive at the moment,” I stage-whispered, loud enough for Morrie to hear. “A tiny mouse ran up his trousers, and he hasn’t been the same since.”

  “It wasn’t a tiny mouse. It was enormous, like all things in my trousers!”

  “I can see why you feel at home in this shop, Mabel.” Mrs Scarlett huffed. “Young lady, please tell me you’ve got all six copies. I can’t stand for something else to go wrong.”

  Heathcliff dumped a stack of books on the desk. “There. Six copies in near perfect condition. If you find any mouse droppings, you can have them half-off. Now, can we move this along? This is a bookshop, not a bloody social club—”

  “What else has gone wrong?” I asked as I elbowed Heathcliff out of the way to ring up the till.

  “We used to meet in the village hall, but some workmen on the King’s Copse development lost control of their earthmoving machine, and drove it straight through the wall.” Mrs Ellis’ face lit up with delight. “So of course the place is in a right state, and Health and Safety won’t allow us to meet there anymore.”

  “We asked about using the Sunday School room, but some members of the church committee objected,” Mrs Scarlett declared. “Apparently, our book club has a corrupting influence on the community. Personally, I think it’s an attempt to oust me from my seat and replace me with that rotten Helen Ingram.”

  “Well, we are reading books the church considers objectionable,” Mrs Ellis c
lucked. “Although how anyone can object to Harry Potter is beyond me. Young Harry never gets his end away—”

  “Yes, and how they can object to fine literature and yet support that hideous development is beyond me!”

  “Development?” I asked. I’d been out of the loop of Argleton news in New York City. I didn’t know anything about a development.

  “A big city developer purchased the old King’s Copse wood. They’re building a huge development behind Argleton.” Mrs Ellis made a face. “Several houses are already going in on the clear strip between the wood and the village. That’s how the village hall got knocked through.”

  “I bet they did it on purpose. It’s a dreadful business, that development.” Mrs Scarlett tsked. She leaned closer and whispered conspiratorially. I caught the faintest whiff of garlic on her breath. “But we’ll soon be putting a stop to it.”

  “How?” I tried to picture Mrs Scarlett and a horde of formidable old biddies chaining themselves to trees.

  “The developers may own the land, but if they want to put anything on it, they’ll have to go through the planning process just like everyone else,” Mrs Scarlett declared, puffing out her chest. “As the head of the planning committee, I don’t intend to allow their modern monstrosities to sully our quaint local vernacular. Argleton is a popular destination for tourists and locals because of its old world charm, and this development threatens that. I’m surprised you’re not more concerned about it,” She glared at Heathcliff. “They’ll drive away your customers!”

  “Good,” Heathcliff muttered. “I hope they start building tomorrow.”

  “Gladys has collected a petition of supporters from the local community to block the plans until a design is submitted that’s more in keeping with our heritage. She’s really very clever,” Mrs Ellis put in. “I’m looking forward to the meeting next week where she will present it. That head developer, Edward Lachlan, is rather handsome.”

  “He’s a scoundrel,” Mrs Scarlett hissed. “If his wife wasn’t in the book club, I’d see him driven out of this village. But that doesn’t solve the issue of a meeting place for our book club. Do either of you happen to know of any spaces to rent in the village? If we don’t find anything we shall have to meet at the Lachlan house, and I won’t be having with that.”

  “Why don’t you meet here?” I asked.

  Heathcliff’s boot slammed down on my foot. I pretended not to notice.

  “Oh, that would be wonderful!” Mrs Ellis clapped her hands together. “How appropriate to have our book club in an actual bookshop!”

  Mrs Scarlett sniffed as she surveyed the rows of shelves stuffed with books, the torn leather armchair beside the window, and the stuffed armadillo in the centre of the display table. “It’s rather dark in here. One needs to be able to read Of Mice And Men in order to discuss it.”

  I agreed. I’d been slowly adding lamps to the upstairs rooms to brighten the place up so I could actually see, but I hadn’t told Heathcliff that yet.

  Instead, I said. “How many are in your book club? You could all fit into the World History Room.” Nevermore Bookshop was divided into several tiny rooms and pokey corridors. The World History Room was the largest space on the ground floor, dominated by the bay window that formed part of a pentagonal turret on the western corner of the building. Floor-to-ceiling windows and pastel yellow wallpaper gave the room a cheery quality. “It’s lovely and light in there.”

  “Let’s see,” Mrs Scarlett ticked off her fingers. “there’s the two of us, and Sylvia Blume – she’s the local medium, bit of a daft lady, really, but she brings the most delicious tea selection. Mrs Lachlan of course, wife to the hated developer. They live in the big house on the hill, pretending they’re old money when really they’re just scrubbers from the East End. Then there’s young Ginny Button and my dear friend Brenda Winstone, she’s Mabel’s cousin, isn’t she?”

  “She is. A lovely lady, although she married this lug of a man, Harold. I’m glad he’s not in our club.” Mrs Ellis wrinkled her brow. “We’d love to host the Banned Book Club in the shop, and I hope you and the handsome Mr Heathcliff will join us.”

  “Not happening,” Heathcliff growled, thumping a dusty stack of books on the counter.

  “I’d love to.” I beamed.

  “Oh, how wonderful.” Mrs Ellis clapped her hands together. “We always get Greta at the bakery to cater our meetings. She makes the most amazing cream doughnuts. Gladys and I have one every morning after our walk, don’t we? We’re popping over after we’ve paid for our books and we’ll make sure she includes enough for everyone.”

  “You’ll need to read the book by Wednesday—eeeee!” Mrs Scarlett clutched her chest. Her face puffed up, her already red cheeks darkening. “A mouse!”

  I whirled around, just in time to see a white streak fly across the floor and disappear behind Heathcliff’s desk. He leapt to his feet, cursing. Quoth swooped down from the chandelier and dived after the rodent. The mouse disappeared into the stacks of books, but Quoth wasn’t small enough to fit into the gap and he couldn’t stop in time. He smashed into the shelf and tumbled across the floor in a flurry of feathers.

  “Quoth!” I picked him up and cradled him in my arms, feeling his body for broken bones.

  He blinked his eyes at me, preening as I stroked the top of his head.

  I meant to do that, his voice landed inside my skull. I was still getting used to Quoth’s occasional telepathic interjections when he was in his raven form.

  I smiled. “Well, you’re just fine.”

  “Help! Gladys!” Mrs Ellis cried.

  I whirled around. Mrs Scarlett had sunk to her knees, one hand gripping the edge of Heathcliff’s desk, the other clutching her stomach. She leaned her head against her shoulder and sucked in deep breaths.

  “I’m fine,” she wheezed. “Give me a moment.”

  “Gladys isn’t well,” Mrs Ellis cooed, rubbing her friend’s shoulder. “The doctors think it’s her heart. She gets these dizzy spells and—”

  “Make way, doctor coming through.” Morrie clattered down the stairs. He dropped to his knees beside the old lady and peered into her eyes, sniffed her garlicky breath, pinched her earlobes, and slapped her cheeks.

  “I’m fine, don’t fuss.” Mrs Scarlett gripped Morrie’s shoulder and hauled herself to her feet. “I just had a fright.”

  “The bloody mouse,” Morrie swore. “You saw it, didn’t you? It wasn’t a mouse so much as a vicious dog—”

  “Yes, well.” Mrs Scarlett dabbed at her cheeks with her handkerchief. “I think we’ll be going now. Just be good and make sure that mouse is taken care of before our meeting.”

  “Did you hear that?” Heathcliff growled at Quoth, who’d perched on the top of the register.

  “Croak!”

  TO BE CONTINUED

  Need to uncover more secrets of Nevermore Bookshop? Grab book 2, Of Mice and Murder.

  Can’t get enough of Mina and her boys? Read a free alternative scene from Quoth’s point-of-view when you sign up for the Steffanie Holmes VIP list.

  Other Books By Steffanie Holmes

  This list is in recommended reading order, although each couple’s story can be enjoyed as a standalone.

  Nevermore Bookshop Mysteries

  A Dead and Stormy Night – READ NOW

  Of Mice and Murder – READ NOW

  Pride and Premeditation (Coming in March 2019)

  Briarwood Reverse Harem series

  The Castle of Earth and Embers – READ NOW

  The Castle of Fire and Fable – READ NOW

  The Castle of Water and Woe – READ NOW

  The Castle of Wind and Whispers – READ NOW

  The Castle of Spirit and Sorrow – READ NOW

  Crookshollow Gothic Romance series

  Art of Cunning (Alex & Ryan) - READ NOW FOR FREE

  Art of the Hunt (Alex & Ryan) - READ NOW

  Art of Temptation (Alex & Ryan) - READ NOW

  The Man in B
lack (Elinor & Eric) - READ NOW

  Watcher (Belinda & Cole) - READ NOW

  Reaper (Belinda & Cole) - READ NOW

  Wolves of Crookshollow series

  Digging the Wolf (Anna & Luke) - READ NOW

  Writing the Wolf (Rosa & Caleb) - READ NOW

  Inking the Wolf (Bianca & Robbie) - READ NOW

  Wedding the Wolf (Willow & Irvine) - READ NOW

  Fallen Sorcery Fae (shared world)

  Hollow - READ NOW

  Witches of the Woods

  Witch Hunter - READ NOW

  Coven - READ NOW

  The Curse (coming in 2018)

  Want to be informed when the next Steffanie Holmes paranormal romance story goes live? Sign up for the VIP Readers Club to get the scoop, and score a free bonus prequel to enjoy!

  Want more reverse harem from Steffanie Holmes

  “Sizzling hot, sexy characters, and a plot filled with magic, mayhem, excitement, suspense, and fairies. Fantastic.” - Laure Eccleston

  “I love all the guys and this book is hot!” - Gilda Rodriguez

  “Maeve is feisty and no damsel in distress. I want more!” - Stephanie

  Dear Fae,

  Don't even THINK about attacking my castle.

  This science geek witch and her four magic-wielding men are about to get medieval on your ass.

  I’m Maeve Crawford. For years I’ve had my future mathematically calculated down to the last detail; Leave my podunk Arizona town, graduate MIT, get into the space program, be the first woman on Mars, get a cat (not necessarily in this order).