The Trustworthy One

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  “Are you a couple now?” Chris asked.

  “Jah,” Nate replied as he placed Kendra’s hand in the crook of his arm and escorted her to his buggy.

  When he joined the line of buggies on the way down the quiet street, Kendra said, “If I haven’t said it enough, I’m really glad you’re here. You’re making what could have been an absolutely horrible day bearable.” As compliments went, it wasn’t a great one, but it was heartfelt. She hoped he would realize that.

  He patted her hand resting on his elbow. “I’m glad you’re letting me stay by your side.”

  “My family feels like a soap opera.”

  “There’s a lot of nooks and crannies in all of your relationships, that’s for sure. But I don’t know if that’s an unusual thing.”

  Again, he’d known exactly what to say to her. He wasn’t sugarcoating her reality but wasn’t making her feel awkward about it, either.

  “I had hoped Mary would be here, but I didn’t really think she would show up. I’m really glad she did.”

  “It sounds like she came here for you, Kendra. That says a lot about what you did for her when she was little.”

  “Jah.” She smiled slightly. “It does.”

  “When did she leave to go out on her own?”

  “When Naomi was thirteen. Chris was sixteen, and she was seventeen. Jeremiah was nineteen, and I was twenty-one.”

  “So you’d already been in rehab.”

  “Jah. I’d been clean and sober for almost three years by then but was not ready to face them.”

  “Where did she go?”

  “I knew at first she went to Mansfield, then to West Virginia. Later, I heard she moved to Pittsburgh. Then we lost touch. I didn’t have her address or phone number, and she didn’t call. Then, two or three years ago, Chris told me she had moved to Cleveland. He always acted like she was struggling, but it sure doesn’t look like it—at least not financially.”

  “I wonder why he thought she was struggling?”

  “I don’t know. She might have kept her life from him, or he just decided that was how Mary ended up.”

  “That doesn’t sound right.”

  Kendra didn’t think it did, either, but she wasn’t one to judge. “We’re all kind of damaged, I guess.”

  “Kendra, don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t think you’re as damaged and broken as you say.”

  “Nate, you don’t have to say that.”

  “No, listen to me. It’s obvious all of your siblings respect you. It’s obvious that they all know you shielded them from a lot of bad things and that they’re grateful for it.”

  “Oh, Nate. Bad stuff still happened to all of them. Even Naomi, she just doesn’t remember it.”

  “Mary made it sound like she owed you. You need to accept that and take it for what it is—a sign that you did everything you could. And she noticed.”

  They pulled into the cemetery, and after Nate set the brake, he said, “Stay here a moment until I get my horse settled.”

  She did as he bid, watching the small gathering in the distance. Though some were dressed Amish like her, others were wearing English clothes, and some, like Naomi, were obviously Mennonite. Everyone was wearing black and somber expressions. Her mother was in the center of the group, crying, and several ladies were attempting to comfort her.

  Standing on the fringes in a tight group were Chris, Jeremiah, Naomi, and Mary. Jeremiah had an arm around Mary’s shoulders, and Mary and Naomi were holding hands. All were looking her way.

  She still believed she was right—all five of them were a little broken. But as she walked toward them and saw Naomi look up at her with an expression of relief and Chris move over a bit so she could be in the center of their group, Kendra realized that Nate had been right, too.

  They might have been a little broken, but they weren’t damaged beyond repair.

  Maybe they were all okay after all.

  THIRTY–FIVE

  “Andy really was more than I ever realized,” Marie said. “I mean, he was a good friend, and kind, but he was a lot more.”

  “I think that’s true about all of us,” Kendra said slowly. “The Lord made us all special. We’re flawed, but there’s good in each of us. Maybe more than most people see or most people realize. Maybe more than even we realize.”

  MONDAY

  After the burial, the whole group headed to one of her mother’s neighbor’s houses. Knowing how difficult the funeral had been for her—and that the next few hours were surely going to be just as difficult—Nate had insisted on staying by Kendra’s side. Unlike her siblings, his only concern was Kendra, and he believed she needed someone to carefully look out for her.

  They joined the procession of buggies clip-clopping slowly down the road. The somber mood seemed to permeate the air around them—even the usual robins and cardinals were as silent as Kendra was beside him.

  Her tense manner worried him, but instead of murmuring platitudes, Nate let her have a few moments of silence. There was nothing he could say to comfort her that he hadn’t already said several times. Besides, he’d always thought there was too much small talk at funerals, like everyone needed to fill the sadness in the air with mindless chatter.

  He wasn’t sure if Kendra felt the same way, but he did notice that by the time he parked the buggy in the field next to the house, she seemed to be a little more relaxed. He hoped that was the case.

  After he tethered Ten to a hitching post and helped her out, Kendra looked up at him. “Would you mind very much if I spent some time with Mary? I fear that if I don’t talk to her now, I might not get another chance. I don’t think she’ll be staying in town much longer.”

  “Of course not. I want you to spend time with whomever you want. I’m only here in case you need me.”

  Her expression crumbled. “You have been so helpful. Nee, you’ve been a godsend,” she corrected. “Danke.”

  “There’s no reason to thank me. I want to help you, Kendra.” He paused, hoping she understood everything he was trying to convey without saying as much. “Now, go see your sister, and I’ll go spend some time with all our friends.”

  She cast him another grateful smile before walking over to her sister. As Nate watched her go, he said a little prayer, asking Jesus to help her during the next few hours. He reckoned she was going to need His guiding hand.

  * * *

  An hour later, Kendra was still sitting with Mary, and Chris, Jeremiah, and Naomi had joined them. The five of them looked like they were chatting easily, and Nate thought Kendra looked more relaxed than she had in days.

  While she’d been with her family, Nate had talked with Kendra’s mother for a few minutes before joining his friends at one of the long wooden tables that had been set up for the occasion and enjoyed a wonderful meal of baked chicken, mashed potatoes, and vegetables.

  Little by little, the crowd had thinned, and they were just standing around and catching up until Kendra was ready to leave. Though no one had said it out loud, Nate knew none of them wanted to leave Kendra alone.

  “Here we are, at another funeral,” Marie said as she joined them after filling her glass with more lemonade. “All things considered, I like when we gather at weddings a whole lot better.”

  “Amen to that,” E.A. said.

  “There’s no telling who will be getting married next,” Tricia said with a smile.

  Logan grinned at Nate. “Who knows? Maybe you and Kendra will be getting hitched before you know it.”

  Even a week ago, Nate would have laughed off the suggestion. Now, though? He was actually thinking about it. “We’ll see. Kendra has been having a pretty chaotic month. She might want to simply relax for a spell.”

  Marie looked over to where Kendra was sitting with Mary and Jeremiah. “I didn’t really know Kendra well until we were in our teens. I remembered she had some brothers, and Nanny, but I don’t remember her ever talking about Mary. Were they close?”

  “I’m not sure,”
Nate replied. “Kendra was glad to see her, though. And Mary? Well, she looked like she was about to cry, she was so happy to see her big sister.”

  “Maybe this funeral will have a silver lining, too,” Katie murmured. “Maybe it will help Kendra and her siblings reconnect in a new way and they can become closer.”

  “Too?” Nate asked.

  Looking a little tentative, Katie said, “Well, we were all together, then drifted apart. It was only when we were standing together after Andy’s funeral that we made a vow to reconnect.”

  Nate knew some of their story, but he’d never talked about it with any of the Eight so openly. “And so you all started seeing one another more? It was just that easy?”

  “I kind of think it was just that easy,” John said. “I, for one, was glad to have an excuse to focus on my priorities again. And you know what? I wasn’t alone.”

  “Every single one of us missed the way we used to be,” Logan added. “We missed knowing we were just a few minutes away.”

  “I realized that being just a phone call away wasn’t enough,” Marie said. “Keeping in touch is one thing. Working on a friendship is something else entirely. That can’t happen when you only see people a couple of times a year.”

  “Well, all of you should be proud,” Nate said. “In spite of the obstacles in your lives, you all came back together.” He chuckled softly. “Hey, some of you even fell in love and paired off!”

  “That we did,” Harley said. “But we also realized there was plenty of room for more good friends in our lives.”

  Katie pressed her hand onto Harley’s arm. “Like Kendra.”

  “Especially like Kendra,” E.A. said. “Though I feel kind of bad she wasn’t part of the Eight from the beginning.”

  “I know you do, but I think she would be the first to tell you that she wasn’t ready back then,” Nate pointed out. “Everything really does happen at the right time.”

  Looking at Will, E.A. nodded. “I agree with that.”

  Glancing at Kendra again, Nate murmured, “In spite of the circumstances, she seems to be doing all right, doesn’t she?”

  “When you are surrounded by people you love, it’s amazing what can take place,” Marie said with a smile. “Miracles happen, and Kendra is due for a small miracle of happiness now. It’s her time.”

  Marie’s words, though lightly spoken, hit him hard. Nate realized then that he was willing to do whatever it took to make her happy and make sure that from now on, she was surrounded by love. Especially his.

  THIRTY–SIX

  Kendra nodded. “Maybe at the end of the day, we don’t need to worry about pleasing lots of people. We simply need to be pleased with ourselves and the way God made each of us. We need to trust ourselves and trust Him, too.”

  TWO WEEKS LATER

  “Mrs. Warner is the nicest lady in the world,” Kendra said to Nate as they walked down the driveway. “I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to be as gracious and welcoming as she is. Every time I’ve stopped by, she’s been nothing but kind.”

  Nate seemed to consider her words for a moment before replying. “She is a nice lady, but I think she appreciates the company. It’s nice of all of you to still stop by.”

  “I hope we don’t stop anytime soon. I enjoy being around her.”

  “She sure loved the caramel brownies you brought,” Nate said.

  Remembering the way Mrs. Warner had looked when she’d eaten her first bite, Kendra grinned. “I think she really did! That made me happy.”

  “You are such a good cook. Everything you make feels like we’re having a little part of your heart.”

  Kendra smiled up at him. “That is very sweet of you to say.”

  Nate linked his fingers through hers. “It was sweet of you to include me today.”

  “I’m glad you wanted to come with me. Not everyone understands why we all stop by so much, especially now that it’s been over a year since Andy died.”

  “To tell you the truth, I thought being at the Warners’ house might make me feel sad or that sitting with Mrs. Warner would be really awkward, but it wasn’t like that at all.” He paused. “Instead, it gave me a chance to talk about Andy with someone who loved him, too. Almost like even though he died, he hasn’t really left our lives.”

  “I feel the same way.”

  “When did you start going over?”

  “I’m not sure when the first visit happened. I think it was either Marie’s or Katie’s idea to stop by. Or maybe it was John’s? I can’t really remember. But I do remember we all agreed that it would make Mrs. Warner happy to have some of Andy’s friends in the house again.”

  Nate smiled. “I bet. He was one of the most social people I know. He always was planning something.”

  “Always.” Kendra chuckled. Thinking about the visits, she added, “To be honest, there was a part of me that was sure she’d stop wanting to see us. You know, maybe she thought us sitting in her living room would make it even harder to move on. But I think the opposite is true.”

  Nate rubbed one of her knuckles with his thumb, showing her without words that he understood. Enjoying that simple connection, she smiled up at him.

  She loved holding Nate’s hand. She liked feeling the warmth of his skin, liked feeling connected. She even liked that Nate was never shy about holding her hand. It was like he needed her touch as much as she needed his, like he was proud of having her by his side.

  He never cared who saw them, never cared that some of the older people in their church district frowned upon the simple display of affection in public. He never cared what other people thought. Not even bishops.

  That was very Nate.

  “Hey, what are you smiling about?”

  “Hmm? Oh, something silly. It’s nothing.”

  “Nee, I know that smile. It’s something. Come on,” he cajoled. “Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours. I won’t laugh.”

  “All right, but you’re going to agree it’s nothing important. I… well, I was just thinking about how much I love to hold your hand. Laugh if you want, I won’t mind.”

  His teasing expression faded. “I’m not about to laugh at all. You know I like to hold your hand, too. I like it a lot; it keeps you close to me. Is that what you like?”

  She nodded. “I like feeling a little part of you by my side. I also kind of like that you never care who sees us holding hands together.”

  Looking even more serious, he said, “Now that’s where you’re wrong. It’s not that I’m not worried if someone sees us. It’s that I want everyone to see your hand in mine. I want everyone to know you’re mine.”

  What did one say to that? “Oh.”

  “Yeah, oh.” Looking even more determined, he drew to a stop. “Actually, Kendra, there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.”

  “What’s on your mind?”

  “It’s a little complicated. Can we stop and talk right here?”

  They were on an empty street. Trees with thick, brightly colored foliage surrounded them. She supposed they were in as private a spot as one could hope for. Wondering what could be on his mind, she started doing what she always did—she started worrying. “Is everything okay?”

  Nate’s hazel eyes warmed. “Oh yeah. I mean, I think so. I just wanted to tell you something.” He drew a breath. “See, the truth is that sometimes I hold your hand because it’s all I have of you.”

  Wasn’t that the sweetest thing? “Nate. It’s not all you have. You have my heart, too.”

  “I love having your heart. I love holding your hands. But it’s not all I want.”

  She figured her eyes were as big as saucers. “What do you want?”

  “You. Kendra, I want to marry you one day. I don’t want you just to have my heart. I want you to have my name, too.”

  “You’re proposing? Now?”

  He nodded. “I love you, Kendra Troyer. Will you marry me?”

  Kendra blinked. Nate Miller was asking
her to marry him right there, on an empty street in the middle of a Wednesday on the way home from the Warners’ house.

  He knew who she was. He knew her past, knew her imperfections, but he loved her anyway.

  She really believed that.

  And so, after so many days of doubts and worries and recriminations, Kendra realized that she trusted Nate, too.

  Was there anything she’d ever wanted more?

  “Jah, Nate,” she said quietly. “I will marry you.”

  Grinning, he took hold of both her hands and stepped closer. “You scared me for a minute, there. I thought you were going to say no.”

  “Nee, I needed a minute only so I could remember this moment. I’m starting to learn that there are some things a person doesn’t want to ever forget.”

  “You won’t forget. I’ll make sure you’ll always remember this day and never regret it,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her and held her close.

  Kendra rested her head on his shoulder, breathed in his scent, and realized Nate was not wrong. She was going to remember this moment always.

  Always.

  * * *

  Standing in front of all of their friends, in front of all the people whom she held most dear, Kendra finished her story.

  “Everyone, I loved Andy Warner. I loved him for what he did for me that day. I loved him for being my friend. But most of all, I loved him for reminding me that I was going to be all right. That one day in the future—in spite of everything that had happened—I was going to be just fine.”

  She smiled. “And you know what? Andy Warner was right. I turned out just fine.”

  Looking up at the sky, she pressed a hand to her heart and said a prayer.

  And trusted that He would let Andy know she was glad to have known him. No, that she was glad to have been his friend.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  I worked on this series for almost two years and I couldn’t put all my notes, notebooks, and research papers away without first taking a moment to thank the many people who helped bring these books to life. First, I owe a debt of gratitude to my agent, Nicole Resciniti. From the time I first emailed her about my idea for the Eight, she helped champion this project and my move to Simon & Schuster. Nicole is my cheerleader, confidant, sounding board, and voice of reason. I hope every writer has someone like Nic in their corner.