But that’s just the start of what Frankie’s House is going to offer the troubled kids of Brooklyn and Staten Island. Sophie has worked tirelessly over the last few months to create programs for the teens. She’s called out to the community and has summoned everyone we know, demanding their support.
Blackie spearheaded a program for drug abuse and even brought in his former drug counselor, Sunny, to lead his crusade. Maria was in charge of a support system created for pregnant teens, and with Carrie and Lauren’s help, they started a scholarship program for teenage girls to continue their education.
Anthony and Riggs got involved too and soon, Enzo and I found ourselves adding a gymnasium to the building, complete with a boxing ring and all. Anthony owned a gym of his own and planned to bring his own people into Frankie’s House to teach the kids the art of boxing.
The biggest surprise, though, was Uncle Jack’s desire to help. He and Lacey wanted to bring awareness to mental illness and before we knew it Frankie’s House had a program dedicated to serving the children who struggled with their mind too.
All the broken toys now have a place to land.
A home to call their own.
A table to congregate around with people who share in their struggles.
But most of all, these kids have the support of the Scotto’s.
And that’s just as good as saying they’re property of Parrish.
Just as meaningful.
The doors to Frankie’s House opened a week ago, but today is the day we officially cut the ribbon.
“Well, there’s a sight you don’t see every day,” Enzo quips, tipping his chin towards our dad who is shaking hands with the borough president. His eyes find ours and he crooks a finger, commanding us to join him.
“Fuck,” Enzo mutters. “Do we gotta go up there?”
“Yes,” I say, giving him a shove in the right direction.
“Carrie, you too,” Dad calls out and my gaze wanders to the green-eyed beauty standing across the lot.
She’s grown a lot in the last year.
As a mother and as a woman.
She’s still mouthy as ever, though.
And those eyes…they still burn and ache for what’s missing.
Truth be told, so do mine.
She smiles at me as we reach my dad, and surprisingly, I return the gesture. The borough president hands my dad the scissors, but he doesn’t cut the ribbon. He glances over his shoulder, his gaze lingering on the three of us before a small smile ticks his lips.
Then the sweetest sound ever distracts us all.
“Pop Pop!”
We all turn as Anna releases Sophie’s hand and runs straight towards my father. He hands me the scissor and crouches down with his arms wide open, catching our little Anna Banana and lifting her high in his arms.
Squeezing her in his strong embrace, he drags his eyes to mine.
“Go ahead, son.”
I glance at Enzo, silently offering him the scissors, but he shakes his head and takes a step behind me. Then his eyes shoot to Carrie’s and so do mine.
Burning.
Aching.
Begging.
“Come on, Green Eyes,” I rasp.
She looks at me with uncertainty flaring in those hypnotic eyes of hers, and I nod my head. Then, her hand closes over mine and together, we bring the blades of the scissor to the red ribbon and cut through it. Applause erupts around us, but my eyes remain on our joined hands.
My father touches my shoulder and leans into my ear, whispering, “You paid your penance, Nico.”
Have I?
At his words, my fingers tighten around Carrie’s.
It’s that force that just won’t surrender.
“We get one life,” he continues. “Make it count.”
-Thirty-two-
Carrie
“Mama! Mama!”
Oh, my sweet girl.
Smiling, I brush the tassels from my eye and turn my head, finding my daughter three rows behind me, bouncing on her grandpa’s knee. Her eyes find mine and she waves wildly at me. Laughing, Wolf bends his head and whispers something against her ear. He’s probably promising to buy her a pony so long as she hushes her little mouth.
She’s mouthy like her mother.
I blow my little girl a kiss before slowly turning my attention back to the sea of graduates in front of me. The road to this day was long and hard, but so worth it. All the sleepless nights I spent writing papers and studying for exams while being a full-time mother are finally about to pay off. Of course there were times when I wanted to give up when I felt selfish for following my dreams of becoming a journalist. Times when I felt guilty for leaving Anna and times when I felt guilty for even living because Frankie isn’t here to reach his own goals. But those were the times I looked at my daughter and reminded myself she deserved more.
It’s true what they say…as parents we want to give our children the world. We want to give them all the things we never had. I didn’t have a mother for more than half of my life. No woman to look up to or strive to become.
So, for my Anna, I pushed through and today, when I hold that diploma in my hand and look out into the audience and find her face, I’ll give her something I never had.
A role model.
Wolf talks about life lessons and sometimes he shares his regrets with me too. He once told me he wished he had one more day with all three boys, he’d do all the things he never got to do. He’d teach them life isn’t always fair. He’d tell them life is too short to hold a grudge, that forgiveness is key. And he’d tell them to love one another through thick and thin and even in death.
It got me thinking about the lessons I wanted to teach Anna. She had her grandpa to teach her the things he wished he had taught her dad and her uncles, so I didn’t have to touch on any of those things. I think the biggest lesson I could teach my daughter is never to give up. When she’s at her lowest, I want her to remember there is someone somewhere worse off than her and I want her to remember she’s loved.
So incredibly loved.
I want her to leap.
To dance.
God, I want her to dance.
I want her not to be afraid of fire.
I want her to find a great first love.
To cherish it.
To hold it close.
And then I want her to find her greatest love of all, and I want her to know it doesn’t have to be a man she loves most. It could be her career. It could be her child.
It could be anything that sets her heart on fire.
If she’s lucky, she’ll have it all, but I want her to know it’s okay if she doesn’t too. I want her to be grateful, to accept all the blessings God gives her, and I want her to learn how to pray to the rosary—the correct way.
“Carina Ritzer.”
I rise to my feet at the sound of my name, and I welcome the tears that slide down my cheek as I make my way out of the aisle. After all, I earned them. As I climb the stairs to the stage, I hear Wolf whistle and Anna calls me and a smile spreads across my lips.
Reaching the dean of students, I shake his hand as he congratulates me. He hands me my degree and I turn to the crowd, smiling at my family.
At the father who didn’t create me but loves me just as if he did.
At the two women, Sophie and Maria, who have taught me how to be a mom.
At the little girl who healed all the broken hearts. She may be my daughter, but she’s our Anna Banana and her daddy’s legacy.
I turn to step off the stage but pause.
Something pulls at me.
I lift my chin and stare at the back of the room.
At the man dressed in leather holding a bouquet of roses.
My breath catches as I blink expecting him to disappear, but he stands there with a proud smile on his face and when our eyes lock, he winks at me.
I’ve cried a lot of tears, for a lot of different reasons, but it’s been a long while since I cried because my heart wa
nted to dance in the flames.
Since Frankie passed, Nico has been present in every aspect of Anna’s life. He’s celebrated every milestone, embraced every triumph and kissed every boo-boo. But that’s where it ends. Sometimes I think I imagined it all.
The stolen touches.
Every aching glance that burned through me and left me begging for more.
The love that we didn’t mean to find.
The love we couldn’t escape, no matter how hard we tried.
The love we forfeited in the darkest hour of our lives.
But I didn’t imagine it, just like I’m not imagining it now.
Burning.
Aching.
Begging.
He’s really here, and this time it isn’t out of love for Anna.
This time, he’s here for me.
I make my way down the stairs and find my seat, my heart pounding inside my chest. I try to pay attention to the rest of the ceremony. I clap when everyone else does, and I flip my tassel. I even toss my cap up in the air. When it’s finally over, I turn around and he’s still there…waiting.
Burning.
Aching.
Begging.
Anna rushes towards me and I lift her off the ground, squeezing her in my arms.
“Mama you did it!”
Those four words split my heart wide open and pride soars from every orifice of my being.
“Let me see that,” Wolf says, reaching for my degree. “Look at that, Lady, we got ourselves a college graduate.”
“Our first,” Maria boasts, kissing my cheek.
“Proud of you, sweetheart,” Wolf adds, spreading his arms wide. I step into them and he wraps them around me and Anna, kissing the tops of our heads.
“Thank you,” I murmur.
Thank you for taking me in.
For giving me a home.
For loving me.
For supporting me and encouraging me.
For never turning your back on me.
For giving me a family I’m so grateful to call my own.
“We’re all proud of you, Carrie,” Sophie chimed in, her eyes drifting over my shoulder.
“Uncle Ni Ni! Anna calls, wiggling out of mine and Wolf’s arms. He releases me and I set her on her feet, turning to watch as she runs to her uncle.
“Anna Banana,” he greets, crouching to one knee. He transfers the bouquet to one hand and pulls her into the crook of his arm, nuzzling her neck with kisses.
“You got me flowers!”
“Uh…actually…” he pauses to glance at the bouquet before lifting his chin and pinning me with his brown eyes. “I thought we could give them to your mom,” he continues.
I smile at him and something flickers in his eyes as he rises to his full height. With the flowers in one hand and Anna’s hand in the other, he starts for me.
“Anna, baby, if you come here right now grandpa will buy you a pony and a stable. I’ll buy you a whole farm,” Wolf says from behind me.
“Al!” Maria scolds.
“Please, Lady, I ain’t getting any younger over here,” he hisses.
“None of us are,” Sophie mumbles. “Come, Anna, and grandma will get you a tractor for that farm grandpa’s going to buy you.”
Anna’s eyes go wide and she peels her hand from Nico’s.
“A real farm?”
“Yeah, we’ll have Uncle Tiger find one in Staten Island for you. Come,” Wolf urges and Anna takes off behind me. Feeling that force pull me, I look at Nico.
“Green Eyes,” he murmurs.
“Water Fairy,” I rasp and he flashes me the most brilliant smile.
Then he offers me the flowers and clears his throat, the smile disappearing. A perplexed look taking its place.
“These are for you,” he says.
“Thank you,” I murmur, awkwardly.
I’m not sure how to react to him. I mean, it’s Nico—every part of me wants to run into his arms and hold on for dear life. But I don’t know if that’s acceptable.
If it’s the reason, he’s here.
It feels like I’m walking that thin line again. My feet are itching to leap, but everything that’s happened in the last two years keeps me rooted in place.
“You’re going to have to make the first move,” he whispers, and I stare at him, my mouth agape as he wiggles the flowers in his hand.
I reach for them, but he snatches them back and closes his free hand over mine. Our eyes lower to our intertwined fingers.
“They still fit,” he says, looking at me now.
“Nico,” I breathe.
Please God, let this be real.
Don’t let this be another test or a cruel act of fate.
“So, I know this place that makes a killer sundae…I was thinking you and I should go test it out.”
I blink.
Once.
Twice.
Then I search his eyes.
Burning.
Aching.
Begging.
“What?”
“We get one life, Green Eyes,” he murmurs as he tugs me closer. “I don’t want to spend the rest of mine pretending I don’t love you, and I don’t think you do either.”
Oh, God, I don’t.
I want to breathe again.
“If you’re pulling my leg…”
“Still mouthy, I see.”
Then he steals that little bit of breath he gave me only a second ago by sealing his mouth over mine. It’s a simple brush of our lips, but, oh…the fire.
Beautiful, glorious fire.
Burning.
Aching.
Begging.
He opens his eyes and I peer up at them.
“You kissed me.”
“That’s not all I’m gonna do you, Green Eyes. But first, ice cream,” he says, inching back to look over my head. “You got, Anna, Pop?”
My cheeks heat as I realize Nico just kissed me in front of Wolf, Maria, Sophie and…Anna. Cringing, I glance over my shoulder, expecting to find disdain on their faces, but I find the total opposite.
I see Smiles.
I see tears of joy.
I see acceptance.
It’s all right there, shining from the eyes of Frankie’s mom and dad.
My sweet, sweet Frankie.
~*~
Nico
On the heels of every great loss, there is something more beautiful waiting. Sometimes it’s the thing you spent most of your life wishing for, other times it’s something you didn’t know existed. When it comes into your life, you reflect on the road you took to find it. You remember the loss. You relive the pain and then you lay it to rest. You make peace with the realization that there is a bigger plan for you, and you stop walking the line.
You lay everything on that line.
All your sorrows.
Every apology.
The regrets.
Every ounce of guilt.
You put it all down and you jump over that thing with both fucking feet.
You take your girl’s hand and you turn your back to that fence, to the overpass where she saved your life and you tune out the cars whizzing on the highway below.
You look up to the dark sky and you thank your brother.
You thank him for loving you.
You thank him for the memories he gave you, the memories you will cherish for all your days.
You thank him for his forgiveness too, for being the better man.
And you thank him for the two great blessings he gave you before you promise to love him even in death.
Then you breathe.
You just fucking breathe because that’s what he’d want you to do.
The End
-Epilogue-
Parrish
Throwing my leg over the side of my Harley, I dismount. I trek my ass up the concrete steps to the wooden porch of Big Nose Kate’s and I freeze. A calm breeze washes over me, and I wait on bated breath for the sound of my maker to appear—for that vile cunt to fill my
head with noise.
For her to spew her poison.
Minutes pass and nothing.
No noise.
No glimpse of the black crow.
Nothing.
I gave that bitch fifty years of my life and four years ago I put her down for good. They said it wouldn’t work, that I wasn’t the right candidate for the drug, but I proved those motherfuckers wrong. I showed them where there is a will, there is a way. I showed them when a man has heart, he’s fucking unstoppable.
It was a long-awaited hallelujah for the man society chewed up and spat out and here’s the clincher—sometimes I miss her. But that’s what happens when a man lives so long with a debilitating illness. It wears on him and it becomes part of his identity. He doesn’t know how to be calm. He doesn’t know how to enjoy peace because he lived and bred chaos throughout his entire existence. So he often asks himself who he is if he’s not the psychotic fuck wreaking havoc on the streets of New York.
Then one day, he’s sitting on his stoop with his wife and his daughter, watching his teenage boy play stickball in the street with his son-in-law while his two little granddaughters sit in the grass in front of his house with their dolls pretending to play house, and it all clicks.
He’s Jack fucking Parrish.
Reina’s husband.
The father of Lacey, Danny and the beloved Jack Junior.
He’s Blackie’s father-in-law and the grandfather of Jacqueline and Dominique Petra.
And that’s all he ever wanted to be.
But every now and then I like to visit my roots and remind myself of the journey I traveled to find peace. You should try it once in a while, my friend, you’ll be better for it—trust me.
I turn back to the bar and pull open the door. Stepping a foot inside, a sense of nostalgia warms my black soul. The place hasn’t changed since the day Riggs bought it and I like that. Too much change is never a good thing.
My gaze wanders to the bar and to the three men who occupy the stools at the far end. Their eyes find mine and they tip their chins to me. Bash, Bishop, and Nico—they couldn’t be any more different, and yet they once were the same. Just three lost souls trying to find their footing in a cold and uninviting world.
Walking The Line (Satan's Knights Prospect Trilogy Book 3) Page 25