by Ford, Brenda
Darren frowns, looking out through the windscreen with a serious expression. “Have you got any idea what kind of business your father does under the façade of that casino?”
“No idea at all. And my imagination isn’t good enough to wonder.” I look out the window at the hills and sand rolling past as we head back towards the strip and the heart of Las Vegas. “It could be drugs, ammunitions, any kind of racketeering…He always talks about how he’s got friends in high places. He’s probably forcing through shady deals on the threat of violence or blackmail.”
“All those things are still a long step from murder.”
I shudder. “I don’t want to think about it.”
“You’re right.” Darren forces a smile. “This should be a happy occasion. You stood up for yourself, Rose, and now you’re free to have whatever life you want…with whoever you want.”
The fear lifts enough to allow butterflies to dance in my stomach. I look across at Darren with a small smile. I lay my hand atop his on the shift stick.
“After all this, would you be terrified if I said I still wanted you?”
A broad smile grows on his face. “I’m here because that’s exactly what I want too.” He glances across at me with both affection and desire. “I’ve waited so long to have a chance at being with you. You’re in my head, Honey. You’re under my skin. You have been for the longest time.”
“And the danger?”
He laughs. “I never would have become a SEAL if I was scared of a little danger. Trust me, Rose, your father has got nothing on Al-Qaeda.”
His words comfort me and I settle back in my seat with a calm smile on my face. The further we get from Casa Di Russo, the freer I feel. The muscles in my chest are loosening, my breaths are coming easier. The sadness and regret of leaving my family are outweighed by the promise of a future that’s all my own.
I’m free.
10
Darren
“Here?” Rose looks around at the secluded patch of desert I’ve picked out for our picnic and steps out the car with a smile.
“One of the best views in Nevada.”
After getting back from confronting Giacomo and Silvio, Rose had slept for a long time. While she was resting, I’d gone out and bought picnic food and a blanket. I wanted to take her somewhere beautiful to take her mind off of everything.
I love the desert. I always have done. If you get there at twilight, you’ll find the skies ablaze in purple and pink, the soft light falling across red mountains and desert flowers. It’s a landscape appreciated by too few.
Rose closes her eyes, takes in a deep breath, then opens them again to drink it all in. “It’s beautiful out here.” She turns over her shoulder towards me. “You know I’ve ever been out here? I mean, I’ve driven through desert, but never stopped anywhere.”
“Why would you? Las Vegas is bigger and brighter.”
She takes the opposite end of the heavy-duty tartan blanket I’m unfolding and helps me shake it flight. We lay it down on the sand and dry dirt and sit down together. It’s too early for the cactuses to be in bloom, but the air is filled with the earthy scent of the desert and the sweet smell of the creosote bushes that always remind me of rain.
“I thought I’d bring you somewhere completely different to where you’ve come from. Just listen.” I close my eyes and breathe in deep, savoring the silence. “Nothing.”
Rose sighs in contentment. She’s wearing the only outfit she had with her—the grey skinny jeans and dark grey vest she’d been wearing the night I’d met her in the bar. Her knees are dusty with orange dirt.
“Do you often come out here?”
I nod. “I love Vegas, but sometimes you want to escape the lights.”
“There’s nobody else around.”
“Nobody ever takes this route. It goes nowhere anywhere knows.”
“It’s a good thing I trust you, then. Here I am, a girl out in the middle of nowhere with a guy…” She smiles at me. Her eyes are full of tenderness. “Thank you, Darren. This is perfect.”
“How are you feeling now?”
She shrugs. “Bitter, scared, sad, excited, hopeful…” She smiles at me. “A little of everything bad and a little of everything good, too.”
“Leave sad and scared behind you, Rose. You’re right to be excited and hopeful. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you now.”
Rose lies on her side on the blanket, fiddling with the waxy leaves of a nearby shrub. “If only I knew what to do.”
When she lies back with her hands above her head, it exposes the perfect smooth skin of her navel. She’s got an incredible body.
“Well, what did you want to be when you were a kid?”
She laughs. “Hell knows. I never thought about it. I supposed I always thought my daddy would look after me forever.” She looks at me with an expression of self-awareness. “Time to wake up and smell the roses, right?” She rolls onto her stomach to look at me. “What did you want to be when you were a kid?”
“You’ll laugh. I know you will.”
Her eyes light up mischievously. “Interesting. Tell me.”
“I wanted to be a rocket scientist.”
“No way!” Rose claps her hands together in delight, laughing loudly. The sound seems to disappear so quickly; there’s nothing to echo it back. “You? A scientist?”
“I know, I know.” I shake my head slowly. “You won’t believe this, but I was a nerd when I was young.”
“But you’re such a tough guy now.” She mimes flexing her muscles.
I shrug. “I didn’t have many options available to me when I left home. I need cash. I was young, fit. When I saw the military recruiting, it seemed like an easy way to get out of dodge.”
“And you never looked back?”
“I wouldn’t say that.” I meet her eye. “Sometimes I think about what life might have been like if I’d not made excuses; if I’d got the loans and three jobs to get into school. Maybe I’d have ended up some clean-cut lab geek or engineer.”
“You’re good at what you do.”
“And what is it I do exactly?” I lie down beside her and stare up at the sunset. “I’m hired muscle. That’s all.”
Rose sidles over to me and rests her head on my shoulder. “You were there when I needed someone.”
That’s all she says, but it touches me deeply. It makes me feel validated. For all my regrets about the path of my life, right now, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. I draw her close and kiss the top of her head tenderly.
“Despite everything that’s happened in the last couple of days, I don’t think I’ve ever felt more relaxed than I do right now.”
“Right?” She tilts her head to look up at me from where she lays. “I feel the same. It’s like the world’s finally stopped spinning.”
“You said you’d thought about us before,” I say. “How did you imagine our first date?
She giggles. “Pretty much exactly how it went. Straight in the sack.”
I laugh loudly. “I’d always thought I’d have spoiled you rotten.”
“I’m spoiled enough.” Rose plants a kiss on my lips and then sits up to scavenge in the plastic bag I put the picnic stuff in. “You know what? I’m starving. I can’t remember when I last ate.”
“You’ve spent too much time worrying.”
“Now all I want to do is eat, cuddle, and watch that gorgeous sun go down.”
She fishes out a cheese and cucumber sandwich, hands one to me, and happily munches away. I pass her a bottle of juice and we chat while we eat.
Only a few hours ago, everything felt like life and death.
Now it’s just life.
Life as I always wanted it to be.
11
Rose
We watch the sun go down and all at once it’s dark.
“My god,” I whisper, “look at those stars.”
“They’re beautiful, aren’t they?”
“I can’t remember the last tim
e I saw a sky like this. The only lights I ever see at night are neon.”
Darren smiles. We’re both lying on our backs on the picnic blanket looking up at the sky. My head is resting on his shoulder, my arm across his stomach. It rises and falls with every one of his breaths; they’re rhythmic and soothing. I’ve never felt more relaxed.
“I’ve always liked the stars,” Darren says. “Always wanted to reach them. I liked the idea of going up there more than I liked the idea of physics.”
“So that’s where the rocket scientist dream came from.”
“Maybe I should have set my sights on being an astronaut instead.”
“I’m sure you’d have passed the physical.”
I raise my upper body slightly so I can kiss him. When I draw back, I find myself getting lost in his eyes. They’re dark and kind. His face is so handsome. I run the back of my hand down his cheek, feeling his rough stubble graze my skin. His features are chiseled and angular. He looks like a cowboy out here in the desert.
I kiss him again. This time the kiss grows deeper. He parts my lips with his and his tongue brushes against mine. It doesn’t take much from Darren to drive me wild. His kiss sends heat coursing through me along with an unbearable desire.
“I don’t deserve you,” I say softly. “A girl like me who’s always had everything isn’t worthy of a knight in shining armor.”
Darren looks up at me with an expression of pure devotion and rests his palm against my cheek. “It’s the easiest rescue I’ve ever done.”
“Everything’s going to change now.”
He leans up and kisses me again. “Change isn’t always bad.”
While he kisses me, I reach for his belt and unbuckle his pants, slipping a hand beneath his boxers and taking hold of his cock which is already rock hard. I slowly slide my hand up and down the length of him, feeling him grow harder still in my hand.
He tilts his head back and moans with pleasure. “Jesus Christ, Rose. You’ve got no idea what you do to me.”
I smile mischievously. “I’ve got some idea.”
Darren grabs me by the hips and flips me onto my back in one smooth motion that makes me gasp. I love how strong he is. He makes me feel so small and feminine. Like the damsel to his hero.
He unbuttons my jeans and slowly rolls them down my legs, kissing each inch of skin on my legs as it appears. It tickles when he kisses my inner thighs and I giggle. Once he’s removed both my jeans and panties, he pushes my legs apart and bows his head down between them.
I sigh with pleasure when his tongue touches my clit. The feeling is dizzying but is made even more sensual by the sweet scent of the creosote bushes and the breathtaking view of the stars. We’re all alone in the desert, making love out in nature where everything is so peaceful and perfect.
“That feels good,” I whisper. I shut my eyes in contentment and focus on the feeling of Darren teasing my sweet spot. My toes curl against the blanket as the spectacular feeling of an orgasm begins to settle between my legs and grown.
I clutch at Darren’s hair. The feeling is almost too good. I have to fight the urge to push him away; I’m so sensitive and the lightest flick of his tongue is sending me into a frenzy.
He carries on bringing me closer to the edge, keeping my legs apart with his strong and gentle hands, even when I start to squirm from the pleasure. When the feeling gets too intense, I arch my back and cry out, gasping in the night as I cum like I’ve never cum before. My whole body trembles with the feeling; it’s like I’m drenched in warm honey.
I grab his shirt to pull his towards me and kiss him deeply. I can taste myself on his lips. Darren groans with arousal and tears my shirt off over my head as I grapple with his clothes. In seconds, we’re both bare-skinned in the sand.
The cool desert breeze whispers across my skin making my hairs stand on end. It’s a delicious sensation. I’ve never been this free with my body. I have no inhibitions; I want to experience every second of this intoxicating dance.
I part my legs and urge Darren to take his place on top of me. The weight of his body on mine is such a turn-on. I love the feeling of his hot skin against my bare breasts; the firmness of his muscles against my naked body.
My pleasure only intensifies when he thrusts into me. He moves into me with urgent, passionate strokes. It’s animal and intense. I watch the muscles of his body flex as he moves, biting down on my lip at the sight of his bulging biceps and the sound of his heavy breathing.
I claw at his back, trying to find some relief from the intensity of the pleasure. I’m a writhing, trembling mess. I press my inner thighs against his torso, feeling the rhythm of his moving between my legs.
He gets faster; the pleasure gets more exquisite with each thrust. As he gets closer to cumming, he thrusts deeper, filling me completely and satisfying every desire I’ve ever had.
Darren releases with a low moan then rests breathlessly against me. I play with his hair while he gets his breath back, then he raises his head and smiles at me.
“We’re getting good at this.”
I smile up at the stars. “We’ve got all the time in the world now to enjoy it over and over.”
We both fall asleep for a while after that. I wake up when I feel Darren stirring beside me. I’m exhausted and fight against waking. I try not to let my smile show when he wraps me up in a jacket from his car and lifts me cradle-style.
I feel like I weigh nothing in his arms. It’s the dream An Officer and a Gentleman moment. I do fall asleep again on the drive back home and if Darren carried me into bed, I knew nothing about it.
I was having the most wonderful dreams.
12
Darren
I’ve not heard a noise that loud since Yemen. Instinct takes over and I jolt upright I bed, throwing my arm across Rose to protect her from a danger I can’t see.
She screams. “What was that?”
“Stay here.”
I open the drawer of my bedside table and pull out my revolver. I hold it outright in my right hand and steady my wrist with my left. With my back against the wall, I swiftly and silently step out of the bedroom and into the hall.
I can smell smoke.
It’s not just a smell. Billows of ashen grey are spiraling towards me. I peer around the doorway of my living room to find it in flames. The loud crackling of the fire rings in my ears and my bare skin can feel the heat from here.
Lowering my gun, I dash back to the bedroom and order Rose out of bed. “Get up. Quick. Pull something on. Anything.”
She does as she’s told. I hate the look of terror on her face. “What is it?”
“Fire.”
“…Fire?” She rushes to pull on her jeans and then runs to me to grasp my arm. I pull on my clothes as quickly as I can, shut the bedroom door, then open the window. My condo doesn’t have a second floor so it’s not much of a leap, but I still throw the duvet out before helping Rose step up just to make sure she doesn’t get hurt. I leap out behind her and we dash to the front of the house.
Rose lets out a shocked gasp and covers her mouth with her hands as her eyes fill with tears. “My god, Darren. I’m so sorry.”
I feel a lump in my throat as I watch the flames consume my home. The drapes are burning. I watch as half the fabric burns loose and drops to the floor, making the fire spread faster across the carpet.
“Fuck. I’ve left my cell inside.”
Rose grabs my hand and squeezes. “Someone will call the fire department.”
“I’d better wake the neighbors. They don’t want to be inside in case it spreads.”
I alert the neighbors and soon the street is full of spectators.
Mrs. Connors places her hand on my shoulder. “Darren, I’m so sorry. If there’s anything you need…”
“Thank you. I’ll be…” I clear my throat. “…I’ll be fine.”
Although I’m keeping it together, Rose is in pieces. She clasps as my t-shirt and sobs into my chest. I wrap my arms around her t
o stop her collapsing. Her sobs are so heavy she’s barely holding herself upright. I stroke back her hair and kiss her head.
“It’s alright, Rose.”
“You’ve lost everything.” She looks up at me with her tear-stained face and I’ve never ever seen guilt quite like it. “I let this happen.”
“You did nothing wrong. None of this is your fault.”
“I should never have dragged you into this.”
“That’s what insurance is for. It’s okay. There’s nothing that can’t be replaced.”
“What about your photos? Or…or special things?” Her face is crumpled in anguish. “Some things can’t be replaced so easily.”
I kiss her forehead. “Maybe for some people. Everything in there is just junk.”
“What about your passport? Your birth certificate?”
“Honey, calm down. It can all be replaced. The important thing is nobody was hurt.”
There is panic in the street. The mayhem is growing and growing as spectators gather. It gets even crazier once the fire engine arrives. Suddenly there’s men in yellow firesuits everywhere, aiming hoses and shouting commands. Everyone is forced back behind a line and I can do nothing but watch everything I have burn.
The smoke in the air is thick. It burns my lungs the way it did when I tried my first cigarette. The sirens are no longer blaring but the nervous chatter of dozens of onlookers carries its own sense of dread.
“Somebody could have been hurt,” Rose whispers. She looks up at me with wide, frightened eyes. “And I don’t know who I should be scared of. Was this my father and Silvio? Was it Raffaele?”
“It could have just been an electrical fault.” Neither of us believe that.
“They’ve got the fire under control now.” I stare ahead at the corpse of my house. The flames are gone but the remaining smoke is black as night and thick as fog.
“Maybe it can be repaired.”
“Maybe.”
I don’t hold out much hope. The house is burned down to its bones; it’s a carcass of the first house I ever got a mortgage on. The first home I ever had in my own name.