by Ford, Brenda
“I’m so scared of what might happen.”
“And that’s why we have to do this. Rose, living in fear is no way to live.”
8
Darren
As it grew late, I could tell that Rose was reluctant to go home alone so I didn’t hesitate to invite her to stay the night at mine.
She comes back to my condo and I let her borrow a shirt for her to wear as a nightdress. I’ve always liked a girl wearing my clothes, but Rose turns it into an art. Her legs look incredibly long from underneath the blue shirt even though she’s only petite. Her skin is tan from the Nevada sun, her legs perfectly smooth.
“I feel so much at home here,” she says. “It doesn’t seem like I’ve only been here once before.”
“I’m glad you feel welcome.”
“It’s more than that.” She stands on her tiptoes to kiss me. “I feel safe.”
Her words make me feel a hundred feet tall. I’ve fought terrorists and soldiers, been faced with gunfire and ammunition, but nothing makes me feel as strong and needed as Rose when she has that look in her eyes.
“I’m going to look after you. It’s a promise.”
“I believe you.” She smiles. “At least for now neither my father nor Silvio would think of coming here to search for me.”
“They’re not going to be searching for you anyway.” I pop open the cork on a bottle of wine and pour her a glass. “You’re not on the run.”
She frowns. “I’m not so sure, Darren. That’s exactly how I feel.”
We go to the sofa and she curls up against me. The TV is on low volume in the background, keeping a steady background buzz to the silence and creating the dim, flickering light we sit in.
We drink wine together, casually watching the television for some time. It’s a cozy kind of comfort I’d not experienced before.
“You must be used to danger,” Rose says during an advert break. “You must have faced all kinds of trouble when you were serving.”
“That’s what you sign up for.”
“Where did you serve? I don’t think I’ve ever asked you.”
“I don’t talk about it much. Some of it is classified, and some of it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.”
She cuddles up against me. “We don’t have to talk about it.”
I consider for a moment. My military life has rarely met my civilian life with the exception of my friendship with Jake. I’ve never thought about where I’d draw the line when it came to discussing duty with a girlfriend. Is Rose my girlfriend?
“I was part of the Yakla Raid in 2017 against Al-Qaeda.”
“Oh my god.” Rose sits upright. “I didn’t realize you’d seen that kind of action.”
“I can never decide if it’s something I’m proud of or not. They tell me I’ve served my country and prevented terrorism in the US, but I know women and children died that day. I saw and heard things I can never forget.”
“I think my father’s right,” Rose tells me, falling quiet. “He told me I’ve been spoiled my whole life and that I’ve never faced any kind of hardship. Someone like you must think I’m a silly little girl with my problems when you’ve seen the face of war.”
I kiss her softly. “I don’t think any such thing. I chose war and I was trained for it. You weren’t prepared to find out your father was a criminal.”
She winces. “I hate to think of him that way. In my head, he’s just my Papà—the man who bought me a piñata for my tenth birthday; the man who pretended to love the food I tried to cook when I was twelve; the man who welled up with pride when he saw me in my prom dress.”
Rose lets out a long sigh. “He’s always protected me and made sure I’m safe. He’s provided for me. He’s never been an absent father. He used to read me a story before bed every night. How am I meant to reconcile those memories with this other side of him I’ve seen?”
“By moving on before those memories can be poisoned by these new and cruel motives of his. If you do what he wants, you’ll only end up hating him.”
“I know.” She places her wine glass down on the coffee table and pulls up her feet underneath her, resting her head on my shoulder and looking up at me with curiosity. “Are you close with your father?”
My laugh is bitter. “Not at all.”
“Oh.”
I can tell there are questions she’s too polite to ask. I make the choice to tell her more. “He was a womanizer and a bully. My mom finally kicked him out when she found him in bed with yet another woman for the third or fourth time. After he was gone, it was her turn to play the field. She was never home and when she was, she’d bring back men who didn’t think much of me. I was an afterthought to them both, so I left. Never heard from either of them again.”
“How old were you?”
I try to remember. “Maybe seventeen or so when I decided I was better off alone.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. I didn’t know.” She sits up suddenly, looking around at me with a guilty expression. “I hardly know anything about you, Darren. Did you realize that? I can’t let you put yourself at risk for me. Sure, we’ve fancied each other forever, but that’s not enough for you to put your neck on the line for me.”
“If that story told you anything, it should be that there are few people in my life who matter to me. You’re one of them.” I stroke back her hair from her sweet face. “I’m in this with you. You’re not going to get rid of me that easily.”
“I’m a fool for having lived this way for so long.” She reaches for her glass again and takes a long drink of wine. “It never occurred to me to go to school to study or train to do anything with my life outside that damned casino. I knew I’d be taken care of and I took it for granted. Now I’ve made the bed I’ve got to lie in. I didn’t give myself a back-up plan.”
“I’m sure most people in your position would have done the same.”
“My dad’s right. I have no character.”
“That’s not true, Rose. You’ve got tonnes of character.” I pull her back towards me and put my arm around her. “You’re kind, witty, and resilient.”
“Resilient? That’s the last word I’d used to describe me.”
“You will be,” I promise her. “Tomorrow you’re going to tell your father that you’ve already married me and then you’ll walk away. And when you’re living your new life, free from him and happy, you’ll realize you were always resilient—you’d just never tested yourself.”
* * *
“Maybe I shouldn’t speak to him today.” Rose sits up in bed and rubs her face with her hands. “Maybe I should wait until the weekend.”
“The longer you wait, the harder it will be.”
“There’s no way he’s going to believe it.”
I take her hand and give it a gentle squeeze. She looks so vulnerable in the morning light, free of her makeup and high heels. She keeps biting down on her lip in nerves and fiddling with the edge of the bedsheets. She’s been talking herself around in circles for the best part of an hour.
“Besides,” I say,” I’m going to be with you.”
Her head snaps around. “No, you won’t.”
“Of course I will be. You think I’m going to let you go there alone after all you’ve told me?”
“No. You’ve done enough.” She stands and stretches then pulls open the drapes and looks outside. She folds her arms across her chest and sighs, her gaze taking on a thousand-yard stare. She turns back to me, leaning back against the windowsill. “My father won’t hurt me and neither will Silvio. But I don’t trust either of them not to hurt you.”
“I don’t think they’d do anything to either of us, Rose. Your father is insane if he thinks he can force you to marry anyone.”
“If I say no, he’ll find a way to scare me into it. Hurting you would be a good start.”
I go to her and wrap my arms around her. She lays her head against my chest in a defeated posture. I kiss her forehead. “I’ll be prepared for a knock on the door
. Don’t worry about it.”
“I’d rather you weren’t here for a while.”
“At my home?”
She nods. “They know where you live.”
“Rose, I know you’re scared, but maybe Raffaele’s simply got your head running a bit with his talk of mafia and criminal underworlds. You weren’t afraid of your father before.”
“It’s not just that. If you’d seen the way my father spoke to me the other day; if you’d seen him punching the wall…you’d know I’m not blowing this out of proportion.”
“I’m going with you.”
“No, Darren.” She lifts her gaze and meets my eyes sternly. “I mean it.”
“What am I meant to do then? Just stay here worrying about you?”
“You can wait in the car outside. We’ll leave together and if anything happens while I’m in there or I’m in there too long, you can come find me. Otherwise, you just stay put out of sight and out of harm’s way.”
9
Rose
I should have known Silvio would be here. My father and brother are rarely at the casino during daylight hours. They prefer to show up in the cover of darkness like foxes on the hunt. Apparently, this is where they spend their time before 10:00pm—cozied up in the drawing-room at Casa di Russo.
They both look up when I enter. They don’t seem surprised to see me. My father has a smug look on his face as if confident I’ve come crawling back to do as he’s commanded. They’re both drinking red wine. My father lays down his glass on the opulent carved coffee table between them.
“Rose. I trust you’ve come to tell me you’ve made up your mind?”
“It’s time I confessed something to you both. I can’t marry Raffaele because I’m already married. I have been for several months.”
My father draws in a sharp breath through his teeth and his skin grows pale. He bows his head in the most excruciating silence. I can see his hands curling into fists.
Silvio stands to confront me. “Who?”
My heart is beating so fast. I don’t want to give Darren’s name but it’s the only way to lend any credibility to this lie.
“Darren.”
“From my team?” Silvio swipes his arm in fury across the side table next to him, sending a pile of books and a chess set smashing to the hardwood floor.
I jump at the noise and take a step back. “I knew neither of you would accept me dating anyone you hadn’t chosen so we got married in secret months ago. That way, if you found out, it would be too late to stop me from seeing him.”
“I should have known.” Silvio draws back his lips from his teeth in a vicious snarl. “I’ve seen the way you flaunt yourself in front of him and he’s hardly been able to keep his eyes in his damned skull. I should have put a stop to it a long time ago.”
My father has said nothing but now he turns in his leather chair and lifts his head to face me. “You got married without your father there to give you away?” He shakes his head in disgust. “You disappoint me, Rose. I’m disgusted with you.”
It’s taking all my courage to stay standing. I’m scared of both of them and to hear them berating me together this way puts my emotions through the shredder. My whole family is staring me down with revulsion in their eyes.
I lift my chin defiantly and meet my father’s eye. “What was I supposed to do, Papà?” I raise my hands helplessly. “You watch my every move. You monitor my every relationship. I was in love. I did what I had to do to be happy.”
“You’ve made a terrible mistake.” He rises to his feet and points at me. “You’ve lost everything today, my daughter. You are no longer welcome in my home, you no longer work in my casino. That apartment you’ve been living in belongs to me. I want you out. Don’t bother collecting your things—I bought them all. You have nothing.”
I blink back tears, swallow, and nod. “If that’s the way you want it, Papà.”
He snarls. “You arrogant, foolish girl. You’ve thrown away all of this to chase after a handsome face. He won’t provide for you. As soon as you grow tired of him, you’ll find yourself on the street and I won’t be extending the hand of friendship then.”
“As you wish it.”
Silvio shakes his head in disbelief. “I never realized my own sister was so stupid.” He paces the room in a rage. His voice rises in anger. “Do you know what kind of danger you’ve put your family in?”
“What kind of danger I’ve put you in?” I step forward boldly, squaring up to Silvio for the first time in my life. He’s a head taller than me and much broader, but I stand my ground. “I’m not the one who’s been doing shady business with dangerous people. You may want to be some kind of gangster but I never chose that life.”
“You weren’t shy about benefitting from it. Now it’s time to play your part, you’ve decided to play the innocent little girl.”
“I am innocent, Silvio.” I step back from him and wave my arms in frustration. “I’m a waitress. Turning a blind eye to whatever you’ve been doing doesn’t make me part of it. I’m don’t want your life.” I turn to my father defiantly. “And I don’t want your blood money. This whole thing with Raffaele has only confirmed what I always suspected but never knew for sure—you’re both criminals.”
My father’s anger dissipates for just a moment and I see a momentary flash of a heartbroken man. He nods slowly. “This is not the way I wanted things, Rose. But if this is the path you’ve chosen to take then I wash my hands of you. Get out of my house.”
“You’re dead to this family,” Silvio hisses. “And tell Darren, the miserable traitor, that if I ever see him in any of our casinos again—in fact, if I ever see him on a street where I might be walking—then he’d better be watching his back.”
Sorrow shrouds me like a cold mist. So this is how it ends. If I were really married, there would be no joy or congratulations—only condemnation. It’s proof if I ever needed it that my father wasn’t bluffing. It’s always been his way or the highway, and though I may have traveled his path up to now, I can’t go with him any further.
I take the apartment and Cadillac keys from my purse and throw them down onto the coffee table. “There you go, Papà. Now I owe you nothing.”
I look from Silvio to my father with a huge, heavy sadness that makes my knees feel weak. My father has turned his face away from me and has clenched his jaw deliberately. Silvio looks ready to march me out the door.
I take in a deep breath and nod. “I guess this is goodbye.”
With that, I turn and leave, being sure not to look behind me. I don’t want to lose my resolve and I’m half-afraid that I’d find Silvio a step behind me with his finger on the trigger of his Colt Cobra.
I stride out of the house and down the path to the bottom of the estate where Darren is waiting in his beat-up army-green jeep. I pull open the door and sit in the passenger seat. He looks across at me with concern.
“Are you alright?” he asks.
I wave towards the gates. “Just drive.”
He does as he’s told and we don’t speak again until we’re a couple of miles from Casa di Russo.
“Tell me,” he says.
Silent tears roll down my cheeks and I shrug, staring out the window. “I’m alive. That’s something, I guess.”
“What did he say?”
“What I expected. Silvio was there as well. They say I’m dead to the family. My father wanted his car and apartment back. I gave him the keys there and then. He says I’ve lost my job.” A sudden wave of guilt hits me. “I’m so sorry, Darren. They don’t want you to go back either.”
Darren surprises me by shrugging nonchalantly. “I wouldn’t want to work for them after all this anyway. You can’t trust men like that. Don’t worry about it, Rose.”
“What will you do?”
“Whatever I find first.” He looks over at me and offers a reassuring smile. He’s so handsome and so strong. “There’s plenty of bouncer work around these parts.”
“Most of
the casinos around here are owned by my father or Raffaele’s family.”
“I don’t have to work in a casino. Would make a change to be somewhere else, to be honest. All those machines give me a headache.”
“You’re really not bothered?”
He takes his hand off the shift stick so he can give mine a comforting squeeze. His smile is warm and genuine. “I knew I’d lose the job when I offered. It’s a small price to pay to know you’re safe and free. We’re talking about the rest of your life here, Rose.”
“The rest of my life…” I shake my head slowly. “I don’t even know where to begin with ‘the rest of my life’. I’ve got nothing now.”
“You’ll stay with me until you find your feet.”
“Darren—”
He cuts me off. “No arguments. I’m happy to have you.”
“But you’ve already done so much.”
“Like what? Letting you use my name?I I’ve hardly done anything at all.”
“You’ve put a target on your back.”
He scoffs. “They’re not going to do anything about it. They’re big talkers but they’re not going to come after either of us.”
“I just don’t know whether that’s true.” I sit back in my seat, wrapping my arms around myself. I can hardly sit still from nerves. “And what about Raffaele?” I shudder at the thought of him. “He treated me like I was his prey. What if he doesn’t stop hunting?”
“What’s he going to do about it? You can’t get married twice.”
“You can if you’re a widow.” I fix him with a meaningful and terrified stare. “Who knows what lengths he’d go to?”
“There are plenty of beautiful women in Las Vegas, Rose. He’ll find someone else to pursue.”
“I don’t think my looks were the half of it, Darren. It was all about merging their businesses and using me as collateral. Raffaele would have had me live with a knife against my throat to keep my father in line.”