“Stop. You don’t mean what you’re suggesting. It was clear that young woman was hurting, and we all need to support her if she wants to be a mother to her daughter. It’s the right thing to do.”
For a moment, he wished he could be old Nick—selfish Nick—the one who didn’t care about doing the right thing. Instead, he gritted his teeth and nodded. “Why does doing the right thing sometimes feel like crap?”
“I wish I knew,” the social worker murmured. “I convinced Francesca to schedule an appointment with me to discuss the future. We’re supposed to meet a couple of days after Christmas when the office reopens. I encouraged her to tell me her plans over the phone or come in earlier, but she’s visiting friends in Arizona and was adamant about the timing.”
“So now we wait.”
Jennifer nodded. “Do you want to tell Brynn?”
“Um, no.” Nick shook his head. “Not at all.”
“I’ll call her, then.”
“No.”
The social worker blinked like she was having trouble understanding him. Nick knew he was taking a risk, but the fear of losing Remi would overshadow everything about Christmas for Brynn. He’d vowed to make her holiday happy, and he was determined to see that through.
“You want to keep this from her?” Jennifer made a tsking noise like a disappointed schoolteacher. “She has a right to know. It affects her the most.”
“I get that,” Nick agreed. “I just want to wait until after Christmas to tell her. She and Tyler have been through so much this year. They deserve a happy holiday, and the thought of Francesca returning would cast a shadow over everything.”
“It’s a real possibility that she’ll want another chance with her baby.”
“Yes, but not a guarantee.” Nick ran a hand through his hair, wishing he could come up with a better plan. A way to tell Brynn everything now without hurting her. But he couldn’t, so he’d protect her the only way he knew how.
“You said she won’t be back until after the holiday anyway. I’ll tell Brynn then, so she can prepare for what might happen. In the meantime, I’m holding out hope for a Christmas miracle.”
Jennifer closed her eyes briefly. “I don’t like this, but you know Brynn better than me. If you think the news would be too hard before Christmas, then we wait. But she has to know, Nick. Not dealing with it won’t make the situation go away.”
“I understand. Thanks, Jen. I promise I’ll fill her in on everything. You’ll call if you hear anything more from Francesca?”
“Yeah.” She inclined her head as she studied him. “I’m surprised at how easily you’ve adjusted to taking care of a baby.”
“I watched Mr. Mom at least half a dozen times,” he said with a laugh. He needed to keep the conversation light so that he wouldn’t blurt out how much Remi had come to mean to him in the past couple of weeks. Brynn wasn’t the only one who’d be distraught if the baby’s mother returned. He’d never admit it out loud—at least not yet—but Nick had started fantasizing about the future and what it would look like if he, Brynn, Tyler and Remi became a real family. If he claimed them as his own.
It was the future he’d never expected but one that called to his heart.
“You’re doing a good job,” Jennifer said. “I wish all of our foster family situations went this smoothly.”
He walked her to the entrance of the station and watched as she got into her dark blue sedan and drove away. The morning had started out sunny and mild, but in the past hour the wind had picked up and gray clouds were moving in. He tried not to see the changing weather as a harbinger of things to come.
Instead, he focused on the positive. Maybe the falling temperatures and overcast skies would mean snow for the valley. A white Christmas in Starlight and a happy holiday for Brynn no matter what Nick had to do to make it so.
* * *
“You’re welcome to stay a couple more days. It’s not a big deal and that way Tyler and Remi could wake up together on Christmas morning.”
Brynn waited until Nick turned around from loading the final suitcase into her trunk, then lifted onto her toes and brushed a kiss across his mouth. “Thank you for everything,” she said, splaying her hand over his chest. They were loading her car while Remi stayed inside with Nick’s mom, and Tyler had gone on a quick playdate to Max’s house. “As tempted as I am by your offer, it’s important for Tyler to sleep in his own bed on Christmas Eve. We have a tradition with cookies for Santa and carrots for the reindeer.”
“I heard reindeer like cupcakes,” Nick said, one side of his mouth curving.
“Only Rudolph.” She winked. “I’m going to get us settled at the house and then we’ll see you later at Parker’s.”
He kissed her again. “I’ll miss you.”
“We’re talking a few hours, Chief.”
“Doesn’t matter.” He pulled her in for a hug and she wrapped her arms around his waist.
“I wonder how many of your neighbors are watching us,” she murmured.
“That doesn’t matter, either.” He leaned back, tipping up her chin until she met his gaze. “I don’t want to hide what’s going on between us.”
She chewed on her bottom lip. His words sent a combination of trepidation and delight spiraling through her. She didn’t want to hide, either, but a part of her still didn’t trust that Nick Dunlap would be truly interested in her. So much had changed from those years of unrequited love back in high school, but her heart still bore the scars of his tacit rejection.
She’d felt like she was getting her life back on track after Daniel’s death. Could she risk opening her heart to Nick again? What if he hadn’t changed as much as she thought? What if he hurt her and this time she didn’t recover?
“You’re thinking too hard,” he said, tapping her forehead with one gentle finger.
“What’s going on between us?” she blurted.
He looked confused. “We’re together.” He said the words like they were obvious.
“But what does that mean?” She narrowed her eyes. “To you.”
His chest rose and fell as he drew in a long breath, then glanced at a spot over her shoulder. Maybe she shouldn’t push him. Maybe she should enjoy the way he made her feel and not worry about anything more.
But Brynn had become too good at ignoring things over the years. As much as she loved—yes, loved—Nick, she was learning that loving herself was just as important. Part of that meant not settling. She wasn’t willing to simply wait to see what bone he’d throw her. The new Brynn would fight for what she wanted, but first she needed to know where they stood. If a future was even a possibility.
“It means I don’t want to hide. I want to take you on dates—more than twelve—and be a part of your life, of Tyler’s and Remi’s lives.”
“Okay,” she said slowly. It wasn’t exactly the grand declaration of love she might have wanted, but it was a start. “I do have some dates to make up for.”
“You’ve already met your dozen quota,” he told her proudly. “But you can tell your friends that I’ve got plans for more.”
She released him and took a step back. “Wait.” She thought back to the past couple of weeks. “The picnic, lunch dates, candlelight dinners after the kids went to bed? Those were official dates?”
Nick looked affronted. “You couldn’t tell?”
The laughter bubbled up inside her, unbidden, spilling out until she was doubled over, her shoulders shaking.
“My attempts at dating are funny to you?”
“Yes,” she managed between fits of laughter.
“What did you think was happening?”
She straightened, wiping tears from the corners of her eyes, and then dissolved into another fit of giggles at the way Nick was glaring at her. “I thought you were distracting me.”
“Brynn.” He threw up his hands. “I�
��m courting you.”
“No one courts anyone these days,” she said, still smiling at the sweet sentiment. “We’ve been living together, Nick. That horse kind of left the barn already.”
He shook his head. “Then it’s a good thing you’re moving back to your own house, because we’re courting. I’m going to take you out on dates and show you off to the whole town. Heck, I might even post a selfie of the two of us to the official Facebook page.” He stepped closer, cupped her cheeks between his warm palms.
The way he held her face made her feel special, cherished. And she realized that’s what he’d been doing the past several weeks. No wonder she’d fallen for him all over again. He might not be the gregarious charmer of their teenage years, but his appeal as a grown man was even more devastating.
At least for her.
“You mean the world to me,” he said, and her heart thumped against her chest. “I missed my chance ten years ago, but I’m going to make up for lost time.”
“I like the sound of that,” she said softly but pulled away when he would have kissed her again. “Right now, though, I need to unload the car before Max’s mom drops off Tyler. This might be the last year he believes in Santa. I need to hide the presents while I still have time.”
“Are you sure I can’t pick you up tonight?” He held her hand as she moved around the car to the driver’s-side door, then lifted her fingers for a soft kiss.
“I told Mara I’d get there early to help with dinner preparations. We’ll see you and Remi later. Tell Ella we expect to see her there, as well.”
He seemed reluctant to let her go, which made butterflies flit across her stomach all over again.
She waved in the rearview mirror and smiled at the thought that she was about to have her best Christmas ever.
* * *
“Tyler, we’re leaving in ten minutes,” Brynn called up the stairs a few hours later.
“I’m almost done arranging Legos,” he shouted from his bedroom.
Happiness bloomed in her chest at how elated he sounded. Although she already missed being under the same roof with Nick and Remi, it was good to be back in her own house.
Her house...only better. Josh and his crew had done an amazing job with the renovation. The carpet and tile were both new, and he’d managed to find maple cabinets at a great price, so the insurance money covered all of the updates.
The first floor had received a new coat of paint, a cheery sage green that Daniel would have hated. She pressed a hand to her stomach as she thought about her late husband and the years they’d muddled along together, neither one of them anywhere near happy in their marriage.
Brynn had been so determined not to raise her son on her own. All of her life, she’d watched and listened to her mother’s subtle and obvious complaints about single parenthood. Although Brynn had never known any different, her mom seemed to believe their lives would have been so much better if Brynn’s father hadn’t left when she was a baby.
Her mom had always told her fatherhood was too much for some men and had encouraged her to make sure Daniel didn’t see Tyler as a burden.
The implication, of course, being that Brynn had been exactly that to the man who’d left both her and her mom.
She wondered what would have happened if she or Daniel had voiced their dissatisfaction with their marriage. Obviously, her late husband found outlets for his unhappiness. Brynn had thrown herself into being the perfect mom and the most upbeat, helpful version of herself that she could.
She’d never complained. Never asked for anything for herself. Mainly because she didn’t want her son to feel the guilt she’d grown up with—guilt for being born and changing her own mother’s life.
But she’d been a shadow of a person and had come to not like or respect herself very much. And if she didn’t respect herself, how could she expect anyone else to?
That was changing. She’d changed, and she liked the new version of herself.
She walked toward the kitchen to pull the potato and-fennel gratin she’d made from the oven. Mara was the best baker Brynn had ever met, so they left the fancy desserts to her and the rest of the group was bringing side dishes for the meat Parker was planning to smoke. This marked the first year their group of friends was getting together for a big Christmas Eve celebration.
In the past, Daniel watched football while Brynn and Tyler binged on holiday movies in the bedroom. She’d always envied close-knit families with boisterous celebrations. Brynn’s mom had left for winter in Florida and would stay there until spring.
A sound at the back door had her glancing around. She gasped and rushed forward, her heart suddenly thumping hard against her rib cage.
“Francesca,” she breathed, as she threw open the door.
The petite brunette stood outside in the cold air, her hair pulled back in a low ponytail. She wore a light jacket that wasn’t nearly enough protection from the wintry wind blowing. It was almost five o’clock and shadows blanketed the backyard, which was covered with a fine dusting of snow. Not enough for sledding or snowball fights but enough that they’d have a white Christmas, which had made Tyler inordinately happy.
“Merry Christmas,” the other woman said, almost shyly. “I know I shouldn’t be here.”
“It’s fine.” A cacophony of emotions clamored through her—fear, anxiety, resentment, guilt. Brynn gave herself a mental shake and stepped back into the house. “Please come in. Come out of the cold.”
Francesca frowned as if she wanted to refuse but then stepped into the house. “It smells nice in here. Like garlic.”
“It’s a potato casserole.” Brynn smiled, although the muscles of her face felt stiff. She wanted to be kind, but panic clawed at her chest. Had Francesca returned for Remi? “Can I get you a glass of water or tea?”
“No.” Francesca glanced around the kitchen. “It’s not the same.”
“There was a fire,” Brynn answered with a grimace. “Nothing serious. Faulty lights on the Christmas tree. But we had to move out for a couple of weeks. In fact, this is our first night back in the house. My son wanted to wake up here on Christmas morning. Santa Claus and all that.”
“Tyler,” Francesca whispered. “Daniel spoke about him often.”
Resentment made Brynn’s chest tighten and she resisted the urge to curl her lip. As much as she wanted to show kindness to a woman who needed it, she didn’t appreciate the reminder of Francesca’s relationship with Daniel. Who knew if he really had been planning to leave Brynn for this woman standing in her kitchen once again? Knowing Daniel, he could have been playing them both.
“How’s Remi?” Francesca asked, her gaze darting past Brynn.
“She’s good.” Brynn managed another smile. “Healthy. She rolled from her back to her tummy.” She pulled the phone from her back pocket. “I have a video. Would you like to see?”
“No.” The word came out on a sharp exhalation of breath. “It’s not a good idea. I hadn’t planned on coming here.” Her fingers picked at one of the buttons on her jacket.
“I’m glad you did,” Brynn told her. “We were worried about you. How have you been?”
More fidgeting. “I’m staying with my cousin in Arizona, and I’ve been offered a job in one of the local school districts. I know the official meeting with the social worker isn’t until after Christmas, but the decision about the future and Remi—it’s all I can think about.”
“You have a meeting scheduled with Jennifer?” Brynn frowned.
“She said she’d talk to the police chief because he’s Remi’s foster parent right now.” She held up her hands when Brynn gaped at her, obviously misunderstanding Brynn’s reaction. “I’m sure you’ll be approved. Daniel told me all you cared about was being a mom. He said you probably wouldn’t even notice when he left.”
Brynn had trouble processing Francesca’s words over the
pounding in her head. “Nick knew you were coming back?” she whispered, her voice hoarse.
“That’s what the caseworker told me. But don’t worry. I’m going to sign the papers to terminate my parental rights.” Her voice cracked on the last words. “I want what’s best for my baby, and I believe you’re it. I’ve had a lot of time to think over the past few weeks.” She laughed softly. “I’ve done very little except think. Can I admit something to you?”
Brynn nodded, still trying to wrap her mind around this latest turn of events.
“I didn’t miss her.” Francesca swiped at her cheeks and Brynn’s heart ached for the pain in the woman’s voice. “Does that make me a horrible person? I’m her mom, and I didn’t miss her. I liked being able to sleep in and only worry about my schedule. I love her, but I don’t want to be her mother.”
“That’s not horrible.” Brynn reached out and squeezed Francesca’s trembling hand. “It takes courage to do what’s right for your child even when society makes you think you’re wrong for that decision. I know what it’s like to be judged, and I believe you’re doing the right thing. I promise Remi will always know you loved her. Your daughter will grow up understanding both of her mothers loved her in the best way they could.”
“Thank you,” Francesca said with a sniff. “I want to tell you how sorry I am again that I believed the things Daniel said about you. That you were weak and boring. He didn’t know you at all.”
Brynn offered the other woman a shaky smile. “Apparently, he’s not the only one. Would you like me to be there when you meet with Jennifer to sign the papers? I understand what it’s like to feel alone.”
“Yeah.” Francesca nodded, then offered the time of the appointment. Brynn put the date into her calendar and walked Remi’s biological mother to her car.
She’d offered Francesca to stay the night with them, but the woman seemed eager to be on her way.
Relief should be her overwhelming sensation. She knew that. Her mind understood it and her heart felt it, but the joy at knowing Remi would be hers was tempered by the disappointment and humiliation that Nick had kept the knowledge of Francesca’s return from her.
His Last-Chance Christmas Family Page 17