I raised my eyes to Logan and my heart broke. Anger, pain, and rejection looked back at me.
“You agreed to have sex with him?” my vampire asked.
“God, no!” I exclaimed. “Why does everyone automatically go there?”
A moment of relief crossed Logan’s face, but it didn’t last. “Why are you here?”
“Cedric and I broke him out of Jack’s dungeon,” I replied, pointing at the vampire behind me. “He needed blood. Jack drained him completely.”
“Not completely, or he’d be dead,” Logan said, glaring at Braden.
“Well, he was nearly drained. I’m still surprised he made it here.”
“I can’t say I’m glad he did.” Logan started to turn away but glanced back at me. “Do you have somewhere to stay?”
I could feel the hesitation in his voice. He wanted to ask me to come home with him, but he wouldn’t. I wouldn’t make him.
“Yeah, I’m good,” I lied.
He looked away. “I’m sorry, princess.”
“It’s okay. I…” I refused to lie to him again. It wasn’t okay and I didn’t understand. “I love you.”
His eyes met mine for a moment, then he was gone.
Anger and rage burned in my chest as I held on to Logan’s connection. He raced across the desert towards home. Something I didn’t have. But I had plenty of built up darkness to unleash on the man behind me.
I turned on him again and growled. He unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off his widening shoulders. It fell from one clawed hand and my gaze lingered on the material fluttering to the floor.
“Show me your anger, little mage,” Braden purred. “I want to see the darkness that child cannot handle.”
My eyes found his, filled with blood and lust. “This is your fault,” I growled. “All of it. You maneuvered me perfectly into your plan.”
“Of course I did,” he confirmed, looming over me. He was almost in full vampire form. His fangs peeked out from his lips, but not fully. “You are too special for anyone else. No one can understand you except me.”
“You know nothing about me, and I will not give you what you want tonight.”
His long, clawed fingers wrapped around my neck and pulled me to him. “I’m not the only one wanting it.”
I hung limp in his grasp, hating myself for wanting to release my darkness on him, despising the fact that it was even necessary.
“Will you really not fight against me?” he asked, tilting his head to the side. “Will you stop me from biting you?”
I refused to look at him as he lowered his head to my shoulder and sunk his teeth into the muscle. Searing pain flared up my neck and I tried to jerk away. His fangs tore through my skin, but he didn’t let go.
“What the hell?” I shrieked. “You can do that without causing me pain!” I slammed my knee between his legs and he grunted, pulling his mouth away from my shoulder. My blood dripped from his fangs as he smiled. The bastard smiled at my pain and misery. He fed on my heartache. Just kill him already, AJ.
“I can,” he said, “but I don’t get a response from you unless it hurts.”
I slapped him and he laughed; his face beautiful despite the bloody fangs. How did he get joy from my suffering? The anger and hate I’d been trying to keep a lid on finally exploded. A red haze coated my vision and my muscles burned.
Braden’s eyes widened and his fingers fell away from my neck.
“I will kill you,” I hissed.
“No, but you’ll try,” he whispered, his gaze running down my body. “You’re magnificent.”
His dumbfounded stare cost him the first blow. I raked my hand across his chest, drawing blood and not thinking about how it happened. He lunged at me with both arms reaching for my waist. I jumped to the side and he caught my wrist, but I used my momentum to race around him, digging my claws into his bare back. Holy shit, I have claws! He tried to pull me back around to his front, but I sunk my claws deeper. He howled, releasing my wrist.
With both hands free, I leapt off his back, putting space between us. He slowly turned around, dripping blood on the floor at his feet. I crouched low like Logan taught me in one of my lessons.
Braden was full vampire now. Long fangs hung from his mouth and fire lit his nearly black eyes. “We aren’t done yet, little mage,” he slurred past his fangs.
Before I could respond, he pinned me to the floor. He sat on my thighs while his clawed hands pressed against my shoulders. Pain flared in the already torn flesh.
Two glass daggers appeared in my hands and a smile spread across my face. “I could kill you now,” I whispered. “I could coat my daggers in a poison that even vampires aren’t immune to.”
“You could,” he said, leaning closer to me, “but you promised you wouldn’t.”
“What if I decide to break that promise?” I asked, pressing the tips against his bare skin. “It wasn’t part of my oath.”
“It’s not who you are,” he replied, resting his lips against my neck.
Warmth spread through my body and I screamed. I didn’t want to feel anything but hate for him. I drove my daggers into his sides and twisted. He fell against me and rolled both of us over. I jerked out one of my blades and slammed it towards his heart, stopping just before it broke the skin.
I couldn’t kill him. I wanted to. I really wanted to, but I couldn’t push my dagger into his cold, black heart. Was it my blood oath that prevented it?
I turned the weapon in my hand and noticed the long claws extending from my fingers. My daggers vanished as I brought my trembling fingers to my face, tracing the familiar lines of my forehead, eyebrows, and cheeks. Nothing changed. I ran my tongue over my teeth and gasped when I split my tongue on a sharp fang. What the hell was I? I couldn’t be a vampire. There were no blood cravings. So, why did I have claws and teeth? Panic and revulsion replaced my anger.
I tried to stand, but Braden’s hands clamped around my waist holding me on top of him. He’d returned to normal. No fangs, no claws, only deep blue eyes. “You’re not a monster,” he said. “You’re an amazing creature that needs to learn who she is.”
“What am I?” I asked. “You will tell me without strings attached.”
He laughed and released my hips. I jumped off him and put several paces between us. Braden rose from the floor in one fluid motion and stared at me. The deep cuts across his chest were nothing more than angry red marks. Was he healing quickly because of his fresh supply of blood or was it always like that?
“We need to have a history lesson first, or it’ll make no sense to you,” he said, turning his back to me. The puncture wounds from my knives and claws still oozed. I shivered, hating that I was capable of so much violence.
Deep breaths. In and out. Forcing myself to relax, I watched in awe as the claws shrunk and my small hands returned to normal. My pulse slowed, leaving only the lingering taste of disgust and self-loathing.
“Fine. Whatever. Start talking.”
“We need to leave,” he said, moving further down the hall. “Jack’s personal guard is outside.”
My heart rate leapt into overdrive and I sprinted after Braden. How was he so casual about it?
“Wait. What are we doing?” I grabbed his elbow just as he turned the knob to open the outside door.
“Killing some vampires,” he replied, pulling the door open. “Then talking about who you are.”
I stared at him dumbfounded. How did someone talk about killing and my life in the same sentence with no apparent emotion? Only a vampire who was incapable of feeling. Anger and disgust mingled so closely, I couldn’t separate the two. Part of me wanted to tear everyone to shreds, and the other part wanted to run away. I stepped back into the building and Braden frowned.
“I can’t be this thing,” I said, waving at my body. “I can’t.”
“You don’t have a choice.” His eyes flicked past me and his arm shot forward. I fell to the side cursing as he dragged a vampire through the door, crushing his neck in one hand. “
Don’t run, Alisandra.”
He ripped the vampire’s head from his body, blood splattering the door and Braden’s face. How could I not run from that? Bile rose in my throat, and I leaned over just in time to empty my stomach on the floor. Several screams filled the night, drawing my attention to the narrow valley in front of me. I didn’t want to see the carnage, but I couldn’t look away.
Six vampires attacked Braden, all of them in full transition. They didn’t fight with weapons, just their claws and unnatural strength. Another went flying, and Braden swung the man’s body like a club, slamming into the nearest foe. Two more leapt on his back, clawing his shoulders and reaching for his neck. Trying to return the favor.
I swallowed hard, knowing I couldn’t let them kill Braden. Loathing swelled in my gut again, but I forced it away. Now was not the time.
Braden pulled one of the vampires from his back, but the other wrapped his arm around the elder’s throat. He needed to die first. I created my favorite daggers, making them a little longer than normal. I needed to pierce the vampire’s heart on the first strike.
Without a cry of warning, I raced towards the fight and leapt on the vampire’s back, summoning a gust of wind to propel myself forward. I slammed both daggers into the attacker just below his shoulder blade. The force of my blow and the added wind sent our pile of bodies tumbling forward.
My target rolled off Braden and sprang to his feet, with me still hanging from his back. Damn. I missed his heart. He reached back with both clawed hands. I planted my feet on his ass and pushed away, dragging my daggers down his spine. He howled in fury and spun on me.
“I’ll drink you dry, bitch!” he yelled.
“I don’t think so!” I screamed back.
He lunged and time seemed to slow. His outstretched body hovered over me, claws ready to rip my heart out. I crossed my arms in front of me and the words to a spell sang in my head, the fae language whispering through my mind. I stepped to the side and the vampire’s body fell on the hard-packed sand at my feet. Vines burst from his chest, and he screamed in agony as they wrapped around him. I turned away, unable to watch the spell’s destruction as the magical vines cut his head from his shoulders.
Another headless body flew by me, colliding with the vampire charging at me. They fell in a tumble of limbs and blood. The same spell whispered through my mind and angry vines burst from the dead vampire. Before the other could jump away, my spell engulfed him too. Once again, I looked away, repulsion feeding my nightmare.
The last vampire stood a few yards away, fear forcing his monster form to retreat. My hand stretched out and pointed at him, but Braden’s long fingers caught mine.
“Let him live,” Braden said. “He can tell Jack about his defeat and your mercy.”
The vampire’s gaze rose from his fallen brethren to me.
“And if he lies to Jack?” I asked.
“I think you can make sure he doesn’t,” Braden suggested. “You’re awfully bossy.”
I closed the space between myself and the lone vampire. He took a step back and I grabbed his shirt. Fear radiated off him in waves, confusing my senses.
“You will go back to Jack and tell him exactly what happened here,” I commanded. “You will not lie to him about anything. Do you understand?”
“He will kill me,” the man stuttered. “If I go back, he’ll kill me.”
My resolve faltered. I couldn’t send him to his death, could I? I’d been about to kill him if Braden hadn’t stopped me, so how was this any different?
“Then tell him I showed you mercy,” I said, still making it a command. “You believe I might allow you in my new circle of friends.”
His fear turned to confusion. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I hate to see unneeded death,” I replied, waving towards the five others spilling blood into the sand. “You don’t have to die today, not by my hand.”
I released his shirt and he took another step back. “Thank you, princess.”
“Don’t let Jack hear you call me that,” I said.
He nodded and sprinted away. Braden’s chuckle drew my attention. Once again, it wasn’t the irritating sound that reminded me of a nervous tick. It was genuine humor. What happened to his smug expression and false bravado?
“The world is not ready for you,” he said. “But I’ll try to make sure you’re ready for them.”
“Why me?” I asked, feeling my anger burn again. “Last time I asked that question, you gave me some bullshit answer. I want the truth.”
“I told you the truth last time,” he replied, looking down at his shredded chest. “As I always have.”
“No, you told me enough to appease my curiosity,” I retorted. “I want to know everything.”
“I want a shower and a cell phone,” he said. “And some clean clothes.”
“I should’ve known you wouldn’t give me answers,” I hissed. “Goodbye, Braden.”
I closed my eyes and tried to visualize someplace I could go to get away from him. Not just him, but all of it. A black hole was all I could come up with. Maybe I could get sucked into outer space and find a new race of people who wouldn’t try to make me a weapon, or a leader, or a slave. Sure, and pigs could fly.
“Where will you go?” Braden asked. “You have no home, do you?”
My eyes popped open and glared at the insensitive bastard. “Thanks for pointing out the obvious, because that makes me feel so much better.” I walked away from him into the desert, not caring which direction I went. In the end, it didn’t really matter. Destiny would drag me back into its evil clutches and force me to fight a battle I wanted nothing to do with.
Chapter 10
A few moments later, Braden appeared at my side. I ignored him, hoping he’d go away. He didn’t.
“Do you still have a cell phone?” he asked, not even respecting my obvious need for silence.
I pulled mine from my pocket and cursed; a shattered screen stared back at me. “Yeah, if you can make it work.” I threw it at him and kept walking.
“Is it still the same password?”
“What do you think?”
I pushed the vampire from my mind and tried to concentrate on my next step. “Going forward,” I mumbled, “that’s all that matters.” But which way would lead me forward not backwards? I should be going back to Kellen’s and learning how to fight with him. We still had to confront Ernesto in Mexico City. That couldn’t wait.
But I couldn’t stop thinking about Braden’s promise to explain what I was. Maybe I needed to know that before I could train with Kellen. Maybe my damn elementals should’ve told me. Yep. They had to have known all along and kept it from me. Their betrayal stung, mostly because I’d truly trusted them. But they lied to me just like everyone else. So much of this could’ve been avoided if I’d known the truth from the beginning, I thought. They treated me just like Kellen did, dropping breadcrumbs at their convenience.
My hands clenched at my sides, a red haze engulfing me. I tried to tamp it down, but it refused to be silent. They all wanted to use me. Kellen, Braden, the elements, my father. I bet even that damn fae queen was behind the scenes pulling the strings of her little puppet.
They took away my shitty job and my best friend. Then they stole my only peace. And somehow, they thought I should keep it all a secret. No wonder Jack was pissed and wanted to expose everyone. I could almost do the same thing right now.
My muscles burned with my hatred. I turned around to see Braden staring at me, my phone gripped in his hand. It better not be concern on his face. He was part of the problem, and I had a solution for him. I lowered my body, preparing to lunge, needing to release the monster boiling in my chest.
I jumped and slammed into an invisible wall. Waves of water cascaded over my body, quenching my rage and soaking through my layers of clothes. I fell on my back, gasping. The black hole I longed for opened above me between the stars. I should take it and leave these idiots to kill each other.
> Göksu’s familiar healing warmth washed over my body, forcing my frustration into the sand beneath me. His fluid face appeared over mine, and I reached up to slap him.
“You need to find balance, child,” he said, gripping my hand in his.
“I don’t know how to do that,” I spat. “No one wants to tell me the truth, only half-stories filled with lies and deception.”
He sat next to me and released my hand. “That is partly my fault,” he said. “I believed it would be better to introduce you to yourself in small doses. I was afraid doing it all at once would hurt you, but I see I was wrong.” He looked towards Braden, who stood several yards away. “Small doses are destroying you. Come sit next to me. Let me show you what you can do to keep peace in your heart before you kill the vampire.”
I sat up and scooted to his side. Finally, I would have answers and I wouldn’t have to bargain with Braden to get them. I almost stuck my tongue out at him but refrained.
“Should he go away or something?” I asked, pointing at the vampire.
“No, he was fae before he was a vampire,” Göksu replied. “He already knows.”
Anger bubbled in my core. “You never lied to me?” I shot at Braden.
“Not once,” he replied.
I almost jumped to my feet and attacked him, but my water elemental’s hand caught my knee.
“Ignore him,” Göksu said, “and give me your hand.”
I did stick out my tongue this time, then placed my hand in Göksu’s. Braden smiled and walked away, tapping on my phone.
“Niyol, Qeb, and Aviur will complete our circle.”
My wind elemental appeared at my other side. Kellen’s fire and earth rose from the sand and sat in front of me.
“So, which one is which?” I asked, looking from Fire to Earth with awe.
“Qeb,” Earth replied in a low rumble.
“Aviur.” Fire’s name rolled off his tongue in a way I’d never repeat. It almost sounded sexy the way he said it.
Each elemental joined hands with the one next to him. When Niyol’s wispy fingers wrapped around mine, an onslaught of magic battered against me. Qeb’s heaviness threatened to pull me into the sand, while Niyol’s wind fought to keep me upright. Aviur’s heat singed my skin, and Göksu healed it. The constant battle between the elements sapped my energy, and I leaned forward, dropping my head into the sand. Niyol and Göksu pulled me back up, refusing to let me collapse.
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