Si Klegg, Book 3

by John McElroy

  CHAPTER II. ROSENBAUM, THE SPY

  THE JEW TELLS THE THRILLING STORY OF HIS ADVENTURE.

  THE Officer of the Guard was a long time in coming, and Mr. Rosenbaumgrew quite chatty and communicative, as they sat around the bright fireof cedar logs and smoked.

  "Yes," he said, "I have been in the secret service ever since thebeginning of the war--in fact, before the war, for I began getting newsfor Frank Blair in the Winter before the war. They say Jews haveno patriotism. That's a lie. Why should they have no patriotism forcountries where they were treated like dogs? In Germany, where I wasborn, they treated us worse than dogs. They made us live in a little,nasty, pig-pen of an alley; we had to go in at sundown, unt stay there;we had to wear a different cloze from other folks, unt we didn't dare tosay our souls were our own to any dirty loafer that insulted us.

  "Here we are treated like men, unt why shouldn't we help to keep thecountry from breaking up? Jews ought to do more than anybody else, untI made up my mind from the very first that I was going to do all thatI could. The Generals have told me that I could do much better for thecountry in the secret service than as a soldier; they could get plentyof soldiers unt but few spies."{25}

  "Now you're shoutin'," said Shorty. "They kin git me to soldier as longas the war lasts, for the askin', but I wouldn't be a spy 10 minutes fora corn-basket full o' greenbacks. I have too much regard for my neck. Ineed it in my business."

  "You a spy," said Si derisively. "You couldn't spy for sour apples. Thembig feet o' your'n 'd give you dead away to anybody that'd ever seen youbefore."

  "Spyin' isn't the business that any straightfor'rd man,"--the Deaconbegan to say in tones of cold disapproval, and then he bethought himof courtesy to the stranger, and changed hastily--"that I'd like to do.It's entirely too resky."

  "O, it's jest as honorable as anything else. Pap," said Si, divininghis father's thought. "All's fair in love and war. We couldn't git alongwithout spies. They're as necessary as muskets and cannon."

  "Indeed they are," said Mr. Rosenbaum earnestly; "you wouldn't know whatto do with your muskets and cannon if the spies didn't tell you wherethe rebels were, unt how many there was of them. I go out unt getinformation that it would cost hundreds of lives to get, unt may savethousands of lives, unt all that it costs is one poor little Jew's neck,when they drop on to him some day, unt leave him swinging from a tree.But when that time comes, I shall make no more complaint than theseother poor boys do, who get their heads knockt off in battle. I'm nobetter than they are. My life belongs to the country the same as theirs,unt this free Government is worth all our lives, unt more, too."

  His simple, sincere patriotism touched the Deacon{26} deeply. "I'd noidee that there was so much o' the man in a Jew," he said to himself.Then he asked the stranger:

  "How did you come to go into the spy business, Mr. Rosenbaum?"

  "Well, I was in St. Louis in the Clothing pizniss, unt you know it waspurty hot there. All the Germans were for the Union, unt most ofthe Americans unt Irish seemed to be Secessionists. I sided with theGermans, but as nobody seemed to think that a Jew had any principles orcared for anything but the almighty dollar, everybody talked right outbefore me, unt by keepin' my ears wide open I got hold of lots of news,which I took straight to General Lyon. I got well acquainted with him,and he used to send me here and there to find out things for him. I'dsell gray uniforms and other things to the Secessionists; they'd talk toone another right before me as to what was being done, and I'd keep myears wide open all the time, though seemed to be only thinking about thefit and the buttons and the gold lace.

  "Then General Lyon wanted to find out just exactly how many men therewas in Camp Jackson--no guesswork--no suppose. I took 2,000 of mybusiness cards, printed on white, and 1,000 printed on gray paper. Iwent through the whole camp. To every man in uniform I give a whitecard; to every man without a uniform, who seemed to be there forearnest, I give a gray card. When I got back I counted my cards inGeneral Lyon's office, unt found I'd give out 500 white cards unt 200gray{27} ones. Then General Lyon took out about 3,000 men, unt broughtthe whole crowd back with him."

  "Then General Lyon," continued Rosenbaum, "sent me out from Springfield,Mizzouri, to see how many men old Pap Price unt Ben McCullough hadgathered up against him from Mizzouri, Arkansaw, Texas unt the plains.Holy Moses, I was scared when I saw the pile of them. The whole worldseemed to be out there, yipping unt yelling for Jeff Davis, drinking rawsod-corn whisky, making secession speeches, unt shooting at marks.

  "I rode right into them, unt pretended that I was looking for Mexicansilver dollars to take to Mexico to buy powder unt lead for the rebelarmy. I had a lot of new Confedrit notes that I'd got from my cousin,who was in the tobacco business in Memphis. They was great curiosities,unt every man who had a Mexican dollar wanted to trade it for aConfedrit dollar.

  "There was no use tryin' to count the men--might as well have triedto count the leaves on the trees, so I begun to count the regiments.I stuck a pin in my right lapel for every Mizzouri regiment, one in myleft lapel for every Arkansaw regiment, one in my vest for every onefrom Texas. I had black pins for the cannons. I was getting along verywell, when I run across Bob Smiles, a dirty loafer, who had been acustomer in St. Louis. He wouldn't pay me, unt I had to get out a writunt levy on his clothes just as he was dressing to go to a quadroonball.

  "I left him with only a necktie, which was worth nothing to me, as ithad been worn and soiled. He was very sore against me, unt I was notsurprised.{28}

  "It made me sick at my stomach when I saw him come up.

  "'Hello, you damn Dutch Jew,' he said. 'What are you doing here?'

  "I tried to be very pleasant, unt I put out my hand unt said, with mybest smile:

  "'Good gracious. Bob, how glad I am to see you. When did you gethere? Are you well? How are the other boys? Who's here? Where are youstopping?'

  "But I might as well have tried to make friends with a bull dog in frontof a farm house where all the people had gone away.

  "'Go to blazes,' he said. 'None of your bizniss how I am, how I gothere, or how the other boys are. Better not let them find out you'rehere. They'll take it out of your Jew hide for the way you used to skinthem in St. Louis. I want to know what the devil you are doing here?'

  "'Now, Mister Smiles,' I said, pleasant as a May morning, 'that's notthe way to talk to me. You know I got up the stylishest clothes untthe best fits in St. Louis. We had a little trouble, it is true. Itwas nothing, though. Just a little business dispute. You know I alwaysthought you one of the very nicest men in St. Louis, unt I said so, evento the Squire unt to the Constable.'

  "'Go to the devil, you Savior-killing Jew,' said he. 'Shut up yourmouth, or I'll stuff a piece of pork in it. I want to know at once whatyou are doing here? Where did you come from?'

  "'I come from Memphis,' said I. 'I'm in the service of the SouthernConfedrisy. General Pillow sent{29} me to gather up all the Mexicandollars I could find, to send to Mexico to buy ammunition.'

  "'It's a lie, of course,' said he. 'A Jew'd rather lie than eat, anyday. Then you're one of them St. Louis Dutch--them imported Hessians.They're all dead against us. They all ought to be killed. I ought tokill you myself for being so cussed mean to me.'

  "He put his hand on his revolver in a way that made my breakfast sourin my stomach, but then I knew that Bob Smiles was a great blowhard, unthis bark was much worse than his bite. In St. Louis he was always goingto fight somebody unt kill somebody, but he never done neither. Quite acrowd gathered around, unt Bob blew off to them, unt they yelled,'Hang the Jew spy. Kill the damn rascal,' and other things that made meunhappy. But what made my flesh crawl was to see a man who wasn't sayingmuch, go to a wagon, pull out a rope, unt begin making a noose on theend. Bob Smiles caught hold of my collar unt started to drag me towarda tree. Just as I was giving up everything for lost, up comes JimJones--the same man I'm going to meet here--he come runnin' up. He wasdressed in full uniform as a rebel officer--gray coat unt pants, silverstars on hi
s collar, high boots, gray slouched hat with gold cord, untso on.

  "'Here, what is the matter? What's all this fuss in camp?' he said.

  "'We've ketched one of them Dutch Jews from St. Louis spying our camp,Major,' said Bob Smiles, letting loose of my collar to salute theMajor's silver stars. 'And we are going to hang him.'{30}

  "'A spy? How do you know he's a spy?'" asked Jim Jones.

  "'Well, he's Dutch; he's a Jew, unt he's from St. Louis. What more doyou want?'" asked Bob Smiles.

  TRYING TO SAVE HIS NECK. 30]

  The crowd yelled, unt de man with the rope went to the tree unt flungone end over a limb.

  "'His being a St. Louis Dutchman is against him,'{31} said Jim Jones,'but his being a Jew is in his favor. A Jew don't care a blame forpolitics. He hain't got no principles. He'd rather make a picayune offyou in a trade than have a wagon-load of principles. But you fellershave got nothing to do with spies, anyway. That's headquarters' bizniss.I'm an officer at General Price's headquarters. I'll take him up thereunt examine him. Bring him along.'

  "'Go along, Jew,' said two of three of them, giving me kicks, as BobSmiles started with me. The man with the rope stood by the tree lookingvery disappointed.

  "When we got near General Price's tent, Jim Jones says to the rest:

  "'You stop there. Come along with me, Jew.'

  "He took me by the collar, unt we walked toward General Price's tent. Hewhispered to me as we went along: 'You're all right, Rosenbaum. I knowyou, unt I know what you're here for. Just keep a stiff upper lip, tellyour story straight, unt I'll see you through.'

  "I KNOW YOU, UNT WHAT YOU'RE HERE FOR." 32]

  "That scared me worse than ever, but all that I could do was to keep upmy nerve, unt play my cards coolly. We went into the General's tent, buthe was busy, unt motioned us with his hand to the Adjutant-General.

  "'What's the matter?' asked the Adjutant-General, motioning me to sitdown, while he went on making tally marks on a sheet of paper, as a mancalled off the regiments that had reported. Then he footed them allup, unt, turning to another officer, read from it so many Arkansawregiments, so many{32} Louisianny, so many Mizzouri, so many Texas, somany batteries of artillery, unt he said to another officer as he laidthe paper face down among the other papers on his table: 'Just as I toldyou, Colonel. We have fully 22,000 men ready for battle.' Then to us:'Well, what can I do for you?'

  "'The boys had picked up this Jew for a spy, Colonel,' said Jim Jones,pointing to me, 'unt they{33} were about to hang him, just to pass awaythe afternoon more than for anything else. I took him away from them,telling them that it was your privilege to hang spies, unt you could doit according to the science of war. I brung him up here to get him awayfrom them. After they're gone away or got interested in something elseI'll take him unt put him outside of camp.'

  "'All right," said de Adjutant-General, without taking much interest inthe matter. 'Do with him as you please. A Jew more or less isn't of anyconsequence. Probably he deserves hanging, though, but it isn't well toencourage the boys to hang men on sight. They're quite too ready to dothat, anyway.'

  "He talked to the other man a little, unt then when he went away heturned to me, unt said, sort of lazy like, as if he didn't care anythingabout it:

  "'Where are you from?'

  "'From Memphis,' said I.

  "'Great place, Memphis,' said he; 'one of the thriving suburbs ofSatan's Kingdom. Had lots of fun there. I know every faro bank in it,which speaks well for my memory, if not for my morals. What bizniss wasyou in?'

  "'Clothing,' said I.

  "'What a fool question to ask a Jew,' said he, yawning. 'Of course, youwas in the clothing trade. You was born in it. All Jews have been sincethey gambled for the Savior's garments.'

  "'They wasn't Jews what gambled for Christ's clothes,' said I, pickingup a little courage. 'They vass Romans--Italians--Dagoes.'{34}

  "'Was they?' said he. 'Well, mebbe they was. I haven't read my Bible forso long that I've clean forgot. Say, what are you doing with all thempins?'

  "The question come so unexpected that it come nearly knocking me offmy base. I had calculated on almost every other possible thing, untwas ready for it, except that fool question. I thought for a minit thatdisappointed man by the tree with the rope was going to get his job,after all. But I gathered myself together with a jerk, unt calmly saidwith a smile:

  "'O, that's some of my foolishness. I can't get over being a tailor, andsticking all the pins what I find in my lapel. I must pick up every oneI see.'

  "'Queer where you found them all,' said he. 'Must've brung them fromMemphis with you. I can't find one in the whole camp. Our men usenails unt thorns instead of pins. I've been wanting a lot of pins for mypapers. Let me have all you got. I wish you had a paper of them.'

  "I did have two or three papers in my pockets, unt first had a fool ideaof offering them to him. Then I remembered that disappointed man withthe rope by the tree, unt pulled the pins out of my lapels one by oneunt give them to him, trying to keep count in my head as I did so.

  "'What are you doing here, anyway?' he asked as he gathered up the pinsunt put them in a pasteboard box.

  "'I come here at General Pillow's orders, to pick up some Mexican silferdollars, to buy ammunition in Mexico.

  "'Another of old blowhard Pillow's fool schemes,'{35} said he. 'I knowold Pillow. I served with him in Mexico, when he dug his ditch on thewrong side of his fortification. He's probably going to do some-thingelse with the dollars than buy ammunition. Old Gid Pillow's a mightyslick one, I tell you, when it comes to filling his own pockets. He's nofool there, whatever he may be in other ways. He's working some schemeto skin our men, unt making you his partner, then he'll turn around untskin you. I'll stop it going any further by turning you out of camp, untI ought to take away from you all the money you've gathered up, but Iwon't do it on one condition.'

  "'What is your condition?' said I, trying not to speak too quick.

  "'You say you are in the clothing pizniss. I want awfully a niceuniform, just like the Major's there. What's such a uniform worth?'

  "'About $75,' said I.

  "'I paid $65 for this in St. Louis,' said Jim Jones.

  "'Well, $10 is not much of a skin for a Memphis Jew,' laughed theAdjutant-General. 'I tell you what I'll do, if you'll swear by the bookof Deuteronomy, unt Moses, Abraham unt Isaac, to have me inside of twoweeks just such a uniform as the Major's there, I'll let you off withall the money you have made already, unt when you come back with it I'llgive you written permission to trade for every silver dollar in camp.'

  "'It is a bargain,' said I.

  "'Unt it'll be a perfect fit," said he.

  "'Just like the paper on the wall,' said I. 'Let me{36} take yourmeasure.'

  "I had my eye all the time on the paper he had laid carelessly down untforgotten. I pulled my tapemeasure out. The old idee of the tailor comeup. I forgot about the disappointed man with the rope by the tree, untwas my old self taking the measure of a customer. I put all the figuresdown on his piece of paper, without his noticing what I was using. Iasked him about the lining, the trimming, unt the pockets, unt wrotethem down. Then I folded up the paper unt stuck it in my breast pocket,unt my heart gave a big thump, though I kept my face straight, unt wenton talking about buttons unt silk braid unt gold lace for the sleeves. Ipromised him he should have the uniform in the army in two weeks' time.Just then some officers come in, unt Jim Jones hurried me out. I couldnot understand Jim Jones. He hurried me across to a place behind thewoods, where we found some horses.

  "'Untie that one unt get on quick,' he said. 'My God, you've got thething dead to rights; you've got everything on that piece of paper.My God, what luck! Smartest thing I ever saw done. Get that paper inGeneral Lyon's hands before midnight if you kill yourself unt horse indoing it. I'll take you out past part of the guards, unt show you how toavoid the rest. Then ride as if the devil was after you, until you reachGeneral Lyon's tent.'

  "I was dumfounded. I looked at Jim
Jones. His eyes was like fire. Thenit suddenly occurred to me that Jim Jones was a spy, too.

  "As I mounted I looked back across the camp. I saw the rope stillhanging from a limb of the tree,{37} and the disappointed man sittingdown beside it patiently waiting.

  "That night the paper was in General Lyon's hands, unt the next nightthe army moved out to fight the battle of Wilson's Creek.

  "The Adjutant-General is still waiting for that uniform."

  "Halt, who comes there?" called out Shorty, whose quick ears caught thesound of approaching footsteps.

  "The Officer of the Guard," responded from the bank of darkness in therear.

  "Advance, Officer of the Guard, and give the countersign," commandedShorty, lowering his musket to a charge bayonets.

  The officer advanced, leaned over the bayonet's point, and whispered thecountersign.

  "Countersign's correct," announced Shorty, bringing his gun to apresent. "Good evening. Lieutenant. We have got a man here who claims tobelong to the Secret Service."

  "Yes," answered the officer. "We've been expecting him all afternoon,but thought he was coming in on the other road. I'd have been aroundhere long ago only for that. This is he, is it? Well, let's hurry in.They want you at Headquarters as soon as possible."

  "Good night, boys," called out Mr. Rosenbaum as he disappeared; "see youagain soon."

  {38}