Shivers

by Remmy Duchene

  When the smoke cleared, Goji was on the ground and Osaki landed beside him, re-sheathing his sword. “What are you doing?” Kofi asked. “You cannot let him leave here.”

  “I will not make that mistake twice.”

  “Twice?” Kofi was confused. “This shit happened before?”

  “I will explain later… Goji, I now pass sentence over you…” Osaki spoke, dropping to one knee beside the fallen Shiver.

  “You can’t…do that. You are no elder Shiver…”

  A smile passed Osaki’s lips. “You forget, Goji, my Shiver soul comes from Aerios. That makes me…”

  Goji’s eyes widened. “Elder…”

  “That is correct.”

  Osaki folded his ring finger and his pinky finger into his palm while pressing his index finger, middle finger and thumb together. He turned his hand, palm down, and pressed it against Goji’s chest. “Last word, Goji,” Osaki demanded.

  The defiant look in Goji’s eyes only served to anger Kofi further. The little shit was smiling. Though the urge to kick Goji in the ribs was strong, Kofi backed up a little as a white light rose from Goji’s chest. The rebellious look changed to fear as the glow rose skyward. Osaki shoved the light upward and Kofi watched it float up then disappear into the clouds.

  All was silent.

  The light returned, only this time it was red and carried by Hades.

  “I shall put this one in a place where he will not escape,” Hades promised.

  Kofi took a breath and watched the wordless conversation between Hades and Osaki.

  “You must tell Ciro, Osaki,” Hades said then with a nod toward Kofi, Hades was gone.

  Osaki walked Kofi into the house and sat him down. Each time he pushed Kofi into the sofa, the man kept standing and trying to speak.

  “Kofi, you are bleeding,” Osaki explained. “I wish to tend to that.”

  “Hades is right, you know? You have to call Ciro.”

  “And I will do that—after I make sure you are not seriously injured. Now please… Sit.”

  He could tell Kofi wanted to argue again but he sat. Osaki gripped the shirtsleeve in his hands and pulled. The material tore away, showing the long cut against Kofi’s arm. He felt sick. It hurt him seeing Kofi in pain. “Damnation,” Osaki swore.

  “This is not your fault, Osaki.”

  “Then who is at fault? I should be able to protect you,” Osaki said with a frown. “I took my eyes off him for a second and…”

  Kofi lifted his good hand to cradle one side of Osaki’s face. “I’m not a child.”

  He enjoyed Kofi’s touch—warm and tender. “You do not understand, Kofi, and I cannot allow them to harm you.”

  Kofi lowered his hands.

  Osaki’s mind went back to running a mile minute as he cleaned the wound and wrapped it. He then called for Ciro, who appeared almost instantly.

  “What is this about a dead Shiver?” Ciro questioned. “Kofi…”

  “I’m fine,” Kofi said, holding up a hand. “Osaki is taking good care of me. Sucker just came out of nowhere.”

  Ciro didn’t look impressed and Osaki couldn’t say he blamed him. This was his husband’s brother. Kofi patted Ciro on the shoulder and left the room. Osaki fell into the seat as if his legs had given out.

  “I took my eyes off him,” Osaki admitted. “He went after Kofi and I took my eyes off him. I could not stand the thought of Kofi getting hurt and it clouded my senses.”

  “That makes sense. He is our friend.”

  “It is more than that. I did the one thing human rules of homosexuality stress. I think I have fallen for him.”

  “Because you are concerned for him does not mean you are falling for him.”

  “I told Ares the other day… I told him something and he recommended I speak with you.” Osaki sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I can hear him. When he calls I hear him…”

  Ciro tilted his head. “When who calls? Ares?”

  “No.” Osaki shook his head. “Kofi. I can hear him when he calls for me.”

  “Oh my.”

  “What?”

  “We Shivers have a special ability. We are able to hear when our lovers call. And not just any lover… We can hear when the love we are supposed to spend our forever with calls. Did you two make love?”

  “No!” Osaki snapped. “He is not into my kind.”

  “That is most strange.”

  “Ciro—speak plain, man!”

  “This generally does not happen until after you make love. I am uncertain why your case is different. I shall speak with Mother on it. In the meantime, be careful here. I shall visit Hades and speak with Goji. I have a very bad feeling about this attack.”

  “This was not the first.”

  “Osaki…”

  “Sisqo and I were attacked on a recent patrol. I thought nothing of it.”

  Ciro rose and paced the space. That only made Osaki worry more. “I thought after my death, things would be easier but, Ciro, this is insane.”

  “I understand, but do not worry. We will figure this out. Tell me what Goji said to you.”

  “Nothing worth mentioning. I know your brothers have it out for me. They believe me weak and insignificant. They believe I should not have the power I was given. But Aerios committed a crime. He was punished for it. I take no responsibility for his demise.”

  “As you should not,” Ciro replied. “I must return to my mother’s house. Carter may be concerned. Take care of Kofi.”

  “Of course.”

  With a hug, Ciro was gone. For a silent moment, Osaki remained alone, face buried in his hands. The fates were toying with him—he knew that now. They were breaking his heart over and over. It was his own fault. He should not have allowed himself to develop such deep feelings for a man he could never have. But his heart was weak. He did not feel like a samurai.

  A delicious scent wafted into the room and Osaki stood and followed his nose. In the kitchen, he found Kofi busily floating around the kitchen as if he was born to be there. Osaki leaned into the doorframe, arms across his chest, and watched him. The real estate agent had a body to die for—muscular in just the right places and the perfect amount. His back went from wide shoulders, down to a slender waist and a bubble of an ass to make a grown man cry.

  “Is everything straightened out between you and Ciro?” Kofi was asking.

  Osaki shook his head. “He has to check a few things out…”

  “Are you hungry?”

  “Yes…” In his head, Osaki wasn’t agreeing to food. He offered a smile. “How is your arm? Should you be cooking with your arm like that?”

  Kofi gave him a warm smile and walked toward him. “Thanks for worrying, but I’m fine…” Kofi stopped before him and tilted his head. “I know men who fight, Osaki. They never take their eyes off the enemy, even when someone is screaming. You looked away. Why?”

  Their eyes met and for an instant, Osaki felt his heart lurch toward Kofi. “I do not know how to answer that.”

  “Okay, another question.” Kofi’s voice dipped low. It was soft and trembling.

  “You are shaking. Are you cold?”

  “No… Terrified,” Kofi replied.

  Osaki stepped closer and held Kofi’s shoulders. “Of me?”

  “Yes…”

  “Have I given you a reason to fear me, Kofi? I know I was not able to protect you like I should but there is no reason for trepidation.”

  Kofi smiled. They were closer now, so close that Osaki thought for sure Kofi would step away. When he didn’t, Osaki released a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding and inched even closer. He could feel Kofi’s breath against his face and it burned in him the sweetest way imaginable. “I am going to kiss you, Kofi. Please walk away if that is not what you wish to happen here.”

  “I’m not sure what I want, what I’m feeling. I don’t have control over it anymore and I’m so lost.”

  Osaki sighed and brushed his lips gently against Ko
fi’s. For what felt like an eternity, they stood like that, Osaki’s hands on Kofi’s shoulder, their lips pressed together. Each time Osaki inhaled, all he could feel, smell and taste was Kofi. “I cannot seem to think of anything but you.” The words slipped out before Osaki could stop them.

  To his greatest pleasure, Kofi licked at his lips then sought entrance to his mouth. Helpless under the tender assault, Osaki wrapped his one arm around Kofi’s back and pulled him into his chest. Cradling the back of Kofi’s head, he pressed his lips gently to Kofi’s. He nibbled at Kofi’s mouth, enjoying the electricity that it caused. Still, he couldn’t help feeling some hesitation on Kofi’s part. Perhaps it was because Kofi had never kissed a man before. Whatever the reason, Osaki tried his best to control himself—to hold off—but Kofi’s body against him was the best kind of aphrodisiac he could ever experience.

  After so long of yearning for Kofi, their intimate encounter was more than Osaki had imagined. It turned his insides into a hot rush and made his heart pound in exhilaration. He loved the way Kofi tasted, the feel of his full lips taking control and giving it back before sucking against Osaki’s bottom lips. Osaki moaned as Kofi dragged a hand up his back.

  For a split second, their lips parted for he suddenly couldn’t breathe and panic set in, but not for long. Soon he felt his back hit the wall and Kofi fell into his chest. Their lips fused again. Osaki deepened the kiss, feeling his tongue swirled around Kofi’s. Osaki moaned, pressing his hips inward, without thinking.

  That did it.

  Kofi jerked from his arms and backed away, touching his lips in what had to be a daze. His eyes glossed over and Kofi’s hands were shaking.

  “Kofi…”

  But Kofi simply shook his head. Osaki stepped toward him and Kofi lifted a hand. “No.”

  “Kofi, please…”

  “I just need to be alone.”

  Before he could gather himself, wrap his mind around Kofi’s answer, Kofi was gone, footsteps storming down the corridor.

  Chapter Ten

  Stunned, Kofi couldn’t understand the emotions flowing through him. It was as if he was feeling everything at once and his head was about to explode. He was so surprised his legs kept him standing up the stairs, down the corridor and into his room. Kofi’s hand shook so badly against the doorknob. He had to stop, inhale, hold the breath and try again. This time he was successful and when he let himself into the bedroom, all he managed to do was slam the door closed before leaning heavily against it.

  His lips burned as though he’d been eating something spicy and he could still feel Osaki’s mouth on them. It was that sweet sensation that spoke of something satisfying. Still, Kofi was mortified by the way his body had reacted to the kiss and the fact that it had happened at all. To make it all worse, he was aroused and in pain from the bolt striking through his arm. Kofi shifted, pressed his back to the wall and slid all the way down until his butt hit the floor. His eyes stung with unshed tears and he covered his mouth with his hand as the thought of what that meant came to him.

  I can’t be…

  It was too late in his life. Surely that meant he wasn’t gay. He was staring forty in the face, and who came out so late? It wasn’t normal. Then again, Osaki wasn’t either. Each time he thought of the hardness of Osaki’s body—the feel of him, the smell of him—Kofi got harder. He pulsed against his jeans, shooting desire up his spine that ricocheted off his nipples. He would have called Carter, but with him being in the Hall of Winds, that wasn’t a possibility. Instead, he remained where he was, staring into space until Osaki started knocking.

  Kofi could have pretended he didn’t hear or told Osaki to go away, but he’d just appear in the room. Kofi rose, ensured his face was dry of any tears that might have fallen while he was in deep contemplation then opened the door. He wanted to hold onto some control over the situation.

  Osaki stared at him in that slow way he did when he was in a very profound thinking process.

  “What?” Kofi asked, turning away from the man’s prying eyes.

  “I did not mean to hurt you or make things…strained between us,” Osaki said softly. “Please… You have to believe that.”

  Kofi flopped to his bed and clasped his hands in his lap. He stared at his fingers, for it was easier than meeting Osaki’s brown gaze. “I believe you.”

  “Please look at…” Osaki stopped and glanced up. “Not now…”

  “What’s the matter?”

  “I am being summoned. Please do not leave here. I must speak with you.”

  Though Kofi wasn’t sure where Osaki thought he would go, he nodded and took a breath as the Shiver stepped toward him. It seemed that Osaki had thought better of what he was thinking of doing.

  “Can you call Ciro and ask him to bring Carter here?”

  “For you, Kofi, anything,” was Osaki’s simple reply then he was gone. Kofi exhaled long and hard, feeling his body throb sweetly.

  He stood by the window, staring out, wishing Osaki was there but happy that he wasn’t. Those were the contradictions going through him. He stood there for a while, feeling as though if he moved his legs would fail.

  “Kofi?”

  With his heart racing, Kofi swung around, for he thought for sure one of those stupid Shivers was in the room with him. It took a moment for his brain to recognize Carter and Ciro standing there. He watched Ciro kiss his brother, wave to him and shimmer away. Carter instantly rushed to Kofi’s side and grasped his shoulders. “Bro, what’s going on? Are you okay? And what happened to your arm?”

  “Rogue Shiver attack—came after Osaki and got me.”

  “Where was Osaki?”

  “Give him a break, huh, bro?” Kofi pleaded, exhausted. “He did the best he could.”

  “But…”

  “You know Osaki wouldn’t intentionally let anything happen to me. He loves Ciro. Ciro loves you. You love me. See how that works?” Kofi inhaled, weak with the tension in his heart and spine. “He protected me but that’s not why I called you here. Something happened and I don’t know how to deal with it.”

  “Tell me.”

  Kofi shook his head and fell into Carter’s chest. He held on tightly while Carter rubbed his back and returned the hug. The last time he had felt this down was the day he’d found out he’d failed his physical and couldn’t join the NYPD. “I—I don’t know what’s happening. I really need you…”

  “Sure, Kof—whatever you want. But you have to tell me what’s wrong. You said something happened. Let’s start there.”

  “I, um…” Kofi swallowed. “My body is rebelling. I can’t control it. You can’t hate me for what I’m about to tell you.”

  “Damn it to hell, Kofi Arturo Olabasu!”

  “I think I’m gay.”

  Silence followed the words and for a moment, he thought for sure that Carter was disappointed, even angry at him. Then suddenly Carter burst into laughter, causing his large body to rock with it. He laughed so hard, he doubled over.

  “I didn’t think it was funny!” Kofi huffed.

  “Kofi, you’re not gay. And even if you were, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. What’s really wrong?”

  Kofi stepped back and eyed his brother with irritation. Why Carter would think Kofi was making something like that up was beyond him. He turned and returned to his post by the window, folding his arms over his chest. He pressed his forehead into the window.

  “Why do you think you’re gay?”

  “I can feel Osaki. I don’t even have to see him to know he’s there. And just now… Just minutes ago, we kissed and I…”

  “Enjoyed it.”

  “Yes. And it’s not just that I enjoyed it but I wanted more—I want more. I was aroused by it— Hell! I’m still turned on now.” Kofi looked at brother. He tilted his head to the side and the tears rolled down his cheeks as Carter stepped forward and gently cradled his face. “How can I be gay? Wouldn’t I have known?”

  “Kof, it takes more than a kiss with the same se
x to make you gay. Yes, a man kissed you. Yes, you enjoyed it, but it’s not written in stone.”

  “Trust me, Carter—I know you’re trying to help but—”

  “But nothing. At some point in most men’s lives, they experiment. It’s a normal part of being human.”

  Kofi shook his head. “No, this was not an experiment, Carter. I feel things for Osaki I’ve never felt for anyone else.”

  “Well, now we’re talking.”

  “How did you deal with this? Especially with telling me and everyone else. How do you deal with the thoughts flying through your head and all these damn emotions? It’s like they’re all swarming in on me at once.”

  Carter smiled gently, stepped in close and kissed Kofi’s forehead. He wrapped an arm around his shoulder and hugged tightly. “It wasn’t easy.”

  “And I didn’t make it any better for you either. I made it worse with the way I reacted. The sad truth is, I don’t even know why I freaked out the way I did. I tried telling myself it was because I was worried people would make your life hell, but that reason never made sense to me.”

  “You’re my brother. And even if you weren’t, I take no pleasure in kicking someone when they’re down. Want my advice?”

  “Yes.”

  Carter bit his lower lip—a look Kofi knew too well. It was the one he got when his brother was deciding if he should say what was on his mind or walk away.

  “Osaki is a good guy,” Carter began. “He’s loyal and honorable. The two of you need to sit and talk about this kiss, because if not, it’s going to fester. It’s going to torture you and maybe destroy him—do you understand?”

  “Are you saying I should explore this with Osaki?”

  Carter shrugged and sat on the bed. “What’s the worst that could happen? You find out you’re not gay—maybe bisexual—and life goes on.”

  “But I don’t know if I see myself living happily ever after with a man.”

  “I didn’t either. I mean, the day it hit me that I was gay, it was like getting punched in the gut over and over. I couldn’t breathe. I just wanted to hide and when I thought of telling you, I wanted to die. But there’s no shame in it. It’s different… I’m not going to lie.”