The Arcanum of Beth

by Mary Jane Russell

  Am I losing it? Do you see any of this when you’re around them? I’ve tried talking individually with each one of them, and it only makes me doubt my own sanity. I even went to the company’s referral psych service. They told me I seemed to be processing all of this reasonably. What the hell does that mean? You know I don’t expect an answer from you on any of this. Just venting and leaving this behind in case I have gone over the deep end.

  Why couldn’t you and I have been right for each other, not that I would want to hurt Greg? God, I’m as bad as them thinking about someone else’s partner. Love you, mean it. B.

  Janet stared at the screen as she sent the message to the printer. Ellen yelled along with the crowd noise of the baseball game. Janet felt like joining in with a scream that no one would take notice of.

  She picked up the list of bequests. Her eyes filled with tears at the sight of the neat block letters that she had always teased Beth must come from a human typewriter. “Okay, just do this. Stop being a wimp. Find out what was important to Beth.” Janet felt her eyebrows rise as she read the handwritten document. “What in the hell? No friggin’ way.”

  There was a neat list of bank account numbers, some from accounts her parents had set up when she was a child, some recent. Beth had established two trust funds—one for Will, in his name only, and one for their cousin in North Carolina. Lou was to receive a list of household items that she had paid part of the cost of, the rest of their furnishings, including the furniture Beth had restored, was to be sold with proceeds to the trust funds.

  Janet read aloud. “As for you, dear friend, use the funds in this joint account as needed. You will know. If there’s anything left, grab the old poop at home and take one of the golf trips you two have threatened to treat yourselves to for as long as I’ve known you. But be sure to cover the expenses I cause you, there should be enough. You know I love you as though I came from two mothers.”

  It was as though Janet felt the break in her heart widen.

  Chapter Twenty

  Ellen glanced about the cottage. She still couldn’t believe that she had allowed Janet to talk her into taking a break from all that was going on at home. She loved Janet dearly, and she loved her time at the cottage. Janet knew and understood that; that was the true beauty of their long relationship.

  By coming to Salvo on a Monday, Ellen could have a good rest, catch up with her friends along the Outer Banks, and be home by the weekend when Janet would really need her. It seemed the best of all worlds.

  She went to the new Food Lion in Nags Head to stock the pantry, so to speak, and stayed in for the evening. On Tuesday morning, Ellen did the ritual sunrise walk, missing Janet, then napped that afternoon. By Tuesday night, she was ready for someone else’s company other than her own.

  Ellen found a parking space close to the door of the bar. She always loved coming to Lucky’s. It hadn’t changed any from the outside since she had lived at the beach—weathered clapboard with remnants of white paint deep in the exposed grains and a tin roof painted a bright red with LUCKY’S stenciled in bold black letters. What had started forty years ago as a place for fishermen to have an early breakfast was now a trendy nightspot. As Ellen walked in, she chuckled to herself about the fishermen who had been displaced by lesbians with a higher disposable income. The interior was dark paneling, dim lights, two pool tables, and an open area to dance, with the walls lined with booths for observers. Food was basic, mostly fried, and definitely Southern.

  Delores looked up and waved when Ellen sat down at the end of the bar. “What does my name rhyme with?”

  “Thesaurus.” Ellen pointed at the Bass tap.

  Delores chuckled as she filled the glass. “You’re the only one who ever says that.” She kept her colored brown hair short in a shingle cut with bangs. Janet and Ellen teased her that she looked like a women’s basketball coach. She definitely had the height and conditioning to play.

  Ellen looked around. “I’m probably the only one here who remembers using one. Since when did the crowd become so young?”

  “Since these girls are able to get the high-paying jobs out of college that we paved the way for. Since most of the women our age are too tired or too broke to sit around in a bar.” Delores worked her way up with the state of Virginia’s Department of Housing and Community Development. She had put her savings into buying the bar that she hired others to work during the week until she turned fifty-two and became eligible for early retirement. Five years before, she gave new definition to “take the money and run” by retiring and severing all ties with Virginia, including her partner. She had answered all questions by simply saying she was ready for a fresh start. “These girls walk in to the jobs we worked our asses off to have the last few years we worked to bump our pension. And you know what I say?”

  Ellen raised her glass in anticipation.

  “Damn right. Good for them.” Delores tapped her bottle of water against Ellen’s beer. “The first one is on me as usual, Toots.”

  “And you’re the only one who calls me that.”

  “I know. You’d think I could make Janet a little bit jealous by using an endearment. How is our favorite attorney?” Delores watched her two waitresses and continuously poured or mixed drinks as she talked with Ellen.

  Ellen hesitated.

  “Uh-oh.”

  “She and I are fine. It’s her friend, Beth. We brought her here over a year ago, mid-thirties, brunette, sweet personality.”

  Delores nodded. “I remember. That relationship didn’t last long for her. Lou was all over me the first time she came here and brought a lipstick blonde in a few months ago.”

  Ellen stopped drinking and stared at Delores.

  “I don’t forget faces or dates, Toots. I remember the first time Lou came in very distinctly. She sat at the bar and flirted with me and everyone else who came in while you and Janet sat with Beth in a booth. That was October just over a year-and-a-half ago. Then October eight months ago, Lou rolled in here with the lipstick blonde.”

  “Patti.”

  “That’s right. I wasn’t young, cute, or rich enough for her to pay attention to, so I returned the favor…bitch.” Delores concentrated on the mix of liquor and liqueur. “I’m sorry. I went off on a tangent. What about Janet’s friend, Beth?”

  “She died in an accident a little over a month ago.”

  Delores let go of the tap and stared. “No shit?”

  “Serious as a heart attack.”

  Delores drank the half glass of beer herself, then pulled another and slid it to the opposite end of the bar from Ellen. “That’s a damn shame. I thought about her after Lou was here with blondie. Why is it the decent sisters are treated like crap in a relationship?”

  “That’s the very reason I appreciate Janet so much. I know how lucky…no pun intended…I am.”

  “You know the rule. Dollar in the tip jar every time you get lucky at Lucky’s.”

  Ellen smiled and dropped four quarters in the Mason jar. “So tell me about Lou and Patti last October.”

  Delores nodded. “They rolled in here about ten o’clock and appeared to have already had drinks with dinner. The booths were full, so they sat at the bar while they waited for one to clear out. I was back and forth, but I have good hearing and the longer they sat, the louder they talked. For a start, they were laughing their asses off about sneaking off while the rest of you slept. They were in here every night until last call. They giggled about how it reminded them of being in high school and staying out all night, each saying they fell asleep at the other’s house, then partying all night.”

  Ellen handed over her empty glass for a refill.

  “The worst part…and usually I don’t pay any attention to this…was that they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. You’re telling me that Lou was still with Beth then?”

  “It gets worse. Patti’s married to Beth’s brother.”

  “Jesus F’ing Christ.”

  “Why would anyone do that
to Beth?” Ellen reached for the bowl of boiled peanuts.

  “That’s simple enough to figure out from the first time I met Lou. The conquest of Beth was over. She was reeled in. Lou was ready to move on to the next. Only I think she met her match in blondie.”

  “How so?”

  Delores frowned as if double-checking her memory before she spoke. “The husband called while they were here that last night. Blondie actually choked as she tried not to laugh while imitating him and telling Lou what he said. He told her his sister knew everything and that blondie was going to have to choose between him and Lou. He’d already told his sister that blondie would not leave him, which they thought was hilarious. They settled down after that. I heard bits and pieces after they moved to a booth, had to be at the end of the bar closest to where they sat. What can I say, it was sort of like looking at a car wreck when you pass, wanting to look away but not being able to take your eyes off it.”

  Ellen nodded.

  “They decided to apologize profusely…that was blondie’s word. Make like they weren’t making it anymore. They didn’t want to pay for ditching spouses. And my personal favorite, it would make their love all the more special if they had to hide what they were doing.”

  Ellen covered her face with her hands. “Talk about burden of knowledge.”

  “What?”

  “This is exactly what Janet needs to know, but how in the hell do I tell her?” Ellen thought it over. “Are you willing to jot down as much as you can remember about those nights last October, sign your statement in front of a notary, and mail it to me?”

  Delores didn’t hesitate. “Hell, yes. I’ll even come back to Virginia if you guys need me to.”

  Ellen paid for her drinks and leaned over the bar and gave Delores a kiss on the cheek. “Janet won’t mind this once.”

  “Because it’s between friends, Toots. I joke around, but I don’t fool around. I’ve been burned too many times myself.” Delores was deep in her own thoughts. “Those women were crazy with the affair they were carrying on. They shouldn’t have thought all of that shit, much less said it in public. It’s as though they had a sense of entitlement about being with each other. That and all the alcohol, or whatever else they’d been ingesting.”

  Neither of them noticed that their conversation was very carefully eavesdropped upon. Addie had a knack for listening. She also had a tremendous respect for Delores and decided to wait for the right time to talk to her boss in private.

  “Amen to that,” she said as she picked up her drink order. “We have to look out for each other because no one else will.” At twenty-two, Addie had already seen and heard enough drama to keep the curls in her blond hair tight.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  “Good God. They can’t seriously think I’m going to wear something like this, much less buy it. It would make me look like a fifty-something woman wearing maternity clothes. Talk about lipstick on a pig.” Janet held up what used to be called a peasant blouse made from a thin, gauzy material. “I’d look like I ought to be out on the beach providing shade for someone. Plus, what’s the sense of buying something you have to wear something else under? Just wear what you’d have on under it.” She quickly hung the top back on the rack.

  “Are you done, Ms. Bitch and Moan? It’s all about layering, sweetie. It’s the thing this summer. You have to look flouncy. Not that it would look any better on me than on you, but they might buy the pregnancy thing. Think it would help me get a better seat at the movies? Come on, we need to at least try it on so we can say we did.” Gloria Jarrett held the top against her. She was twenty-two years younger than Janet, had neither married nor borne children, and was about the same size as her friend. That was the beauty of their shopping together—they looked at the same size clothes and Gloria kept Janet from buying everything stodgy. She had almost talked Janet into a tattoo the last time they traveled north on Interstate 81 to shop. Gloria practiced law in Stanton, Janet in Roanoke. They enjoyed the retail that flocked around the university in Harrisonburg, even if they felt a bit of a traitor, and no one stopped either of them to talk about ongoing cases.

  “You go first. I’m going to keep looking. Maybe I can find a compromise between blue-hair matron and hormonal teenager.” Janet meandered through the store.

  “Need any help, ma’am?” The salesgirl was just that, a girl in college, from the looks of her.

  Janet glanced at her as she said, “I didn’t wear these when they were popular the first time.” She returned to the gauzy tops.

  “I know, that’s what my grandmother says every time she meets me for lunch. She finally pulled one of her old blouses out of the attic, and I wore it in here one day. Everyone wanted to know which rack it came off of. Gram thought that was hilarious, then listed it on eBay. She’s now cleaning out the storage boxes in her attic. We do have something that might suit you better in the back of the store. That’s where she usually buys her things and says they’re so comfortable and easy to get spots out of.” The girl pointed to a rack of plain cut suit separates in bland colors.

  Gloria, standing slightly behind Janet, had listened to most of the salesgirl’s comments and was doing her best not to burst out laughing. “Serves you right.”

  “Giggle and I’ll leave you here to find a ride home on your own. I mean it.” She snatched the top from Gloria and marched into the fitting room to try it on. She returned in a few minutes. “Looks fine. I’ll buy the damn thing. Let’s get the hell out of here.”

  Gloria snorted. “I haven’t done that since the last time we were at a bar function together. What is it about you that makes me behave like a twelve-year-old?” She laughed uncontrollably as Janet looked at her and crossed her eyes. “That’s quite all right about the top. You take it. It didn’t hang right on me.” She gave Janet a quick hug. “Make nice with the girl as she checks you out. She didn’t mean anything by it. Most people don’t think enough about what they say to come up with a really good insult.”

  Janet did as asked. She let out a deep sigh as they joined the crowd in the mall’s common area. “I can’t believe we spend hours on the road just to shop.” She linked arms with Gloria.

  “Oh, I can. When else do we get a break from all those social service cases that make us want to have a lobotomy?”

  “Or drink too much.”

  “That no one else understands why we put ourselves in the middle of.”

  “Ellen saw some of it with the men who worked for her at the college. She’s helped me on a few cases when I had to check out family situations and knew not to go alone. Still…”

  “It makes us do what we do.”

  “What about your roommate?”

  “He’s still pushing for marriage. I’m still dodging a commitment. We’ll see how long we both tolerate the situation. I don’t think either of us is going to change. I can always get another dog.”

  “Based on my marriage, get a dog and a cat and call it even.”

  The women burst out laughing and slowed before the next chain restaurant.

  “I think my blood sugar is low. I know my eyes are blurry. Let’s grab a bite, or if nothing else, sit down for a bit.”

  Gloria nodded. “I’m starving. I skipped breakfast to be ready on time.”

  “Dope. Why didn’t you say something earlier? I don’t want you passing out on me.” Janet led her into the restaurant and to a table in the very back corner. “I want to be able to talk without looking over my shoulder.”

  “Oh, yeah. Who about?’’ Gloria laughed and watched the humor fade from Janet’s face. “So how are things really going?” She stirred the sweetener into her iced tea and watched her friend.

  Janet sighed. “Okay.” She glanced away for a moment. “I’ll say it. I miss Beth, and I feel so damn guilty.” It was that simple.

  “I’m so sorry that I couldn’t reschedule my court appearance the day of her funeral. It was a no-brainer case that I couldn’t keep my mind on for thinking of all of you. I want
ed to be there for Beth, and I feel badly that I wasn’t.”

  Gloria took in and released a deep breath to hold off tears. Beth had been Gloria’s assigned mentor when Gloria was a college freshman. Beth had actually enjoyed looking out for Gloria, and they’d become close friends. Beth helped Gloria decide on law school. Janet had taken Gloria under her wing when she passed the bar and practiced in Roanoke her first years. They often talked about the quirk of fate that made the three of them friends. “Any progress with the sheriff’s investigation of what happened with the tractor?”

  “Ongoing. I don’t know what’s taking them so long. Well, I do, too. They’re enormously understaffed for the population they serve. She wasn’t famous and most people try to ignore her lifestyle. Beth’s accident is fairly routine, I guess, with no one really pushing them to conclude their report. I had no idea how many adults and children are victims of farm accidents until this happened. You know me, I had to research the stats. Still…”

  “Accident?” Gloria’s face said otherwise.

  Janet stopped as she was reaching for her glass. “Yes, accident, what else?”

  Gloria took a long swallow of tea. She shook her head. “Nothing.”

  “Don’t say nothing. I see wheels turning. What are you keeping to yourself?” Janet watched her closely.

  Gloria deliberated and chose her next words as carefully as a summary before a jury trial. “Janet, not yet. I can’t say anything yet.” She stressed her last word.

  Janet frowned. She stared past her friend at the dead corner of the room. She trusted Gloria completely. The beauty of their friendship was that they watched each other’s back and gave each other a heads-up when appropriate, and in such a manner as not to compromise either of their scruples. “I don’t like it, but I’ll let it drop for now. You owe me an explanation later.” She leaned across the table. “I have to confess that I said accident to test your reaction.”