Never Say Never

by Rachael Sommers

  “I’m really sorry to intrude” Emily leaned close to Camila so Jaime wouldn’t hear. She was close enough to smell her perfume, and when Camila turned her head to respond, Emily almost drowned in the green of her eyes.

  “You’re not intruding,” Camila said, holding Emily’s gaze. “Really. I’m happy you’re here. And he is too.”

  Jaime’s grin filled his whole face, and Camila was smiling. Emily’s heart pounded in her chest, thudding against her ribcage.

  It would be a miracle if she survived the day.

  * * *

  “This one’s my favorite!” Jaime was on Emily’s shoulders, her hands holding onto his legs. He stared up at the enormous T. rex skeleton, and Camila laughed at the wide-eyed look on his face.

  “I thought triceratops was your favorite.” Emily said. Camila loved that Emily listened to him, that she remembered tiny details, that she made so much of an effort and even gave up her Saturday to keep a five-year-old happy.

  She chattered away with him, answering questions that Camila would never have been able to without her phone. And as much as Emily had apologized for infringing on their day, Camila actually enjoyed watching the two of them together and seeing Jaime so happy.

  Emily wasn’t bad to look at either. Camila scolded herself for gazing at the bare legs that extended from her skirt. It was inappropriate and she knew it, but she couldn’t help it—Emily was gorgeous and completely unaware of her looks and the effect she had on other people. That only made her more endearing.

  She would never know how Camila felt, though. As good as she was at getting her to open up, Camila would keep her feelings close to her chest because she didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize Emily’s budding relationship with Jaime.

  She was a godsend, Jaime was completely in love with her, and Camila would do nothing to ruin it, especially after her recent bad luck with nannies.

  “This one’s cool too!” Jaime’s voice cut through her thoughts. “Don’t you think so, Mama?”

  “It’s very…impressive.” Camila had absolutely no idea which set of fossils Jaime was looking at, and Emily knew it, judging from her grin.

  “Wanna go play in the fun part of this place?” Emily asked, and when Jaime nodded she led him toward the interactive exhibit where excited children were chattering. “Where do you want to start?”

  The room was filled with a variety of puzzles, and Emily waited for Jaime to choose one. Camila arrived to help him, so Emily leaned back to watch, her hands tucked into her jacket pockets.

  After the museum, they went for lunch in a nearby café. Camila was reluctant to say goodbye to Emily. She had had fun today too. As much as she loved her son and tried to reserve her weekends just for him, she got lonely sometimes not having another adult to talk to.

  She had few friends in the city, and she was startled to think that Emily might become one because, as much as Camila knew this was only a job to Emily, she suspected that it might become more than that.

  It was obvious from the way she smiled brightly when she walked into Camila’s apartment in the morning, the way she put Jaime first without hesitation, the way she brought him to Camila’s office because she knew it cheered her up.

  They were all simple, tiny gestures, but they were above and beyond what the job required. She knew that Emily was already besotted with Jaime, and even though it had only been a couple of weeks, Camila had no idea how she had ever coped without her.

  “Thank you for doing this,” Camila said softly once they were seated and Jaime was preoccupied with the crayons the waitress had given him. “You really didn’t have to. Even if he had thrown a tantrum, he would have gotten over it once we got to the dinosaurs. I’ll pay you for today, of course.”

  “No way.” Emily brushed her off. “Honestly, it’s fine. It didn’t even feel like work, and I’m happy to spend more time with you guys.” Her cheeks turned pink as soon as she said it.

  “Even though you were planning to spend time with your sister?”

  “I’ll see her later.” Emily shrugged. “Besides, it’s always fun taking kids around museums, especially if they haven’t been there before. They get so excited about everything.”

  “So do you,” Camila teased, and Emily’s cheeks flushed darker. Camila was enjoying this moment. “I’m glad you were there, though. There’s no way I could’ve answered even half of his questions as well as you did.”

  “I’m sure you would have managed.”

  “Not nearly as well as you.”

  Their food arrived, and Emily lit up at the sight of her burger and fries. She shook her head when Camila started on her salad.

  “What?”

  “It’s just leaves.”

  “It is not just leaves. There’s also dressing.”

  Emily grinned, and Camila focused on her salad so she wouldn’t think about how beautiful Emily looked, even under the café’s awful fluorescent lighting.

  After they had eaten, they went their separate ways. As she and Jaime watched Emily walk away, Camila felt lighter than she had felt in a long, long time.

  “I really like her, Mama,” Jaime said, looking up at her.

  Camila ruffled his hair gently. “Me too, Jaime. Me too.”

  * * *

  Cassie and Maia’s new apartment was only a few blocks away from their old one, and Emily had been there several times already. It was a bigger apartment with a second bedroom and a much larger kitchen, but the layout was the same.

  “So how was your date?” Cassie pounced on Emily as soon as she was through the door. Emily rolled her eyes as she set a bottle of wine on the breakfast bar.

  “It was not a date!”

  “Okay, how was your not date?” Cassie corrected, jumping up to sit on the counter next to where Maia was preparing the quesadillas.

  “It was… It was actually really fun.”

  “See? Aren’t you glad we interfered?”

  “I think the interfering was all yours, babe,” Maia said.

  “You didn’t stop her,” Emily pointed out, and Maia shrugged. “And if either of you ever do something like that again, I swear I will stop talking to both of you.” She tried to look stern, but the warning melted when Cassie grinned. “But yeah, I guess.”

  “I’ll try to behave.”

  That was probably the best Emily could hope for.

  “Seriously, though, you look happy. Do you still think you’ll never make a move?”

  “Yeah, because she’s still my boss, a fact that isn’t going to change anytime soon, so can we just drop it? Please?”

  “All right,” Cassie said, sulking.

  “Thank you. So what did you guys do today?”

  “We went to that new tapas bar for lunch. We’ll have to take you there one day because the menu is amazing,” Maia answered. “Then we shopped for a few things we needed to make this place more homey.”

  “We got a new rug,” Cassie added, stealing some cheese from a plate on the counter when Maia turned back to the stove. “Isn’t our life exciting?”

  “I don’t know.” Emily looked at them wistfully. “It sounds pretty perfect to me.”

  She had always ached for this kind of domestic bliss—the apartment and the girlfriend, someone to come home to after a long day at work, someone to cook with, someone to decorate with.

  “You’ll have this one day.” Cassie seemed to read her mind. “I promise.”

  Emily hoped she was right.

  Chapter 7

  Camila breezed into her apartment on the night of her gala dinner with five people in tow, all laden with heavy bags. Emily watched wide-eyed as they filed down the hall and into Camila’s bedroom.

  “My team of stylists,” Camila explained as she paused in the living room to greet Jaime. “To transform me into something beautiful.”

&nb
sp; “They won’t have to work very hard.” The words slipped out before she could stop them, and Camila raised her eyebrows. Emily looked away, knowing she was blushing again. “Just ’cause, you know, you’re already…” Emily willed herself to stop talking before she dug herself in deeper. “You know.”

  “Well, thank you, Emily. Let’s hope my date for the evening is as complimentary.”

  Emily tensed at that new information. It hadn’t occurred to her that Camila might have an escort for the night, but it made sense. Camila was newly single, after all, and she was probably expected to have someone at big events.

  “If he’s early, would you mind letting him in?”

  “Of course.” Whoever he was, he was a lucky guy, and Emily was going to be jealous of him for the whole damn night.

  Camila disappeared into her bedroom to get ready. Emily and Jaime carried on their battle with his favorite cartoon superhero figures.

  When someone knocked at the door a while later, Emily got up to admit Camila’s date, a good-looking man with a charming smile dressed in a tuxedo. She smiled woodenly at him.

  “I’m Emily, Camila’s nanny. Come on in. She’s just about ready.”

  “Thanks.” He stepped over the threshold. “I’m Stephen.” He shook her hand awkwardly, and she led him inside, where he hovered uncertainly near the couch.

  “You can sit, you know,” Emily said, trying to put him at ease as she sat back down next to Jaime.

  “Sorry.” He sat on the edge of the couch. “I guess I’m a little nervous.”

  Emily could understand that—if she was about to go on a first date with Camila, she would be too.

  “Who’s this little guy?”

  Jaime was watching Stephen warily.

  “This is Camila’s son. He’s a little shy around strangers.” Emily wrapped an arm around Jaime and pulled him closer until he relaxed a little.

  “Me too, sometimes,” Stephen whispered, and Jaime smiled uncertainly.

  They both turned at the sound of heels clicking on the hardwood floor. Camila swept into view wearing an emerald green dress that brought out her eyes. The neckline plunged to reveal smooth, pale skin that Emily ached to trace with her fingertips. The skirt was shaped to Camila’s hips, and Emily imagined herself standing behind her, slowly unzipping the dress. Her makeup was subtle, delicately accentuating her features, her hair brought out the shape of her face, and she was just… She was the most gorgeous woman Emily had ever seen.

  “Wow,” Stephen said, rising to his feet, “you look—”

  “—beautiful.” Emily said it so quietly that no one else heard it. But her lips formed the word, and Camila must have seen it, must have noticed the awestruck look on Emily’s face; if Camila had been oblivious to the effect she had on Emily before, she sure as hell was aware of it now.

  Emily dragged her gaze away from Camila to look down at her feet.

  “You look great,” Stephen finally choked out, and Emily almost scoffed because was that really the best he could come up with?

  “Thank you.” Camila’s eyes were still on Emily, she could feel them, but when Emily looked up, Camila was at Stephen’s side. “Are you ready to go?”

  “Sure.”

  “Be good for Emily, sweetheart.” Camila leaned down to press a lipstick kiss to his head. “And I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Night, Mama.”

  “Have a good night,” Emily said, and Camila waved as she and Stephen moved toward the door, the team of stylists close behind.

  Emily watched until the door closed behind them, then fell backward onto the floor. Jaime snuggled up next to her, and they stared up at the ceiling together for a moment. All she could think about was Camila in that dress, and she wished more than anything that she was the one by her side.

  She had to get over this before it killed her.

  * * *

  The second Camila arrived at the gala, she wanted to leave.

  She hated events like this, rubbing shoulders with the city’s elite, people she knew would gossip about her as soon as she turned her back.

  But it was a necessary part of her professional life and she only attended a few every year, so if she made it through this night, she’d have a few months before the next one.

  She had hoped that Stephen would keep her entertained, but she realized pretty quickly that he wouldn’t. He was nice enough; she’d known him for a while, met him at a dinner like this a few months ago, so when he asked if she wanted to go with him to this event, she had readily agreed. But she hadn’t realized that he had the personality of damp cloth.

  He was a banker and seemed incapable of talking about anything other than work, which Camila might have found interesting if his stories weren’t so boring. Even after three drinks, his personality was still so bland that Camila couldn’t wait to be home and never see him again.

  Home, where Emily was waiting.

  Camila let her mind drift to Emily whenever Stephen droned on. The look on her face when Camila had stepped into the room… God, it haunted her.

  Because Camila wasn’t stupid—she knew that Emily had a bit of a crush on her. The girl didn’t exactly hide it, and Camila had caught her staring on more than one occasion. She had to admit that she enjoyed the attention; Emily was young and striking, and the fact that she thought Camila was attractive was flattering—and appealing.

  But now she wondered if it was more serious than a harmless crush, judging from Emily’s reaction that evening. Emily had called her beautiful, and her own heart had beat a little faster when she saw desire flash across Emily’s face. It had sent a thrill through her, like a bolt of electricity straight to her core.

  It was then that she started to wonder if maybe her own attraction was growing into something more.

  And that could be dangerous because Emily was… Well, she was so young and innocent and far, far too good for her. Camila blackened everything she touched, and she would never touch Emily’s sweet young heart, no matter how much she might want to, because she refused to ruin Emily Walker.

  Especially considering how much Jaime loved her.

  So she lingered a little longer at the gala than she wanted to, let Stephen talk her ear off all night, and when she got back to her apartment, she invited him upstairs, even though she had no intention of letting him stay the night.

  But Emily might think otherwise, and it was the gentlest way to let her down. The look in Emily’s eyes when she spotted Stephen over Camila’s shoulder drove a knife into Camila’s chest, but it was better to do it now rather than later. If Emily saw her with someone else, maybe it would get her to move on.

  “Everything go okay?” Camila asked as Stephen helped her out of her coat.

  “Yeah. Jaime went to bed fine. He tried to sneak out a couple of times, but he eventually stayed put. Did you, uh”—Emily fidgeted, eyes flicking between Camila and Stephen—“have a good night?”

  “Wonderful,” she lied.

  “Great.” Emily smiled tightly, and Camila’s resolve almost broke. “Well, I’ll, um, leave you guys to it.” She reached for her coat, and Camila tried not to look at her shaking hands. “See you tomorrow.”

  “Goodnight, Emily.” Camila watched her go, her heart heavy but knowing this was for the best. The girl would bounce back, any ideas she had about Camila forgotten, and Camila would have to push her own thoughts about Emily somewhere deep, deep down until she forgot too.

  Not that that was likely. She hadn’t known Emily for very long, but it was long enough for Camila’s world to have been turned upside down, and she didn’t know how to ignore the way her heart pounded when she saw Emily with Jaime. It made her ache for a family, for a partner, for someone to share her life with—and God, how had Emily with her disarming smile torn down her carefully constructed walls so easily?

  She needed a dr
ink.

  She made one for herself and one for Stephen, tried to chase away the memory of the sad look in Emily’s eyes with the bitter taste of scotch, but it didn’t work.

  Stephen turned to kiss her, and Camila let him—it had been a long, long time—but it felt wrong, and she quickly pushed him away.

  “I think you should go,” she told him. He didn’t argue, just shrugged, and then he was out the door, leaving Camila alone with her thoughts.

  She sat in Jaime’s room for a while, watched his chest rise and fall, listening to his heavy breathing. It calmed her but didn’t distract her, and when she finally made her way to bed, she wished more than anything she had someone to share it with.

  * * *

  Emily didn’t sleep well that night.

  She couldn’t stop thinking about Camila in that stupid dress. She had probably spent the night with that guy, and she wished she had been the one to drag that zipper down Camila’s back, to kiss every inch of her skin, to fall into her and never let her go.

  Her thoughts burned, kept her up, invaded her mind, driving her mad until, finally, at five o’clock, she threw off the covers and headed to the nearby gym.

  It was busier than she expected, and as she pushed herself on the treadmill, trying to outrun her thoughts, she wondered whether everyone around her was haunted too, because she was pretty sure no one would be there that early if they had a choice.

  After thirty minutes, she felt better—a little.

  Wiping the sweat off her face, she headed for the weight room. She normally avoided lifting because the room was full of guys who thought they were God’s gift to women. Sure enough, as soon as she stepped inside several guys blatantly checked out her ass.

  She shrugged it off, smiling instead at the only other woman in there, a brunette with killer abs and sparkling blue eyes. Emily wouldn’t mind if she checked her out.

  She warmed up with some basic stretches before she moved toward one of the benches. Just as she laid back, a shadow fell over her, and she sighed, prepared to hear someone mansplain how to do a bench press.