The Twisted Fairy Tale Box Set

by Holly Hook

  "Try the bread," Eric said through a mouthful of deviled egg.

  I did. The bread was amazing and just a little spicy. "What kind is it?"

  "Beer bread," he told me with a grin. "Don't get too excited. The alcohol burns off when it's cooked, so the beer is just for flavor. "

  "Beer bread?" Devon asked. He and his football friends all gravitated towards where Eric's loaf was sitting. "Beer bread!"

  Eric snorted. "They'll be disappointed." He speared the purple lettuce leaves, and I waited with bated breath.

  "Eric! Don't eat that!"

  Sara shoved past me and I jumped in shock. I fell into the bench of the picnic table to where Moanna was sitting and sampling some coleslaw. Sara knocked Eric's paper plate out of his hands and it went toppling to the ground, food and all.

  "Sorry," I said to Moanna. She gave me a dirty look, but I ignored it. "Sara—what are you doing?"

  She faced me. Sara was shaking and very pale. Her gaze darted over to the edge of the baseball diamond.

  I turned.

  Sara wasn't the only one acting strange. One of Devon's friends had dropped his paper plate and purple lettuce had gone everywhere along with a deviled egg. He wrapped his arms around himself and sank down to all fours. Next to him, a guy named Nort was already on his hands and knees and his face seemed longer than usual—a lot longer. Another plate of lettuce had fallen next to him, leaving brilliant purple on grass. His face was turning tan. His eyes, black.

  And short hair was sprouting all over his body.

  "What is going on here?" Mrs. Landry asked. She ran towards the boys and stopped.

  I felt as if I was watching a clay animation play out before me. The boys struggled to stand up from the grass, but they couldn't. More fur sprouted. Tan for Nort, and gray for Devon's friend. Shirts strained and ripped, revealing more fur.

  Sara grabbed my arm and Eric cursed. Both classes ran over and crowded around the two boys while Mrs. Landry tried to wave them back. Some girls screamed and backed away, throwing down their plates of food. Salad and veggies toppled everywhere. Green mixed with purple. Another one of Devon’s friends got out his phone and held it above the crowd, trying to film.

  Eric broke away from us and ran to join the crowd. He stood on his toes and looked back at us. “Come here!” he shouted. “You won’t believe this.”

  I backed away. Sickness filled my insides like green scum. Something was wrong. Something was way wrong.

  And it might have to do with my salad. Both guys had it on their plates. Sara had noticed something wrong before I did. She stared at me, her mouth falling open in horror. Sara made a squeaking sound and pointed to the middle of the giant huddle.

  Mrs. Landry pushed into the middle of everyone and held up her hands. “Back away!” she shouted. “Give them some room. Everyone, stop crowding them and give them some space.” She wore a look of scary calm like someone in shock.

  The two classes backed away. More people threw down their plates to join the others already on the ground.

  I did the same. Food was the last thing I wanted right now.

  Two donkeys stood in the middle of everyone where Devon’s friend and Nort had been standing before. A tan one, and a gray one. They looked at each other and at the crowd as if they didn’t know what to do. Purple lettuce and deviled eggs and beer bread lay scattered everywhere as if the donkeys had crashed our party and gone after all our food. Nort’s clothes lay torn on the ground along with Devon’s friend’s. One donkey made a grunting sound and turned around to check itself out. Another, more terrified grunting sound followed as it turned and tried to see its other side.

  I blinked again and again, trying to dismiss it. But the scene didn’t go away.

  Could this be Nort and Devon’s buddy themselves?

  Some curse had fallen on them. No. Curses weren’t real. Why couldn’t I remember that? I pinched myself as hard on the arm as I could, almost hard enough to draw blood. Pain screamed, but I didn’t wake.

  Mrs. Landry stepped in front of the donkeys and waved the people behind them to the front. Students filed past them, silent with mouths hanging open. One last girl still clutching her plate of food tossed it to the grass to join the others already there.

  Nort and Devon’s friend had turned into donkeys. Unless this was the most elaborate trick someone had ever played, Sara and I were seeing a real live curse.

  And it had come from our garden.

  The gray donkey took a step, lowered its face to the ground, and munched on more of the purple lettuce. It ate until there was nothing left and moved on to the beer bread still on the ground. The tan donkey joined in and ate as if nothing else in the world mattered. I took another step back. Mrs. Landry knew the purple salad was mine. That me and Sara were there when Mr. Rain choked. She would blame this on me for sure and I had no proof I had nothing to do with it.

  Something had happened to our garden and now strange things were following me around. I had the horrible feeling the lettuce might have meant to target me.

  Sara raised her hand and broke the ominous silence that had fallen. “What happened?”

  Mrs. Landry faced her and screwed up her face. She pulled a cell phone from her pocket, eyed it, and put it back. “I don’t know,” she said. She raised both arms and shouted over the nervous chatter and the shock. “Everyone, just head back to the Foods room while we clean up this mess. Sit tight. I must take care of this."

  “Head back to the Foods room?” Moanna asked. “Did I see what I thought I saw?” She was one notch below hysterical. Her black hair was a mess and her mouth was hanging open.

  Mrs. Landry sighed. “I will straighten out this mess. Please, just head back there and wait.” She pulled down her sleeve again, but not before I glimpsed red on her arm. I was seeing things. None of this made any sense. Then she faced Eric. “You were over there talking to Mara and Sara, right?”

  Eric nodded.

  “Then do something useful and clean up all this lettuce,” Mrs. Landry snapped at him. “I think you’re the man for the job.”

  The two donkeys continued to eat. A few people detached from the crowd and headed back towards the school, taking glances back every second. Others followed and a whole stream of people walked past us. No one spoke now. No one knew what to do. Mrs. Landry continued to glare at Eric.

  She might blame the beer bread. Everyone had gone for that right before this happened. It was lying there next to the donkeys. Perhaps the purple lettuce had nothing to do with this.

  Or perhaps Mr. Rain was a nice man, and the moon was green.

  “I had nothing to do with this,” Eric said. “Everyone was talking to other people. I don’t know what was in the food today but I don’t think it’s a good idea to be touching it. Why are you singling me out?”

  “Now,” Mrs. Landry ordered. Then she turned her glare on Sara and I. “The two of you need to head back into the school. Don’t say a word about this to anyone you might see.”

  I couldn’t hold it back. The lettuce remained as strange as ever. If Eric touched it and then lifted his fingers to his mouth that might be bad. Just no. “Why are you picking on him?” I asked, speaking through my shock. “We know there’s something wrong with the food here. Shouldn’t you call a hazmat team to come clean it up? Tell them there’s botulism or anthrax on it or something. Or at least get gloves and pick it up yourself.”

  Mrs. Landry eyed me like a deer caught in headlights, as if I had caught her doing something that could get her fired. Maybe that was the case. She turned away and faced the two donkeys, who couldn't stop themselves from eating. “Just go, all three of you. I’ll have someone else come out and take care of the mess and figure out what’s going on. I need to go to the office. We’ll leave these donkeys out here to clean the food up for us.”

  I couldn’t believe her. The shock must be clouding Mrs. Landry’s ability to think. “That’s Nort and that one guy I don’t know the name of,” I said. “I think that’s
a little more important than the mess.”

  Sara tugged on my arm. “Come on. Please. I’m freaked out.”

  The tan donkey wandered over to the beer bread and gobbled it down with some gross livestock chewing sounds. It seemed like all he cared about now was eating. The gray one joined him and chowed down on another piece of beer bread which sat on top of a pile of bright green lettuce. Mrs. Landry shook her head and just watched. I couldn’t believe she was blaming anyone for staring. Things like this shouldn’t happen. Ever.

  The last of Eric’s beer bread disappeared into donkey mouth.

  “I guess it people liked it,” Eric managed. His words betrayed his fear. “It wasn’t the beer bread that did this, was it?” He forced a smile at us all, but Mrs. Landry sighed again as if she’d caught these two donkeys smoking in the bathroom or something. Didn’t she understand what was going on here?

  The gray donkey reached the green lettuce and continued to chow down. The tan one joined it and Sara’s Light Side salad disappeared underfoot.

  Sara took a step back, almost bumping into Eric.

  Both donkeys stopped.

  The tan one looked up and trembled. A strange noise came from its throat and its black eyes got huge. The gray donkey did likewise and Mrs. Landry waved us back.

  “Get back into the school,” she barked. “Go wait in the Foods room!”

  I refused to move. I couldn’t by now, anyway. The three of us were too transfixed by what was going on in front of us.

  Both donkeys were once again changing shape.

  They grew taller than before. Hair shrunk into skin and faces shortened. Tails retracted and back legs grew longer. Joints popped. They were both returning to their normal forms.

  Mrs. Landry grew silent and backed away as the two boys returned to normal before us. Nort gasped, looked down, and let a look of sheer terror came over his face.

  Sara screamed.

  And then I saw why.

  Both guys were naked.

  Chapter Four

  Sara and Eric and I left Nort and the other guy to deal with the most humiliating day of their lives. We ran into the school. Eric kept his face in his hands, shaking his head and muttering “no,” as we all entered the building and left them behind with Mrs. Laney. She could deal with that mess. She wanted us all gone, anyway.

  My purple lettuce.

  It had to be the purple lettuce that had turned those two guys into donkeys.

  And Sara’s bright green lettuce had turned them back.

  Something very wrong had happened in our garden yesterday while I was upstairs.

  Something even worse had happened to Mr. Rain.

  And Sara had been there both times.

  No. It couldn’t be. Sara wasn’t a mean girl. She wasn’t some kind of witch.

  Was she?

  But she’d also been sitting there in Mr. Rain’s classroom when I woke up from that dream. When I felt like I had landed there from another place.

  “No, no, no,” Eric groaned. He withdrew his face from his hands. “I did not see Nort and Joey naked.”

  I was so panicked over the donkey thing that there was no room left to freak out over that. “Um…Eric?” I asked.

  We walked down the Lit hall and turned the corner to head back to the Foods room. Loud chatter came out of the kitchen. It was chaos in there. I could tell even with the door most of the way shut. Mrs. Hendry stood just inside and said something to someone. People had already alerted her to what was going on, then.

  This would be the day she would always remember.

  Sara and I pushed into the classroom and crammed in by everyone else. Eric came in behind us. “I can’t believe she wanted me to clean up that food,” Eric said. “That’s almost as bad as seeing—"

  “Shhh!” Sara hushed him. “I don’t hate Nort and Joey. Maybe we should, you know, keep that part under wraps.”

  “I agree,” I said, stifling a laugh. I knew this wasn't funny but—Nort and Joey naked.

  Mrs. Laney wouldn’t gossip about their lack of clothing unless it was to the other teachers. Okay. Maybe Mr. Rain would let something slip in class if either of them had him. I shook my head, unable to get the last ten minutes out of my head. I could only think of Nort and Joey trying to cover themselves and trying to put on their ruined pants while Mrs. Laney tapped out a message on her phone. The profuse swearing Joey had done. The intense redness in Nort’s cheeks and his silence. They must both fear for their reputations now. I’d never be able to face either one of them again. I wouldn’t even be able to walk through the same hallway as them.

  “What happened?” Moanna asked me. “Are those two donkeys still out there?”

  The confused look on her face told me she was just as clueless as everyone else in the room. Phones were out and people were texting. Whispering. “Not anymore,” I managed when a terrible thought hit me.

  No one knew what food item had caused what.

  And no one knew the stuff in our garden was still dangerous.

  I tugged on Sara's sleeve as all thoughts of her involvement flew away. "We have to go."

  "Why?" she asked.

  Why. I couldn't believe she didn't realize. I mouthed the words Haven House.

  We had seven kids there along with Stephanie, who might feed them a healthy meal tonight. Who might pick some bright lettuce to make something interesting for the kids.

  Two of them, Mike and Jose, only had a half day kindergarten class.

  Sara and I bolted back down the hall. The class stayed in uproar and no one came out after us. Haven House was only half a mile away. I had to grab my bike and get there. "Sara," I breathed once we got to the exit doors. "Stay here. I'll get rid of all the lettuce. Stephanie might yell at me but I don't care. I'll tell her it made people sick. I can't believe this happened."

  Sara held the door open for me. "Go," she said. "Let me know if everything's all right there."

  I unlocked my bike and rode as fast as I ever had down the street and away from the school. The parking lot monitor never came and stopped me. I dumped my bike right outside Haven House's garden and bolted inside. I pushed the door open and the sounds of a loud cartoon masked the noise of my entry. I'd have to touch the lettuce to get it out of here but at least I knew the cure if something happened.

  I checked the fridge. All clear. I checked the sink. Same. I didn't even spot any lettuce in the trash. Then I went outside. The remaining heads still sat in the garden and they didn't look picked over. Safety first. I pulled every one out of the ground and tossed them into the compost pile and stomped on them for good measure, grinding the purple leaves into the grossness. I left the bright green ones in the ground, just in case someone needed them. Then I checked the rest of the garden to make sure nothing else had done anything strange.

  To make sure Sara hadn't—

  I had to stop blaming her. I didn't know for certain she'd done this.

  Haven House remained quiet. I didn't think Stephanie had any idea I was out here, wrecking the lettuce we'd all put so much work into. Once satisfied that no one else would fall victim, I sneaked inside again, crept down the hall, and found Mike and Jose sitting there watching a cartoon. I headed to the downstairs bathroom, and I washed my hands right when Stephanie's phone rang down the hall in her office. "Hello?" she asked. "Oh, hi, Tom. What's going on over at the other location?"

  I ducked out while she was talking, letting her conversation mask the door opening and closing.

  Seven little kids would stay safe from the scary lettuce.

  I had to make sure Sara stayed out of the garden, whatever I did.

  And stayed away from the food, period.

  I grabbed my bike and straightened it up. One wheel creaked. I swung my legs onto the bike and made it to the edge of the yard when I noticed.

  Mr. Rain was standing at the corner, watching me.

  He was wearing another white shirt, this one without a tie of any sort. I stopped, staring at him, but he made
no motion he'd seen me and he continued to stare. He was too far for me to ask him what his problem was or why he was out walking around on what might be his conference hour, but even from here I could catch the glare in his eyes. He remained still.

  I'd have to ride past him to get back to school.

  It wasn't something I was looking forward to.

  I waited for Mr. Rain to turn away or at least get out his phone to tell the office I was ducking out of class, but he continued to stare. An itch crept up the back of my neck as if a hundred bugs were crawling on it. I was getting freaked out.

  Nothing was right about this.

  Maybe I was wrong to blame Sara. Maybe the teachers were why Joey and Nort had such a bad day. Mrs. Laney might even be in on it. She'd dealt with the donkey situation a lot calmer than anyone should have.

  I turned my bike, cursing myself for turning away and running. But I took the long way around and rode back to school as fast as I could, leaving Mr. Rain very far behind.

  * * * * *

  Sara was waiting for me when I got back to the school. She hadn't left the entryway, and it was a miracle that the hall lady hadn't found her standing here. My friend was still pale and even a little green.

  "What took you so long?" she asked. "Eric came out to check on us but I told him you had to be sick. I didn't tell him about the lettuce. We want our reputations to stay intact, too."

  I told her about Mr. Rain standing at the corner after I'd disposed of our disaster.

  "What gives?" she asked. "Why would he go stare at Haven House? You should tell Stephanie about him. That's like, creepy. What if he's into little kids?"

  "He was staring at me. Just standing there. And, well, staring."

  "Well," Sara said, swallowing. "It could have to do with the tie thing."

  "Sara, what if he did something to the lettuce?"

  "Mr. Rain wasn't there when the lettuce changed colors. Unless he was hiding."

  "He could have been." I glanced down the empty hall. Class must be about to end and then there would be a stream of students out here. Courtesy of phones, everyone might know about what had happened. "It's not like he doesn't know where we live."