Meet My Maker the Mad Molecule
Page 15
On Friday morning, Gustav rose from his bed. Wrapped in his yellow dotted robe, he padded across the floor boards and dusty brown carpet. There were some blue thistle flowers in a vase. He picked one and held it in his hand as he moved into the hallway and down the flight of stairs to the water closet. This was the coldest closet in the world and gave out upon the blackness of the coal yard. He stood there over this white morning bowl. A quick glance at the busted light switch. Opening both eyes. Pushing the window up and looking to the horizon of distant tracks and the arches of a bridge. A church steeple. A red underground train curving on the tracks. If the landlady popped up the stairs to see if they were gone, he would offer her this thistle. Antagonize her mind somewhat. People took no notice of other things if you carried a flower. As a child, his tutor, a distant impecunious uncle, had taught him this. Carry a flower through life Gustav and even if there is tragedy there will be fragrance and beauty as well.
About the Author
J. P. DONLEAVY was born in New York City in 1926 and educated there and at Trinity College, Dublin. He is the author of six novels, The Ginger Man, A Singular Man, The Saddest Summer of Samuel S, The Beastly Beatitudes of Balthazar B, The Onion Eaters, and A Fairy Tale of New York; a collection of stories, Meet My Maker the Mad Molecule; and a volume, The Plays of J. P. Donleavy, With a Preface by the Author. The plays included are The Ginger Man, Fairy Tales of New York, A Singular Man, and The Saddest Summer of Samuel S. His most recent work is The Unexpurgated Code: A Complete Manual of Survival & Manners. Mr. Donleavy currently makes his home in Ireland, on the shores of Lough Owel.
BOOKS BY J. P. DONLEAVY
Novels
THE GINGER MAN
A SINGULAR MAN
THE SADDEST SUMMER OF SAMUEL S
THE BEASTLY BEATITUDES OF BALTHAZAR B
THE ONION EATERS
A FAIRY TALE OF NEW YORK
Plays
THE GINGER MAN
FAIRY TALES OF NEW YORK
A SINGULAR MAN
THE SADDEST SUMMER OF SAMUEL S
Stories
MEET MY MAKER THE MAD MOLECULE
General
THE UNEXPURGATED CODE
A Complete Manual of Survival & Manners
Copyright
First e-book digital edition
published 2011 by
THE LILLIPUT PRESS
62–63 Sitric Road, Arbour Hill Dublin 7, Ireland
www.lilliputpress.ie
Copyright © J.P. Donleavy, 2011
ISBN 978 1 84351 206 6
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior permission of the publisher.
The Lilliput Press receives financial assistance from An Chomhairle Ealaíon / The Arts Council of Ireland.
THE BEASTLY BEATITUDES OF BALTHAZAR B
J. P. Donleavy
“You’ll want to read BALTHAZAR B. It’ll make you laugh and cry. The story is simple. A wealthy young Frenchman of Irish ancestry is born in Paris, schooled in England and at Trinity College, Dublin, married and separated in London. He begins and remains shy and gentle. He seeks love. It proves elusive, even harder to keep than to find. Neither the meek nor the arrogant inherit the earth in Donleavy’s cosmos. While all possess it, none can keep it. In laughing or weeping over this poor little rich boy we really laugh and weep not for Balthazar but for ourselves.”
—SATURDAY REVIEW
“Incident upon hilarious, marvellously invented incident—encounters, disportings, disappointments, scenes of domestic life and strife, sexual spectaculars, small joys and further sadnesses. It is Donleavy at his best …”
—NEWSWEEK
“Revelatory, delightful and sometimes very poignant, this romp of a novel is lush and lovely, bawdy and sad … the stuff of the passions and dreams of being alive.”
—THE NEW YORK TIMES
“Donleavy is capable of making the heterosexual act seem as lyrical and as blessed as it sometimes is in reality.”
—LIFE MAGAZINE
“While the overall tone of the book is tragic and almost elegiac, the individual scenes are often hilarious … unmatched in literature for comic ferocity.”
—TIME MAGAZINE
“Genuine and touching … J. P. Donleavy is, I think, one of the most accomplished and original writers of our time, and BALTHAZAR B belongs with his best.”
—JOSEPH HELLER
“One of the few really great writers we have.”
—THE NEW LEADER
In hardcover: Delacorte Press/Seymour Lawrence $7.95
In paperback: A Dell/Laurel Edition $1.50
A FAIRY TALE OF NEW YORK
J. P. Donleavy
“A FAIRY TALE OF NEW YORK is provisioned with the malign Niebelungen of our urban land: power jobbers, sexual self-destructs, Kamikaze eccentrics. It’s about social impotence and despair … Donleavy’s thunderous superb humor has the efficacy of grace. It heals and conquers and ratifies. J. P. Donleavy is a writer of explosive, winning imagination.”
—THE NEW YORK TIMES
“The author of THE GINGER MAN has the kind of imagination that can make almost any aspect of life a fairy tale. Taking on New York, he’s come-upon fertile ground.”
—PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
“Donleavy’s best book to date and ample evidence of his staying power.”
—BOOK WORLD
“A noble book. J. P. Donleavy is among the very fine writers of his generation.”
—CLEVELAND PLAIN DEALER
“Donleavy is funny, poetic and sad. A FAIRY TALE OF NEW YORK is his mordant valentine to Manhattan, a tragicomic jamboree.”
—SAN FRANCISCO EXAMINER & CHRONICLE
“Donleavy is one of the leading comic writers of our day.”
—BOSTON GLOBE
“Skillfully seasoned, a willful nihilism studded with princely compensations: the honeysuckle bloom of love, the carnal whiff of sex, prancing imaginary sheikdoms, the shuffling joy of combat. It is all good Donleavy.”
—LIBRARY JOURNAL
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In paperback: A Dell/Laurel Edition $1.75
THE GINGER MAN
J. P. Donleavy
THE COMPLETE AND UNEXPURGATED EDITION
“In the person of THE GINGER MAN, Sebastian Dangerfield, Donleavy created one of the most outrageous scoundrels in contemporary fiction, a whoring, boozing young wastrel who sponges off his friends and beats his wife and girl friends. Donleavy then turns the moral universe on its head by making the reader love Dangerfield for his killer instinct, flamboyant charm, wit, flashing generosity—and above all for his wild, fierce, two-handed grab for every precious second of life.”
—TIME MAGAZINE
“No one who encounters him will forget Sebastian Dangerfield.”
—NEW YORK HERALD TRIBUNE
“THE GINGER MAN is a picaresque novel to stop them all. Lusty, violent, wildly funny, it is a rigadoon of rascality, a bawled-out comic song of sex.”
—Dorothy Parker, in ESQUIRE
“The whole novel is a wild and unpredictable outburst.”
—SATURDAY REVIEW
First published in Paris in 1955. An expurgated edition appeared in England in 1956 and in the United States in 1958. The complete and unexpurgated edition was brought out in England in 1963 and in the United States by Delacorte Press/Seymour Lawrence in 1965.
In hardcover: Delacorte Press/Seymour Lawrence $7.95
In paperback: A Delta Book $1.95 A Dell/Laurel Edition $1.25
THE ONION EATERS
J. P. Donleavy
“THE ONION EATERS is a major work … a brilliant, gorgeous book, and enduring literature.”
—BALTIMORE SUN
“In the best, titillating tradition of a classic ribald tale … When was the last time a novel jolted me, the last time I loved passages enough to read them aloud to strangers? It’s THE ONION EATERS by th
e incredible J. P. Donleavy!”
—WOMEN’S WEAR DAILY
“Beautiful and outrageous!”
—TIME
“Bawdy and tender … a prodigious work!”
—SAN FRANCISCO EXAMINER & CHRONICLE
“One grand continuous round … Many writers would give their right arm for Donleavy’s strength and beauty and purpose.”
—BOSTON GLOBE
“Donleavy’s comic inventiveness runs riot … an erotic anti-hero, mad couplings with a variety of beauties, randy characters who include the most unforgettable dirty old man since de Sade … a memorable novel … Donleavy has no master in loosing a bull in the china-shop of our dull everydays!”
—CHICAGO NEWS
In hardcover: Delacorte Press/Seymour Lawrence $7.95
In paperback: A Dell Book $1.25
THE PLAYS OF J. P. DONLEAVY
With a Preface by the Author
ILLUSTRATED WITH PHOTOGRAPHS
THE GINGER MAN is preceded by an account of its Church-enforced closing in Dublin. The play was referred to by the London Daily Express as “This bawdy, blasphemous, rich, ragged, monstrous masterpiece,” and by the New Yorker as “A work of such wit and audacity in its lines, characters and action that it almost carries the production.”
Of FAIRY TALES OF NEW YORK, Mr. Donleavy’s second play, Kenneth Tynan wrote, “It has remained for J. P. Donleavy to invent a theatrical form in which the genius of the comic vignettist can flourish … a chain of theatrical pearls nourished by a master of comic dialogue. Benchley, had he lived, would have rejoiced.”
Of Mr. Donleavy’s third play, the London Times said, “A SINGULAR MAN is undoubtedly a most singular play both in what it says and in how it says it. It is also a brilliant one, painstakingly reduced from the rough, hand-cut and polished into a hundred and one facets. This modern morality is at once one of the funniest and one of the saddest plays and it will do much to reinforce Mr. Donleavy’s reputation as one of the finest and most touching comic writers of our time.”
THE SADDEST SUMMER OF SAMUEL S is based on his novella and is published here for the first time. These plays continue to be performed in many countries and languages and are fascinating blueprints of the novels on which they are based.
In hardcover: Delacorte Press/Seymour Lawrence $10.00
In paperback: A Delta Book $2.95
A SINGULAR MAN
J. P. Donleavy
“His giant mausoleum abuilding, George Smith, the mysterious man of money, lives in a world rampant with mischief, of chiselers and cheats. Having sidestepped slowly away down the little alleys of success he tiptoes through a luxurious, lonely life between a dictatorial Negress housekeeper and two secretaries, one of which, Sally Tomson, the gay, wild and willing beauty, he falls in love with. … “George Smith is such a man as Manhattan’s subway millions have dreamed of being.”
—TIME MAGAZINE
“A SINGULAR MAN is a love story, a melodrama, an unresolved detective story, a soap opera, a vaudeville routine, and a very fine novel….”
—THE NEW YORKER
“… excruciatingly funny …”
—NEWSWEEK
“A rollicking, rambunctious novel in which a sensitive but tough-minded hero battles the evil world with a parody of its own methods … sheer pleasure to read.”
—THE NEW YORK TIMES
“… a wild romp, a funny, funny book.”
—CHICAGO TRIBUNE
“A masterpiece of writing about love.”
—THE NATIONAL OBSERVER
In hardcover: Delacorte Press/Seymour Lawrence $7.95
In paperback: A Dell/Laurel Edition $1.50
THE UNEXPURGATED CODE
A Complete Manual of Survival & Manners
J. P. Donleavy
ILLUSTRATED WITH DRAWINGS BY THE AUTHOR
With the world a harsh cruel place and an enemy out to get you if it can, courtesy will not make you rich overnight but by degrees it makes others feel good and this in turn will make you feel even better. Currently there are a lot of sleazy people who think manners a weakness and rudeness a strength, and that the mild are doomed to be poor and the nasty destined to be richer. In the face of this reality, although there is no need to behave squalidly in the first instance, it’s as well to know when to riposte, sock or sue.
With more and more folk from the wrong side of the tracks, it is important to make more room at the bottom. It is de rigueur that one should attempt to rise up at least a social class before everyone tries to shove you back down through two below. The Unexpurgated Code takes plain folk through the useful rules of social climbing, accent improvement, to throwing your first large party. Treating not only the problem of being unsocially registered while rubbing shoulders with the haughty and rich, but also the nice demeanors to sport when you reach the top.
For all those in the monstrous volume of Who Ain’t, ass-kissing and other types of flattery are fully covered plus dying and suicide if neither of the previous wiles help you. For those wanting to polish their fastidiousness, items deal with farting, nose picking, right down to placing the blame for a dose of clap. In these times of social upheaval, those on top need to know as much about how to stay up there as those on the bottom need to know about learning how to climb, and The Unexpurgated Code gives equal advice to both. To any true lover of the human spirit, this will be a recipe of behavior to follow.
In hardcover: Delacorte Press/Seymour Lawrence $10.00