Hard to Resist

by Lauren Landish

  “It'll take a while, but get back involved in your studies and try your best to stop thinking about Zane. I’ll even do whatever it takes to help you keep your mind off him. After a while, it’ll be easy.”

  Katie’s being overly optimistic. The guy lives next door and we’re stuck in our lease for the rest of the year. How the hell am I going to stop thinking about him when I can look through my bedroom window and he’s right there?

  “You’ll find someone else somewhere along the line in the future, someone who loves you and that’ll treat you right.”

  I can’t take it. I break down and start sobbing. I feel Katie’s arms wrap around me a second later.

  “Shh,” she coos. “Everything’s going to be alright.” She comforts me. It feels good to be held. I just feel so damn alone without him.

  When I finally stop sobbing she says, “Come on girl. Pull yourself together. We got class in the next thirty minutes. That jerk-off is not about to ruin you like Zach did. Just be happy that you found out what you did before the relationship went any further.”

  After Katie’s sure I’m okay, we take off to school. When we arrive, I’m a cauldron of bubbling emotions I can hardly contain.

  I don’t know why I agreed to come to class today, I think to myself as Katie pulls in between two trucks on the west side of the parking lot. I’m a total mess.

  Katie gathers her books and begins to get out, but pauses when she sees I’m not budging. “What are you doing?”

  “Sitting here,” I say, trying to hold back tears.

  Katie frowns. “Aren’t you going to get out?”

  “In a minute.”

  Katie opens her mouth to protest but I sharply say, “Katie, not now. Please. I need a moment to collect myself.”

  Katie stares at me long and hard. “Fine,” she says reluctantly. “But don’t stay in here too long. You’ll just be making it worse.” She climbs out of the car. Before she shuts the door she adds, “I’ll be sending you a text to check on you. Answer it. And I’m taking the keys.”

  Then she walks off and I watch her for a moment before breaking down into tears. Luckily, this crying fit only lasts a few minutes, and after a few sobs, I’m able to pull myself together.

  One day it’ll stop hurting. I know it will. I just need to live through the pain and it’ll go away. One day.

  I gather my books and then check my makeup in the mirror. My mascara is all runny and smudged. I quickly fix it and then step out of the car. I’m about to round the car when I hear the sound of running footsteps.

  Before I can turn around, rough powerful hands clamp down on my mouth. I try to scream, but there's a rag pressed to my face. I try to shake the hands off of me. I inhale deeply, and then belatedly realize I need to hold my breath. The rag is obviously laced with something to knock me out. Fuck! I struggle against the man. Or is it men? But my body feels weak. I’m losing control of my limbs.

  Then I go unconscious.

  Chapter 23

  Madeline

  I come to with my hair in my face. When I try to push it out of the way, I realize that my arms are pinned behind my back. I groan. I feel sore all over. Slowly, I open my eyes and experience a jolt of shock.

  This can’t be happening.

  Though I’m bent forward with my hair in my face, I'm able to distinguish my surroundings. I’m in a chair, in a dark room and it’s very quiet. Panicking, I struggle against my bonds, my fingers grazing against the rough material. Rope. Fuck! They tied me up. I pull harder, but I only succeed in burning my skin. It’s tied too tightly. Damn it! Tears flood my eyes. Nausea twists my stomach.

  Please tell me this is all just a dream.

  But it's real. Very fucking real.

  My mind is rushing with all sorts of doomsday thoughts. Who kidnapped me? Why was I kidnapped? And worse of all, what do they plan on doing with me? The latter thought terrifies me and chills my body.

  Is it because of Zane?

  I don’t want to believe it. Zane wouldn’t do something like this to me… would he? It's a scary thought. If it’s true, it means I never really knew him all along. I try not to despair.

  “Vlad, I have a gift for you,” a deep, familiar voice says, startling me. Up until that moment, I thought I was alone. I turn my head slightly to get a visual on who’s talking. My blood goes cold when I see who it is. Standing in a darkened corner is Garret with a phone pressed to his ear. He’s staring at me in a way that makes me want to writhe against my bonds and get the fuck out of here, but the fear is so strong that I’m paralyzed.

  “What do you think, boss, eh?” Garret asks on the phone. “She’s older than what you’re used to, but she’s just your type.” Garret laughs and then adds darkly, “The fighting kind.” He smiles, a sick and disgusting sight that turns my stomach.

  I can hear a voice on the other end and then silence, but Garret doesn’t respond and keeps staring at me with those dead, chilly eyes.

  I go dizzy with terror. “Zane!” I yell, tears streaming down my face. “Zane, please don’t let them hurt me!” I shake violently in my chair, struggling in vain to break free.

  Garret’s handsome face twists with rage and he walks over and backhands me in the face. I gasp with pain as my head whips to the side, and he snarls, “Shut up, you stupid bitch! That piece of shit ain’t coming to save your ass.”

  The taste of metallic blood fills my mouth as stinging pain shoots through my face. Fuck, that hurt.

  “Thanks to you, he’s good as fucking dead.” My heart stops beating. No. No!

  Garret gives me a wicked smile at the look of confused distress on my face. “Yeah that’s right, bitch. Zane is dead because of you.”

  “I-I-I didn’t do anything for Zane to deserve this,” I stammer. “Please don’t hurt him.

  “Lying whore!” Garret backhands me again and I cry out with pain. Hot fluid pours out of my nose. Blood. “You saw us unloading. Ain’t no way we’re gonna let you live after that.”

  “I won’t tell anyone!” I try to yell, but my mouth hurts so fucking bad. The small cuts sting, and I spit up blood. “I swear,” I say weakly as tears prick my eyes.

  Garret chuckles evilly. “No amount of begging or lying is gonna save you, cunt. If you didn’t want to end up like this, you should’ve never got involved with Zane.”

  I start sobbing incoherently. This isn’t fair. Not for me. Not for Zane. Not for anyone.

  I feel a hand touch my shoulder, and my heart nearly stops.

  Oh no. Oh God, no.

  Garret chuckles at my terror, guessing my worry. “Don’t worry, bitch. We’re not going to rape you... yet. I gotta wait for the boss and the camera so we can give Zane a nice parting gift.” His fingers touch my chin and I rip my head away. He smiles down at me as he says, “I want him to be able to watch.”

  “Fuck you!” I scream at the top of my lungs, no longer caring about what happens to me. At this point, I feel like I have nothing to lose. They’re not going to spare me, and I’m not going to give him the pleasure of seeing me beg for my life.

  Garret laughs at my rage. “We’ll see how much shit you’ll be able to talk when I have my dick in your mouth.”

  I sneer. “Fucking try it, and I’ll bite your dick off.”

  “Fucking cocky bitch!” Roaring with rage, Garret shoves me and my chair topples over backward. My head slams against the floor, and I see stars. Through the pain I smile, pleased I made the evil fucker mad.

  Garret lets out a snarl of frustration. “I can’t wait to fuck you, bitch,” he growls from somewhere above me. “You won’t be talking shit after I get done. You’ll be begging me to end your life.”

  As defiant as I’ve become in this predicament, I don’t offer a response because I’m filled with terror.

  When it’s obvious I have nothing else to say, he mutters something I can’t hear and leaves. I hear the sounds of footsteps, followed by a door closing. I’m left alone with my thoughts and the knowledge that I o
nly have minutes or possibly even hours left to live.

  Please God, help me! I plead within the depths of my mind. Please don’t let my life end in this way!

  But God is either deaf or not listening. The truth is, no one is coming to save me. Not Katie. Not Daddy, and definitely not Zane.

  I feel like there’s only one thing left to do.

  I close my eyes and pray for the end to come swiftly.

  Chapter 24

  Zane

  My chest hurts so fucking bad. It hasn’t stopped hurting since she came to my house the other day. I had to ignore her while she knocked on my door, but hearing her crying was like a knife to my heart. I wanna talk to her. I wanna explain everything. More than that, I wanna leave this life behind and take her away. But we’d have to run. We’d always be running.

  You can’t leave the mob.

  Fuck, I can’t handle it. But it’s for her own good. I know it is. I’ve been keeping an eye on her. Marky has, too. I can’t be around her all the time, and I trust him. He’d tell me if there was anything going on.

  I can’t sleep. Every time I hear a car pull up, I instantly think it’s someone coming to take her. I’ve dialed up Nikolai’s number at least a dozen times, but I never hit send. I need to know she’s gonna be alright, and she’s not on their list.

  He told me she’s alright. I have to believe him. I trust him.

  But at the same time, I don’t.

  And Marky’s still watching her when I can’t. Just in case.

  As if reading my mind, not ten minutes later I get a call. I stop working on the mock-up of the tat I’m doing later and calmly pick up my phone.

  I’m trying to keep the worrying down to a minimum. Every time he calls my heart rate picks up, and dread runs down my spine. But each time it’s always been to tell me she’s fine.

  I answer it and try keep my voice even, but before I can ask him about her, he’s yelling on the other end.

  “They got her.” My blood runs cold. “I wasn’t sure, Zane. I didn’t want to freak you out.” He’s talking rapid-fire, practically shouting, and it’s hard to hear. I stand up and pace the room as my body goes numb with fear. “I didn’t know what to do so I just watched, but it was them and they took her. I tried--”

  “Stop. Stop.” It can’t be true. My lungs refuse to fill. “Who has her?”

  “Garret. That fucker and two others. I wasn’t sure if it was him. It wasn’t till I was pulling in and they got out. I wasn’t fast enough. I followed them as fast as I could, but I lost them.”

  My blood races with adrenaline, anger takes over the fear. I’m gonna kill him. I’m gonna slice his fucking throat open.

  “Where?” I ask him as I try to keep my hand from tightening on the phone to the point where it feels like it’s going to break.

  “I followed them onto Washington and then they went past--”

  “Where?!” I scream into the phone. I’m barely able to breathe, my vision’s going white. I need to get there now. Right fucking now. Every second away from her is a second he could hurt her. Fuck, my heart sinks. He’s going to. I know he is.

  “I lost them going north on Market Street.” Market Street? What the fuck is on Market Street? I don’t know. I don’t know shit about the mob’s operations. Fuck!

  I hang up the phone and immediately dial Nikolai. I’ll fucking kill him. I’ll kill all of them.

  He answers the phone, and I don’t give him a second to give me his bullshit.

  “You lying motherfucker,” I seethe into the phone.

  “Whoa!” he yells on the other end, but I don’t stop. I’ll never stop.

  “You told me she was safe. You’re fucking dead.”

  “Zane!” he yells out.

  “All of you are dead.” I’ll start at the top and work my way down.

  “Zane! Who has her?” I pause in my oath to make all them suffer. I wasn’t expecting him to deny it. “Who has her?” he asks again, but I don’t answer. I don’t know if he’s bullshitting me. My body’s shaking with anger, and I’m not sure what to do. I don’t know if I believe him. I don’t know what to believe anymore.

  “It’s not us, Zane! I didn’t lie to you. Zane!” He’s quiet for a second. “Zane! Are you there?” He sounds panicked, and his voice is filled with concern.

  “You didn’t know?” I ask him while trying to calm myself down. A shred of relief goes through me. But only a shred. This will be easier if it’s just Garret. So much easier if I have Nikolai's backing.

  “It’s not us--”

  I cut him off. “Garret took her.”

  He’s quiet for a second. I let it sink in, but in my head I hear the tick tick tick of time passing.

  “Are you sure?” he asks.

  “Yes,” I’m quick to answer.

  “Do you know where?” he asks. My phone beeps, and I’m sure it’s Marky calling back. I pull the phone away from my ear and see I’m right. I ignore the call.

  “They went down Market, but that’s where we lost them.”

  “Give me her cell. They’re probably at the warehouse.” I rattle off her number and pace the room, feeling like a caged beast.

  “What’s the address?” I ask him. That’s all I need. Just the address, and I can go.

  “Hold on Zane, we need to know who’s there.”

  “We’ll find out when we get there.”

  “It only takes a minute, hold the fuck on,” he scolds me, and I can’t stand it. I need to move; I need to go to her.

  “Fuck!” he yells into the phone, and it stops me in my tracks.

  “What? What?” I ask him. Fear runs through me. Not Maddy. Please, fuck, don’t be about Maddy.

  “Vlad’s there.” His voice is hard and devoid of emotion.

  “Vlad and Garret?” I ask him. My head feels dizzy and I have to lean against the wall. Pain tears through my heart.

  “He’s fucking dead.” Nikolai’s voice is cold. I nod my head at his words.

  “How many others?” I ask him. He’s tracking their cells to locate them. I’ve seen him do it before. Thank fuck for Nikolai keeping me from going in with no plan.

  “I only see four of them. But there could be more.”

  “Do you have anyone?” I ask him. I can’t ask Needles or Marky to come with me. They aren’t trained for this shit. They wouldn’t know what to do.

  “Yeah, I do, but you need a vest, Zane.” I don’t fucking want to wait on a vest. “We have the element of surprise on our side. They won’t see us coming. But we need to be smart.” I don’t care about being smart or being prepared, I just need to get to her.

  “If I ever meant anything to you, you’ll help me keep her safe.”

  “Zane, I’m on your side.” He sighs into the phone and says, “We’ll get her back. I promise you.”

  My throat closes as other emotions take over, but I hold on to the anger. I picture what I’m gonna do to them when I get there. They’re dead. Every fucking one of them.

  “Garret’s mine.”

  “You need to be smart about this, Zane,” I hear Nikolai speaking, but I’m not listening. We’re close, so close to getting her back and keeping her safe.

  “You can’t go in there guns blazing,” he says. The fuck I can’t.

  “Nik,” I say as I look him square in his eyes, “If you think I can go in there and not put a bullet in every one of their skulls, you’ve lost your mind.”

  “That’s fine by me,” he replies as he keeps my gaze, “But we need to go in quietly.”

  My jaw clenches. “I don’t like it.” He wants me to sneak in and find her. He wants me to wait for his call. I’m not fucking waiting. If they’re in there… if they’re with her. My throat closes and my fists clench at the thought. “I’ll fucking kill them!” I slam my fist on the dash.

  Nik looks at me like he’s not sure what to do. “If it was up to me, Zane, you wouldn’t be going in,” he says quietly. “And you don't have to like it. But you need to respect my pl
an. I promised you we'd get her back, and I fully intend to keep that promise.”

  I bite my tongue as he continues. “You need to be quiet. You can’t let them know we’re there.” He's right. Logically I know that. But logic can go fuck itself right now for all I care.

  I hold his eyes and nod once. “Done.” I’m lying. I’m not holding back. I refuse to stand by and watch and wait.

  Nik looks behind me and asks, “Lev, Alec, you two loaded?”

  “Damn right, boss,” Alec answers. Lev nods. I look behind me at the two men. I’ve seen them before--hell, I’ve grown up with them. But I don’t trust them. I don’t trust any of them. I barely trust Nikolai.

  For all I know, this is a setup and they’re going to stab Nik in the back.

  I’m going in and grabbing my girl, and getting the fuck out. If I can kill those fuckers who took her on my way out, that’s what I’ll do. She’s all that's important. I need to get her out of there.

  “We’ll head in through the back,” Nik says and starts giving orders. We’re parked in a lot just behind the warehouse. He said there’s no cameras here. I’m taking his lead, but I don’t like waiting. I need to make sure she’s safe.

  Nik looks at me while he talks. “This hotheaded fuck is staying with me.” He turns back to look at the other men while my eyes bore into his skull.

  “You two need to make sure the place is secure. Sweep the place and kill anyone in there. Every single one of those fuckers is a traitor. He’s not the boss anymore.” They nod and agree, and with that I’m moving out of the car and I don’t stop until we’re there, staring at the steel double doors to the warehouse.

  Nik is slow as fuck compared to me, but he’s quiet. The other men are also quiet. All I can hear is my heavy breathing, and the sound of blood rushing in my ears.

  I move to open the door, but Nik stops me. His hand flies to the handle and he rips my hand away.