Boyfriend Maintenance

by Helms, Lauren

  “It’s now or never.” We start walking up the steps and I mumble, “It’s been five years, how bad can it be?” My words don’t go unnoticed, he lifts an eyebrow, but I ignore it and knock on the massive, dark wood, front door.

  It opens immediately and a maid I don’t recognize ushers us in.

  The obnoxious clacking of her heels announces her entrance before her words and I remind myself to keep my cool. “Emerson, nice of you to join us. I see you remembered how to get here.”

  “That was fast,” Jake whispers. Kitty appears out of thin air before the door behind us is even closed.

  I bite back a smile. Yes, yes, it was. “I lived here for eighteen years, Kitty, I don’t suspect I’ll ever forget,” I mutter, leaning in to kiss her cheek while she does the same.

  When she’s done with the pleasantries, she grips my forearms and studies my outfit. She makes a snooty sound from her nose. “What are you wearing, Emerson? You look like a beach bum.” I call it a win when she drops her hands and gives her attention to Jake, who straightens his shoulders. “Jake, it’s lovely to see you again.”

  I’m impressed she’s saying nice things even though she clearly doesn’t mean them because the disdain on her face is hard to miss.

  “Mrs. King, you have a lovely home.”

  She nods in agreement just as another knock comes at the door behind us. “Oh, please, Emmy, don’t crowd the door.” She shoos us away.

  “I’m ready for that drink now.” Jake chuckles in my ear.

  I drag him through the grand entryway into the parlor where one of my father’s many small bars is located. It’s stocked with all the standard alcohol but for today’s event it even boasts a bartender.

  Over the next hour or so, Jake’s hand never leaves the small of my back. He stands close and whispers in my ear a commentary of what he sees. The room is filled with people gossiping and kissing ass. It’s comical yet sad to see it from an outsider’s perspective. This is a life I don’t miss at all.

  He jokes and kisses my cheek. When we sit to watch Darcy and Levi open gifts, he holds my hand. The warmth between us is obvious, I just don’t know if it’s real. Is this all for show? Or is it because he can’t keep his hands to himself? I’m not sure I’m going to be able to get through another two events with him without knowing where we stand outside of this fake boyfriend gig. I’d be an idiot to think this is anything other than what it was supposed to be.

  After the gifts are opened, Jake looks for the bathroom while people scatter for cake. After directing him to the spacious half bath, I turn around and find Levi is walking toward me. We chat for several minutes. Even though it's about nothing special, it's nice to feel like myself for a few moments and not like I am in a cage or on display. Just as I realize that Jake's been gone longer than I would have expected, Darcy's mother pulls Levi away. After standing there for another minute longer, I take one last look at my watch and decide to go find my fake boyfriend. I'm assuming he probably got lost in the crowded maze of this house. The hall toward the bathroom is tucked back and away from the parlor, so there are not many people walking around. Just as I’m about to turn the corner, I stop when I hear Jake's voice.

  “Look, I’m really not interested.” He sounds firm.

  “Oh, come on. A man like you, you must be interested.” It’s Darcy’s voice I hear in response.

  My eyes narrow.

  “Darcy, you’re a very pretty woman, but I’m dating Emmy. I like her a lot and the last thing I’m going to do is jeopardize that relationship.” I peek around the corner. They are facing each other, neither one sees me. Jake removes Darcy’s hand from his chest. “Not to mention, you’re getting married to Emmy’s brother.”

  “It’s alright, no one has to know. I’ve been watching you, Jake, and I’m interested.” Honestly, it doesn’t surprise me that Darcy is making a play at Jake. She did this kind of thing all through high school. She was always stealing other girls’ boyfriends. Or at least tried to. I was quite surprised when I found out Levi was marrying her. She’s bad news.

  I contemplate helping him out, but he doesn’t need it. “You need to walk away, or I’ll have to tell Levi.”

  She huffs and snaps back, “Fine, you couldn’t handle this”—she waves her hand down the length of her body—“anyways.” She turns to stomp away, and I realize she’s coming right toward me. I panic and scurry back the way I came, ducking behind a large floor vase at the last minute. Peeking through the wisps of plant leaves, I see her turn into the hallway that leads to the kitchen. I sigh with relief as I straighten and head back for Jake.

  As I turn the corner, I see him standing in the same spot as before but he’s facing away from me. His hands are in his hair and he’s clearly agitated. When I get a little closer I hear his voice. He’s mumbling to himself, “Fuuuck. I’ve got to tell her.”

  I smile. He’s so cute, all worried and stressed out. I could play the whole, clueless act, but games aren’t my thing. Clearly, he’s upset and knows he’s got to tell me.

  “Wow, you are a man whore.” I chuckle. I might not like mind games, but I’m one hundred percent on board with teasing.

  Jake whips around to face me, looking stunned at first until he catches my smile. His shoulders sag in relief. “You heard all of that, didn’t you?” He leans back against the wall, I come up next to him and do the same. We are shoulder to shoulder. I don’t know when it happened, but it’s like our bodies are magnetic.

  “I did. Not all of it, just the part where you told her to pretty much back off.”

  He sighs. “You don’t sound surprised.” He turns his head toward me, one eyebrow raised.

  “Unfortunately, I’m not. I went to school with Darcy. She has a reputation. That’s why I couldn’t believe Levi was marrying her. Once a cheater, always a cheater.” I lean into him. “Good news is, it’s clear you are not. You’ve had what? Two women in just the past few days offering to … help you out? You going for a record or something?”

  “Or something.” He grins.

  Pushing off the wall, I grab his hand. “Come on, we have to tell Levi.”

  “I was hoping you weren’t going to say that. Levi and I didn’t quite get off on the right foot when we first met. This won’t help matters,” Jake grumbles, but I pull him down the hall anyway.

  Looking back over my shoulder I tell him, “It will be fine. Promise.” Then I wink.

  “I have the sudden urge to pull you into the bathroom right now,” he grumbles in reply. I nearly halt and take him up on his offer just as a teenage girl that I recognize as one of my stepsister, Ashley’s, friends walks past us and disappears into said bathroom. Maybe later then.

  As I weave through the small groups of people back in the parlor, Darcy is nowhere to be found. Levi is easy to spot though.

  “Levi, can we talk?” I tap on his shoulder.

  He turns and I can tell he's thankful for the interruption. His gaze flickers to Jake, his facial expression hardens just a smidge, but nods. Maybe I should be worried about his dislike for Jake. I lead us all out past the parlor through the house to the back. I always forget how big this place is in comparison to my shared apartment. I take us to a small study that Kitty likes to call hers. She has to have a place to plan all those fundraisers she handles for the Junior League.

  Jake walks over to the leather couch and sits down. Well, he might as well be comfortable for this awkward conversation we are about to have.

  “What’s up, sis?” Levi says, closing the door behind him.

  “I just want to preface this by saying that I love you and your happiness means the world to me,” I tell him.

  Levi chuckles and walks over near the big oak desk and leans against it.

  I remain standing, because I’m about to deliver bad news.

  “Right, got it.” He crosses his arms but still appears relaxed.

  “So, just now … well, about fifteen minutes ago, Darcy tried to proposition Jake for a little tryst
in the bathroom. He said no, obviously, but we felt you needed to know.”

  He studies me then Jake. I fight off my urge to fidget.

  “And he told you this happened?” He nods toward Jake, like maybe he doesn’t believe us.

  “I saw it happen.” I cross my own arms because I’m not sure I like his tone. I love my brother, but I’m going to defend Jake if need be.

  Levi doesn’t say anything right way, he just studies me. Then he looks down at his black, perfectly polished shoes.

  “Are you going to say anything?” I can’t help my annoyed tone.

  He lifts a shoulder, quite casually in my opinion. “I’m not surprised, it’s really not a big deal. Nothing happened, so we can move on.”

  Uh, what?

  I take a step back, feeling like I was just hit with a two-by-four. “I’m sorry, but why are you not mad?”

  “Because I’m not?” His tone matches my questioning one.

  “Why?” I’m mad for him, why isn’t he freaking mad?!

  He sighs. “Look, Ems, thank you for telling me, but it’s really not a big deal.” There is an expression that I can’t read on his face. Is he defeated? Does he look relieved? I don’t know. I just don’t understand why …

  Oh …

  “She’s done this before to you, hasn’t she?”

  He shrugs, emotionless.

  “And you’re just okay with your soon-to-be wife not even waiting for the ink to dry on the marriage certificate before she starts cheating?”

  “It is what it is, Ems.”

  “Bullshit, Levi,” I whisper-yell. “You’re going to marry Darcy and you’re completely okay with her cheating on you? You just don’t do that to the one you love!”

  “Keep your voice down, Emmy,” he hisses, and I roll my eyes. No one will hear us back here.

  “And who said anything about love?” he mutters.

  “Oh, so let me guess, this is Dad’s doing? Right? You’re not marrying for love, you're marrying for money?” I can’t help but snarl at the thought.

  “Don’t give me that—don’t judge me,” he bites back.

  “See, this is why I got out.”

  “Give me a break, it’s not like we’re in the mob. Stop being dramatic. Unlike you, I’m not interested in walking away from millions just to be happy. You know what? Money can buy fucking happiness. But then, you wouldn’t know, since you don’t have any anymore,” he snaps.

  That’s when I hear a shift beside me on the couch. That’s when I remember that Jake has been watching this whole shitshow of an argument.

  And now he knows my truth.

  Chapter 14

  Jake

  Did I hear that correctly? I shift in my seat, suddenly feeling overheated.

  I don’t think I understand what I am hearing right now. Emmy got out? She walked away from money? But she has money, lots of it. She lives in the 425 Madison building, for Christ’s sake. Plus, she dropped a grand on clothes for me and her own clothes are all designer.

  This doesn’t make sense. She has money—not that I care, I don’t have a lot of money, and I’m not a fucking gold digger.

  No, what doesn’t make sense is that she would lie to me about it. Why would she let me believe that she has money when she doesn’t? Why would she offer to pay me fifteen grand to be her fake boyfriend?

  What the actual fuck? There has got to be some kind of explanation here. One that doesn’t result in my anger quietly boiling up within me.

  I shoot a look to Emmy and she's standing stock-still, her eyes closed. I swing my gaze to Levi and see that he’s studying her as well.

  “Wait a second. Wait one-fucking-second.” Levi pushes off the desk, walks over to the couch I’m sitting on, and plops down at the other end. Once he’s comfortable he continues. “What’s going on here?”

  I stare hard at Emmy, willing her to look at me. She doesn’t.

  “So, let me get this straight, you’re getting all up in my business about starting a marriage built on infidelity, yet you’re starting a relationship out on a bed of lies? Interesting.”

  He’s a dick. I don’t know why Emmy thinks the world of this guy. Brother or not.

  “We aren’t starting our relationship out with lies.” Emmy grits her teeth.

  Levi looks between us for a few seconds. “Clearly something shady is happening right now. You look guilty as shit and Jake, well, he looks fucking clueless.”

  “Fuck off, Levi,” Emmy spits.

  This guy is really pissing me off.

  The tool just smiles. He’s clearly enjoying this.

  “Something isn’t right here. What is it? I’ve been curious about the two of you from the start. What … is … it.” He steeples his fingers and brings them to his mouth. His eyes ping-pong between us as he tries to work things out.

  It takes mere seconds, but it feels like years. Centuries.

  “Shit.” He leans back in his seat, his mouth wide, palms pressed to his temples. He’s figured it out. “This thing between the two of you, it’s not real, is it?”

  Emmy’s shoulders sag at Levi’s revelation but he doesn’t notice.

  “I knew it. I knew something wasn’t right.”

  Emmy squeaks, “How?”

  “Simple, Jake didn’t know jack-squat about you and … damn. I knew it.” He lets out a little chuckle to himself.

  My anger simmers for a second and then annoyance replaces it. We did a fan-fucking-tastic job selling the whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing.

  “Oh god, so what if I didn’t know she plays Digibot Go?” I grumble and roll my eyes.

  Levi just ignores me.

  “Well, look at that, little sister. Seems like you still care very much about what this life you keep running from thinks of you.”

  Emmy stands in the middle of the room. She’s trying to regain some of her composure, but I can tell by the tension in her shoulders that she’s fighting to stand tall.

  When she doesn’t answer, he continues, “Tell me, Ems, what’s in it for him? Surely not money, since you’ve got none. What is it then? Sex? You paying him with sex?” His words are like venom and she flinches.

  I’ve had enough.

  I stand from the couch, point a menacing finger and glare in his direction. “Don’t you dare speak to her like that again.”

  He has enough common sense to recognize that he has taken it too far. He curses under his breath. “Emmy, shit. I’m sorry.” He at least looks remorseful.

  Emmy nods to Levi. She has unshed tears in her eyes when she finally makes eye contact with me. I stop in front of her, too mad to really comfort her.

  “Looks like you have some explaining to do. I’m not doing it here with an audience. So, let’s go.” I raise an eyebrow in challenge, but she just nods in agreement. I don’t bother grabbing her hand as I head for the door. I also don’t bother with any pleasantries on my way out of the house.

  I pull out my phone to order an Uber. Looks like we’ve got a seven-minute wait.

  By the time I slide my phone back into my pocket, Emmy joins me on the steps. I stand at the bottom of them, she sits a few rows up.

  “Jake, I’m so sorry for what happened in there.” She brings her arms up around her middle, hugging herself.

  “What the fuck, Emmy? What haven’t you been telling me?” I growl but just then the front door opens.

  An older couple descend the stairs, I assume to leave. I realize the last thing I want to do is have this conversation in front of gossiping assholes.

  “I guess I haven’t been completely honest with you,” she mutters but watches the couple walk to their car.

  “I don’t want to talk about this here.”

  She nods in agreement and I stay where I’m at. I need some space. I’m drawn to her like a moth to a flame, I want to comfort her and tell her it doesn’t matter that Levi knows about our arrangement. But I can’t because she’s been lying to me. Too bad I don’t date liars.

  Nearly an hou
r later, after one of the longest car rides ever, the car pulls up in front of 425 Madison.

  “Are you coming up?” Her hand is on the door handle and I can’t tell in the dark, shadowed car if she wants me to or not. What I do know is that I need to know what the hell she’s hiding from me and I need to know tonight.

  All I can give her is a yes, and then I follow her out of the car. Several long, tense minutes later, Emmy and I enter her dark and empty apartment.

  “Where’s Becca?” I can’t help but look over at the Skee-Ball machine. I think about how I’d much rather play a few rounds of that than have the conversation we are about to have.

  “She’s visiting her cousin for the weekend.” She tosses her purse on the table and leans down to take off her heels.

  I force myself to look away. I so badly wish we were up here to do something more enjoyable. Skee-Ball sure, but I’ve had to stare at those sexy legs and that hot-as-hell mouth all night. And I want to touch, and I want to taste. I want it all. But I can’t want it all if there’s something she’s keeping from me. All those things I want, all the sexual fantasies that have been stacking up will never happen if I don’t know the real Emmy King.

  She walks over to the couch and plops down. She’s barefoot and still dressed in her shimmery pink outfit. “Sit, please?” Her eyes are remorseful, and I’m drawn to her, even through my anger and confusion. So, I sit on the couch. As far away from her as I can.

  “I’m really sorry about what happened tonight, about how the conversation with Levi turned out.” She hesitates but doesn’t continue.

  “I want to know what you walked away from. I want to know about why you really don’t get along with your family.” I cross my arms and lean back, waiting for answers.

  She gulps and then takes a deep breath, readying herself to give her explanation. “When I graduated college, I walked away from my family’s money, my trust fund.”

  I process that and then ask, “What do you mean you walked away?”

  “I mean, I never accessed my trust when I turned twenty-five. I opted out of joining the family business so I could live by my own terms. Because of that, I no longer have access to my parents’ money.”