Potterwookiee

by Obert Skye

  I scooted over and stood in front of my dresser, just to be safe. My friends weren’t interested in my drawer. They were just annoyed with Jack for bringing them over to see a stuffed animal. Teddy punched Jack in the arm and called him a couple of names as they all turned to head back out of my window. I would have been safe, had Rourk not decided to open his dumb mouth.

  Rourk is one of our friends, but he rarely makes things better when he talks. He likes to act tough, talk loud, and sometimes even swear. Of course, it isn’t real swearing. He just repeats what he thinks he heard his older brother say. He usually hears it wrong in the first place, so his swear words don’t make much sense.

  My mom never lets me have sleepovers at Rourk’s house, and I’m fine with that. Last time Aaron stayed at Rourk’s, he had to sleep on the floor, and Rourk’s older brother shaved the side of his head and stole his pants.

  Now as my friends were getting ready to leave, Rourk decided to open his bothersome mouth and say …

  I grabbed Hairy and backed away. I tried to reason with them, but they had only one thing on their minds. It looked like Hairy was headed for a bit of trouble.

  CHAPTER 4

  THE FLINGER

  Okay, now might be the perfect spot for a …

  I need to fill you in on something. In my neighborhood, there are alleys that run behind most of the houses. Once a week, garbage trucks drive down them and collect the trash. The rest of the time, we use the alleys as shortcuts to travel around the neighborhood. A good thing about the alleys is the big trash cans. On occasion Trevor and I will go Dumpster diving and find cool stuff that other people have foolishly thrown away.

  Three months ago, Trevor and I found a really big plastic plank. We had no idea what it was, but we knew it was definitely worth keeping. We carried the plank from the alley, and after making a few stops to test its strength, we brought it to the rock-covered island in the middle of our cul-de-sac.

  When we got to the island, we put the plastic plank across a log. For some reason, we thought it would make a really great seesaw.

  It was too low and short to work as a seesaw, so we decided to turn it into a catapult. I taped a big bowl onto one end and then we moved it next to one of the big rocks on the island. Now all we have to do is leap off the jumping rock onto the other end of the plastic plank, and it flings stuff way up into the air.

  After the stuff shoots up, we try to catch it as it comes down.

  My friends and I have launched watermelons, apples, footballs, pretty much anything we think will go up and come down in an enjoyable way. The best thing the Flinger has flung up so far is a bunch of ice cream sandwiches. Jack took them from his freezer and peeled off the wrappers, and we launched dozens at a time. Jack ended up getting grounded for wasting food, and they were pretty hard to catch, but the damage they caused was tasty.

  Rourk had to take two showers just to get all the ice cream and cookie parts out of his hair.

  All right, sorry for the interruption. I just thought it might be a good idea to fill you in on the Flinger, seeing how it was about to cause Hairy some grief.

  CHAPTER 5

  TAKING SIDES

  I stepped back farther, holding Hairy tightly. There was no way they were going to put him in the Flinger.

  I was going to demand that everyone leave my room, but before I could make the demand, Jack lunged for Hairy. As I moved to avoid Jack, Teddy yanked Hairy from my hands. Teddy then leapt out my window with everyone squeezing out right after him.

  I charged after my friends. I ran across the street and over to the rock island, where they were all gathering around the Flinger. Jack was on top of the jumping rock, Teddy was putting Hairy in the launch bowl, and Aaron had climbed up one of the crooked palm trees to get a better view.

  I didn’t want to sound like a baby begging for his stuffed animal. Still, I had to help Hairy.

  I was about to shove Teddy out of the way when a car pulled up in front of Janae’s house. I know that a car pulling up in front of a house really isn’t that big a deal, but it was Janae’s house, and Janae was in the car.

  The woman who was driving stopped, and Janae and two of her friends got out. I quit arguing with Teddy and tried to look cool. The girls spotted us and started walking in our direction. They were wearing tennis outfits and carrying rackets. I tried to be smooth and make a joke.

  Janae smiled while her friends laughed. I felt like an idiot. I wanted to get on the Flinger and have someone fling me away. Teddy made me feel even dumber by filling them in on what was happening.

  For some reason, Janae and her friends thought that was funny, too. Trevor tried to stick up for me, but it didn’t help.

  I was so embarrassed that my brain completely clocked out.

  I couldn’t think of a single thing to say to defend myself. So I just stood there silently. Fortunately, Janae began talking. Unfortunately, while talking, she informed us that she and her friends were going to be trying out for Average Chef. I had to say something, so my brain reluctantly clocked back in.

  With my brain working again, I could feel words coming up my throat and pushing to get out of my mouth. I opened my mouth and blurted out …

  Janae looked a little stunned. She stood there staring at me as if I had said something terrible. One of her friends pushed her aside and stepped closer to let us know how things would be.

  It was nice of Trevor to step up, but none of my friends know how to cook. I did need help for the tryouts. It just didn’t seem like they would want to participate in a cooking contest. I asked them if they were serious about helping me.

  I told them “probably,” and just like that, they were all in. Jack started talking about how famous he was going to be as Janae stepped closer. I thought she was going to whisper something encouraging, but instead she said …

  I thought about pointing out to her how all great chefs were men, but then I remembered a bunch of women chefs who were great, too. Duh. I thought about telling her I would back out if she promised to like me. Jack, however, ruined the mood by jumping off the rock and onto the Flinger. He was tired of waiting to fling Hairy. Jack came down hard on the end of the catapult and sent Hairy skyrocketing straight into the air. I couldn’t be sure, but it sounded like Hairy was muttering something.

  Hairy went flinging upward. I kept my eyes on him as he arched and then began to fall back down to earth. A breeze blew him to the right, and I had to run and then twist and dive to even make the catch.

  I rolled over on the rocks and dirt of the island and came to a stop, wrapping myself around the palm tree Aaron was clinging to. Rocks were flying everywhere. I managed to shield Hairy so he wasn’t harmed. Waving my right arm, I let the others know I was alive.

  Nobody seemed that relieved. I stood up, dusted myself off, and then stormed back to my house with my Potterwookiee to pout in private. Everyone including Janae laughed as I walked away.

  It wasn’t unusual for my friends to laugh at me, but Janae and her friends had no right. I stomped into my house, put Hairy on my bed, and then went right to the computer. I had something to prove, and I wanted to make sure I would get the chance to do it.

  I signed up for Average Chef online and then went to my room. I was irritated with my friends, and my head felt like it needed a distraction. As I set Hairy down on my pillow, one of his fingers twitched and pointed toward the books on my bed. As he twitched, he mumbled something that sounded like “hurry.” He could have been saying “Murray,” but that made no sense. I think he wanted me to hurry and read so that I could find a solution to his problem. I grabbed one of my books and dove in headfirst.

  CHAPTER 6

  TUCKED AWAY

  After a couple hours of reading, I put my book down. I stared at Hairy as he lay there. I wanted to call Trevor over so we could discuss the little Potterwookiee, but I didn’t want to leave Hairy alone, since our only phone was in the kitchen. Things would be different if I had a cell phone, or if I was allowed
to lock my bedroom door. Of course, my mom won’t let me do that. She always says …

  In fact, checking to make sure that my bedroom door isn’t locked is one of the few things my mom enjoys getting off the couch to do. She likes to know that my door is unlocked so she can go in and make sure I haven’t done something horrible.

  So with my door always unlocked, Tuffin was free to wander in and take Hairy. And while Tuffin wouldn’t intentionally hurt Hairy, he was great at shoving things in places they didn’t belong. I could only imagine where he might put the Potterwookiee.

  I looked down at my purple beanbag, and a possible solution popped into my head. I grabbed the beanbag and unzipped it just enough to slip Hairy into it. I pressed him into the soft white foam balls and then zipped it back up. I left a small opening at the end of the zipper so he could peek out.

  It was a perfect hiding place because Tuffin was scared of my beanbag and wouldn’t go near it. Ever since he had watched the movie The Blob, he was afraid that my beanbag was going to eat him. Of course it didn’t help that I told him some beanbags really did snack on people who sat on them.

  With Hairy hidden, I ran to the kitchen and called Trevor and told him to hurry over. Of all the kids I hang out with, Trevor is definitely my best friend. He’s a smart kid, who usually goes along with my plans. His glasses are constantly crooked, and his hair always looks like it is freshly cut. I share everything with Trevor, except for the fact that I still collect Thumb Buddies.

  I went back into my room and unzipped the beanbag. I pulled Hairy out. He was covered in tiny foam balls.

  It wasn’t easy to clean Hairy off. When I was done, there were little foam balls all over my room. I was trying to sweep them up when Trevor arrived. He crawled in through my bedroom window, and I gave Hairy to him so he could take a closer look. I explained how Hairy appeared to be part Harry Potter and part Wookiee and that I was calling him Hairy because it was shorter than Potterwookiee. I also told him how I believed that Hairy was under some sort of spell and we needed to break it.

  I had seen Trevor’s family photo album, and it really wasn’t that great. Trevor was an only child, and it was just a bunch of boring pictures of him standing in different places next to his dad.

  I shoved Hairy back into my beanbag, and Trevor and I ran across the street to look at the book.

  When we got to Trevor’s house, his mom made us look at the magic book with her so that she could make sure we weren’t getting our fingerprints all over it. It was filled with all kinds of cool facts about famous wizards. There was a large section about Harry Potter. Some facts were real, like what side of a broom you should get on to ride it—the left—and how to wash invisibility cloaks.

  We didn’t get a chance to finish looking for answers, because I accidentally sneezed all over the book. You would have thought I had hurt a baby seal the way Trevor’s mom was screaming. I tried to apologize, but she was too busy kicking us out of the house to hear me.

  When we got back to my room, the beanbag was missing. I screamed, sounding a little like Trevor’s mom. I thought Tuffin had taken it, but it turned out it was my mom. She had come to check if my door was locked, noticed the little foam balls all over my room, and decided to throw the beanbag away.

  We ran out back as fast as we could. I knew it was trash day and we didn’t have a moment to spare. The second we stepped out the back door, I could hear the garbage truck in the alley. I tore across my backyard and threw open the gate. What we saw made me want to pass out.

  The beanbag was being tossed into the garbage truck! I ran out of the gate screaming, but the truck began to move quickly down the alley.

  I could see the truck stop at the next house and lift the garbage can. After it set the can down, it began to close the back and compact the trash inside. Hairy was going to be crushed like a soda can!

  All at once, I reached down and picked up the biggest rock I could find. I heaved it as hard as I could. The rock hit the back of the metal truck and made a tremendously loud BONG!

  The front door of the truck opened, and a big guy wearing a safety helmet and gloves got out and looked at me. He was holding a garbage stabber and breathing heavily.

  I was scared, but I had to help Hairy. I pleaded with the man to please turn off the truck. He reached in and turned the key, causing the truck to hiss and then grow silent. The man yelled at me for throwing rocks, but when I explained that something important had been thrown away, he seemed to relax and understand my dilemma.

  The man pressed a button, and the back of the truck hissed and opened. There, pressed into all the other trash, was my beanbag. It wasn’t completely smashed, but I could tell that if it had gone two seconds longer, Hairy would have been more like a paper doll than a stuffed animal. The truck driver pulled out the beanbag and gave it to me like he was some sort of garbage Santa.

  Trevor and I thanked the garbage guy about a hundred times and then took the dirty beanbag back to my room. When I pulled Hairy out, he was slightly smooshed. Luckily, the white foam balls had kept him from getting hurt.

  Hairy grunted as if he agreed. We carefully helped him straighten out and clean off. Trevor and I then spent the rest of the afternoon reading while Hairy lay on my bed not smelling that great. He did smile slightly, though, as he stared at the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling.

  CHAPTER 7

  FINDING SOLUTIONS

  We read late into the night. Then Trevor went home, and I read some more.

  As the days went on, Hairy would mumble and twitch, but he still spent most of his time not moving. When we hang out in my room, I just read to him. I think he likes it. I’ve been tearing through the books about him hoping to learn more.

  I know that somewhere in the stories there’s a permanent solution to Hairy’s condition. Trevor has been reading, too. He read the entire Harry Potter series a long time ago, but now he’s going through the books again, searching for the answer to get Hairy out of his spell.

  I finished the first volume of Harry Potter, and now I’m ten pages away from finishing the Star Wars book, A New Hope. My dad also claims it’s the best because it was the first one made. I’m amazed by how much extra stuff is crammed into the books. My head feels like a Tetris game, filling up with bonus knowledge and information.

  It seems like I’m reading all the time now. I even got busted at school yesterday for reading during class. I can honestly say that’s never happened to me before.

  Ever since the trash truck incident, I’ve been keeping Hairy safe and in my bottom dresser drawer. It was hard to do but I moved all my Thumb Buddies out into a hidden box in the garage. I worry about some of my more easily frightened Thumb Buddies.

  So I now have an okay place to keep Hairy when I’m not in my room. The ongoing issue with him is that he stinks. My room smells awful. I’m starting to get a really bad reputation.

  I’ve thought about taking him to school, but Principal Smelt would probably think the smell is me, and I’d get a lecture on hygiene.

  So, after coming home from school today, I decided to finally do something about Hairy’s animal scent. I put Hairy and a bar of mint soap in my backpack and headed to the backyard. Libby was already out there, and she wasn’t happy to see me.

  Libby was taking pictures of herself near the pool. She set up her camera and took shots of herself smelling flowers, suntanning, and tossing her hair. Libby claimed it’s for some school art project, but I’ve never heard of one where you’re assigned to make weird faces into a camera.

  Libby insisted that I go back inside. I told her I had more important stuff to do than take pictures of myself, and she stormed off to tell on me.

  I walked over to the back fence near a big metal tub and hose. I turned the hose on and began to fill up the basin we used to wash Puck in. I stood Hairy in the tub and let the water rise up around him. He didn’t make a fuss because he couldn’t move. I could tell from his expression, however, that he wasn’t completely
thrilled about the idea.

  I let the tub fill up and then splashed some water on his head and face. I soaped him up and was trying really hard to be careful, but as I turned him around, he slipped and went under. I had forgotten to bring a towel, so I pulled him out and hung him up in one of the trees to let the wind dry him off as the tub drained.

  Sadly, there wasn’t any wind, and I didn’t have time to wait for Hairy to dry out. So I set him in the now empty tub and ran inside to get a blow-dryer.

  Inside, my mom was opening the mail and listening to Libby complain about me interrupting her photo shoot.

  I ignored them and snuck to the bathroom to get Libby’s blow-dryer. I got it and grabbed an extension cord. I then spent a few minutes drying Hairy off. The good news was that he didn’t smell bad anymore—in fact, he smelled sort of minty—but the drying had made him puffy.