Say You Want Me

by Van Mol, Stefanie

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  About the Author

  Acknowledgments

  Say You Want Me

  Full Moon series, Book 1

  Cover Design: Danielle Dickson at Vixen Designs

  Copy editor : Stormy Nights Publishing + Jen Minkman

  Interior Formatting: Abigail Davies at Pink Elephant Designs

  ISBN : 9789082688115

  All rights reserved. No parts of the book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission from the author, except for inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, establishments, organizations, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously to give a sense of authenticity. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Sweet little princess,

  this book is for you.

  You are my miracle baby.

  Always be yourself.

  I love you, more than words can say.

  Camille

  The cool sea breeze blows my long, black hair over my shoulders. I stick my nose in the air and breathe in the unique, unmistakable fragrance. Some things never change, and the effect of the sea air is one of those things. The soft rushing of the sea is like music to my ears. I still can’t believe that we’re here. For over a year, Karen and I have been looking forward to this moment. And now it’s finally here. I’m scared to death and excited at the same time.

  From down the hall I hear Karen yell to me, “A little help would be nice!”

  I close the sliding window and run toward her. She’s engaged in a fight with her suitcase, and it appears the suitcase is winning. Why did she bring so much stuff? Unbelievable that a tiny young woman like her needs so much stuff. Once I get to her, we pull the suitcase onto the bed and land next to it.

  “I cannot believe we made it.”

  Karen smiles at me. “I told you we would. Didn’t I?”

  I still remember when Karen first told me her idea. She wanted to spend our last summer before college together on vacation. Her parents have an apartment by the sea that they barely use.

  I thought it was a great idea, but as always my dad didn’t. He had all these worst-case scenarios in his head, of what was going to happen to his little girl. He didn’t think two young girls like us were able to take care of themselves. Thank God Karen’s parents talked him out of that idea. They promised there’d be no problems. I’m so glad he didn’t find out Karen and I planned all of this or he’d have never let me leave. And now here we are. Freedom at last!

  Tonight, Karen and I are going to a rock concert in town. Can you believe it? Me, Camille Van Damme, going to a rock concert. And not just any rock concert. Tonight, we are going to the Full Moon concert. I’m sure the name doesn’t ring any bells, but tonight will be the first time in over five years I get to see him.

  I wonder if he still looks the same. Will he still be like he is in my memory? Or will he look different? Will he recognize me? So many questions go through my head, and I can only hope that tonight I will get all the answers.

  Jonathan, the drummer of Full Moon, used to be my neighbor. Although just ‘neighbor’ isn’t enough to describe him. He was so much more than just my neighbor. He was my best friend, the first boy who kissed me, the first boy I fell head over heels in love with. We used to play pranks on each other all the time, and in school we were inseparable.

  Even at a young age, Jonathan’s passion was always his music, his drums. So when his father gave him an ultimatum — his family or his music — he packed his bags and left. I still remember his last words.

  * * *

  My cellphone buzzes with Jonathan’s ringtone. I run to my phone as fast as I can. When Jonathan texts me, we’re always in for an adventure.

  Jonathan: Meet me at our place.

  As soon as I read his text I’m on high alert. Without thinking I put on my sweater and run to the playground down our street. Jonathan is already sitting on our bench when I arrive. From a distance I observe him. He’s leaning with his elbows on his legs, his face buried in his hands. His entire body is tense, and I know I’m not going to like what he has to say.

  I take a seat next to him. That’s when I notice the suitcase next to the bench.

  “Why is your suitcase here?” I look at him, worried. “Are you going on a trip?”

  He looks up at me with bloodshot eyes. Has he been crying? Jonathan never cries; he is without a doubt the toughest guy I know. When he keeps looking at me but doesn’t say anything, I gently lay my hand on his thigh.

  As soon as I make contact, he jumps up from the bench and starts to nervously pace in front of me. Why is he reacting this way? It’s not the first time I’ve touched him like that. Maybe he knows? What if somebody told him? Is he afraid of me because he finally figured out I’m in love with him?

  “Camille, this will be the last time you see me.”

  What?

  “Jonathan, what’s going on? If this is about me and my cru..”

  “It has nothing to do with you,” he interrupts me. “My dad found out that I didn’t sign up for med school. He’s making me choose between my family and my music.”

  “Oh my God, that’s horrible!”

  He looks at me with a sad expression on his face. “I have to choose music, Camille. You understand that, right?”

  “Of course, Jonathan, you’ve always got my support.”

  He smiles at me, a lonely tear rolls down his cheek. It takes every ounce of strength I’ve got not to wipe it away with my thumb. I don’t understand; did he really think I wouldn’t support him? I don’t know much about music, and I may be totally prejudiced, but Jonathan is the most talented drummer of all time.

  “That means I’ll leave tonight, Camille. I don’t know where I’ll go, but I have to follow my passion, my dream of becoming a successful drummer.”

  I stare at him in silence. It won’t be easy, but we don’t have any other choice.

  “Okay, give me half an hour, to get my suitcase ready.”

  “What?” he asks, surprised. “Would you come with me?”

  What kind of question is that—I would follow him anywhere.

  “Of course, Jonathan. Wait here for me, I’ll be right back.”

  I get up from the bench, but before I can walk away, Jonathan is standing in front of me. His face is only a few inches away from mine. He runs his hand through my hair, and he pulls me so close I can feel his hot breath on my lips. I must be dreaming, because I think he’s going to kiss me. When his soft lips touch mine, I melt into his touch.

  I’ve waited for this moment for so long.

  In one hundred thousand ways I’ve experienced this moment, in my wildest dreams. But not once could I have imagined how perfect this moment would be. When I sigh, he takes advantage of my parted lips. He licks my lips, and I grant him access. He doesn’t hesitate and his tongue dives in, and our tongues are entwined in an erotic dance. A single mantra repeats over and over inside my head a hundred times: Jonathan’s kissing me, Jonathan’s kissing me, Jonathan�
��s kissing ME.

  When the kiss ends, I’m still in a daze. I cannot believe I just received my first kiss of all time, and I got to share that moment with Jonathan.

  Can my life get any better than this?

  When I look up, I see the sad expression in his eyes.

  “I can’t let you come with me, Camille.”

  Huh? What did he just say?

  “But, Jonathan…”

  His hand goes through my hair again, and he pulls me closer, until my nose touches his. “I can't do that to you, Camille. I don’t want you to leave your family for me. I just can’t.”

  His lips touch mine one last time before he lets go of me. He grabs his suitcase, looks at me one more time and says: “Goodbye, Camille.”

  * * *

  There is never a day that goes by when I don’t think of Jonathan. I imagine what it would have been like to come with him. Would he still have become a famous musician? Would his band have been this well-known? Or would I have been in the way? What would have become of me?

  Once I realized he was the drummer of Full Moon I followed his career. He’s grown up now, but I would still recognize him in a crowd of hundreds. He didn’t used to have the muscles and tattoos, but those deep green eyes, the ones that can fathom you with just one look—he still has those.

  Why am I making myself nervous? The chances of him seeing me at the concert are non-existent. As opposed to him, I did change. There’ll be thousands of people at the concert. But nobody will keep me away tonight.

  “So, where do we begin?” I ask, curious.

  Karen laughs, and her eyes begin to sparkle. I know from experience that those sparkles are very dangerous. They usually spell out naughtiness.

  “We still have a few hours before the concert, so we’re going to give you a long-needed makeover. No one will recognize you by the time I’m done with you.”

  I groan loudly. See? That sparkle in Karen’s eyes is never a good thing.

  For years Karen has been trying to change my looks. I realize I’m not exactly a poster girl for the latest fashion, but I like my everyday look. I’m not the type of girl to want to stand in the spotlights, but that’s exactly what Karen wants.

  “Come on, Camille,” she encourages me. “My parents made sure you could come on this trip with me, now it’s time you repay the favor.”

  “Fine,” I say in surrender. “But this is the last time during our trip that you can use that as an excuse.”

  That same sparkle appears in Karen’s eyes, and I realize I’m so going to regret this!

  But hey, here we go, right?

  * * *

  I look in disbelief at my best friend.

  “Karen, you do realize my father is going to kill me if he sees me like this?”

  How could she think this was a good idea? And why do I always let myself be persuaded by her? It wouldn’t be the first time I got into trouble because of one of Karen’s fantastic ideas. Karen has a true gift. She has the gift of getting me in trouble. Because for some reason she always manages to stay out of the crosshairs.

  “Come on, Camille, your father will never find out. He’s convinced that my parents are watching over us, remember?”

  I stare at my reflection in the mirror, but I still can’t quite believe it’s me. Karen didn’t lie when she said she’d make sure no one would recognize me. The outfit she put together is the perfect outfit for a rock concert. I wouldn’t know, because I’ve never been to one, but the Camille who looks back at me from the mirror looks so different that I’m sure not even my own father would recognize me.

  My favorite baggy jeans have been replaced by tight, black leather pants. At first it looked really uncomfortable, but as soon as I put them on, they felt like a second skin. I never expected them to be so soft. The top Karen chose for me is strapless and studded with small, sparkly gemstones. It’s the first time I’ve put on a garment that fits so tightly, and I’m not sure whether I’m brave enough. Karen hands me a pair of her sneakers and a leather vest to complete the outfit.

  My long, black hair — which I usually wear in a messy bun — is now loose and blow-dried into big curls. It may seem like a small change, but for me it’s as different as night is to day. Because of the make-up Karen applied, all my freckles are gone. I see Karen’s reflection behind me in the mirror as she hands me a pair of earrings. I carefully put them on. A few black feathers hang from the small hoops.

  “You look beautiful,” she says proudly.

  “I don’t think anyone will recognize me,” I say, a bit overwhelmed. “I hardly recognize myself.”

  I pull Karen gently against me in a hug. Sometimes I wish I could tell Karen how much she means to me. I think sometimes she doesn’t know just how much I owe her. She’s always there for me, especially now that she and her parents saved me from my strict father.

  You have no idea how long Karen and I have been looking forward to this summer. We came up with a plan to see Jonathan again. As a Christmas gift I gave Karen a pair of tickets for the Full Moon moment. Off course Karen insisted that I accompany her. The only problem, as usual, was my father. Since my mother’s death, he hardly lets me leave the house. He is terrified of losing his only daughter.

  Sure, I understand where he’s coming from, but what teenager wouldn’t want to go to a rock concert? I squirm in my seat when I think of him finding out, but I really want to go. My curiosity is bigger than my fear. For the first time in my life, I want to feel that I’m really alive.

  Karen’s right: what are the odds of my father ever finding out? Thank God Karen’s parents convinced him to let me go on this trip. They always saw me as their second daughter, and they always thought it was time for me to live my life.

  The ringing of the doorbell shakes me from my daydream. I hear Karen’s footsteps going toward the door. The pizza delivery guy checks out Karen’s cleavage before accepting the money. By now I’m used to guys checking Karen out, even though she seems oblivious to the fact. Sometimes I wish guys would look at me like that. I would do just about anything to watch heat flame in a boy’s eyes just by looking at me. Making him look at me, like I’m the best present in the world.

  Just like Jonathan looked at me just before he left me behind.

  I shake my head. If I want to enjoy this vacation, I need to stop thinking about the moment my heart broke for the first time.

  I try to focus on the real reason why I’m here. At the end of this vacation, I’m leaving for college. There I’m going to pursue my dream of becoming a lawyer. Thank God my father agreed to let me live on campus. When he first found out about my idea, he was not amused. But thanks to Karen’s parents, he’s come to terms with it. Karen and I will share a dorm room. That’s one of the many demands my father had. He went with us to check out the room and the environment. But eventually, after hours of nagging about it, he agreed.

  The delicious smell of fresh pizza wafts into my nostrils, and my stomach growls. I’m so nervous I’ve hardly eaten anything all day, and right now my stomach makes clear to me that it’s hungry.

  “That smells delicious.”

  Karen takes a slice of pizza and bites into the tip . “It doesn’t just smell good, it tastes delicious too.”

  I take a seat next to Karen on the sofa and grab a slice of pizza. The first bite hits me full force, and I groan with delight. Karen is right: this is delicious. One of the best pizzas I ever had.

  “What time are we leaving for the concert?” I ask curiously.

  “I suggest we go and have a drink first, before the concert.”

  The way she says it makes you think it’s no big deal, but I never once went to a bar with her, so I’m kind of shocked.

  She must have clearly seen the startled look on my face as she quickly continues: “Before you even say it’s a bad idea, I’ve been looking forward to this day for years, so please will you just let go, for once?” She looks at me, pleading with her eyes. “Don’t you trust me?”

 
Well, how can you say no to that? Karen has always been there for me. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?

  * * *

  We enter a small but cozy bar. My stomach flips at the thought of this night. I hope Karen realizes this is all brand new for me and that I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. She takes my hand and squeezes it to reassure me. She drags me across the room to an empty table near the wall.

  The waiter comes to our table and checks out Karen with the same look the pizza guy gave her earlier. It makes me laugh, because I know Karen doesn’t register it. We order our drinks, and as soon as the waiter leaves Karen looks at me, her eyes bright and shining.

  “Who would have thought I’d live to see this day?” she says cheerfully. “We’re going to have so much fun tonight.”

  I smile and realize she’s right. This is the first out of many nights we will have during this summer. I wasn’t under the illusion I was going to be free once I’d go to college. My dad knows this world, and I’m pretty sure he has enough of his acquaintances keeping an eye on me for him.

  The waiter returns with our cocktails. It’s orange, and all of a sudden I wonder if this is a good idea. I’ve never drunk a cocktail before, and I don’t want to miss anything tonight, at the concert. Karen raises her glass, and we make a toast to our first night of vacation. I raise the glass to my lips and take a first, careful sip. To my surprise, it tastes very sweet. Karen drinks greedily from her glass, and even before I’ve had a few sips, her glass is almost half-empty. It’s clear she’s had way more practice at this than I have.