Big City Bust-Up
Page 4
“Hey, boss, give us a ring, would you?” shouted Grimsby.
“What good will a phone call be?” said Sheffield, flailing about in the water.
“I mean a rubber ring,” said Grimsby.
“Come on, you two idiots,” said the Ringmaster, throwing a couple of rubber rings for the clowns and pulling them back toward the boat.
Donnie made to fly after them, but felt something holding him back. He turned his head to see a stone dragon gripping his backpack in its mouth. He slipped his arms out of the straps and dropped to the ground in time to see his backpack being torn to bits by the dragon’s rock-hard teeth.
“Do you know how much stuff was in that, you dumb dragon?” demanded Donnie.
The dragon landed and bared its teeth at Donnie, preparing to attack. At that moment, the ground began to shake and Donnie watched as the dragon lost its footing and toppled into the river.
“Whoa! What’s happening?” cried Donnie. He ran back up the jetty to see that the entire army of statues had fallen over. In among them was Jet, standing with his legs apart.
“Ninja-boom-boom, shake the room,” he said. “That’s what I call a Quake Maker.”
Chuck and Bruce were standing over the Human Statue, who was still pinned to the ground by Herr Flick’s knives.
“Set me free!” he cried. “I’ll give you the Stone of Life!”
“What?” said Donnie. “But the Ringmaster’s got the Stone.”
“Oh no, he hasn’t,” said the Human Statue. “It’s in my pocket. I swapped it for an ordinary stone when I attacked him.”
Chuck reached into the Human Statue’s pocket and pulled out a stone.
“How do we know this isn’t just an ordinary stone?” asked Donnie. “Why should we believe you?”
“Just try it,” said the Human Statue. “Then you’ll see that I’m telling the truth. Now set me free!”
“No chance,” said Bruce. “The police will deal with you.”
“Statues of London,” shouted Chuck, holding the Stone of Life aloft. “It’s now time to return to your plinths and to your natural state.”
The statues got up obediently and began to make their way out of the park, leaving the meerkats guarding the Human Statue. They were just discussing their next move when Major Works appeared.
“Stammering statues!” he exclaimed. “Excellent work, meerkats. The Clan of the Scorpion is a team to be reckoned with. I’ve been observing your movements on the surveillance cameras. It took a while to find you after you disobeyed my orders.”
“Ninjas do not follow orders. We get the job done,” said Chuck. “If you want someone to take orders, I suggest you get a waiter.”
“I wouldn’t mind being a waiter,” said Bruce. “As long as I got to eat all the leftovers.”
“Here is the Stone of Life,” said Chuck, handing the Stone to Major Works. “Our original mission was to recover the orb, which we have not done. But I think this man will be able to help you with that.”
“Ah, the Human Statue,” said Major Works. “The police will be delighted to have him back behind bars.”
The major looked down at the pitiful figure of the Human Statue, struggling helplessly to free himself. He turned back to the meerkats. “Thank you, Clan of the Scorpion—your assistance on this mission has been very impressive. Would you consider continuing your work for the Secret Secret Service? You’d make excellent spies—especially you, Agent Flashfeet.”
“Thanks,” said Jet, “but I think I’m a better ninja than spy.”
“We couldn’t stay here,” said Chuck. “The Ringmaster is still at large. We must continue in our efforts to stop his plans for world domination.”
“Very well,” said Major Works. “I’ll arrange for a special spy plane to fly you back to your base.”
“You mean we don’t have to hide in the luggage compartment?” said Bruce.
“That’s right,” said Major Works. “Our spy planes have the latest films and top-notch catering.”
“Movies? Food?” exclaimed Bruce. “Can’t we become spies after all?”
“Maybe we could pop back and work for the major over the Christmas holidays,” suggested Donnie.
“Christmas? Why Christmas?” asked Major Works.
“Then we could be mince spies,” Donnie chuckled.
Two fishermen stood on the beach, watching the row boat make its way out to sea.
“Where do you think it’s going?” asked one of the men.
“Looks like it’s heading for Dragon Island,” replied the other, pointing to an ominous-looking island with a huge volcano at its center sending out red smoke into the sky.
“My cousin told me the island’s name is because of the dragon smoke that billows from its center,” said the first fisherman.
“Your cousin is a superstitious fool,” said the other. “The smoke comes from the volcano.”
“So why does it turn red every five years?”
“No one knows. I even swam to the island as a boy to try to find out, but there’s nothing there other than wild lemurs.”
Had the two fishermen seen the boat up close, they would have realized that the rower was a shop dummy, disguised as a fisherman. It was being operated by a remote control held by one of four ninja meerkats onboard.
“Another brilliant disguise, Donnie,” said Chuck.
“Thanks,” replied Donnie. “I call it the M.O.R.B.—Mannequin Operated Rowing Boat.”
“Why do we need a disguise anyway?” asked Bruce.
“The invitation said we should arrive in secret,” replied Chuck.
“The invitation for me to be crowned the Ultimate Dragon Warrior,” added Jet. “Ninja-boom!” He leaped up and punched the air.
“Jet,” shouted Donnie. “You’re rocking—”
“You’re right,” Jet interrupted. “Being invited to compete in the most awesome kung-fu contest in the world is rocking, isn’t it?”
“I mean, you’re rocking the boat,” said Donnie. “Besides, the invitation was for all of us. Any one of us could win.”
“Ha! It’s bound to be me,” said Jet.
“Jet, boasting is not a good thing,” said Chuck.
“Yeah, my uncle almost died when it happened to him,” said Bruce.
“He died from boasting?” asked Donnie.
“Yep,” said Bruce. “It turned out he was allergic.”
“I believe that was a bee sting, Bruce,” said Chuck. “And actually, it could be that none of us takes home the title. Remember, the invitation said there would be eight competitors in total.”
“I’ll scare off the competition with my Super-charged Shock Attack!” said Jet.
“What’s that?” asked Bruce.
“It’s my new move,” explained Jet. “You rub your feet on the ground and charge yourself up with static electricity, then use it to shock your opponent.”
Donnie smirked. “If you want to shock them, just tell them how long you spent looking in the mirror this morning.”
As the boat got closer to the island, the red smoke from the volcano blocked out the sun and threw the boat into the shadow of the island.
“Donnie, what did your background check reveal about this island?” asked Chuck.
“Very little,” replied Donnie. “It’s named Dragon Island because of the red smoke, but everything else is a mystery.”
“Ooh, spooky,” said Bruce.
“Are we sure this isn’t one of the Ringmaster’s traps?” asked Chuck. “A strange invitation, a remote island—I wouldn’t put it past him.”
“No way,” said Jet. “The Trials of Dragon Island are legendary. Once every five years, when the volcano smoke turns red, the world’s finest martial-arts fighters are summoned to compete for the title of Ultimate Dragon Warrior.”
GOFISH
QUESTIONS FOR THE AUTHOR
Gareth P. Jones
What did you want to be when you grew up?
At various points, a w
riter, a musician, an intergalactic bounty hunter and, for a limited period, a graphic designer. (I didn’t know what that meant, but I liked the way it sounded.)
When did you realize you wanted to be a writer?
I don’t remember realizing it. I have always loved stories. From a very young age, I enjoyed making them up. As I’m not very good at making things up on the spot, this invariably involved having to write them down.
What’s an embarrassing childhood memory?
Seriously? There are too many. I have spent my entire life saying and doing embarrassing things. Just thinking about some of them is making me cringe. Luckily, I have a terrible memory, so I can’t remember them all, but no, I’m not going to write any down for you. If I did that, I’d never be able to forget them.
What’s your favorite childhood memory?
To be honest with you, I don’t remember my childhood very well at all (I told you I had a bad memory), but I do recall how my dad used to tell me stories. He would make them up as he went along, most likely borrowing all sorts of elements from the books he was reading without me knowing.
As a young person, who did you look up to most?
My mom and dad, Prince, Michael Jackson, all of Monty Python, and Stephen Fry.
What was your favorite thing about school?
Laughing with my friends.
What was your least favorite thing about school?
I had a bit of a hard time when I moved from the Midlands to London at the age of twelve because I had a funny accent. But don’t worry, it was all right in the end.
What were your hobbies as a kid? What are your hobbies now?
I love listening to and making music. My hobbies haven’t really changed over the years, except that there’s a longer list of instruments now. When I get a chance, I like idling away the day playing trumpet, guitar, banjo, ukulele, mandolin (and piano if there’s one in the vicinity). I also like playing out with my friends.
What was your first job, and what was your “worst” job?
My first job was working as a waiter. That’s probably my worst job, too. As my dad says, I was a remarkably grumpy waiter. I’m not big on all that serving-people malarkey.
What book is on your nightstand now?
I have a pile of books from my new publisher. I’m trying to get through them before I meet the authors. I’m halfway through Maggot Moon by Sally Gardner, which is written in the amazing voice of a dyslexic boy.
How did you celebrate publishing your first book?
The first time I saw one of my books in a shop, I was so excited that I caused something of a commotion. I managed to persuade an unsuspecting customer to buy it so I could sign it for her son.
Where do you write your books?
Anywhere and everywhere. Here are some of the locations I have written the Ninja Meerkats series: On the 185 and the 176 buses in London, various airplanes, Hong Kong, Melbourne, all over New Zealand, a number of cafes and bars between San Diego and San Francisco, New Quay in South Wales, and my kitchen.
What sparked your imagination for the Ninja Meerkats?
The idea came from the publishing house, but from the moment I heard it, I really wanted to write it. It reminded me of lots of action-packed cartoons I used to watch when I was young. I love the fact that I get to cram in lots of jokes and puns, fast action, and crazy outlandish plots.
The Ninja Meerkats are awesome fighters; have you ever studied martial arts? If so, what types?
Ha, no. If I was to get into a fight, my tactic would be to fall over and hope that whoever was attacking me lost interest.
If you were a Ninja Meerkat, what would your name be?
Hmm, how about Gareth POW! Jones?
What’s your favorite exhibit or animal at the zoo?
Funnily enough, I like the meerkats. I was at a zoo watching them the other day when it started to rain. They suddenly ran for cover, looking exactly like their human visitors.
What’s Bruce’s favorite food?
Anything with the words ALL YOU CAN EAT written above it.
If you had a catchphrase like Bruce Force! or Ninja-Boom! what would it be?
That’s a tricky one. How about PEN POWER!
If you were a Ninja Meerkat, what would your special ninja skill be?
I like to think I’d be like Jet, and always working on a new skill. When I got into school, I took the Random Move Generator! We used it to come up with new moves, like the Floating Butterfly Punch and the Ultimate Lemon Punch.
What is your favorite thing about real-life meerkats? Have you ever met a meerkat?
I was lucky enough to go into a meerkat enclosure recently. They were crawling all over me, trying to get a good view. It was brilliant.
What challenges do you face in the writing process, and how do you overcome them?
The challenge with writing the Ninja Meerkats books is mostly about the plotting. It’s trying to get all the twists and turns to work, and to avoid them feeling predictable. When I hit problems, I write down as many options as I can think of from the completely ordinary to utterly ridiculous. Once they’re all down on paper, the right answer normally jumps out at me.
Which of your characters is most like you?
I’d like to say that I’m wise and noble like Chuck, but I’m probably more like the Ringmaster as we’re both always coming up with new ways to take over the world.
What makes you laugh out loud?
My friends.
What do you do on a rainy day?
Play guitar, write, watch TV, or go out with my sword-handled umbrella.
What’s your idea of fun?
Answering questionnaires about myself. Actually, tomorrow, I’m going to a music festival with my wife where we will dance and cavort. That should be fun.
What’s your favorite song?
There are far too many to mention, but today I think I’ll go for “Feel Good Inc.” by Gorillaz.
Who is your favorite fictional character?
Another tricky one, but today I’ll say Ged from the Earthsea Trilogy by Ursula K. Le Guin.
What was your favorite book when you were a kid?
As a child, I especially loved The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster.
What’s your favorite TV show or movie?
Raiders of the Lost Ark.
If you were stranded on a desert island, who would you want for company?
My wife and son, then probably my friend Pete, as he’s really handy and would be able to make and build things.
If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go and what would you do?
I’d like to go to Canada next. Ideally, I’d like to go and live there for a bit. I’ve never been to South America. There are also lots of parts of America I haven’t visited yet.
If you could travel in time, where would you go and what would you do?
I think I’d travel to the future and see what’s changed and whether anyone’s invented a new kind of umbrella.
What’s the best advice you have ever received about writing?
Don’t tell the story, show the story.
What advice do you wish someone had given you when you were younger?
Everything’s probably going to be fine, so it’s best to enjoy yourself.
Do you ever get writer’s block? What do you do to get back on track?
It feels like tempting fate, but I don’t really believe in writer’s block. I think if you can’t write, you’re doing the wrong thing. You may need to plan or jot down options or go for a walk.
What do you want readers to remember about your books?
I’d settle for a general feeling of having enjoyed them.
What would you do if you ever stopped writing?
I’d do a full stop. If this is for an American audience, I guess that would be a period.
What should people know about you?
I’m a very silly man.
What do you like best about yourself?
>
I’m a very silly man.
Do you have any strange or funny habits? Did you when you were a kid?
I talk to myself a lot, which is probably pretty common, but the difference is that I don’t listen to what I’m saying.
Read all the Ninja Meerkats adventures!
The Clan of the Scorpion (#1)
The Eye of the Monkey (#2)
Escape from Ice Mountain (#3)
Hollywood Showdown (#4)
The Tomb of Doom (#5)
Big City Bust-Up (#6)
The Ultimate Dragon Warrior (#7)
available Winter 2014
Outback Attack (#8)
available Winter 2014
An Imprint of Macmillan
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NINJA MEERKATS: BIG CITY BUST-UP.
Text copyright © 2012 by Gareth P. Jones.
Illustrations copyright © 2012 by Artful Doodlers.
Cover illustration copyright © 2012 by Vince Verma.
All rights reserved.
The right of Gareth P. Jones and Artful Doodlers to be the author and illustrator of this work respectively has been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Available
ISBN 978-1-250-03403-8 (paperback) / ISBN 978-1-250-04599-7 (e-book)
Originally published in Great Britain by Stripes Publishing
First Square Fish Edition: 2013
Square Fish logo designed by Filomena Tuosto
eISBN 9781250045997