Never a Saint (Polished P & P Book 2)

by Lila Rose

  He wasn’t making sense.

  Maybe if I pretended to be asleep before he got back, he’d leave.

  That was a stupid idea; it’d also look weird.

  Before I could do anything, Saint was back in the room with a drink in each hand. Of course he was still smirking. Jesus, I wanted to yell at him to quit it. He handed one to me and then sat back on the bed. I watched him take a sip of his drink before eyeing the TV.

  This was stranger than the sucking-off situation.

  “Kylo,” he said, his tone neutral.

  “Yeah?” I asked and looked at him.

  “Why the fuck are we watching this kids’ show?”

  I swung my gaze back to the TV, and it penetrated what I’d left it on. Some fucked-up costumed things that didn’t even talk.

  “This just came on. Somethin’ else was on first,” I said and changed the channel. I stopped on a basketball game. We stayed silent and watched it for a bit while sipping our drinks.

  It wasn’t bad just chilling in my room with Saint… except for the fact I’d just sucked his dick again and he’d made me come—hard—and I couldn’t stop thinking about it, but I needed to because we couldn’t make it a regular thing. Saint would soon understand just what he’d been doing, and then he’d be a normal straight guy and freak out before getting out of there. Then it’d be awkward between us at work and the compound. Great.

  Saint put his glass on the bedside table and got off the bed. He went to his clothes and started to dress, all while watching me. I felt his gaze burning into me even though I kept mine on the TV. Finally, he was acting normal.

  “Kylo,” he called. I looked to him as he walked back to where he’d left his phone. Then he had my eyes again. He put a knee to the bed, leaned over, and pressed his lips to my shoulder.

  “Night,” he said, and looked up at me.

  I cleared my thick throat.

  He’d kissed my shoulder.

  My skin.

  “Yeah, night.” I nodded. He grinned, straightened, and walked from the room.

  What the hell was that all about?

  Why did he do that?

  This was fucking weird. Saint made no sense. I scrubbed a hand over my face.

  I hadn’t expected the first time he’d agreed for me to give him head, but then it happened a second time, and he’d had his hand in my boxers, wrapped around my dick. Then he kissed my shoulder.

  That was intimate.

  Right, I was going to have to get him out of my head, away from my body, and when I had to, we’d speak like boss and employee.

  His ride started up out the front. I went to leap off the bed but locked my body down. It was strange that I suddenly thought that I didn’t want him to go. I shook my head. I did want him to go. I did. He had to.

  I groaned and shook my head. I got off the bed and went to have another shower. I’d push him in the back of my mind and concentrate on work, both at the compound and for Polished.

  I would have believed myself more if I didn’t masturbate in the damn shower over the vision of Saint jacking me off. Only that time, he would dip his head and kiss me like he wanted to make me his. I would have believed myself if I hadn’t cried his name at the end.

  Fuck me. It was going to be hard being around him and trying to forget what just happened between us.

  He’d kissed my shoulder.

  He was acting so damn weird.

  And it sucked that I kind of liked it. I wished I didn’t.

  Fuck me. I was screwed.

  Chapter Six

  Saint

  A month after going back to Kylo’s, I walked into the compound common room whistling. The other nights I’d been here, Kylo hadn’t been working the bar. That night, I knew he was, and I needed my fix of seeing him. I wasn’t stupid; he’d been dodging me because no doubt he was worried about my actions. What helped him keep his distance was that I’d been a fuckton busy. Hell, I hadn’t even gotten laid in ages. Still, I’d been in a good mood ever since that night because it’d been damn fun to see Kylo squirm with his thoughts, actions and, maybe, feelings. I could tell he thought I was going to run from the room after making him come in his boxers and over my hand. Then, when I didn’t, he didn’t know how to act or what to say.

  It goddamn entertained me so much.

  I also enjoyed just sitting there with him, having a drink. It didn’t matter we didn’t talk. I liked being around him. And since that time in his bedroom, he kept popping up in my thoughts. Hell, it was making me feel good, so I was going to run with it. I was sure Kylo didn’t mind finding release, even by my hand; he’d probably want to do it again.

  I hoped.

  “Hey, Saint.” Death waved me over from the bar. I headed that way and greeted other brothers when they called out to me. My smile ticked up even more when I saw Kylo behind the bar. However, he hadn’t moved since Death called out my name. He was looking down at something and standing still. We’d seen each other every week at work, but I’d always had someone else in the office when he’d come in, which was why I was there that night. So I could pay better attention to him. That and catching up with the brothers.

  Then Torch called him from the other end of the bar and Kylo jerked into action, heading down there to get him a drink.

  I clasped Death on the shoulder and said, “What’s happenin’, brother?”

  “Same old.” He lifted a chin Kylo’s way. “Still can’t believe the prospect’s action on the file. Said it before, but I’ll say it again, that kid has skills.”

  I grinned. He sure did have skills, only I was thinking of different ones. I’d also watched the video quite a few times, in fact. “Agreed, he sure can butter someone up sweetly. That client’s asked for him twice more and put her friends onto him as well.”

  Death chuckled. “Great for business.”

  “Hell yes, all the new employees have done well.” I sat down on the stool next to him just as Bethy arrived at my side. She curled her arm around my shoulders and kissed my cheek. I heard something smash at the other end of the bar and glanced over. Kylo was burning red as he started picking some glass up from the floor.

  “What’s up with him?” I asked Death, even though I knew it was from my entrance. Shit, it was funny and sweet at the same time.

  Death shrugged. “Accident?”

  “Probably.”

  Death yelled, “Comes outta your pay, prospect.”

  Kylo waved him off, taking note, but got back to work getting another drink.

  Bethy’s other hand slid to my stomach. I caught her eyes and grabbed her hand. “Not now, honey.”

  She pouted. “But, baby….”

  I winked. “Maybe later, yeah. If you haven’t got another brother goin’, that is.”

  She giggled. “We’ll have to wait and see.” She kissed my cheek and walked off, swaying her hips.

  Bethy, like most women here, were club sluts. They were at the compound to party and fuck, and that was it. Okay, there were some who wanted to find an old man in the brotherhood, but we were smart enough not to join ourselves with a club slut because all they were after was the biker life. Not something real.

  It was good to have them around when we wanted a wet hole to sink into, but I wasn’t into a relationship with a woman who had fucked all the other single, and some married, brothers.

  “Not feelin’ it tonight?” Death asked when she was out of earshot.

  “Nah, brother. Well, not Bethy anyway.” I didn’t dare look down the bar at Kylo because Death picked up on a lot of shit before it even registered in the person actually doing it. But yeah, I was in the mood for Kylo’s mouth once again. It’d been too damn long, and while the game of Kylo avoiding me was fun, I wanted to be around him more. I was ready to chase. Christ, my dick was so eager it jerked in my pants as if in search of my desires. Smiling, I asked, “What about you?” to get my mind off him.

  He snorted. “Brother, you know I don’t go near the bunnies around here.” />
  Yeah, I did, but my mind had been on someone, and I’d forgot for a moment. Death preferred his women away from the compound. His tastes were flight attendants, bankers, lawyers, hell, anything that could challenge him and not be an easy piece of ass.

  “Yeah, I remember.”

  “Who’s at the club tonight?”

  “State.”

  “Did you hear about what happened to him a couple of days ago?” Death asked.

  I nodded. “Yeah, fuckin’ stupid pigs.” State had been out on a date with the woman he was chasing, and the cops busted it up by arresting him on a charge of murder, which was all crap. It was lucky we had a good lawyer on the payroll. However, we hadn’t needed to call our lawyer since State’s woman had got one of the best in town, with the help of her parents, and sent them quickly to attend State. I could see good things happening for State and Courtney.

  Kylo stopped in front of us. He gave us a chin lift. “Get you two anythin’?”

  “Another beer,” Death said.

  “I’ll have a whiskey.” I grinned.

  He paused for a beat and then got to getting our drinks. Yeah, he was thinking about what happened in his bedroom—didn’t matter that a month had passed. Would he be hard? Had he enjoyed it as much as I did? Or was he still in his freak-out mode where whatever I did was throwing him off his usual game?

  As he got our drinks, I turned to Death and asked him, “How’s business goin’?”

  “Busy, always fuckin’ busy. We’re a bit run off our feet after openin’ the new brothels as well as another butcher shop.”

  “Thought there’d be enough brothers with experience to help out?”

  “Yeah, but I might eventually look into more, but then again, there’s more work involved with trainin’ them up.” He grabbed the beer Kylo held out. Death went on talking about something, but I watched as Kylo placed my drink down on the bar. Before he could move his hand away, I reached out and ran my fingers over his. I caught his jolt out of the corner of my eyes and felt him pull his hand away quickly as I nodded to Death.

  “Maybe we should look at sellin’ the butcher places, and we’d have more brothers for the security side of things. Be better than employin’ outsiders.”

  Death thought for a moment, then shrugged. “Somethin’ to think about.”

  I nodded and sensed Kylo move back down the bar.

  “Saint” was cooed from my other side. I turned and found Lee, another club girl. She ran her hand over my back. “How you doin’, baby?”

  “Real good, darlin’, but busy talkin’ with my brother.” I smacked her on the ass. “Might catch ya later.”

  She smiled sultrily. “You got it.” Then she walked away, knowing not to approach Death since he’d set all the women straight at the beginning. If we got new girls, he’d tell them the same thing—he wasn’t interested.

  Me? I wasn’t in the mood to taste female that night. I had an urge for one person only, and he was doing everything he could to avoid me. That’d change by the end of the night.

  I wasn’t being cocky. He wouldn’t have offered to suck me off if he wasn’t interested in me, even in a small way. He just didn’t know how to take me and my sudden change. Fuck, I didn’t know how to take myself, but I was going along with it because I enjoyed the way Kylo could make me feel. Christ, I hadn’t felt giddy in the gut in a fucking long time.

  Maybe it was the thrill of the secret or trying something new… but I reckoned it had something to do with the man himself. Thinking back, when he’d first started tagging along with Boom, before he became a prospect, I’d enjoyed listening to him and watching him because I could never anticipate what he’d do or say. He was open, like the shit he’d blurted about liking Lucas, my brother. It was also the time that Wreck had him against the wall for saying something stupid.

  Wait, did he just do shit with me because of Lucas? My brother and I didn’t look much alike. I was more like our old man, taller, wider, gruffer than our sweet and short mother, except for the blond hair.

  Christ, I wasn’t thinking of that now. I wasn’t comparing or competing against Lucas, not when Kylo knew Lucas was out of the picture because of Wreck. Hell, if he still had a thing for Lucas, it’d be stupid. Kylo knew Wreck would kick his ass.

  I didn’t want to think. I didn’t want to worry. I just wanted to enjoy, and I fucking would because I was a greedy prick.

  Some other brothers joined Death and me, and we talked about random shit—our rides, traveling, business, the club. I’d always loved to come to the compound to catch up with everyone. There were some brothers I didn’t care for, but hell, our club was big, and I didn’t have to face them most of the time.

  Like Duck. He’d been a member until he’d gone against Lucas and Wreck the night Lucas had been here as Wreck’s guy for the first time. Not all could respect the connection Lucas and Wreck had—some found it disgusting and wrong. Duck was stupid enough to voice his repulsion, and he paid for it. Country, our club president, didn’t like bigotry of any kind. He kicked Duck out, and it showed the other brothers what not to do when it came to the members loving who they wanted.

  I’d always known my brother was gay, not that he’d told us until recently, but it didn’t matter to me. He was Lucas, and there was nothing wrong with my brother because he loved a man. Hell, I’d never admit it to them, but I was damn happy to see them all loved up and lost in each other. In a way, I was jealous. I wanted that for me, just not yet.

  I liked having fun and playing, but one day I’d settle down. Only I wasn’t sure if it’d be with a woman or a man now. My head and heart hadn’t worked out what I preferred just yet since I’d only gotten a taste of having a guy.

  It was strange I’d switched up. That I’d even be thinking of a guy in my life, and it’d happened after one blow job from Kylo. But I’d go with it. There was no denying the way I craved more from him. I’d been picturing taking his mouth in a hard and hot kiss. Though, I wanted more from Kylo than just his mouth.

  While the others were talking, I glanced down the other end where Kylo was. I tensed, locked my jaw, and narrowed my eyes.

  He was leaning into the bar with his elbows resting on top of it, laughing at something Dusty said. She was another club girl, a newer one, and a favorite to flirt with because she was shy and didn’t just sleep with anyone. She was pickier about who she went to bed with, and we’d let her be since she was also young. Only nineteen. As far as I knew, she’d only been with Country a couple of times when he got rid of Isla, since he found her making out with another member.

  I didn’t like seeing her with Kylo, though.

  A ripple of surprise spread through me, and I smiled. Yeah, I was into the guy, and it took me getting head to wake me up to the possibility of him.

  Only the smile dropped when Dusty reached out and tapped her fist into his arm with a playful punch and a cute smile. Kylo grinned and winked before saying something that had Dusty blushing.

  I looked away and checked out some other brothers—thinking if Kylo could get me hard from looking at him, maybe some other guy would as well.

  Nothing happened though.

  I’d admit there were a lot of good-looking brothers, but none of them got my pulse racing like Kylo did when I pictured just his face and body.

  When I heard laughter again from the other end, I got up off my stool and strode down that way.

  “Whiskey, prospect,” I ordered roughly and stopped by Dusty. Kylo nodded and got my drink. I turned to Dusty and smiled. Only it mustn’t have been a good one because her brows dipped. “Hey, girl. Can you give us a second?”

  “Uh, sure, of course, Saint.”

  “Thanks, babycakes.” I winked. Dusty gave me one last unsure gaze before scooting off somewhere.

  A glass dropped to the bar, whiskey sloshed over the edges, but I just grinned and picked it up, taking a sip. Kylo glared and went to walk off, but I said, “Here. Now, Kylo,” I demanded roughly but quietly.
/>   He froze, then came unstuck and turned back to me.

  I twisted the glass on the counter while I watched him. When I didn’t say anything, he made a noise of annoyance in the back of his throat. I smirked. “How you been?”

  He ground his teeth. “Good.”

  “Been wonderin’, how come you never prospected in until you were twenty-two?”

  He studied me for a moment before saying, “Boom wanted me to be completely sure this was what I wanted. Even when I’d told him it was, he got me to hold off for a bit longer. I think it was also for Wendy’s sake, so she could get used to it. She’s always worried about the shit we deal with from the cops and other clubs.”

  “She’s a good woman.”

  He nodded. “Yeah, she is.”

  I hummed under my breath, and just to have a conversation, I asked, “We haven’t had a chat about work. Been busy. Just wanted to know how it’s goin’?” I’d been keeping him with older women who were just after some eye candy to show off for the night. Kylo was eye candy, and the women were lapping him up and asking for more.

  He shrugged. “Nothin’ new, but you know that.”

  “You helpin’ Lucas and Wreck tomorrow to move in?” I asked instead.

  “Yeah.” His brows dinted in the middle. “All of this you could have said in front of Dusty. Why’d you send her away?”

  It was my turn to shrug. “Didn’t want her around.”

  He scoffed. “You didn’t mind the other two around you.”

  I grinned like a cat who got the cream. He’d been jealous. He went back to glaring. I took a sip before saying, “They were just bein’ friendly and greetin’ me.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Sure. And that’s why I heard you sayin’ you’d catch them later.”

  When I ran my tongue over my bottom lip, I saw his eyes following. “You jealous, Kylo?”

  He sucked in a sharp breath and then forced a laugh. “What the fuck! No.”