“Don’t fight our strength, child,” my elemental’s soothing voice settled over me. “Allow it to channel through your body.”
“Yeah right,” I whined. “You make it sound so easy.”
“Close your eyes,” Qeb said. “Feel the earth beneath you but don’t force it to stay there.”
I did as he asked, unable to miss his heavy presence pulling me down. I took a deep breath, ignoring the sandalwood in the air. Pull the earth up, I told myself, repeating it several times. The weight on my butt lessened slightly.
“Feel the fire in your veins,” Aviur whispered. “Don’t let it settle on your skin. It’s part of you. A friend. A lover. Meant to caress your soul, not burn it.”
Warmth bloomed in my chest and other places it shouldn’t. Desire washed over me, melting my insides and making me long for things I couldn’t have. “You’re naughty,” I said, knowing my cheeks flushed. “Do you do this to Kellen?”
“Only if he’d let me,” Aviur purred.
All kinds of inappropriate thoughts raced through my mind, but it was easy to let the fire consume me. He felt good. Waves of pleasure ran through me and I opened myself to them, forgetting about all the threats and responsibilities looming. I moaned in ecstasy and felt myself falling backwards.
Göksu pulled me back with a splash of icy water. My eyes popped open and I glared at him. “You and Aviur can get acquainted later,” he said. I didn’t miss the hostility in his furrowed brow and pronounced frown as he stared at the fire elemental. “We are balancing her magic, not seducing her.”
“Stop whining, brother. She is balanced,” Aviur said. Then, he pushed another wave of pleasure my way. I giggled.
I looked around our little circle and smiled. I could feel all of them without the push and pull of their magic. Each element hummed in my body, and there was no sign of my darkness.
“Thank you,” I whispered, my tears blurring my vision. “You’ve given me peace.”
“Don’t deny that which is part of you,” Qeb rumbled. “What you call darkness is just another strength.”
“But it feels awful,” I argued. “It makes me do horrific things.”
“No.” Aviur leaned forward. “It helps you do what is necessary.”
I glanced at Braden and frowned. He paced back and forth, still a few yards outside our circle. He stopped and met my gaze with a questioning look.
“You can leave, Braden,” I said. “You don’t have to wait for me.”
He raised both hands in the air and mouthed, “What?”
“He cannot hear you,” Göksu said. “Just as we cannot hear him.”
It was obvious he could see me, his piercing eyes saying what his mouth couldn’t.
“We should tell him he can go,” I insisted. “There’s no reason for him to wait around.”
Aviur chuckled, drawing my attention with a flare of fire. “He’s not leaving you.”
I frowned, not liking his tone or what he implied. Did I even dare ask? Nope. “Okay, so now that I’m balanced. Can you tell me what I am?”
“You are fae, my dear,” Qeb answered. “And you’re a mage.”
“Duh. I already knew that,” I snapped. “What does that mean? What was that creature I turned into a few minutes ago?”
Niyol squeezed my hand and I looked up at him. “Many fae have the darkness you hate, though it isn’t as strong as yours,” he said, his wispy voice floating over me. “Most of them find their peace in the fae kingdom and it’s all they need to control it. They have harmony and understand the need to stay in their home.”
“Very few, like you and your father, need both peace and violence to tame the darkness,” Qeb continued, drawing my attention back. “We’ve provided the balance of your elements to give you peace, but you also require someone to take your violence.” He nodded towards Braden.
“Hell no!” I exclaimed. “I will not be tied to him forever.”
“It’s him or someone like him,” Aviur said. “Of all the creatures capable of surviving, he’s probably your best option.”
I stared at Braden with disbelief. There was no way I could be tied to him.
“What about Logan?” I asked. “I have peace with Logan and he loves me. Braden will never love me.”
The four elements glanced at each other and wariness edged towards me. I hated when they did that.
“Logan’s love brings you peace,” Göksu finally said, “just as Kellen’s love brings you peace. But if they should anger you, they won’t survive your darkness.”
“But I can never be mad at Logan,” I argued, knowing it wasn’t true. He broke my heart with his rejection tonight. “I’m pretty sure the same applies for Kellen. After everything I’ve experienced in the last few days, I can’t judge him.”
“You know that’s not true, child,” my water elemental said. “Especially in the heat of battle.”
“What are you saying?” I asked, searching his fluid face. “Am I doomed to be alone, without love, forever?”
He didn’t answer. When I turned to the others, they looked away. How could they do this to me? I was a weapon to them and nothing more. Which meant Logan would die with me in the coming fight. Whether it was against Ernesto in the next few days or with Jack, it didn’t matter. I couldn’t let that happen.
“Where’s Spirit?” I asked. “I want my bond to Logan severed.”
“No you don’t,” Niyol said.
I pulled my hands away from him and Göksu, then jumped to my feet. “Yes I do. I will not sacrifice his life to your battle. I understand what you expect from me, but I won’t kill him too. I can’t carry that guilt.”
A ray of light lit the middle of our circle and Mr. Universe with wings appeared. “If I remove your spirit bond, it will also take away your gifts.”
“Will Logan go back to human blood?” I asked, not caring about my gifts.
“Yes.”
“Will you take his soul?”
“No, he has earned it a thousand times over.”
I looked down at my blood-spattered sneakers and choked. They weren’t the only victims of tonight’s events. My shorts and Hawaiian shirt were covered in ragged tears and blood. Just another reason to disconnect my life from Logan’s. The threats against me would only get worse.
“Will he feel it when you break our bond?”
“Yes. He may not recognize it right away, but he’ll feel the change,” Spirit answered.
I looked up at his shimmering wings. The magic flowing through them mesmerized me, just like they did the first time I saw him. When he connected my soul to Logan’s.
“I can’t have his life tied to mine,” I whispered. “Please undo it.”
“Are you sure?” Spirit asked. “You will need your gifts for the coming fight. Without the vampire’s speed, you will struggle to defeat them.”
“I can’t have his life tied to mine!” I yelled. “Logan’s death hanging over my head will make me cautious. I’ll hesitate because of my fear for him.” I glanced at Braden and shook my head. His wide-eyed stare was focused solely on Spirit. I understood. “That one told me that my love for Logan would kill me,” I muttered, pointing at Braden. “I don’t mind, as long as it doesn’t kill my vampire.”
Spirit took one step and closed the space between us, placing his wide palm on my chest. “I cannot leave you without the vampire’s gifts,” he said softly, pointing his free hand at Braden. “I’m sorry, child.”
Pain bloomed in my chest, and the world fell beneath my feet. Logan’s face flashed before my eyes; worry etched in his features. I cried his name but knew he couldn’t hear me. He fell to his knees and tears ran down his face. He clutched his chest, his hazel eyes shifting to blood red. Could he see me as clear as I saw him? Did he see my heart breaking?
I should have told him first before I ripped it all away from him. Stupid, stupid, stupid, I thought. Would he ever speak to me again? I wouldn’t if I were him. If I felt the betrayal, he would too. The pain
in my chest flared again and I knew it was my heart shattering. I’d thrown away the only person who truly loved me, even if it was to save him. A blinding light consumed me with another round of agony, and I fell to the ground.
I curled into a ball and cried. Logan’s tear-filled eyes painted themselves on my mind. He would think I did it because of his rejection. He wouldn’t know the whole story because I hadn’t made the time to tell him. Could I force Göksu to explain? I’d certainly try. Logan needed to know the truth.
Voices around me intensified, Spirit’s rising over the others.
“Was there another way, brothers?” he bellowed. “If so, tell me now.”
I sat up and gasped. The four elementals surrounded Spirit, their tense postures hinting at their anger.
“He cannot have a soul!” Göksu yelled, his form shifting to almost solid. “Not him.”
Shock rolled over me. I’d never seen my water elemental mad.
“You would leave her without love?” Spirit pointed to me. “He can relieve her darkness, but she cannot survive without love.”
“We can love her,” Aviur stated, drifting towards me.
“Yes, because you are exactly what she needs!” Niyol howled. “Your pleasure will take care of her sexual needs, but what of her heart?”
“Dusha is right,” Qeb said, drawing everyone’s attention.
I peered around the group of elementals to find his stony gaze on me. What were they saying? He didn’t give Braden a soul and think the bastard could actually love... did he? I frantically searched the spot where the elder was standing a few moments before, but Braden was gone.
“Alisandra needs the vampire’s gifts, but she also needs compassion and understanding,” Qeb continued. “He is one of the original elders. If anyone can remember, it will be him.”
I pushed myself off the ground, brushing my hands on my tattered shorts. “Someone needs to tell me what the hell just happened, besides ripping out my heart, which I asked for.”
“You need a history lesson,” Spirit said, or was it Dusha? He didn’t look like a ‘Dusha’ to me. “Let’s sit and be civilized.”
The elementals resumed their previous spots, making room for Spirit—Dusha—between Qeb and Aviur. A low moan drew my attention outside our circle. Braden sat up, rubbing his chest and cursing beneath his breath.
“Why can I hear him?” I asked, not pulling my gaze from the vampire.
His head snapped up and his eyes met mine. “Alisandra?”
He never called me by my name, almost never.
“I thought he couldn’t hear us?” I asked, swiveling my attention back to the circle.
“He’s now part of this,” Dusha said. “Come here, elder, and join our merry little group.”
I snorted and shook my head. Braden didn’t move.
“Hurry up, dammit!” I called out. “I’m sure when we’re done there will be more killing. It seems that’s all I’m needed for.”
“That is not true,” Niyol stated, his hand settling on my shoulder.
I shrugged it off and glared at him. “Keep telling yourself that lie. Everyone’s actions here have proved otherwise.”
Braden stood and stumbled towards our circle. I scooted over, leaving enough room between me and Niyol for him to sit down. I didn’t trust Göksu not to drown him. He obviously hated the vampire.
“We’re trying to prepare you to survive,” Aviur said.
“No, you’re trying to prepare me to win this fight,” I corrected. “Which could mean my sacrificial death. I’ve read enough fantasy novels to know there’s always a sacrifice.”
“This isn’t some silly novel,” Qeb growled.
“Whatever, continue with the history lesson.” I waved a hand at him and Braden chuckled, the nervous one that soothed my nerves. At least one of them was acting normal. “I’ll hold my questions to the end.”
Niyol and Braden both laughed, and I glared at them. I could wait, maybe.
“Several centuries ago, a small group of magic users believed they could reveal themselves to humanity,” Dusha began. “At the time, we thought so too. Humans worshiped many gods and nature. They didn’t shy away from the thought of magic, and some actually sought it out. So, we didn’t fight against the reveal.”
“One of the worst mistakes of our time,” Qeb rumbled. “When humanity realized the power just out of their reach, they started sacrificing the weaker magical creatures, thinking to steal their power from them.” He glanced at Braden for a moment. “When that didn’t work, the humans formed hunts for the more powerful ones.”
Braden tensed beside me. He’d spoken of the hunts a couple times.
“We used the fae to create a warrior powerful enough to destroy the hunters,” Göksu continued. “Selecting those with the strongest affinity to the darkness, we developed a soldier capable of taking out an entire hunting party by himself.” He also glanced at Braden, and I suspected I knew exactly what they were talking about.
“What did you do to them?” I asked. “Is that what you’re doing to me now?”
“We’ll never repeat what we did to those few warriors,” Dusha replied. “We stole their souls, thinking we’d make it easier for them to face the guilt of killing. It worked, but the sacrifice was too much.”
Braden’s whole body shook, and I recognized the feeling of his anger. I couldn’t say I blamed him. I stared at him until he met my eyes. “I understand,” I whispered.
“That’s not how I remember it,” Braden said, turning to the circle of elementals. “We were already vampires and the fae hunted us.”
“No, we took that from you as well,” Dusha replied. “You remember the end of the hunts, not the beginning. You were a full-blooded fae with strong dark magic.” His face softened and his wings folded against his back. “When I took your soul, you became the first vampire.”
Braden lunged at the winged elemental but didn’t make it far. Dusha somehow suspended the vampire several feet off the ground without moving a muscle.
“How dare you!” Braden screamed, his muscles bulging with the effort to move.
“If I had not, the humans would have killed everyone,” Dusha replied, calm despite the vampire’s rage. “They outnumbered the supernatural and had already decimated the gnomes. When did you last see one of them? They’ve still not been able to repopulate their numbers.”
“The fae could’ve slaughtered the humans,” Braden argued.
“That is your answer?” Qeb asked. “To kill all the humans?”
I already knew Braden didn’t want to reveal the supernatural families. We’d already had that discussion.
“No.” The resignation in his voice hurt.
“Your queen refused to use her people to fight against the human hunters. She would’ve allowed all the other species to wage war on their own,” Dusha continued, lowering the vampire to the ground. “We took you and five others without permission.”
“And we paid the price for it ever since,” Aviur hissed, fire flaring around him.
“Yes, which is why we have to do it right this time,” Göksu stated. “Alisandra needs every advantage she can get without involving the fae.”
Braden sank to his knees, his back to me, and laughed, harsh and humorless. “The queen is already several steps ahead of you,” Braden said, looking at Dusha. “I have a blood oath with her to turn our little mage after Jack is dead.”
My mouth fell open. He was the one. I hadn’t wanted to believe it, but he was. All this time he pretended to be nice to me, fed me that bullshit about honesty, and now this. I rose to my feet, but Niyol stopped me from moving.
“Fae cannot be turned,” Dusha said.
Braden’s smile faltered and his eyes widened. “Truly?”
The spirit elemental nodded and Braden rolled back onto his butt, folding his legs in front of him.
“I had no idea, but clearly she did.” He paused and I tried to follow his line of thought but failed. “She has ensured Ja
ck’s death and mine, because I cannot fulfill my part of the oath.” He shook his head. “She’ll finally rid herself of the last two elders.”
Was he saying he and Jack would both die, because he couldn’t fulfill his oath by making me a vampire? Did I care if he died? My slow brain finally caught up and I clapped my hand over my mouth. Did Dusha bind me to Braden so I would have his vampire skills? I met Dusha’s gaze and he nodded. “No,” I gasped. “Did you know this?” I demanded. “Did you know she made a deal with him before you did this to us?” I pointed at Braden but didn’t take my eyes from the spirit elemental.
“No. I was unaware of her oath with the elder,” he replied.
That meant I would die with Braden now that our lives were tied together. Why would he make a blood oath with the queen? My eyes dropped to Braden’s back and the same question I’d asked so many times came back. “Why me, Braden?”
“I cannot tell you,” he mumbled, not turning to look at me.
I stomped towards him and pushed his shoulder. He didn’t move. Of course. I knelt in front of him, putting my palms on the sides of his face. He still refused to look at me.
“Thanks to Mr. Universe with wings, we are now bound to each other,” I said. “Now is the perfect time to tell me.”
When his gaze finally met mine, I almost looked away. Sadness and regret assaulted me. That damn bond. The same bond I should’ve kept with Logan. At least Logan loved me. Braden merely wanted a weapon, just like the everyone else. What did I do? I thought. How could I betray Logan’s love?
“Mr. Universe with wings?” he asked, pulling one of my hands away.
I let the other one fall to my side and sat down in front of him. “Is that all you got from this?”
“I’m ignoring the rest.”
“You’re not allowed to ignore the rest,” I hissed. “We’re tied to one another. Can’t you feel it?”
“Your emotions are overwhelming,” he replied. “But it doesn’t matter. My life is forfeit along with yours.”
Elemental's Domain Page 10