by V. Muñoz
“You’re right. And after all, we didn’t do anything wrong, so let’s talk to Chinhae tomorrow when we’re sober again. I wanna get wasted tonight.” I didn’t have to say that twice, as he had already pulled out his flask filled with gin.
“Ladies first,” he said as he passed the flask to me.
I took a big sip, enjoying the burn of the hard liquor, but still squeezed my eyes, making Namjoon chuckle. When I handed it back to him, he quickly popped a small pill before he took a gulp of the gin. “Oh? So, you’re keeping the real fun stuff to yourself tonight, Joonie?” I raised my eyebrows at him.
“You never take Molly, princess. Let’s keep it that way,” he frowned at my sudden eagerness to do drugs. Sure, I had my experiences with weed and had even tried cocaine one time, but I never went beyond that. Tonight however, I felt curious, especially since I knew that Namjoon took MDMA on quite a regular basis , a nd he had some in his pocket.
“We’re done with school after tonight. Maybe it’s about time I’ll give it a try.” I extended my palm to him, and eventually Namjoon gave in and handed me one of the colorful pills. He watched as I looked at the small pill in my hand and just when I popped it into my mouth and wa s about to swallow it, his lips were attached to mine. His tongue grazed over my lips and I parted them just a bit so that he could slide in. First, I thought that this kiss was finally the next step in my relationship with my childhood best friend since but when I felt his tongue stealing the little MDMA pill out of my mouth, I knew better.
Namjoon broke the kiss and swallowed the pill. “Sorry, princess. That was dumb of me. I couldn’t let you do this. It’s already enough that I’m addicted to that shit.” He moved away from my face, a sheepish grin playing on his.
I was flabbergasted , but quickly recovered and grimaced at him. “Yah! Who do you think you are, Namjoon?! You can’t just kiss me and dictate what I get to do and what I don’t ! I’m old enough to know what I want.” I stood in front of him with my hands on my hips, an arrogant look concealing my true feelings.
Namjoon immediately picked up on the game I was playing , s o leaned forward, placing his lips merely inches away from my ear . I shuddered in anticipation , and then he whispered: “Then tell me, what do you want, princess?” His left hand ghosted over my cheek, his right one resting on my waist.
Should I really do this? Tell him what I want? That all I really wanted is him? I did some soul-searching, weighing my options. J ust when I decided to tell him how I truly felt, his deep chuckle filled my ears.
“I’m just fooling with you, princess. God, that shit really kicks in fast!” he moved back, visibly more wasted than he was a few seconds ago.
I watched Soojin approach ing the two of us, a pout on her face. S he wrapped h er arms around my best friend. “Why did you dump me, Namjoonie? I dressed up extra pretty, just for you.”
God, I hated her. She was in a way too short light dress , her breasts perfectly perky and her ass barely covered by the thin fabric. She completely ignored my presence, and I could feel Namjoon’s attention slip out of my hands.
“Soojin, baby. I’m sorry, I needed to fulfill my best friend duties, you know. How about I make it up to you?” He tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear, making Soojin smile shyly at him. I swore I could vomit , especially when I heard Namjoon ’s next words. “Valentina, you don’t mind if I leave early with Soojin, do you?”
I could feel my heart breaking, even though I hadn’t expected anything less from Namjoon. After all, he was still Kim Namjoon , m y best friend. The fuckboy of our high school , and a fucking tease with a way too pretty dick between his toned thighs. I smiled through the pain and nodded almost mechanically, dismissing my best friend from his duties for the night. Namjoon squeezed my cheeks between his large hands, giving my forehead multiple pecks as he happily mumbled Thank yous before disappearing into the mass of bodies with Soojin, leaving me alone .
I didn’t want to stay any longer at that god damn prom, feeling too sad and kind of embarrassed. Most of my classmates were fortunately too busy to notice my figure walking by. I headed straight for the back door and called an Uber. The cool night air hit me like a sledgehammer as I leaned back against the cold concrete wall.
“Val?” Chinhae ’s soft voice pulled me out of my thoughts. He was standing right next to me , looking both insecure and concerned. He wiped away the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs, and that’s when I noticed that I was crying. “Why are you crying? I’m sorry for letting you down.”
Chinhae pulled me into a tight hug, and I leaned into his touch, my head resting on his shoulder. “I-It’s just Namjoon. He left with Soojin and kinda just left me behind , ” I mumbled against his white dress shirt. It was already stained with my mascara.
I felt Chinhae take a deep breath and sigh before he took off his jacket and draped it over my shoulders. “Let’s get you back home, Val.”
*
“Do you need anything else?” Chinhae had helped me remove my makeup and tucked me into my bed, gently stroking my hair. As he took care of me, I realized how lucky I was to have a best friend like him .
“I’m fine now . T hank you ChinChin.” I smiled tiredly at him. He patted my head lightly before he got up and wished me a good night.
Hours had passed since Chinhae had brought me home, and it must’ve been around two in the morning when I felt the familiar dip of my mattress and heard the rustling of the sheets - Namjoon. At f irst I wanted to push him away, but when I felt his strong arm draping over my waist, I just couldn’t. Namjoon nuzzled his nose into my hair, inhaling deeply . I felt his warm body pressed against mine and even though he had been an ass earlier, I completely forgave him just because he was here now.
I turned around in his arms , making him jerk in surprise. “Fuck, did I wake you up?” he whispered, but eased up when I softly shook my head, turning onto my back. “I didn’t want to leave you alone earlier . I’m sorry for dumping you, princess.”
Namjoon still had his hand on my waist, gently massaging my exposed skin. I hummed in satisfaction and felt my eyes drooping , but that still didn’t stop the snarky comment on the tip of my tongue. “Was Soojin’s blowjob game that bad or what?” Namjoon chuckled and hid his face in the crook of my neck, and he dragged his body slowly down on my side.
“Nah, I was too high for that shit, I didn’t fuck her , ” his warm breath tickled my neck.
“Good,” I murmured.
“You’re not pissed at me?” Namjoon’s head shot up in surprise.
“No, because you always do stupid stuff when you’re high, Joonie.”
“Mhm, true. You can also blame the drugs for what I’m about to do next,” his lips met mine, making me moan lightly at the feeling of his plush lips. This time it didn’t feel like the teasing from before. Namjoon kissed me softly, and gently bit down onto my lower lip before soothing the spark of pain with his tongue. I grazed my nails over his exposed back, making him tremble under my touch. My hands wandered to the nape of his neck to play with his soft dark brown hair.
That seemed to embolden Namjoon, as he began trailing kisses along my jawline to my neck. It all seemed too good to be true, and Namjoon must’ve come to the same conclusion because he abruptly ended the kiss.
“What’s wrong, Joonie?” I asked in a shaky voice afraid of finding out why he sudden ly changed his mind. I ’d always wanted this so bad, my best friend belonging to me, and not in the platonic way.
“Let’s talk about that when I’m completely sober again, okay?” he said as he put some distance between us and settled back into his usual position right behind me. I turned to my side, trying to contain the excitement bubbling up inside me. Maybe things were finally turning out in my favor when it came to Namjoon.
*
I woke up feeling refreshed, a smile playing on my lips. Namjoon had kissed me, and he wanted to talk about it. Which only meant that he felt the same. I turned around hoping that he was still next to
me, but I should’ve known better. He never stayed until I woke up. But that didn’t bother me. Even my mother seemed to wonder why I was in such a good mood. After I got dressed and had breakfast, I quickly made my way up to Namjoon’s.
I decided to knock instead of just barging into the apartment as usual. After all, me and Namjoon had taken a huge step, and I didn’t want to burst into his room like I usually did as a friend . His stepmother opened the door , and I quickly made my way to his room, knocking the door softly before I entered. Namjoon was already up, doing pushups with nothing but his sweatpants on. I could watch him do that all day. However, when he noticed my presence, he stopped and quickly put a shirt on. I fidgeted, glancing shyly around in his room.
“Princess, what do you need?” Namjoon grinned at me.
“Uhm… about last night…” I was still trying to find the right words to start THAT conversation.
“I know . I’m so so sorry, Val. I shouldn’t have taken two of that shit. Fuck, I was so wasted,” he chuckled. “Wait, did I do something awkward? Please tell me I didn’t embarrass myself.” His big brown eyes locked on mine, and I could see that he was panicking . All my hopes were obliterated by his words. He didn’t remember. Or he didn’t want to remember. Of course, he didn’t. Namjoon would never commit to anyone , not even me. All I could do now was play along, no matter how much I was hurting.
“No, you did nothing embarrassing, Joonie , ” I gave him a small smile before turning on my heels and walking out of his room as fast as I could.
“Yah! Princess, wait! Chinhae called me earlier . He wants to head to Seoul today. Are you coming with us?” Namjoon yelled after me and I responded with a loud “ Yes ” as I slipped out of his apartment. Facing Namjoon was too much for me. I just hoped things would calm down again, and maybe a fun weekend in Seoul was exactly what my best friends and I needed to get over the tension.
Chapter 2
4 Years later
“She’s still glaring at me, Joon,” I glanced over Namjoon’s shoulder as we danced . He was my date for Chinhae’s wedding, and if he wasn’t just my best friend, I would have dated him. However, this was still a line I wouldn’t dare to cross – our pact still stood . The only rule we ’ve ever had in our friendship. Chinhae’s wife, Nari, glared daggers at me. She hated how close I was with both men and wasn’t pleased that Chinhae had invited me at all. Chinhae would’ve readily canceled the wedding rather than celebrat e it without one of his best friends, so she had been forced to deal with it.
Namjoon turned me around and chuckled. “You better get used to it, princess.” I could feel his warm breath and his lips lightly grazing over my exposed shoulder, making me shiver. God damn it, Kim Namjoon. He was still a huge flirt, and even after years of being friends with him, he had this effect on me. I had a weak spot for the tall man, an d it seemed to have grown ever since he kissed me that night after prom. As much as I wanted to forget that fateful night four years ago, I simply couldn’t. So I silently longed for my best friend, too afraid to ruin the friendship we had.
Lost in thoughts, I didn’t notice another handsome man coming up to us until Namjoon let me go. The man had two drinks in his hands, and was asking my best friend if he could borrow me for a second. “She’s all yours , ” I heard Namjoon say before he disappeared into the crowd, probably in search of a woman to sleep with tonight, leaving me alone with the handsome stranger.
I stared after Namjoon for a second too long, and the man in front of me noticed. He cleared his throat, making me turn my head. “So, Valentina, is it? I’m Erik Parker.” He handed me one of the drinks and smiled.
“Nice to meet you, Erik , ” I sipped my drink. His presence somehow made me feel too nervous to talk. Before it could get even more awkward, my mother appeared out of nowhere.
“Ahhh Erik, you finally found her! Valentina, this is Erik Parker, a successful entrepreneur from Los Angeles. Would you be so kind and show him around ?”
So that was what was going on - Erik Parker was the new investor from Los Angeles. The guy who could save our family’s company in the blink of an eye. I nodded and politely gestured for him to follow me.
*
Chinhae’s wedding was being held in one of our family’s establishments in Busan - a huge complex with offices and a huge venue for events. I eyed Erik from the side, noting that he was indeed handsome, and was dressed in expensive clothes from head to toe. However, I still felt uneasy around him. Maybe it was because I didn’t know him yet, so I decided to start a conversation.
“I read about you in Forbes magazine last month, your app is revolutionary.” He smiled at my compliment.
“Thanks, pretty , but my visions for the future are even better , ” he replied in a cocky tone, making my eyebrow quirk up.
“Oh, and that is?” If he wanted to play the arrogant macho game, two could do that, I thought. His head snapped towards me .
“Hmm… I plan on investing into your family’s business, how’s that sound?” The two of us stopped walking around the hallway. I looked up at him innocently . Erik towered over me, and slowly began cornering me against the wall. He licked his lips and leaned closer, but I stopped him with my hands, making him look into my eyes in surprise.
“And what do you get in return for that?” I tilted my head, a smirk playing on my lips.
Erik leaned closer. “You.” His voice sounded hoarse, and I could feel his lips brush against my earlobe. I slowly tilted my head to the side, facing him. The anticipation in his eyes was burning holes into my head, but I wasn’t falling for it .
“I’m not for sale or something you can claim as yours , ” I whispered against his lips, innocently batting my eyelashes. He was caught off guard for a moment, which was enough for me to know that he was not worthy of me. Only one person could fire back at me and play cat and mouse with me perfectly - Kim Namjoon , who was standing at the end of the hallway, watching Erik and me with visible amusement.
I pushed Erik aside. “Sorry hun, you failed. Try your luck with a more desperate woman. Y ou can’t buy everything with money,” I called over my shoulder, making Namjoon and I laugh. Erik stared at us, visibly dumbfounded by my resistance., His fists were clenched at his side .
“God, you really enjoy destroying men’s deepest fantasies , ” Namjoon’s hand was on my lower back as he guided me back into the ballroom.
“Come on, Joonie. We all know it’s her secret hobby , ” Chinhae squeezed himself between us and giggled. He was visibly drunk and reeked of a n entire bar, but I didn’t mind his next proposal. “Let’s get out of here. I wanna get wasted with you two. Like in the good old times.”
Those were the only words we needed to order an Uber and leave for the city. No one noticed the three of us leaving, let alone that the groom was leaving his own wedding early. Chinhae quickly peeled off his tuxedo jacket and loosened his tie . Namjoon did the same, and pushed up his sleeves and undid the top buttons of his shirt. I stared at his strong forearms and exposed chest, dirty thoughts already playing through my head. Th e night was going to be hard.
*
Chinhae chose one of the most expensive clubs in Busan and the three of us were soon guided to the VIP area, bottles of alcohol waiting for us. Some women in way too short dresses waited near our booth, trying to gain the boys ’ attention. Namjoon smirked and chugged his drink before waving three of them inside, making my heart drop. The three girls quickly sat around him and swooned over his attractiveness and of course, his money. He didn’t mind though . I knew Namjoon - he just wanted to get wasted and laid. One of the three ladies was going to be the lucky one tonight, and my heart ached.
“Stop torturing your self Valentina.” I was so deep in thought that I had almost forgotten about Chinhae’s presence. My eyes widened in shock at his words, but I tried to play it down.
“I don’t know what you mean, Chinhae.” I let my gaze wander through the club and I gulped my drink. That just made Chinhae inch closer.
> “I may be drunk right now, but I’m not blind, cutie. You ’ve yearned af ter Namjoon for years now, but he’s too dumb to r ealize and too busy fuck ing through Korea’s elite. You’re my best friend and this is all I have to tell you – stop it. He won’t change or if he will, it’s going to take years. You know him, it’s Namjoon. So please, Val, for your own sake, find someone else and keep him in the friendzone.” My gaze dropped to my hands, cheeks turning bright red. “Valentina, I’m your best friend, too. And I don’t want you to hold onto unrealistic expectations or to get hurt.” Chinhae took my hands in his and squeezed them lightly, making me look up.
His words made tears well up in my eyes, but I held them back and quickly swallowed my feelings down, playfully shoving Chinhae ’s shoulder. “Don’t be ridiculous, Chinhae-ah! Can we now please just have fun? Your nonsense is making me nauseous.” I tried to sound cheerful and pasted a smile on my face, but it didn’t reach my eyes. He just sighed and downed his drink.
“Whatever you say, cutie.” I extended my hand to his and dragged him out of the booth.
“Namjoon…” I just wanted to tell him that Chinhae and I were heading to the dancefloor, but he was already busy shoving his tongue down the throat of one of the girls. I could feel my heart drop again, but t as Chinhae said – Namjoon was Namjoon. He never showed any romantic interest in me because we all agreed on that when we decided to stay friends as we grew older , a nd he was always on the prowl for sex. It had always been like that and he for sure wasn’t going change for me, his best friend who accepted every facet of his personality .