Never Say Never

by Rachael Sommers

  “So tell me more about yourself, Emily. You said you had an unpredictable job.”

  “Kinda. I’m a nanny to a very cute five-year-old.”

  “Oh, cool. Full time?”

  “Yeah. His mom is pretty busy, and his dad is… absent. But it’s a great job. He’s a sweet kid.”

  “I can tell by the way you talk about him,” Megan said. “So was being a nanny always the plan? Are you going to take on another kid when he goes to school?”

  “I’m actually hoping to go back to school,” Emily replied, sipping her drink. “I want to get my master’s, maybe even a doctorate, and teach.”

  “What field?”

  “Astrophysics.”

  Megan blinked.

  “That’s the blank face I always get whenever I say that. It’s usually the end of the conversation.”

  “Now I’m intimidated by you. That’s incredible.”

  “It’s just what I’m good at.”

  “Well, I will not be able to keep up with you if you talk about anything physics- related because I nearly failed it in high school.”

  “What do you do?”

  “I have two jobs at the moment. I’m a barista during the day, but I’m also a personal trainer. Oh, and I teach martial arts too.”

  “Nice. I have a black belt in karate.”

  “Maybe we could spar some time.”

  “I’d like that.”

  Megan was easy to talk to, and Emily quickly found herself relaxing.

  “You said before you have a sister. Are you close?”

  “Yeah. There’s only a year’s difference between us, so growing up she was my best friend. I feel like you probably know what that’s like.”

  “Cassie is actually my foster sister,” Emily explained. “I went to live with her family when I was thirteen, and she was not happy to have me there at first.” Cassie had been a moody teenager who was furious at having to share a room. “I grew on her after a while, though, and we became inseparable.”

  “You lost your parents?”

  “Yeah, in a car crash.”

  “I’m sorry.” Megan’s hand closed around the back of hers and squeezed gently. “I lost my mom when I was fifteen. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d lost my dad, too.”

  “It was hard, but I’m lucky I ended up with the Joneses. Does your sister live nearby?”

  “Nah, she’s actually serving overseas,” Megan answered, fiddling with her straw. “She followed in Dad’s footsteps and joined the military—she was deployed a few months ago.”

  “That must be difficult.” It had been hard enough for Emily when she and Cassie were at different colleges—she couldn’t imagine being separated by continents, especially if Cassie was in the military.

  “Yeah, but she calls as often as she can. I’m looking forward to having her back, though.”

  “I’ll bet.”

  They talked awhile longer before calling it a night. They both had to get up early in the morning.

  “Let me walk you home?” Megan asked, pulling open the door to the bar.

  “Only if it’s not out of the way.”

  “Nah, I only live a few blocks away from you.” Megan fell into step beside her, their shoulders brushing as they walked. “I wish it wasn’t cloudy,” Megan said, peering up at the sky. “I was planning on asking you to show me the stars.”

  “Maybe next time.”

  “Presumptuous.”

  “O…oh, sorry, I just—”

  “Relax.” Megan cut her off with a laugh, her eyes sparkling under the streetlights. “I’m kidding. I just like seeing you blush. I’d love to see you again.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. I had fun tonight.” Megan leaned into Emily as they walked, her body warm against the night air. She was disappointed when they arrived at her apartment building; she wasn’t ready for the night to end. “I’ll text you so we can make plans.”

  “Okay.” Before she could change her mind, Emily reached out and pulled Megan into a kiss. Her lips were soft and warm, and it was nice, but she resisted the temptation to invite her inside. “I’ll see you soon.”

  “Bye, Emily.”

  Emily waited until Megan was out of sight before ducking inside the building. She was still smiling when she stepped into her apartment, feeling lighter than she had in ages. Peeling off her jacket and dropping onto the couch, she reached for her phone, knowing Cassie and Maia would be waiting for an update.

  * * *

  Wednesday was another hectic day, and it was complicated by a scheduling conflict that kept her from walking through her front door until ten after eight.

  It was the third night this week of not putting her son to bed. She didn’t see him enough during the day as it was, but she had made a promise to herself that she wouldn’t miss their nights, that she wouldn’t become a distant mother, leaving everything to the nanny.

  She worried that Jaime would resent her, that their relationship would turn sour, like Camila’s relationship with her own mother. Was she a terrible parent? Was her focus on work going to ruin things with her son? Was she doing a good enough job?

  She needed to do better. She needed to be home to feed him every night, not just to put him to sleep, but her job made late nights unavoidable, and as terrible as it might seem to others, she didn’t think she could ever give up her work.

  “Hey.” Emily emerged from the balcony, her sketch pad in one hand. Camila’s breath caught at the sight of her framed in the moonlight.

  She had changed clothes since that morning, into black jeans and a red blouse with a deep V-neck that showed off the sharp lines of her collarbones. And she was more heavily made up than Camila had ever seen her.

  She looked gorgeous.

  “You look nice,” Camila told her, trying to minimize the impact Emily was having on her. “Have you got plans?”

  “I have a date.”

  “Oh.” It shouldn’t surprise her—Emily was young and attractive, and of course it made sense for her to date. She certainly had no right to be jealous. “I haven’t made you late, have I?”

  “No, not at all. I should be right on time.”

  “Good.” Camila smiled through tight lips. “Everything go okay today?”

  “No problems to report. We went to the park. He played with a couple of other kids.”

  “He did?” That was unusual for Jaime—he usually kept to himself, even on the playground.

  “Uh-huh.” Emily glanced at her watch. “I should probably get going.”

  Camila waved her off. “Go, have fun. You deserve it. She’s a lucky girl, whoever she is.” Camila wanted to be happy for her, but all she could think about was Emily with another woman while she spent the evening alone.

  “Are you okay?” Emily asked.

  “I’m fine, just tired. I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a good night.”

  The door clicked shut, and Camila sighed heavily before padding down the hall to check on her son.

  He was sleeping peacefully, so she made her way to the kitchen and poured herself a scotch, then grabbed the bottle and retired to her study to numb her mind, to chase away thoughts of Emily. Always, always Emily. Camila couldn’t escape thinking of her, couldn’t wish that she wasn’t in her life, that she’d never hired her because she was so damn good at her job.

  Drinking didn’t work; it never did. It just left a bitter taste in her mouth, and when she eventually fell asleep, she dreamed of blonde hair and blue, blue eyes.

  * * *

  Emily was still thinking about the sad look in Camila’s eyes when she stepped out of the subway station.

  Megan was already there waiting for her, leaning against the wall, looking at her phone, and Emily stopped to admire her. She wore a floaty blue dress with matching heels, a l
eather jacket thrown over her shoulders.

  Emily tried to clear her mind of Camila as she approached Megan, not wanting to ruin their night together, determined to give them a shot.

  “Hey,” Emily called out when she was a few steps away. Megan lifted her eyes from her phone, slipped it into her pocket, and kissed Emily’s cheek. “You look…amazing.”

  “You don’t look so bad yourself,” Megan replied, scanning Emily appreciatively. “Good day at work?”

  “Yep, and I even finished on time.”

  “Lucky for me. Come on.” Megan linked her arm through Emily’s and guided her down the street. “Have you got your dancing shoes on?”

  “You should probably know that while I agreed to go to a dance class with you, I have absolutely no sense of rhythm, and I’m probably going to embarrass you.”

  “It’s a good thing I’m not easily embarrassed, then, isn’t it?” Megan said as she pulled open the door of the dance studio. “But don’t worry—it’s a mixed class, and you can’t be worse than some of the other beginners.”

  “You haven’t seen me yet,” Emily muttered, but she braced herself and stepped inside.

  A few people were already milling around, but none of them gave her a second glance as she followed Megan to a corner of the room. She shrugged out of her jacket and draped it behind one the chairs that lined the wall.

  “You look like you’re about to pass out,” Megan said, laughing at the apprehension on Emily’s face. “We don’t have to stay—there’s still time to escape if you want to go somewhere else.”

  “No, it’s fine.” Now that Emily was there, she was determined to see it through. “I’ve got this.”

  “You’ll be fine.”

  Megan pulled her into dance position as the instructor stepped to the front of the room. Emily tried to follow the steps, but it felt like she was watching the movements on fast forward, and she was lost after the first five minutes.

  Megan didn’t seem to mind, though. Her eyes were twinkling, and she laughed when Emily stepped on her toes for about the tenth time. After a while, Emily relaxed, worrying less about what everyone thought and more about having Megan in her arms.

  “Still think I’m not the worst one here?” Emily asked during a break, trying to catch her breath before she drank from her bottle of water.

  “Well, I agree you have no sense of rhythm,” she replied, grinning at Emily’s fake outrage, “but you’re not that bad. You’re getting better already—we’ll make a pro out of you in no time.”

  “How did you get into this?”

  “I used to dance a little in high school, but I stopped after I went to college. When I moved here, I thought it might be a good way to meet people.”

  “Pick up women, you mean?”

  “I thought that was what the gym was for.”

  “Speaking of the gym, I’m pretty sure I’m going to be sore tomorrow. This is working muscles I didn’t know I had.”

  “You’ll just have to take it easy. Don’t throw the kid around. Or maybe you could teach him some dance moves.”

  “That’s actually not a bad idea.” Jaime would probably love standing on her feet as she whisked him around the room.

  She was still thinking about Jaime when the instructor clapped her hands to signal the end of the break. As Emily faced Megan again, placing one hand on her shoulder, her mind wandered to Camila. She wondered what she’d be like as a dance partner, if she’d move with Megan’s easy grace, if her hands would gently correct her form.

  “You okay?” Megan asked, bringing her back to the moment. “You look like you’re a million miles away.”

  “Sorry.” Emily shook her head, mortified that Megan had noticed. “Got lost in my thoughts.”

  “Is this getting to be too much work for you?” Megan teased, and Emily looked down guiltily because here she was with a gorgeous woman in her arms, thinking of someone else.

  Emily tightened her hold on Megan’s waist, pulling her closer, and tried to chase all thoughts of Camila from her mind.

  Chapter 9

  The next Sunday morning, Emily was woken up by the incessant buzzing of her phone on the nightstand. Groaning, she rolled onto her side and reached blindly, wondering who was calling her at eight o’clock.

  She answered quickly when she saw Camila’s name flash across the screen.

  “Emily, thank God.” Camila sounded relieved. “I’m sorry to bother you on a weekend again, but… Well, my mother’s in town and wants to have lunch, and I’d really rather not take Jaime with me. Is there any way you could watch him?”

  “Uh—” Emily, still blinking sleep out of her eyes, took a moment to process the request. “Yeah, I can.”

  “Are you sure? You can say no.”

  “No, no, it’s fine.”

  “You don’t have any plans?”

  “My sister and her girlfriend are coming over to my place later today, but that’s about it. And we can always reschedule.”

  “No, you shouldn’t have to do that.”

  “It’s fine, honestly.”

  “How about…” Camila trailed off. “Perhaps I could bring Jaime over to your apartment and you can keep him there for the day.”

  “Is that okay with you?” She knew that Camila trusted Emily with her son, but it was different taking him to a place that Camila herself wasn’t familiar with. “My apartment isn’t exactly childproof.”

  “I trust that you’ll keep a good eye on him. Are you sure it’s okay?”

  “Yeah, yeah, it’s fine.” She rattled off her address, but when Camila told her she’d be there within the hour, she panicked because her apartment was messy and she needed a shower.

  Oh yeah, and there was a woman in her bed.

  “Everything okay?”

  Emily hung up the phone and turned to see blue eyes looking up at her. After another date with Megan last night, Megan had walked her home, and Emily had invited her in.

  It had been fun and casual, exactly what she needed, and it didn’t hurt that Megan was a good lover.

  “Yeah, fine.” She liked seeing the other woman in the morning, her hair a tangled mess. “Turns out I have to work today too.”

  Megan was scheduled for the afternoon shift at the coffee shop. “You weren’t kidding about your job being unpredictable.”

  “Nope. So I have”—she glanced at the clock—“about fifty minutes to shower, get dressed, and make my apartment tidy enough for a five-year-old.”

  “Piece of cake.” Megan grinned, and Emily leaned over to kiss her.

  She showered, leaving her hair to air dry, and returned to the bedroom to find something clean to wear. As she pulled on sweats and a loose sweatshirt, Megan slipped into the bathroom for her own shower.

  She tidied up quickly: threw clothes into the hamper, washed and put away dishes, and cleared some space on the coffee table in case Jaime wanted to color later. Then she surveyed the place, looking for anything that could be dangerous to a curious child. When she found nothing, she let out her breath and made her way to the kitchen to brew a pot of coffee.

  Moments later, there was a knock on her door. Emily opened it and was almost bowled over by a mop of blond curls.

  “Hey, buddy,” she laughed. “How you doing?”

  “Good because I get to see you!”

  “That’s sweet.” Camila stood in the doorway, a harried look on her face. “You look like you’re not doing so good.”

  “I’ve had better Sundays. I really am sorry about doing this to you again.”

  “Honestly, it’s fine. We’re gonna have a good day, aren’t we, Jaime?”

  He nodded enthusiastically.

  “Is it okay if we hang out with my sister and Maia? You met them at the museum. Maia’s a policewoman.”

  “She is?” Jaime asked, w
ide-eyed.

  “Uh-huh.”

  “That’s cool! Is this where you live?” Jaime looked around the apartment. “Can I go look at your stuff?”

  “Of course you can.” She took his hand, not wanting him to go too far—she didn’t know if Megan was dressed yet. “Do you want to come in too? I just brewed a fresh pot of coffee.”

  “I’d like th—oh.” Emily’s bedroom door opened. “I didn’t realize you had company.” Emily watched Camila silently appraise Megan. “You should’ve said something.”

  “Oh, it’s fine.” Megan reached for her leather jacket that had been thrown over the back of the couch. “I have to be at work soon anyway.” She turned to Emily. “I’ll call you later.” She kissed her cheek as she passed, closing the door behind her.

  Emily turned back to Camila. “Coffee?”

  “No, thank you,” she said coolly. “I should probably get going.” Then to Jaime, “You be good, young man.”

  “I always am!”

  “I’ll let you know when I can escape. Here are some of Jaime’s things.” Camila handed over a full bag. “It should keep him occupied.”

  “Thanks. I hope it isn’t too awful.”

  Camila grimaced, then waved at Jaime before turning away.

  Emily closed the door behind her, then showed Jaime around the apartment. He lit up when he saw her canvas and paints, and Emily chuckled, knowing how they’d be spending their morning.

  * * *

  Camila’s mind was still reeling when she walked into the five-star restaurant her mother had chosen for lunch.

  She knew that Emily was dating someone, but knowing that and walking in to see them the morning after were two different things. Camila was going to have the image of another woman kissing Emily’s cheek burned onto her eyelids for the rest of the day.

  She had to shake it off before she met with her mother. She could only survive lunch with Charlotte Evans if she went in with walls high, showing no trace of vulnerability, lest she be ripped apart.

  Her mother was sitting at a table in the corner, and she watched critically as Camila approached. She wore a simple black dress covered with a white jacket. Her dark hair was carefully styled, as usual, and her glasses were perched on her nose.