Entanglement

by Max Ellendale

  "I want to tell them all. Just like stand there and shout to the whole field that you're my girlfriend," she said, ending our connection.

  "Go for it, baby."

  "I can't…"

  "We can go with them to dinner after and tell them. How's that?"

  "Okay. But if the opportunity rises, I'm doing it before then." Her adrenaline must've fueled her passion and it carried with her as we exited the vehicle. Both of us jogged toward the field where the teams gathered. Mira grabbed my elbow suddenly, gasping as she squeezed my arm.

  "What happened?" I gripped her waist, holding her up from hunching forward.

  "I…think my clit is sensitive, or I just almost came in my shorts." With wide, wild eyes she stared at me. "Can that happen?"

  "Yes." I laughed and pulled her into a hug. "Some runners say it happens to them. You'll calm down when you're distracted."

  "I'm going to the locker room for a minute." She released me after she took a deep breath. "See you out there."

  "Okay." I grinned as I watched her walk to the locker room instead of run, then joined the fray in the bleachers.

  Eve sat with Ciara's family in a larger crowd than usual, and to my surprise, Angelina joined them.

  "What are you all doing here?" I asked, dropping down to sit beside Angelina.

  "Last game before the holiday break," answered Ciara. "Aren't you festive."

  "Yeah, well. Things've changed." I tugged on the jersey and smiled.

  My phone buzzed and I looked down to see a text from Mira, Billie, what if I have an orgasm on the field?

  You won't. Just imagine boring penises.

  LOL! Stop that.

  Did you come in the locker room, baby?

  No!

  You'll be okay. I promise. You can always feign a leg cramp on the field.

  Billie! smh. Love you. Coming out now.

  Are you? I grinned when I sent it, though I watched her jog on to the field where her team greeted her a second after. Her cheeks, flushed with arousal that perpetuated our day, stood out against her pale skin.

  "Her face has the freshly pink hue of morning sex," Angelina whispered against my ear as if she read my mind and I swatted her. "Not teasing, just celebrating."

  "Shh." I laughed and she wrapped her arm around my shoulders. "Don't embarrass her."

  "She can't hear me. You doing good, Billie?" Angelina's soft smile settled me some.

  "Yeah. I'm good."

  Eve glanced at me from across her best friend and smiled. "Nice shirt."

  "Thanks. It's not mine but its owner is," I said, which made them laugh.

  "Aww." Angie nudged me with her elbow and I smiled.

  The game began with fire and ice from both teams. On the bench of the opposing team, I noticed a lone woman cheering. Valerie had a purple cast from knee to foot, the same color as her team's jersey. Her crutches leaned beside her where she propped her foot on them.

  "They're vicious today and it's been five minutes," commented Ciara.

  "Hopefully no broken limbs today," I said, and watched as Mira's stamina seemed different today, and she appeared tired at times. All of it was my fault, but she didn't seem put off by it.

  During the first half, Saoirse dribbled the ball down the field and Mira ran with her. The two of them dominated the field, and when Saoirse passed her the ball, Mira kicked it toward the net. It soared over the goalkeeper's head. The pink team cheered and Saoirse hugged Mira as they set up for the next round of play.

  With a game point driving the fury, they played hard and rough. Mira hit the ground three times, landing in graceful tumbles. Once, she leapt over someone who slid at her ankles. When the game came to a break between rounds, they jogged over to their benches for water and planning. A few minutes in, Mira turned around to face us in the bleachers. She smiled when I met her gaze, and I watched as the war returned to her. She wrung her hands in front of her as she seemed to wrestle between staying with the girls and running over to us. The desperation in her expression drew Saoirse's attention, which in turn had Maddie and Jenny crowding her.

  "Is she upset?" asked Angie, glancing from me back to Mira.

  "I think she's…battling." I kept my eyes on Mira, though it was Ciara who spoke up.

  "It must be really scary for her," she said. "The thought of people treating her differently. She's never had to deal with that, whereas we've had to our whole lives."

  Eve remained quiet, though her concerned expression matched mine.

  The gameplay returned as we agonized over the situation. Mira's spirit dimmed again on the field. She played well, though her enthusiasm wasn't there.

  Twenty minutes in, Mira stole the ball, rather viciously, from a woman and hit the grass after stumbling over her own feet. Mira raced down the field, Saoirse and Maddie running with her. Some of the crowd held their breath, or so it seemed, and Mira wound up for a hefty kick. To our surprise, she held back, and passed the ball to Saoirse. She kicked it to Maddie, who took the shot, only to have it blocked by the goalkeeper. The crowd around us groaned, and an idea struck me.

  Mira wanted to tell her team. She wanted to just be who she was and maybe I could help. It was a risk, a terrible one, but I couldn't watch her struggling a moment longer. I hopped up, climbed on the bleacher bench, and stood straight up on it. The people close by gazed up at me like I'd lost my mind as I cupped my hands over my mouth.

  I took a deep breath and shouted, "You're a wanker, Seventeen!" I borrowed the partial line from Imagine Me & You, the movie that Mira had watched more than twice, I was sure.

  My voice echoed, bringing the crowd to a momentary hush and every player in the game paused as they turned to scan the field for the elusive number. The purple team didn't have a number seventeen and so all eyes fell on pink. They stared at Mira whose shirt matched mine with a glaring number seventeen in the center of it. Every lesbian in the vicinity started chuckling or aww'ing before anyone else. When Mira met my gaze, she cracked up, turning her cheeks bright red as she folded her hands on top of her head. She grinned at me like every burden in the world lifted from her shoulders. People around me snickered and clapped, and a few women who understood the message whistled at us.

  Mira's teammates hooted as she stood there, an endless smile on her ruby lips as she watched me. I blew her a kiss and the whistles picked up along with the applause. Even the referee chuckled while waving to get the players' attention back to the game. The goalkeeper held onto the ball, keeping the game at a pause.

  Several of the players broke their positions to run up to Mira, clapping her on the back and pointing at me. She shook her head, biting her bottom lip until they insisted. Everyone cheered for her as she jogged toward me and I jumped down from the bleachers to meet her at the edge of the field. Both of us laughed as we embraced.

  "Look at all that support," I said, leaning back and cupping her face in my palms. "And all the queer folks who know what the hell it meant."

  She laughed, her eyes shimmering with happiness and tears before she leaned in and caught me in a kiss, lifting me to my toes right there in front of everyone. The cheers and whistles escalated around us and made my heart race when they tangled with my feelings for her.

  "I love you," she said, ending the kiss as she panted.

  "And I love you, baby. Go kick some ass on that field." I grinned, my hands on her waist as her arms fell on top of mine like they had months ago before we even knew where we were going.

  Her radiant smile never faded as she broke away from me, returning to the team that greeted her with hugs and adoration. I'd hoped that Mira's entry into acceptance would look like this. Surrounded by support, and smiling faces. I couldn't think of a better place for her to be herself than at one of her games. Most of the women, and most of their supporters, would no doubt embrace her and us.

  After the game, Angelina hugged me while we waited for Mira and Saoirse to join us by the cars. "That was so cute," she said.

  "And risk
y. I pretty much outed her. It could've gone bad." I returned her hug and turned to Eve who reached across Ciara to pat my back.

  "I was wrong," she said, a smirk playing on her lips. "And you're a sappy little shit."

  "Oh, shut up and be nice for once." Ciara smothered Eve with the hood of her jacket. "That was the sweetest. It wasn't a risk if you helped her, Billie. She needed that perhaps."

  "She was ready to tell them, she just needed…opportunity." My nerves got the better of me as the potential consequences of what I'd done tripped me up. "I would never do that to anyone. It's so personal, it's—"

  "We know." Ciara gripped my shoulder. "And to be fair, she kissed you, not the other way around. Look how happy she was on that field afterward. And how she couldn't stop glancing at you any time there was a pause in action. Maybe she needed your lead."

  "It feels like that sometimes, but her lead is beautiful…" I turned in time to see Mira and Saoirse coming our way.

  Eve hugged Ciara from behind and shared a glance with Angelina, both of them wearing soft smiles. Ciara leaned into Eve, stroking her arms gently.

  "Billie, Jordan is having her annual We Survived post-holiday Friendsgiving next Saturday. You and Mira should come," offered Eve. "She'll be happy if you did."

  "I'll think about it. Thanks, Eve." I smiled when Mira jogged up to me and grabbed me in a hug. I laughed and kissed her cheek a bunch of times. "Hi, baby."

  "Hi." She held on to me longer than usual and I rubbed her back. She kissed my cheek and glanced to the beaming faces of the people around us. "Is everyone coming to dinner?"

  "We just might," answered Ciara. "We going?" she asked Eve.

  "Sure. But Mira has to sit at the gay table now." Eve shrugged, a smirk curving her lips. "Sorry, Saoirse."

  Everyone laughed, and Saoirse wrapped her arm around Mira's shoulders. "Don't worry, Mimi. It's a much bigger table anyway."

  "Because we welcome everyone." I glared at Eve and she just chuckled. "One big table for all. Onward to burgers."

  Mira held her hand to me and I took it, meeting her gaze as she offered me a genuine smile. Most of the anxiety faded from her in that moment, and my heart swelled for her. Maybe she could find her joy in our togetherness, at least for tonight, feeling uplifted by her friends.

  Chapter Fifteen

  "I have to tell you something," said Mira as we pulled into the driveway of her parents' home behind a row of cars. As suburban as suburban gets, in my opinion, though beautiful with fall colors and clean streets. I parked the car and turned my attention to her after removing my seatbelt.

  "What's up, baby?"

  "So…I told my parents that I was bringing a guest named Billie." She took a deep breath. "But I didn't tell them that you were a woman."

  I laughed out my surprise and dropped my head back against the seat. "Four hours in this car and now you tell me."

  "I was working up to it." She bit her bottom lip, her brow wrinkled with worry. "Are you mad?"

  "No, baby… Maybe it's better this way? I'm not sure." I let out a soft sigh, my fingers gripping the wheel tighter than I expected. "Now I'm nervous. I wasn't, but I am now."

  "I'm sorry, honey," she said, releasing her seatbelt and turning to face me. "I should've been braver…"

  "We'll do it together. Okay?" I held my hand to her and she took it, nodding. "I should've worn a skirt to drive the non-man Billie point home."

  She laughed softly, and leaned over to kiss my shoulder. "I'm sorry. Your skinny jeans and ankle boots are sexy. It's my favorite thing on you."

  "Is it?" I smiled and she nodded.

  "With a pretty blouse like you're wearing."

  "My favorite thing on you is literally everything." I chuckled and shook my head. "But that three-piece blue suit killed me dead."

  "Billie." She laughed and peeked up at me.

  "Are you sure you're ready?" I ran my finger down the bridge of her nose. "We can go back home and eat all the leftovers while the kids are out."

  "Dinner yesterday was so nice, Billie. Like our own little family," she said, leaning into my touch then kissing the tip of my finger.

  "It is our own little family." I hugged her hand to my chest. "You're a part of that."

  She nodded, leaning across the console to hug me. I returned her embrace and she pressed her lips to my neck. "I love you."

  "I love you, too." I rubbed her back and let out a soft sigh. "And you smell delicious and look beautiful."

  "So do you." She sniffled and blinked away the mist in her eyes. "My family hates when I talk about physics so I tend not to."

  "Why do they hate it?"

  "My brother says no one understands anything I say sometimes, and Sedona used to call me a know-it-all."

  "Are you the oldest?"

  "Yeah. Mikey is the baby and favorite. Sedona acts like everyone forgets about her because she's in the middle, but she demands attention."

  "I'm not worried about your family dynamics, baby. I'm here for you." I stroked her cheek and she kissed the palm of my hand. "Nothing they can say will put a sour taste in my mouth. I love when you talk about physics. I love seeing you as a smarty pants up in front of that classroom. You're not a know-it-all in the way they say. You're beautiful and amazing. To me."

  Her expression lifted as she seemed to hang on my every word. "You…take my breath away." Her confession made me smile and I brushed my thumb over her bottom lip when she continued. "You've swept in and changed the darkest parts of my life with your honesty, and brightness. You're like a shining star just for me. Did you know?"

  "No." I leaned my forehead against hers. "But I'm happy to be just for you."

  We sat together like that for a moment, before breaking away with a mutual sigh. I nodded and we unloaded ourselves from the car, and grabbed the pecan pie from the back seat. We walked side-by-side to the front door, and Mira took a deep breath, her hand on the doorknob.

  "You lead," I told her. "Whatever you want to say, Mira. However you want to do it."

  "I'm not going to deny you, Billie." Her lips pursed when she met my gaze, a fire in her eyes rather than the pain of last week. "I won't."

  "Okay." I let my hand fall to the small of her back. "Ready?"

  "Yes, love," she said, and opened the door. I followed behind her, smiling softly at the new name I'd gained in the last ten seconds.

  The sounds of a bustling house met my ears, tangled with the wafting fragrance of turkey and spices. A child's squeal pierced the drone of voices and I looked to Mira after a deep inhale. She nodded, and led me down the hall with the golden wood floor toward the warmly decorated living room, the dining room to the side. Our heels clicked in a slow stride, as if waiting for the abyss to swallow us. Half-a-dozen sets of eyes fell on us when we emerged, and cheerful voices greeted us.

  "Mimi," Sedona exclaimed, bursting away from the crowd around the set table to hug her sister. Mira cringed at the nickname, and returned her sister's embrace. Sedona's rush dragged the attention of some of the others, and Mira's parents broke away from the table to hurry over. Mrs. Lewis resembled Mira, with dark hair and light eyes, and despite being in her mid-sixties, had a youthfulness about her that screamed yoga. Her father, silver-haired and handsome, strode over with a firm, confident smile. They greeted her with cheek kisses as Mira handed Sedona the bakery box.

  "And who is this?" asked Mrs. Lewis, smiling at me. Meeting her gaze wasn't unlike Mira's the first time—a skeptical warmth tucked under a polite smile.

  I made to introduce myself, but Mira interrupted me. "This is Billie," she said, appearing as poised as ever. The only noticeable hitch in her presentation belonged to the tightened fist of her left hand. Mira's expression, cool and calm the way she appeared at the front of the classroom, remained steadfast. "My girlfriend."

  I waited and fought the cringe that the fraction of a pause her words brought. Mrs. Lewis' lips parted, and her brow furrowed faintly. Mr. Lewis stared, as if he hadn't heard what she sai
d, and Sedona scratched her head, glancing from Mira to me.

  "Girlfriend," said Sedona, her black hair styled just like Mira's, straight and long over her shoulders. "Like…girlfriend or girlfriend?"

  "Girlfriend," Mira repeated her emphasis before allowing her hand to fall to the small of my back. "Billie, this is Sedona." Mira gestured to her sister. "And my parents, Janet and Michael."

  "It's good to meet you," I said, gulping before extending my hand to each of them. They shook my hand, though the puzzlement never left their faces.

  "You, too," said Sedona. "That's my husband Aaron." She pointed to a handsome black man who waved from his position by the table where he sat with another man whom I recognized as Mira's brother. "And the one wrangling the kid is Mikey." Mira's brother waved as well before tossing the little girl over his shoulder.

  "This is Bailey," Mikey said, patting the upside-down child's back. "And my wife Bella."

  "Good to meet all of you," I said, to the smiling faces at the table.

  To say the reception of Mira's announcement was a mixed one would be an understatement. Her brother, sister-in-law, and brother-in-law didn't seem fazed by it, but Sedona and her parents remained somewhat frozen.

  "I'll put this away," said Sedona, breaking away from us to tote the pie to the kitchen.

  "Say something, Mom," said Mira, finally, her resolve faltering.

  "Well, we're happy to have both of you." Mrs. Lewis offered me a small smile, then looked to Mira. "Come sit."

  "Okay." Mira didn't seem convinced and her poise faded. I nudged her hand with mine and she grabbed it immediately.

  Mr. Lewis didn't say anything, though like his wife, he offered a polite smile before turning and leading us to the dining room table. I pulled out Mira's chair and she sat, smiling up at me when I offered her a wink. Her parents and Sedona disappeared to the kitchen, leaving the rest of us behind.

  "Aunt Mimi," whined Bailey. "Daddy said you're late."

  "I did not, you little squealer." Mikey righted the kid to sit on his lap. "I said Aunt Mimi will be here later."