by KB Winters
“I’m taking a ten,” I told Becca, sinking into the chair behind the desk. My feet ached from running around like a headless chicken all afternoon.
“All right, I’ll get started on put backs, and then I’ll tag you out.” Becca walked into the first fitting room to get started.
I reclined back, slipping my feet out of my sky high heels in the process. “Ahh,” I sighed. “That’s better.”
While Becca was distracted, I pulled my phone from my pocket and checked my email. As the messages filtered in, my heart dropped, not seeing anything from Colton or the dating site.
Until…
I yelped and sat up when the last message came in.
It was from him.
He’d actually written back to me. I flipped open the message and my eyes poured over his words, hungrily eating them up.
Karena,
I’m still alive and kicking here in the shark tank. I’m glad I was able to help. To be totally honest, I haven’t done much in the dating department. My job keeps me pretty busy, and spending long stretches overseas doesn’t really foster long term relationships. I’ve seen more relationships implode than I can count, and know the strain and stress of military life is certainly not for the faint of heart. In an effort to avoid all that, I just haven’t dated, period.
Now, I know all of that isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement of getting involved with me, but, as I said in my original ad, no bullshit.
I just had this conversation with two of my best friends, and fellow soldiers, Lucas and Miles, earlier today. I was breaking the news to them that I’m looking to get hitched. There’s pressure on me to get married, and that’s what spurred this whole search, but in doing so, I’ve realized that this is actually what I want, and that I’m ready to build something real. So, if—on the tiny chance—you’re still interested. Let me know.
Until then, I’ll keep swimming.
Colton
I burst out laughing at his reply, and quickly shushed myself. Becca had just come from cleaning out a fitting room, and shot me a questioning look, her arms loaded down with discarded clothing.
“Cat video.” I held up my phone. She gave me a playful eye roll as she went out to the roll away rack. When she was gone, I tapped out a quick reply, knowing I had at least another five minutes while she was busy sorting out the racks that needed to be taken back onto the floor.
Colton,
Man, you sure know how to sell yourself, huh? I’m thinking you made a good choice when you joined the Army, and didn’t try your hand as a salesman. You would have tanked. Big time.
In all seriousness, I get it. I guess I’m the same. My parents had an incredibly nasty divorce when I was in high school. I won’t get into that basket of insanity, at least not now, but after living through that, I became disenchanted with love, marriage, and the whole thing. So, in some ways, it’s not that I don’t want to find those things, it’s just a fundamental disbelief that a happy, lifelong relationship could exist. It’s like the hunt for a mythical white stag. People chase it, but why? If it doesn’t exist? Some would say the thrill of the hunt, but I think there are a million other things I could do with my time.
If I ever get married, I would rather walk into it, eyes wide open, each side knowing exactly what they were getting. No surprises, no illusions. To me, marriages would work better if they were more like a contract, a business arrangement. Maybe that just makes me sound jaded and bitter. And hey, maybe I am.
So, let me ask you one question, what do you want from this arrangement? What are your expectations?
~Karena
My mind was still churning when Becca and I made our way out of the store and out to our cars that night after work. In reality, Colton and I had only exchanged a few messages. We didn’t have a relationship. We really didn’t know enough about each other to even be called friends. And yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something real happening between us. I wanted to ask Becca for her opinion, but wasn’t ready to share yet. The whole situation was new and foreign, and I hadn’t worked out a way to explain it without sounding insane.
“Are you and Keith going out tonight?” I asked, circling back to the conversation topic I’d been forced to abandon earlier, when Mary had burst in and went all drill Sargent on us.
She shook her head. “No. I’m not even going home. Straight from here to the docks. I have the late shift.”
“Oh, that sucks,” I replied, wrinkling my nose. I couldn’t imagine getting all dolled up in a cocktail dress and heels and going out to wander around a ship for another four hours. My feet were killing me just from running around Beckham’s all day.
Becca shrugged and branched off to round her car that was parked next to mine in the back lot for employees and freight. “It’s not like we would do anything even if I was home,” she said, her voice edged with a hint of bitterness. “Keith’s been obsessed with this new video game, and I swear, sometimes he doesn’t even know I’m home.”
“I’m sorry, Becs.” Seeing Becca upset always broke my heart. I bit my tongue when the topic of Keith came up, but under the surface, my blood boiled thinking about how shitty he was to her. She deserved so much better.
She sighed and shrugged again. “I know he’s just tired with work, things have been really stressful for him lately. The game is just his way of dealing with all that. I shouldn’t have even said anything.”
“Becca, come on. I’m your best friend. If you don’t talk to me, who are you going to talk to about all this? I know I’ve had my issues with Keith, but that’s only because I want you to be happy, and he doesn’t put you at the top of his priorities like he should.”
Becca pulled her car door open and gave me a last look. “I get it, Karena, it’s not perfect. But, excuse me if I don’t take your relationship advice. You don’t know what it’s like, okay?”
Her words sunk into my chest like a knife. My lungs pinched and it took concentrated effort to suck in a full breath. “You’re right, Becs. Of course. I’m just a screw up who has no idea what she’s talking about.” I rolled my eyes. “It’s not like I have any experience with dysfunctional, abusive relationships.”
“Keith isn’t abusive!” Becca insisted.
I held up my hands. “I’m not going to argue with you about this, Becca. Have a good night.” I got into my own car before she could say anything else. I felt like an absolute bitch monster, leaving my best friend hurt and angry like that, but I couldn’t trust myself not to unload all of my true thoughts and opinions about Keith, which would only alienate her further.
It was better to get in the car and drive away.
* * * *
The argument with Becca was still stewing when I got home, and all through my throw together dinner I ate in front of the TV. I wanted to call her and apologize, but knew she would be at work until well past midnight. I sent a quick text instead, letting her know I was sorry for judging her relationship. I still thought Keith was a loser, and that Becca could—and should—break up with him, but in the end—it wasn’t my call. Becca’s life belonged to her, and it was her right who she chose to spend it with. As her best friend, it was my job to be supportive. No matter how tough it got.
She responded back that all was forgiven, and I felt better, but her words were still ringing in my head, about how I wasn’t qualified to give relationship advice since I’d never really had one before. I didn’t fully agree with her stance, but there was a kernel of truth to it. I’d seen what things could destroy a relationship, and what happened in the ugly aftermath, but Becca was right, I didn’t know how to make a relationship work. From listening to my friends’ gripes about their boyfriends or husbands, all I’d done was amass a laundry list of behavior that I wouldn’t put up with if we traded places. So, in some ways, I knew what I didn’t want, but had overlooked the things I did want.
Colton was the closest I’d gotten to actually wanting a real relationship. A realization that left me rolling m
y eyes at myself, since I really didn’t know anything about him. All I had was a picture and a few paragraphs.
I propped my feet up on the coffee table, and reached for my laptop. To my delight, a new message was waiting from Colton. Just seeing his name on the screen lit me up inside, letting loose a dozen butterflies inside my stomach. The entire thing was so reminiscent of a junior high crush, and I could feel myself being picked up and carried away in the excitement and newness—regardless of how much I intended to keep both feet planted on the ground.
Karena,
You’re probably right about the salesman thing. What about you? You mentioned you’re a personal shopper. So, I guess that means you’re an excellent salesperson. Am I being worked over here? Cause, I’m not afraid to say, that whatever you’re doing, it’s working.
I feel like we’re both in the same place. Trying to say everything to talk ourselves out of being in a relationship, and yet, we met on a dating site. The irony of it is actually quite entertaining.
You asked a question—technically two, but hey, for you, I’ll answer them both:
What I want: I want to get married, probably without a lot of lead time. Once I make up my mind, I move pretty quickly. It’s a trait that’s served me well to this point, so I’m confident it will work here. I live in Georgia, at Fort Benning, an Army base. I can’t really move away, so whoever I marry will need to move here. That’s just logistics. Eventually, I want a family, but there’s not a huge rush on that. Due to the unconventional nature of this marriage that I’m proposing, I realize this might be something I never get, and if that’s the case, I would find a way to live with it. I’m still in the service for at least another two years, but pending something disastrous, I’ll re-up my contract after that. I’m a lifer. I’ve been toying with the idea of putting in for a station overseas, maybe see what it would be like to live in Europe for a couple of years.
My expectations: I’m not some chauvinist pig—although, I’ve been accused of it by other ladies who found my ad—I want an equal partnership with my wife. It’s not a gender role thing, it’s whatever works for us. I expect support of my career in the military, which means hobnobbing and playing the social game when needed, and being patient when things change. Most of all, I want someone who will be my friend and partner in all seasons of life. If I can find that, I’m all set.
So, here’s my question for you:
Would you want to try video chat sometime?
Colton
My heart raced, getting faster and more frantic when thinking the terms “wife” and “us” as the seriousness and weight of it all hit me. Instead of being repelled, I was more drawn in than ever. The life he talked about sounded so exciting and adventurous. I’d never been outside the country before, and the idea of going overseas floored me, let alone living in Europe. It was a dream I’d never even let myself have.
Beyond all of it though, was the sweetness and almost poetic way he described what he was looking for.
A friend and partner in all seasons of life.
Reading it again sent chills all over my body.
I clicked reply, and wrote a very simple reply back.
Colton
I’d love to.
Karena
Chapter Eight: Colton
Karena’s reply came to me in the middle of my night out with Miles and Lucas. I’d had a few beers, and both of my buddies were at the bar, ordering our next round, when my phone chirped. I pulled up the email, and smiled. It was nearing midnight, but Karena was three hours behind. I shot a look over at the bar, and laughed to myself as I spotted Miles and Lucas chatting up two of the girls they’d been watching on the dance floor. It was obvious the girls had indulged in one too many margaritas, and their salsa dancing had gradually gone from sultry to borderline stripper.
They weren’t going to miss me if I ducked out early, went back home, and called Karena on video chat.
My mind made up, I hopped down from the tall bar stool at the table we’d been holding down for the past couple of hours, dropped a twenty on the tabletop, and went to say goodbye to my friends. They put up a fight, telling me to stay and have another round, but I declined and made my way out. When I glanced back, they were each leading a lady back to the dance floor and I smiled. They’d be just fine without me.
I paused in the driver’s seat before starting the car, long enough to tap out a reply to Karena, asking for her screen name and letting her know I’d call as soon as I got home again.
I raced home, finding it hard to keep myself at the speed limit, and only when I was dialing Karena’s virtual phone number, did a burst of nervousness flare up in the pit of my stomach.
When the screen stilled, and then changed from a blue background, to the beginnings of a video feed, my heart dropped to my toes. Karena’s face burst through, smiling with a tenseness that mirrored my nerves. “Hi!” Her voice was sweet, but with a smoky undertone that immediately soaked into my skin and kicked my body temperature up a few degrees.
She was even more stunning than in her pictures. Her hair was in loose waves, and although she was wearing makeup, it was minimal, and not so done-up like in the majority of her pictures. I’d always preferred a more natural look, and damn, did she make it look good.
“Can you hear me?” She asked, crinkling her brows together and leaning in a little closer to the camera. “I’ve never used the video on here before…”
“You’re perfect!” I burst out.
Karena pulled back and her cheeks went pink. “Not so bad yourself,” she replied, with a half cocked smile that stopped my heart.
I smiled and ducked my chin in a slight nod, recovering from my momentary falter. “Thanks. I’ve never really done this before either, so we can be weird and awkward together.”
“Fantastic,” she said, smiling back at me.
My heart raced and my thoughts jumbled. She was just too damn sexy.
“Isn’t it kinda late for you?” She asked, filling my distracted silence.
“Sorta,” I answered, my eyes darting to the clock in the lower corner of my screen. “But my time clock is all tweaked out right now. I just got back to Georgia after being overseas for the last six months. So, I’m still halfway on Afghanistan time. For whatever reason, my system doesn’t do well with time changes.”
“Six months? Wow.”
“Yeah. My unit was doing some training over there, prepping the soldiers on the ground about to cross over into Iraq.”
Karena let out a low whistle. “So, you’re pretty advanced, then? I mean, to be in charge of training and stuff.”
I nodded. “Yeah. I’m technically special ops, I’m a Ranger. But, my career goals have changed recently, so right now, I’m focused more on training and leading. But, you don’t really wanna hear all about that.”
“No, I do, actually! I think it’s really interesting. I mean, that’s kinda your whole life, right?”
I had to admit she was right. “It has been. Yeah. My father is a retired Three Star General, which is a pretty big deal. So, I’ve lived the army brat life since my first breath, basically.”
Karena shifted in her seat, leaning back slightly. “So, let me ask, did you go into the military because you wanted to, or because you felt like you should?”
I laughed. “Whoa, diggin’ right into it, huh?”
“This from the guy who put I want a wife, in an online dating profile?” Karena fired back with an arched brow. The smile playing at her lips burst into a melodic peal of laughter. “I don’t think I’m the only direct one in this relation—well, whatever this is.” She ducked her chin and tucked a loose lock of hair behind her ear, looking almost embarrassed by her near slip.
I laughed with her and held my palms up in surrender. “Touché. Touché. Um, let’s see, it was a little bit of both. My father wanted me to enlist, of course, but it wasn’t that I was forced. I’m comfortable with it, it’s the only life I’ve ever known, so it was a natural thing for
me to enlist.”
“Makes sense. What would you do if you weren’t in the military?”
I smiled at her question and the way she cut right to the heart of it. If I’d had any remaining worries that speaking with Karena would be awkward or that we’d struggle to come up with anything to talk about, they were quickly dispelled. “Well, at one point, it was football. That was my outlet through school, and I actually got offered a full scholarship to play in Houston. So, I guess, if I hadn’t gone into the Army, I’d be playing in the NFL—or at least, that was the path I’d been on. Who knows if I would have actually made it pro.”
Karena’s jaw dropped. “Holy crap. Are you sure you’re human? You sound like some kind of comic book hero. I mean really, the story writes itself. You’re this amazing athlete, but you turn that all down to serve your country.” She shook her head in amused disbelief. “If we ever meet, are you going to duck into a telephone booth and pop out wearing some kind of spandex costume with a red cape?”
I threw my head back and howled with laughter. Karena laughed along with me and the melodic giggles floored me. “I can assure you, I don’t have a cape, and unless you have some kind of latex fetish, I’m never going to wear anything skintight.”
“Drats,” she teased.
My body went hot at the suggestive look in her eyes. My list of proper, first date questions that I’d carefully been cataloging in my mind, vanished. All I could think about were how sweet her lips were and wondering what might happen if we weren’t a couple thousand miles away from each other.
* * * *
The days passed in a flurry, every waking moment spent wandering through a wonderland of conversations with Karena. At the end of our first video chat, we’d exchanged phone numbers, and texted like mad throughout the day, and spent hours on the phone each night. I had a feeling that even if we weren’t going into things at an accelerated pace, we would have acted the exact same way. It was like we couldn’t get enough of one another, and although we both ended up sleep deprived, neither of us complained.