The Arcanum of Beth

by Mary Jane Russell

  “Our good friend, Janet Evans, attorney extraordinaire.” Lou looked from Will to Patti.

  “My best friend.” Beth held her arms out to Janet and waited for the woman to come to her.

  “Why don’t you sit down, sweetie?”

  “I found an extra chair and put it at the head of the bed for her. She refuses to leave Mom’s side.” Will tried to put his arm around Patti. Patti’s eyes stayed on Lou as she pushed him away.

  Beth shook her head. “I’ve sat around this hospital for days, following Mom around through testing and unit changes until I ache. Standing feels better.”

  “Walk with me.” Janet tried to gently pull her away from the bed.

  “Will’s right. I’m afraid to leave her.”

  “We’re here.” Will stared at his sister.

  Beth shook her head.

  “Well, we’ll walk around so the room isn’t so crowded.” Patti left the arm of the chair and grabbed Lou’s sleeve.

  Will watched them leave. “Beth, you must stop thinking that you’re the only one who cares about Mom.” He paused, watching the two men who approached the room.

  Beth followed her brother’s stare. Her face brightened. “You guys.” She almost smiled as she crossed the distance to meet Andy and Greg.

  Janet had a quick flashback of the two men in sequined dresses, wigs, and feather boas at Beth’s first Halloween party—Will’s last encounter with them. Both men were sandy-haired and dressed this time in pressed jeans and crisp polo shirts. They were engineers who worked in a business casual office necessitated by the hours they spent on construction sites.

  “We’ve been so worried about you.” Andy leaned down to hug Beth. He was four inches taller than Greg and almost six inches taller than Beth.

  “We kept calling your office to find out where you were. Amber is a piece of work, by the way. I thought I was going to have to leave my passport with her just to find out which hospital.” Greg pushed Andy aside to embrace Beth. “Your faithful companion won’t call us back.”

  Janet placed a hand on either man. “Just check with me next time. I keep as close tabs on her as she will let anyone. I swear I’m better about taking my earring off and listening for the message beep.” The men giggled. “Just where have you been, Junior?” She hugged her nephew a second time.

  “Andrew has been needy and controlling lately.”

  “You wish.” Andy pulled Greg against him.

  As Will watched the two men, his face became tighter, eyes narrower.

  Beth stared toward the corner of the room, watching her brother. “You remember my old high school boyfriend, Andy Reynolds. Will, you’ve not met his partner, Greg Davis. You and Patti avoided them at my Halloween party.” She caught her friends’ eyes. “My brother, Will.”

  They turned to him. Andy extended his hand as he closed the distance to the corner but stopped himself as he saw that Will was neither going to stand nor uncross his arms. They spoke as Will nodded in their direction.

  “Ouch,” Greg muttered behind his hand to Janet.

  “Do you need anything at all, sweetie?” Andy took Beth’s hand in his. “From the office, from home? Pets okay?”

  “Everything’s fine. Lou is back and forth at home while I stay here with Keith. I call in at the office once a day. The others are covering my clients. Thank goodness it’s not tax season.” Beth stretched.

  “You sit right down. I can at least get the knots out of your shoulders. I know how you are.” Greg motioned to the chair.

  “Showoff. You just enjoy the one opportunity you have to make a woman scream.” Beth did as told.

  “I heard that.” Greg laughed as Beth grunted.

  “Will, are you okay, need a cup of coffee or a soda?” Andy kept his distance from the other man.

  “No, thank you. I don’t need anything from you.” Will caught himself. “I don’t need anything. We just came back from lunch.”

  “And I’m guessing she didn’t go with you.” Greg squeezed Beth’s neck.

  “No, ouch, I didn’t.” Beth tried to pull away from him.

  “Well, that settles it. We know your favorites. We’ll be back shortly with food. You need to eat. Janet, how about you?” Andy moved toward the door.

  “I’m good. Munched on the way, didn’t think to bring her something, damn it.”

  “Don’t even try to talk us out of it.” Greg patted Beth’s shoulders. “We’ll be right back, sweetie.” They nodded and left the room.

  Janet sat in the chair as Beth stood and flexed her shoulders.

  “That hurts so good. I love those guys…what good friends. You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Will. When did you become so narrow-minded?” Beth frowned at him.

  “We’re not having that discussion here or now.” Will would not look her in the eye. “Other things are more important.”

  Beth sighed and motioned Janet to follow her to the far side of the room from the bed. Beth turned her back to Keith. “Mom’s kidneys have failed. Her liver is losing function. At least one heart valve is leaking and filling her lungs with fluid. She’s miserable. The doctors are talking to us about another operation.”

  “And I’m for it.” Will leaned forward in the chair and whispered.

  “Ruth caught me in the hall early this morning and told me I could request the removal of the ventilator and addition of a morphine pump to the IV line. I swear if it weren’t for the nurses, I wouldn’t know what the hell is going on with Mom. Ruth Dunn is the best she’s had.” Beth glanced over her shoulder as a tech entered the room to check vitals. “Ruth’s advice makes the most sense to me. I’ve already requested no resuscitation.”

  “We can’t facilitate her passing.” Will joined them.

  “Janet, I want you to be a witness.” Beth cleared her throat as she returned to the bedside. “Mom, can you hear me?”

  Keith nodded slightly.

  “Do you want another operation?”

  Keith tried to focus her eyes on Beth.

  “It may help you to be more comfortable.” Will spoke louder than was needed.

  Keith’s head moved enough to look at her son.

  “It won’t make you any better, Mom. It will make you stay like this longer.” Beth gently took her mother’s hand in her own.

  Keith’s eyes closed.

  “I’m not agreeing to anything until she gives us some direction.” Will returned to the overstuffed chair. “I don’t care what piece of paper you have that she signed.”

  Beth looked at Janet. “Remember what Mom said so often because of the way my father died? You weren’t around to hear it, Will.”

  Janet nodded.

  “I don’t want to outlive my usefulness.” Beth looked away from her mother. “I can’t stay here right now.”

  Janet took Beth by the arm and led her out of the room and along the hallway. “How long have they been here?”

  “Since the weekend. They’re at the house with Lou. I want Will here.” Beth hesitated. “What is Patti turning my brother into? There was a time when he would have hung out with Andy and Greg. He only tolerates Lou because of me. Hell, he barely tolerates me. I just save him from being responsible for the farm and Mom.”

  “Well, at least Lou doesn’t seem to mind keeping her entertained.”

  “They’re like two teenagers getting on my every last nerve. I feel like Mom used to with Will and me.” Beth stopped and leaned against the wall. “Oh, Lord, Janet, we need to let her go, don’t we?”

  Janet nodded. “I’m afraid so.”

  “I’ll make the decision if Keith can’t. Hell with Will, he’s been no part of either of our parents’ illnesses. I can love him and not particularly like him.” Beth took a deep breath and stood up straight. She walked back toward the unit.

  “I see someone who needs a decent coffee.” Lou caught up to Beth and handed her a cup topped with foam.

  “I have a milkshake for Will. What a sweet tooth that man has yet doesn’t gain weight
.” Patti held up the tall glass.

  “Our two little peas in a pod,” Lou did her imitation of Keith. “Have you ever seen a brother and sister more alike?” She fell in step with Janet. “Responsible, dependable, focused, and calm even when something like this is going on. They don’t need anyone but themselves to reason through it all.”

  “Watch when I hand him this. He’ll thank me and tell me I shouldn’t have gone to any trouble.” Patti laughed.

  Beth sipped the coffee in silence. She wouldn’t meet Janet’s eyes.

  Patti entered the room. Will reacted exactly as predicted.

  Even Beth chuckled at her brother and at herself. “Okay, you have us pegged. If you wanted excitement, you chose the wrong partners.” She punched her brother.

  “What?” He looked completely confused.

  This made the women laugh more.

  “This has made me realize how truly important family is.” Patti nodded as she handed Will a napkin.

  “We’ve talked it over and decided to move back to Virginia. We really like the area just west of you guys and love the houses on the lake lots. We explored a little as we drove through. Patti’s parents would only be thirty minutes away.” Will dabbed at the chocolate on his tie.

  “You’re kidding.” Beth looked first at Will, then Patti. She stared at her mother and lowered her voice. “Why in the hell didn’t you move back when she could have enjoyed it? You’re only doing it because of Patti’s parents,” she whispered.

  “Fantastic.” Lou hugged Patti, then Will. “Shouldn’t show favoritism.”

  “Family is what matters. You’re right, I should have done it sooner for her sake. I tried.” Will spoke only to his sister.

  “It’s always about her, isn’t it?” Beth sighed. “It’s okay, Will, I would like you back in my life.” She hugged him.

  “Beth.” Janet inclined her head in Keith’s direction.

  Beth returned to her mother’s side. Keith moved her hand with effort and reached for the ventilator. Beth caught her mother’s hand.

  “What is it, Mom?” Beth leaned down closer to her mother.

  Keith shook her head slowly and touched the tubing going to her mouth.

  “Take this off?”

  Keith nodded slightly.

  “You don’t want surgery?”

  Keith shook her head.

  “You do want control of the morphine?”

  Keith nodded again. Tears ran from the corners of her eyes.

  “I love you, Mom.” Beth hugged her as best she was able. “I’m so proud of you for making this decision. It’s the right thing to do. I haven’t forgotten my promise to you about Will.” Her voice faltered as she whispered the last.

  Janet guided Lou and Patti out of the room. “Give them time alone with their mother.”

  Lou nodded.

  “He’s going to take it hard.”

  “So is she.” Lou looked at Janet.

  “They’re both going to need you two now.” Janet hoped that the women heard and understood her.

  Chapter Eleven

  Beth stared at the portrait of her mother, then glanced over her shoulder at Janet. “This has always been my favorite.”

  Janet nodded. She stayed close to Beth in case she was as weak as she appeared. Janet insisted on driving her friend to the funeral home. Ellen would come later to manage the register at the front door. It would be her first time wearing slacks and jacket since her retirement, which spoke volumes for her respect of Beth and Keith.

  “Mom had not turned twenty-one yet. It was just after Daddy proposed. Look at how pretty her hair was, such a beautiful chestnut brown. I love the way she wore the clips to pull it back from her face. Look at those eyes, what a beautiful blue.”

  Janet smiled fondly. “I like the way she’s looking to the side so that it’s not quite a profile shot but you have a better sense of her face and how she really looked. And that expression…not quite a smile, but you can feel the happiness and joy in her.”

  Beth nodded. She looked at the other portrait on the second easel. “Church photograph taken a year ago. Lord, look at the change. I didn’t realize how hard her illness had been on her. You don’t see it when you live with someone day in and day out.”

  “That’s true for all of us.”

  “Mom was sixty-four in this. She looks a little confused. Look at that complexion, though. She had the best skin of anyone I’ve ever known.”

  Beth took a deep breath and made her feet take the steps that brought her before the open coffin. She forced herself to look down at her mother. “She looks empty. She really isn’t there anymore.”

  Keith Candler wore her favorite purple gingham church dress with the beads she had strung to go with it. On her left hand were her wedding and engagement rings on her third finger and Luke’s wedding ring on her middle finger.

  “I never knew about the promise she and Daddy had made that the one left behind would wear the other’s ring, then keep them both on at their time. I don’t know where that came from, but Mom insisted it was my father’s idea.” Beth allowed the tears to trickle down her face. She reached in and touched her mother’s hand. “I love you, Mom. Tell Daddy I miss him.”

  Beth turned slightly and nodded to the man waiting patiently just outside the room. “It’s okay to close it now.” She stepped back and watched the lid as it was brought slowly down. “Will doesn’t want to see her.”

  Janet stepped beside Beth and put her arm around her. Beth leaned against the woman and coughed.

  “Can you believe I picked up a bronchial infection being in the room with Mom when she first tried to come off the ventilator?” Beth shook her head and coughed again. “I feel like crap.”

  “Well, you look even worse. Come over here and sit before you collapse. The choices for lying down around here are not the best.”

  Beth chuckled. She did as told, a sure sign that she was sick. Her cell phone vibrated. She flipped the phone open.

  “Hey, Will.” She listened.

  “Yes, it’s closed now. Everything is ready for tonight…No, I’m just going to sit here with her until the others start coming in…Because I don’t want to be anywhere else…Janet…Stop it, Will. I’m not listening to you about this.” She snapped the phone shut, ending the call.

  Beth looked at Janet. “Don’t you just love hearing one side of a conversation?” She cautiously took a deep breath, trying not to set off another bout of coughing. “They’re going to dinner and will try to be here when the visitation starts.” She closed her eyes and concentrated on calming down. “I don’t like Will, Patti, or Lou very much at this point. Reminds me of when Mom would tell Will and me that she was going to line us up and knock our heads together. We knew we’d gotten on her last nerve and to tread lightly for a while.” Beth chuckled tiredly.

  Janet slid a chair close to her. “You’re exhausted. No wonder everything anyone says or does is trying your patience. Give it time. Just concentrate on one thing at a time and get through tonight. The rest will settle down and return to some normalcy in a few weeks.”

  “I know.” Beth nodded in agreement. “You know I don’t mean this the wrong way, but would you leave me alone for a few minutes? I want her just to myself one last time.”

  “I understand. Open the door when you want anyone else in here, or call me.” Janet patted the cell phone in her pocket. She left the room and shook her head at the funeral director lingering in the hallway. “Don’t bother her, please.”

  He bobbed his head and went through the door to the back of the building.

  Janet stood in the wide front hall of the house—double doors opened into viewing rooms in the four corners of the building with a closed door to the back offices. It had been a rambling farmhouse until ten years before when taken over and remodeled for funeral home use. She glanced out the front door sidelights at the adjoining pastureland. It made sense to have a funeral home in the country to save the long drive into the closest city. Th
ey did a steady business supplemented by farming, Beth had explained to her. Of course, Beth kept their books.

  Janet sat in the overstuffed chair and leaned her head back. They could all use a little rest. Keith had passed two days before. Arrangements had already been made according to Keith’s own choices. That night was the visitation before the interment the next day. It would be a very long evening.

  Janet looked up in time to whistle softly as Ellen entered the building. Her hair was smoothed into a respectable pixie, black pants suit and shirt were immaculate, and lips showed just a hint of gloss. Janet was so used to seeing Ellen in baggy shorts and shirts she was taken aback to see how attractive she looked. “You cleaned up nice, sweetie. Thank you.”

  Ellen’s eyes filled. “She was a classy woman and her daughter takes after her.” She went to the lectern and placed her Montblanc pen on the guest book. “Only the best.”

  The four viewing rooms in the funeral home filled quickly. As each room became crowded with the growing line waiting to see the family, the noise level rose. It was hard not to visit with one another as the line slowly advanced to the family.

  Lou looked behind Beth and across the length of the coffin at Patti. She silently formed the word, “Moo.”

  Patti allowed a fleeting smile.

  Will and Beth flanked the coffin—Will and Patti to the left, Beth and Lou to the right—in an attempt to spread the family out and keep the line moving. Janet worked the room, keeping people moving and an eye on the family.

  Janet frowned at Lou, then Patti. Both women ignored her.

  Everyone stopped to hug Beth and tell her a favorite story of her parents. Beth had found a reserve of strength none of them knew she possessed. She smiled at each person, remembered their name and that of their significant family members, angled her head as she listened intently to each reminisce, and hugged the teller to make him or her feel better.

  Janet watched her proudly. She’d never seen anyone any more gracious. She had to agree with Beth about lining the others up and knocking their heads together.