The Arcanum of Beth

by Mary Jane Russell

  “It’s a sin. It’s a defiance of church and God. It will keep her out of heaven. You too.” Keith whispered the last.

  Janet didn’t respond until she eased the car into the next parking lot they came to. “Surely, you can’t believe that. How is your daughter possibly sinning? I’m another story.” She tried to make a joke. “Beth is in love with and loving another human being. Why is that so horrible? Isn’t the love what truly matters?” She turned and faced the other woman.

  “It’s not natural. One man and one woman is the natural order. It’s how all of her family, generations before her, have lived their lives. How can she turn her back on all of them, on how her father and I raised her? This would kill her daddy. It’s illegal in the commonwealth of Virginia. You’re an attorney. How can you practice it?” For different reasons, this was the last straw for both women.

  “Don’t do this, Keith. Should I take you back to your car? I’m not going to Beth and Lou’s like this.” Janet waited.

  “What if she’s making a terrible mistake?” Keith’s face reddened.

  “What if she is?”

  “How does she go back? Her house is sold. People will know. Her colleagues know. What about her reputation?” Keith was honestly beside herself with worry about her youngest child.

  “If she can get herself into this, she can get herself out of it. We’ll drive out and help her pack up again.” Janet smiled at Keith. “Don’t make yourself ill over this. It is what it is. Have you ever been able to make Beth’s decisions for her? Would you really want to?”

  Tears rolled down Keith’s cheeks. “I have to go, but I can’t acknowledge how they’re living. If Beth wants a roommate, if she wants to be back in the country, I can accept that…nothing else.” She took a deep breath and pulled a handkerchief out of her sleeve to wipe her face.

  Janet stared out of the car. “If that’s the best you can do for now, fine. I will not be part of some huge drama. If that’s why you’re going today, I will not be a party to it.”

  “I didn’t want to go by myself, and I haven’t told any of my friends.” It was that simple for Keith. “I don’t want to make trouble for anyone. That will happen soon enough on its own accord. I can’t acknowledge anything but friendship. Can you understand that?”

  Janet nodded as she returned to the highway. “Yes.”

  Keith was silent for only a few moments, it went against her nature. “You mentioned your partner.”

  “Ellen, that’s right.”

  “Yet you were married and had a child. I knew Eddie when he was a tagalong kid.”

  “Really?” Janet had difficulty with that image of the homophobic man she had gone from loving to dreading. She was convinced his anger with her had tainted their daughter during her formative years.

  “When did you…change?”

  Janet chuckled. “I was a little younger than Beth, late twenties, when I realized being married to Edward was not good for any of us. I would have only made him and me miserable, and that would have carried over to Melody.”

  “So you divorced him, gave up your daughter, and took up with this Ellen.”

  “Yes. As much as I regret the estrangement from Melody, I wouldn’t do any of it differently when I look back at it.” She didn’t say that she had not cheated on her husband; she had just decided she didn’t want to be with a man. Ellen had been nothing more than a good friend during all of those changes in her life.

  “Hmm.” Keith pondered this. “Well, I hope this Lou person is neat.”

  Janet glanced at the older woman and waited, knowing there was more to come.

  “Beth can’t stand things not being put back where they came from.”

  They drove the last few miles in silence.

  Janet spoke as they slowed to turn onto the gravel road of the large lot private subdivision. “Here we are.”

  “Thirty-five minutes, not including when we pulled off the road.” Keith stared straight ahead. “Eight miles farther than the homeplace to downtown. I did the odometer numbers in my head.”

  Janet drove slowly so as to disturb as little gravel dust as possible. Of course, she had just washed her car the day before. “Oh, Lord.”

  They slowed before the ruins of an early nineteenth century home at the mailbox reading Stephens. “Surely, that’s not it.” Keith stared forlornly out the window.

  They saw that the house was abandoned and empty as they followed the driveway. They passed two log barns. “Beth said it was on fifteen acres.” Janet mentally crossed her fingers.

  They left the dense stand of trees and emerged in a clearing before a story and a half Cape Cod. “That’s…nice.” Keith sounded surprised.

  Granted, few improvements had been made to the house since original construction in the 1940s, Janet thought, but knew better than to say. She also knew better than to tell Keith that she had just filed the deed in the courthouse in which Lou gave Beth half interest in the property. Her silence had nothing to do with attorney-client confidentiality.

  “Yes, it is.” Janet was relieved. Her CPR training was a little rusty. She pulled in behind the three pickup trucks Ellen and the boys had driven out of town packed full.

  Beth came out of the front door to meet them. “Did you have any trouble finding us?”

  Lou was behind her. She wore overalls with holes and paint stains over an undershirt. Beth wore a crisply ironed oxford shirt and spotless jeans. Andy and Greg were in blue jean cutoffs and tank tops already soaked through with unloading the trucks on a typical June day.

  Keith stepped out of the car and hugged Beth as though it had been years since they’d last seen each other. She forced the smile on her face. “It’s so nice. You must be Lou. I’m always glad to meet Beth’s friends.” She hugged the other woman. “Andrew.” Keith held her arms open and waited.

  “I’m sweaty.”

  “I don’t care. Give an old woman a hug.” Keith beamed at him as he did as asked.

  “I stink, but I feel like such a man, driving a pickup truck.” Greg approached Keith.

  “I’ve smelled much worse.” She embraced Greg as fondly as Andy.

  Janet shook her head. Keith had accepted Greg because she loved Andy like a son. Greg had come along several years after Beth and Andy broke up, so there was no association of blame. She knew Keith would come around to Beth and Lou.

  Keith hugged Lou again.

  Lou looked over Keith’s shoulder to Beth questioningly.

  “Mom?”

  Janet caught Beth’s eye and shook her head. “It was a beautiful drive out. And we have boxes of breakables.” She gestured to the car. The boys groaned.

  Keith took Beth’s hand. “How about a tour? Look at that view of the mountains. You girls have your own little paradise here.”

  Janet frantically shook her head at Lou not to go there.

  “The house is great, Mom, a little smaller than mine. It needs some work, but we’ll get to it. Nothing paint and new appliances can’t take care of and maybe an addition. We’ve already found a contractor. It just needs a little attention.” Beth held onto her mother’s hand.

  “Don’t we all.” Lou winked at Janet as they followed mother and daughter inside and left the unloading of the car to the boys.

  Chapter Seven

  “You’re kidding, right?” Ellen looked at Beth in the rearview mirror as she drove east on Route 460.

  “You can stop saying that any time.” Lou smacked Ellen on the shoulder from the backseat of Janet’s Ford Taurus.

  “I’m not kidding. What can I say? I’ve been deprived. I’ve never been to the ocean.” Beth shrugged.

  “I thought everyone did a beach trip after finishing high school as a rite of passage.” Janet studied the state map. She liked to track their progress and anticipate the next turns. Her reading glasses from the glove compartment had bright pink frames.

  “Well, I didn’t. I’m not a water person. The most water we played in as kids was a creek that came
up to our shins.” Beth stared at the huge frame houses along the main street of the small railroad town.

  Lou chuckled. “Water has nothing to do with going to the beach when you’ve just turned eighteen or twenty-one.”

  Beth looked at her, clearly confused.

  “She means all the bars.” Ellen imitated throwing back a shot. “Some of the kids don’t see the ocean because they drink all night and sleep all day. Personally, I love walking in the sand and looking for shells or glass while watching for dolphins. Usually, all I get wet are my shoe soles if it’s too cold for bare feet,” Ellen said.

  “So what’s the deal with your house?” Lou asked.

  Ellen grinned. “You’ll see. I think it’s funny as hell. My tiny little cottage has weathered the hurricanes with minimal damage over the years. I bought the house thirty years ago as an investment when I was living in free campus housing. Cost me little or nothing. Most people had never heard of North Carolina’s Outer Banks at that time. My parents used to drive down the coast from Norfolk when I was a kid and my dad was stationed in Virginia. We camped on the beach before it was regulated. It’s a three-room house, oceanfront now…six blocks back when I bought it. All around it are these big-ass houses with five or six bedrooms and baths that are leased out for thousands a week in season.”

  “And she just jumps in her ten-year-old Toyota pickup and putters to the beach house when the mood strikes her to fish and walk and make fun of all the rich tourists,” Janet said.

  “Sweet.” Lou nodded.

  “You bet. It’s my ultimate retirement plan. I can sell the lot for hundreds of thousands of dollars any time it suits me and invest the money while some schlemiel builds a million-dollar house and is in debt out the wazoo.”

  “And have a better investment in the long run the way she knows the stock market,” Janet added.

  “Exactly. I figure to hold onto it as long as the cottage is standing, sell after the next big hurricane instead of rebuilding.”

  “I’ve never seen the ocean,” Beth reminded them as she snuggled against Lou.

  “Well, you’ll love it in October, not as crowded and not as hot as in summer. As far as I’m concerned…perfect conditions,” Janet said.

  True to its description, the white frame house was a tiny three-room cottage.

  Janet truly loved the place and enjoyed its simplicity. They all became too carried away with buying houses bigger than needed and acquiring more possessions than used. Stepping into Ellen’s cottage felt as though a huge load had been lifted from her shoulders. Janet knew during their years together the cottage had given Ellen a much needed break and refuge when things were too intense between them, usually because of a complicated case she was engrossed in. Sometimes, and they both admitted this, they just needed a break from each other. There was nothing wrong with acknowledging a need, quite the contrary as far as Janet was concerned.

  From the small front porch with white frame railing, entrance was to one large room that served as living, dining, and kitchen. Off of the kitchen was a bathroom. Straight through from the bathroom was the bedroom Ellen used since it looked out to the ocean. Off of the living room area was the guest bedroom that looked out to the street. A screened porch ran the width of the back of the house and overlooked the beach; high tide during a storm brought waves to the pilings the house rested on.

  Janet stood on the back porch gazing at the ocean. She sighed with contentment.

  Ellen walked up beside her and put her arm around her.

  “It still takes my breath away,” Janet looked out across the Atlantic, “just as you do. I was so lucky to find someone to love who was patient enough to understand my need to be an attorney and the hours that takes even now.”

  Ellen hugged and kissed her. “I knew you were the one. There are a lot of crazy women out there who live for drama and confrontations. I saw you just plugging away, determined to earn a degree and pass the bar while struggling with a bad marriage but dealing with it. You just made up your mind and took it all one step at a time. To think we started as friends because we were the same generation amidst teenagers.” Ellen chuckled. “All the while, I was wondering if there could be more.”

  “Yet you put no pressure on me.”

  Ellen nodded. “That wouldn’t have been fair to you, Edward, or Melody.”

  “I’ll never regret having Melody, but thank goodness girls don’t feel the need to marry right out of high school anymore.”

  “Amen to that.” Ellen looked over her shoulder. “You think they’ll be okay in a small room and sharing a bath with us?”

  “It has a bed, doesn’t it?” Janet rubbed Ellen’s thigh.

  Ellen chuckled. “And I made sure the springs don’t squeak in either room.”

  Janet laughed. “I feel like cooking. Let’s make a run to the fish market and see what was caught today. I love being able to do that. I’ll cook us a nice dinner tonight.”

  Ellen nodded. “I always enjoy that after the long drive. We’ll take the girls to Lucky’s tomorrow night.”

  Lucky’s was the landmark lesbian bar in Nags Head owned by an old friend of Ellen’s who had bought the fishermen’s hangout about the same time Ellen purchased the cottage in Salvo. Delores liked to break the ice with a new customer by asking what her name rhymed with. She was tall and trim and gave the impression of easily being able to vault the bar and kick butt if necessary.

  Of course, Lou shouted, “Clitoris,” in response to the question as Beth turned three shades of red. Lou hopped on the bar stool and gave Delores a kiss full on the lips. She was rewarded with a free shot for her and Beth. “Now this is my kind of place. I was afraid this was going to be one of those yawner vacations.” Lou looked about the dimly lit bar, full of twenty-somethings dancing, drinking, and shooting pool. She was clearly in her element.

  Beth elbowed Lou before speaking. “Tonight is on us, for inviting us to stay at your cottage to celebrate our contractor finally finishing his part of the remodel and addition.”

  As a retiree, Ellen was quick to say, “Thank you. Fair enough. You needed a break before all the painting and unpacking.”

  Janet and Ellen sat side by side in a booth and watched the women at the pool tables. Lou was already on her next round. Beth whispered in Lou’s ear, was given a kiss, and joined Janet and Ellen, refusing a dance as she crossed the open floor.

  “She’s a character.” Janet looked at Lou as she nursed a beer. “Why does this taste so much better here on tap than out of bottles at home?”

  “It’s the ocean and the company.” Ellen said.

  “And the lack of work.” Beth raised her glass in a toast, then sipped carefully. “I’m learning to enjoy time away from the office. I don’t always have to be doing half-again as much work as everyone else to prove myself.”

  Ellen raised her mug. She caught Delores’s eye and raised three fingers and pointed to the beer. She looked at Beth. “Take my advice and get off the hard stuff so you can go for a walk with us in the morning instead of hugging the toilet bowl.”

  Janet nodded. “We have a ritual of drinking coffee outside as we walk along the beach to see the sun rise over the horizon.”

  Beth smiled. “I’d love to if it’s not intruding on something special between you two.” She left her first shot half drunk on the table.

  Janet sighed and glanced about the packed room. “Nowadays, we’re always the oldest couple here, but coming to Lucky’s is part of our beach ritual just like the morning walk.” She grinned. “I like the energy even if I don’t have it anymore. I enjoy watching the girls, vicarious as it may be.”

  “You have energy when it counts, honey,” Ellen said. She nodded toward the open floor. “Look at her.”

  They all turned and watched Lou coax a young blonde out on the dance floor. Lou danced as she did everything else, no holds barred.

  Janet studied Lou’s behavior. “That doesn’t bother you?”

  The expression on Beth’s
face was bittersweet. “That’s part of Lou. She’s going to flirt with every woman she encounters. I’ve talked to her about it. She assures me it’s all harmless.”

  “Is the honeymoon over?” Janet asked.

  Beth looked at them and nodded. “But the marriage is just beginning.”

  Chapter Eight

  “Well, I guess I should be grateful to be alive and here while you all are doing this.” Keith stood in the middle of her dining room, hands on hips, while looking at the crystal, china, and glassware pulled out of the sideboard and divvied up on the dining room table for each to take home.

  “It could be worse. We could be getting ready for a yard sale.” Patti eyed the stacks of antique dessert plates going to Beth.

  Beth motioned Janet into the kitchen and lowered her voice. “Patti is pissed because we’re stepping on her stilettoed toes.”

  Janet raised her eyebrows.

  “Breaking up households of the elderly is how she makes her money. She befriends someone having to downsize their life, pays them a pittance for the belongings they no longer have room for, and sells it all to dealers or on eBay. She makes a huge profit with no more overhead than temporary storage. She uses the cleaning guys from Will’s firm as movers. My guess is she doesn’t report a third of her income. The people she cheats think she is sweet to help them.” Beth rolled her eyes.

  Janet began a question. “How—”

  “I checked her out with a fellow accountant in Knoxville. Don’t belittle my nerd grapevine.” Beth stared at her sister-in-law. “She thought she and Will were going to swoop in here and do that to my mother.” Beth shook off her anger. “Be-ach.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll stay close to Keith.” She squeezed Beth’s arm and left the kitchen. “Keith, here, please sit down. You’re making me tired.” Janet pulled a chair out from the dining room table and motioned Keith toward it.