by Dante King
The girls who hadn’t been here before pressed their faces to the window, oohing and aahing at every little thing. Sure, the sunsets were supernaturally beautiful, the colors so much brighter and more vibrant than they were in the Infernal or Celestial Realms.
But those of us who’d been here knew that fairy tale image concealed a dark secret—something sinister lying beneath the gentle heart of this Realm.
Yet it was hard to remember that when the place was so… well, empty. I’d expected to have to fight our way to the Island of Avalon, the same way we’d had to fight to keep the Fae out of the Infernal Academy, but no one seemed interested in stepping through the gate we’d opened. It made me wonder why we’d fought so hard in the first place.
As the Humvee rolled through emerald hills, I found myself wondering about that fight. The Angel of Vengeance wasn’t far from my mind—I remembered how Holofernes had cut through the Fae like a hot knife through butter, littering the battlefield with elven corpses.
If a creature like that couldn’t fight his way out of the Fae Realm in one piece, what chance did Oni and I have? Was Holofernes still alive somehow, stranded out in the Fae? And what would happen if I brought him home?
Clearly, I wasn’t the only one thinking these thoughts.
“We should look for Holofernes,” Maddie said, taking my hand from the passenger seat. “At the very least, ask these Seelie Fae about him. Maybe the Unseelie didn’t kill him—just took him captive. It’s hard to imagine the Angel of Vengeance could even be killed in the first place…”
“If he’s alive,” I said, shaking my head, “then he’s got one hell of a score to settle with Judyth.”
The atmosphere in the Humvee grew awkward. My whole harem knew the story by now—Judyth Dominia had pulled me and the rest of my crew out of the liminal zone as the portal to the Infernal Academy collapsed, but left the Angel of Vengeance high and dry.
Judyth had watched as the portal closed, smiling faintly to herself as legions of Fae surrounded the lone figure of Holofernes on the battlefield.
What was worse was this: his fate could easily become ours, as well. We were outnumbered in this vicious land, completely cut off from aid via the Infernal or Celestial Realms. As Lilith had told me, no one would stick their necks out for us—we were a lone group, trying to reclaim my personal demon.
“Where is Judyth?” Eiko asked, shifting in the backseat. The former instructor sat cross-legged on the leather seats. “She took off from the Celestial Academy without telling anyone where she was going. I’d feel a hell of a lot better if I knew she wasn’t about to hop out from behind some bush.”
As would I.
Just then, Godfrey slowed to a stop. The Humvee mostly drove itself; I didn’t have to do a thing except hang out and banter with my harem. Except when there was a decision to make—like right now.
“What’s going on?” I asked, leaning out of the window.
Something colorful lay in the road ahead, blocking our path.
“It appears to be a cart, Master,” came Godfrey’s maniacally chipper voice. “From the looks of it, it broke down recently. Either that or the elements are far kinder in the Fae Realm than on Earth…”
“Could be,” I mused. “Or it could be a setup.”
I leaned in, bringing Godfrey in closer to get a better look at the thing. The cart looked like something out of an old movie about the Romani, or a carriage used by a traveling circus. It was a garish thing, made of reds and greens and blues that seared the eye to look at too long. Maybe that’s just how the Fae used color palettes, perhaps.
Either way, the thing was broken down and couldn’t move.
“Do we know of any way to get around it?” I asked, scanning the horizon for other paths. “I don’t really want to destroy it, but if there’s no other way…”
“I could gladly destroy it for you!” Godfrey chorused. “Would you like me to bring the main guns online, Master? Or would you prefer me to use the in-built flamethrower?”
“Flamethrower!?” I asked.
“Wait!” a little voice in the path ahead shouted.
My harem and I froze as one.
As we watched, a pixie girl who couldn’t have been more than five feet tall ran out from behind the overturned cart. She had long, straight blonde hair, and diaphanous wings like a butterfly’s sticking out from behind her back. Her outfit was pastel pink, clinging to her ample curves like a second skin. She looked like the offspring of a human man and a goblin girl, given a fairy makeover shortly after birth.
I liked her instantly.
“Please don’t destroy my cart!” the pixie cried, running over to the driver’s side door. “It’s my entire livelihood! I’ll starve without it!”
I stared at the cute little pixie’s face, sensing a trap. Yet she looked open and honest.
“What’s your name?” I asked, unnecessarily blunt.
The pixie’s cheeks colored, but she answered. “My friends call me Poppy,” she said, cheerfully sidestepping the question.
We’re in the Fae, I thought. People don’t give out their real names here.
“Hi, Poppy,” I said, glancing over my shoulder at my harem. “What happened to your cart?”
The young woman looked gratified to have been asked.
“Oh, it was horrible!” she cried, tugging at her long blonde locks. “The Unseelie attacked it, just because I haven’t paid my taxes to them in a while. They’re awful monsters!”
“Uh huh,” I said. “How long is ‘a while’?”
Poppy flashed a gotcha grin. “A couple years?”
I started thinking. Lilith had warned me about trusting the Fae, but this girl looked like my best bet at finding the Island of Avalon. If we ran into any more trouble along the way, having one of the Fae on our side would be a powerful help toward dispelling any suspicion. As long as I didn’t break any of the rules, I’d be fine.
As long as.
“I’m guessing you need someone to tow the thing out of the road,” I said, nodding at the overturned cart.
“Oh, yes!” Poppy put her hands together beneath her ample breasts. “If you’d do that for me, I’d be ever so grateful! You don’t even need to take it anywhere—just get it out of the road so I can have some of my Seelie friends slap on a new axle. They’ll gladly repay your kindness!”
This was sounding better and better.
“I think we can do that,” I said, ignoring some of the glances from the back seat.
“Goodie!” Poppy’s enthusiasm was infectious—I found myself smiling at the sight of it. “Who should I tell the Seelie helped me out of this jam?”
“My name is—” I said, catching myself just in time.
Poppy’s smile grew just a touch more predatory, a knowing look entering her eyes.
“He likes to be called Master,” Mareth yelled from the center console.
“Or Daddy,” Raquelle added from the backseat.
Poppy’s face was a mask of shock.
“Oh, neither of those would do at all!” she said, for all the world as if she hadn’t just tried to steal my name and probably my soul ten seconds ago. “I’ll have to use something else! What do your Mom and Dad call you?”
I wasn’t falling for it.
“‘Archlord’ will work fine,” I said, narrowing my eyes at the petite pixie. “What you just tried to do was very unkind, by the way.”
“You can’t blame a girl for trying,” Poppy said, batting her long eyelashes. “Newcomers are always such fun sport! And I can tell you and your group are going to be even more fun than usual, Archlord!”
A heavy sigh escaped my lips. “I’m sure. Let’s just get this damned thing out of the road.”
Having Poppy try to steal my name put a big damper on the whole first contact thing.
The one bright point was that it was no great difficulty to move the cart—Christina and Mareth managed it in short order, each lifting one side of the garish vehicle between them. Toge
ther, they flipped it upright, then slid it over into some bushes, leaving the path open to foot and vehicle traffic.
“Oh, wonderful!” Poppy was almost beside herself with glee. “That is simply such a delight.” The petite pixie pulled a waterbag from behind her back. “You two must be exhausted after lifting so much! Here, come wet your whistles!”
Mareth actually had the bag of water in her hand before she caught herself. When she realized what she’d nearly done, she tossed the thing to the ground and sprang backward like it was a live viper.
“Aww, you’re not thirsty?” Again, Poppy seemed not in the least put out by our refusal, and not freaked in the slightest at trying to steal our names, souls, and identities. Later on, I’d realize this was all standard behavior among the Fae, and that unlike us, they didn’t take these sorts of things personally. But at the time, it pissed me off something fierce.
“No food or drink in the Fae Realm,” Christina reminded her succubus bestie, wiggling a finger. “Shit, you almost owed Poppy a big-ass favor…”
“It would have been a sweet one, I assure you,” the pixie said, looking the succubus up and down. “Besides, cuties like you two would have sooo much fun being bound to the Fae Realm. We would have so much fun together, I promise…”
“I’m sure,” Mareth said after a moment’s thought. “But I’d much rather be bound to L… to Archlord.”
Poppy grinned at the near-miss.
“You’re doing very well,” she said, patting Mareth on the shoulder sympathetically. “That’s two attempts you’ve thwarted now, succubus!” Her smile never wavered as she said it, as if she really was proud of Mareth.
Creepy.
“Alright, listen up,” I told Poppy, cutting through her attempts to trip us up. “We’ve helped you, so now by Fae law, you have to help us. We want you to accompany us to the Island of Avalon, so we can meet up with the Fae known as ‘Siobhan.’ Will you do it?”
What had been polite interest in Poppy only moments ago deepened into a genuine fit of pique.
“You’re going to Siobhan!?” the pixie said, her face lighting up. “Oh, but why? You must tell me, please!”
I shook my head. “Maybe she’ll tell you, when we get there. We’re not playing your games.”
Poppy tittered behind her fingers, as if what I’d just said was a great joke.
“Games are all there is,” she said, as if she were explaining that things fell downward because of gravity, or why the sky was blue. “War games, love games, dominance and submission games… that’s what life is. That’s what humans are. And nonhumans. We’re games.”
“We’ll just have to agree to disagree,” I said flatly.
Poppy’s smile widened, and suddenly I could tell she was turned on.
“Spend some more time in the Fae Realm with me,” she promised, going from giggly to coolly seductive, “and I’ll be happy to show you. Maybe if you’re good enough with that tongue of yours, you’ll even get me to blab my true name…”
Poppy trailed off, right when the conversation was getting good. Something growled in the underbrush, and the tiny pixie went nearly apoplectic with fright.
“Let’s get out of here!” she cried, running for the side door of my Humvee.
“Huh? What’s going on?” I asked.
Christina and Mareth, maybe sensing the way the atmosphere had changed, hurried into the Humvee along with her. I didn’t feel quite right having one of the Fae in my vehicle, but it couldn’t be helped. Besides, Poppy seemed to be playing fairly along the rules of the Fae.
“We need to go!” Poppy screamed. “Now!”
“But the cart—” I began.
“Fuck the cart!” Her voice was a shrill scream. “Go! Now!”
I didn’t need her to tell me again.
I hit the gas and let Godfrey take over, tear-assing through the forest like a bat out of Hell.
Trees whipped around the vehicle as the growling sound grew louder—a few moments later, the sound of something crunching joined it. Were those trees being smashed beneath this thing’s heels?
“What the fuck is it!?” I yelled, glancing toward Poppy in the backseat. She’d fit herself snugly between Raquelle and Eiko, as if she’d belonged there the whole time. “What is that thing!?”
“We have to get to the bridge,” Poppy sobbed, sounding on the verge of hysteria. “Tell your vehicle we have to make it to the Avalon Bridge! The creature cannot cross it!”
Shit. Well, that was small comfort, at least.
“Fucking step on it, car!” I roared. I didn’t know if Poppy could steal the name of a sentient automobile, but I wasn’t about to take any chances.
Even with the Humvee redlining, the sounds of pursuit grew thicker.
In my rearview mirror, I saw trees being knocked down, like a whole fucking logging crew was hot on our heels. What the hell was this thing? Whatever it was, it was either crazy big, crazy powerful, or both. Maybe just crazy.
The car shot out of the woods like an arrow. Just up ahead loomed a brilliant sapphire river, with a white stone bridge crossing it.
Poppy shot out of the backseat and landed in Maddie’s lap, babbling as she pointed at the bridge.
“There it is! Go, go, get to the other side!”
The roar behind us became a howl of rage as we reached the bridge. Whatever this thing was, it knew we were almost out of its range, and it wanted us bad. At the time I had no idea why—I just knew we had to get away, before our whole expedition into the Fae Realm was shot to hell.
Poppy didn’t relax until we were all the way on the other side.
Then the tiny pixie slumped against Maddie’s tits, burying her face in the angel’s cleavage like she wanted to motorboat her.
“Thank the Realm,” the pixie whimpered, climbing out of the side door. “That was so close!”
I hopped out too, to get a look at the thing. Whatever creature it was, I needed to get a look at it. I had to know what I was fighting, especially if we ran into it again.
But as it stepped out from behind the trees, I realized I could skip that step. I already knew this one.
Holofernes, the Angel of Vengeance, stood on the other side of the stone bridge. Veins of darkness bulged beneath his marble skin, giving him the look of a corrupted demon. His eyes glowed the deep red of a forge, twin coals in his cruel, frozen sneer.
“Holofernes, it’s me!” I yelled, racing to the edge of the bridge. “It’s the Archlord! It’s me!”
The Angel of Vengeance didn’t hear. As I stood there, calling out for him, he melted into the treeline and disappeared.
Chapter 11
The disappearance of the Angel of Vengeance into the forest filled me and my harem with a bone-deep sense of unease.
I’d entertained any number of theories about what might have happened to Holofernes inside of the Fae Realm, but none of them had been this horrible. Even death seemed preferable to the fate that had apparently overcome the Angel of Vengeance.
What dread spirit lurked behind those burning red eyes?
I didn’t have long to think about it.
As the danger from our pursuer faded, Poppy relaxed and pointed our way further toward the center of the Island of Avalon.
“That was close,” the petite pixie purred, brushing a lock of her long hair out of her face. “Look, no more funny business, okay? I’ll take you to Siobhan. After a scare like that, I’m in no mood to harvest names from mortals.”
I trusted Poppy and her new resolve to leave me and my harem alone about as much as I trusted Lilith not to try and fuck me over.
But it was a start, at least.
“Fine,” I said, climbing back into the Humvee. “Stay in my girlfriend’s lap, by the way. If there’s guards watching over this Fae encampment, I might need you to talk our way in.”
As it turned out, I was right on the money. The renegade Fae had installed themselves right at the center of the island, building their encampment around a deca
ying, moss-covered castle that looked like something out of an Arthurian legend. Mists rolled across the green mossy hills, obscuring our view and forcing Godfrey to slow down as we drove up to the camp.
My Humvee’s headlights barely illuminated ten feet ahead of us. As a result, the Fae were on us before we even knew they were there.
“Halt!” a voice called from the side of the road.
Even with my window rolled halfway up, it sounded like the speaker was inches from my ear.
Magic amplification, I thought.
“Who goes there?” the voice called again.
All I can say is, thank God for Poppy. If the little pixie hadn’t been with us, our first trip to Siobhan’s camp might have been covered in blood.
“It’s Poppy!” the pixie yelled, leaning out of the window like a dog on a car trip. “It’s okay—I’ve brought friends!”
The fog parted, and an elf carrying a spear stepped up to the driver’s side of the Humvee. His ageless face filled with shock as he realized who he’d just stopped.
“The Archlord candidate,” the man whispered, tucking the spear behind his blonde head. “We have been expecting you. That was very close, indeed.”
“Yeah, you almost got your ass kicked,” Mareth giggled. The succubus had her tits pressed against her own window, as if she wanted to tease the elves with her taut little body. They could look, but they couldn’t touch—that hot little demon girl belonged to me. “Let us in, dude. The Archlord has an appointment to keep.”
The guards didn’t like our attitude, but they parted to let us through. The mists did the same thing as we drove into camp, lifting like an enchantment being dispelled.
Yep, I thought, taking my hands off the steering wheel and letting Godfrey guide us the last bit of the way. Definitely magical.
The Fae had already cleared a place for my vehicle. It seemed we truly were expected, after all.
As the Humvee rolled to a stop, Poppy tensed up in Maddie’s lap, throwing her legs over the gear shift.
“Hey,” the pixie said, flapping her wings. “Listen to me for a minute?”
I gave her a sideways glance. I could tell I wasn’t going to like this.