by Kaylee, Katy
“Hey, Tommy, man-“ Thomas twisted sharply, his eyes widening, and his smile froze on his face before faded. “I’ve been really worried about you. Are you doing okay?”
“Uh- yeah- yeah, I’m okay. Actually-“ Pushing himself hastily out of the wire seat, Thomas gestured to his girlfriend, and she set her fork down to smile broadly. “This is Sarah… she’s been helping me out-“
“You can say it- I’m a stripper.” My brows shot up, and Gwen came up next to me to draw Sarah’s pretty, light brown eyes. “You must be Gwen. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Wai- woah- hold it- back up. Did I interrupt a, like, therapy session or something?” Astonishment dribbled from my tone, and Sarah leaned back in her seat to cast a look at Thomas. My best friend turned a shade of pink, and he reached to rub the back of his neck gingerly.
“Uh- yeah. We met a couple weeks ago, and Sarah’s been helping me figure things out.” Anxious eyes flickered to Gwen, and Thomas pursed his lips thinly before continuing. The discomfort radiated off him in powerful waves, and I tightened my grip on the cart. “She’s really open about what she went through- um- so, I’ve been wanting to apologize, Gwen. For everything. And, I was hoping- I was hoping that, you know, we could… talk…”
“I’d like that a lot, Tommy.” Gwen’s voice shone with her smile, and I wrapped my arm around her as Tom perked up a little. “Maybe you both can come over tomorrow night- we can have dinner together? I’m making lemon chicken.”
“Y- yeah- okay, sure. We- I… I’ll be there.”
Gwen
Opening my front door, I tried to hide my surprise when Thomas appeared on the other side. My heart squeezed at the simple fact that he’d actually shown up, and I stepped to the side to let him and Sarah in.
“I hope you’re hungry.” Smiling when Sarah nodded furiously, I pushed down the nerves that roiled my stomach. “I’m glad you came. I wanted to apologize for hitting you…”
“No- Gwen. I deserved it.” My cheek twitched at the solemn tone, and Tommy reached out to squeeze my bicep- if such a weak touch could be called. He studiously ignored my massive baby bump, and my smile faltered as he huffed a stabilizing breath. “I deserved it. Ryan has been telling me for years- even before you came back- that I needed to change, but… I never listened. I didn’t think I had to change. I guess, I needed a literal slap to the face to really get it.”
“Oh- okay. Well… the kitchen is right this way. Ryan should be down in a minute.” Rolling my lips between my teeth when I turned away, I inhaled deep and exhaled silently through my nose. “It’s the final stretch. We painted the nursery yesterday, but it needed another coat, so…”
“What’s- uh- what’s its name going to be?” Oh, yeah… Thomas doesn’t know it’s a boy.
“It’s a boy. We’re thinking of Conner.” Honestly, Conner was the only name we were considering, and I glanced over my shoulder. “I’m due in three weeks, so Ryan’s been rushing to get everything set up.”
“He’s really gunna be a dad…” Thomas sounded like it was the first time he realized Ryan’s predicament, and he chuckled nervously. Entering the kitchen, I grabbed the simmering pan off the stovetop to set it on a stand on the table, and he pulled out a chair for Sarah. “I remember- when we were 17, he said he wanted to be a father. It was right after we learned that he’d been picked to join the actor program thing, and he was freaking out.”
“You remembered!” Glancing up as Ryan pulled Thomas under his arm, I couldn’t help but giggle when my little brother blushed furiously. “You really do listen to me! You really do love me!”
“Get off me, idiot-“ They shoved at each other for a moment, and my smile widened when Thomas cleared his throat roughly. “I should’ve listened to the parts that- you know… counted…”
“Who cares about that, Tommy? This is a new day, my guy- you showed up. That’s all that matters.” Clapping him on the shoulder, Ryan grinned broadly, and he sent a small nod to Sarah before shuffled around me to sit down. “So, are you two dating, or are you just an impromptu therapist?”
“A little of both, I guess. We go on dates to talk about stuff. Like I said- we met at my job, and either way, you gotta pay somehow.” She shrugged a little half-heartedly, and Thomas sat down across from me with a tense set of his shoulders. “I like to think I’m better than a therapist, at least.”
“What do you talk about, if you don’t mind my asking?” My question earned me a long look, and the hairs on my face stood up. Reaching to grab a pair of tongs, I served everyone chicken and asparagus before seating myself again. Ryan rubbed my belly under the table, and the ting and scrape of metal against ceramic filled the kitchen.
“I’m not trying to drag the mood, but I grew up with an abusive step-dad. I’ve had abusive boyfriends and stuff. I don’t want to make you feel any type of way, Gwen- any abuse is still abuse. I just told Tommy about my experiences. I’ve been stabbed- shot at- assaulted- held hostage- and I like talking about it. When you say ‘I’ve been assaulted’, it’s really broad… people don’t believe you because there’s not really anything to see. So, I make a picture for them… a really detailed picture.” My heart sunk at how casually Sarah spoke, and she shot me an encouraging smile as a shiver lodged between my shoulder blades. “Tom is really sweet, but he’s super oblivious-“
“Thanks, I think.” Speaking up as he poised a fork in front of his face, Tommy smiled small, and I watched through narrowed eyes as he took a bite. His brows rose, an appreciative hum escaping his closed lips, and some of the tension eased from my shoulders. “This is good- really good, Gwen.”
“I know it’s your favorite.” Fire licked my cheeks when Tom paused, and I tore my gaze off him to stab a piece of asparagus. “Uh- so, how’s work been going?”
“It’s going great, actually… they’re really good to me. I got a bonus for beating the record for breaking into their internal servers externally- which I’m not supposed to be able to do, but- like, their security measures are shit. It’s not a mystery why they were hacked last year, for sure.” Smiling as Thomas sort of rambled, I propped my chin on the back of my hand and relished this moment. This scene seared into my brain, and he sat back with a shake of his head. “It’s so crazy. I don’t get how people get paid to make such garbage security or how no one else noticed.”
“Calm down, there, boy genius. If someone else noticed, you wouldn’t have a job, remember?” Humor laced Ryan’s tone, and I chewed my bite quietly as he shot his best friend a look. “So, what have you been doing this past month?”
“… I quit drinking.” Sarah nodded at my quizzical look, and Thomas twirled his fork absently to tear off a chunk of chicken. “On the daily, though- I started gaming. I’ve been using your system and stuff, Ryan- I hope you don’t mind.”
“Not a problem at all, my dude.” The conversation stalled, and I gnawed on my inner cheek as I cut my own piece of chicken. I couldn’t really taste it beyond the anxiety pooling under my tongue, and Sarah spoke up to break the silence.
“So, you said you give birth in three weeks, Gwen- was it planned?”
“Ah- no. It wasn’t. Ryan didn’t actually know until he got back four months later. But- everything has been great since. I got my restaurant and my bakery open pretty much on time, and that’s all been really smooth. It wasn’t nearly as stressful as last time.” Sarah smiled a little sadly, and I rolled my lips between my teeth to hide my frown.
“I loved it- being pregnant, I mean. Everything was brighter. My ex and I planned it, but he didn’t plan on my finding out about his side chick. He got mad that I was going to leave him over it, and, suddenly, I wasn’t pregnant anymore. I can’t have kids because of it. When you think about it, though, is it really a tragedy that I lost it, or would the tragedy have been being born into that? That was, like, five years ago, now, and after that, I decided to start stripping to help me feel beautiful.” Thoughtfulness pervaded her expression even as my heart stuttered, and she
sent Thomas a tender look. “I’m glad I stuck with it, though- I’ve met a lot of great people, and things have gotten so much better for me. And, honestly, it’s not like I get stigmatized or anything because the people that would judge me for it don’t actually go to strip clubs.”
“I know, right! I was at my restaurant the other day-“ My overly loud declaration rang in the gloom that hung just above my head, and I slapped my hand on the table. The air cleared, thankfully, and I frowned as Ryan groaned at the memory. “There was a church thing going on, reservations and everything that they couldn’t get a refund on. I was talking to the manager, and the organizer of the event asked if I worked there really snooty like. Before I could even open my mouth, she goes ‘well, just goes to show how worse your life is because you didn’t get married and have a husband to take care of you’.”
“No! She said that?” Nodding as Thomas gaped at me, I grinned broadly while Ryan smothered a laugh.
“Yeah- yeah, she started saying something about how young girls these days don’t have any morals. I just let her go on and on, and she got really deep- talkin’ about all this shit about when she was married, she trusted her husband to work so she could have a whole lot of kids. And then- her actual son, who is probably older than me, came up and asked what the problem was.”
“This is where I showed up, too.” Taking over for me, Ryan smirked as he gulped down his bite, and I stabbed my piece of chicken sharply. “I walk in and this guy is arguing with his mother that it’s not godly to judge people- everyone makes mistakes- like, he had good intentions, but just didn’t really come across well. Anyway- I stroll up to Gwen and the manager, and this old as dirt lady recognized me.”
“I asked what was going on, and she starts blubbering about how much she loves the soap opera I’m on- all this typical shit. There’s, like, this horde of old ladies shuffling over, abandoning their meals, and I’m like ‘okay, this is kinda weird’ so I ask Gwen what was going on. Gwen said, and I quote, ‘She’s shaming me for having your baby’-“ Ryan slumped back in his seat to cover his face as he burst out laughing, and I couldn’t contain my giggles. Remembering that old lady’s horrified expression was priceless, and Sarah laughed a little as Thomas sat, shocked silent. “She- she- she fucking had the fucking nerve to say ‘well, at least she made a good choice’…”
“That’s not even the best part. They paid in advance to cover everything, and whatever was left over was added to the tips. Only a few of them had their food before this started, and orders are streaming out- this is, like, a 30 person party- and, anyway- I tell them all that I’m the owner, and they all need to get out. Groans all around- no one had a chance to eat yet, but I told them that I didn’t need or want their business if they were going to trash talk people they don’t even know.” Sarah’s gasp echoed in my ears, and I nodded again as accomplishment spread through my chest. Was it underhanded to kick them all out? Yes.
Was it terrible to shame someone for the way he or she lives his or her life? Yes, also.
“This lady started arguing with Gwen- like, full on going at it about how they paid, they want refunds, they this, they that. And I’m standing there wondering who the fuck they think they are, and then- the coup de grace. Fucking Brandon walks out of the bakery. You haven’t met him, but this guy is fucking big, my dude- like, the both of us combined, big. He’s towering over everyone there, and he’s not happy. He just worked 7am-3pm, and the last thing he wants is to hear all these little, old ladies yapping.” Sweeping his arm out, hand flat, Ryan looked like he was having the time of his life, and my heart ached for him. For the first time, maybe, he and his best friend were meshed, enjoying each other and the fact that they were together.
At the very least, we weren’t complaining about anything serious, which was good.
“I’m serious, Tommy, man- I have never seen wrinkly bags like them scatter so fucking fast. They grabbed their shit and ran away, and I fucking died, my guy! Dead! Dropped on the floor and cried laughing-“
“They gave me a bad review, by the way. I took that into my own hands and uploaded the audio of the conversation in a comment.” The people around me dissolved into laughter, and, for the first time myself, maybe, I felt like I was surrounded by my family. Rubbing my bump absently, I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face if I’d tried, and I leaned back in my chair to enjoy the atmosphere.
Gwen
“Are you sure I don’t look fat?” Rolling my lips between my teeth, I frowned at my reflection as I caught Ryan’s gaze in the mirror. His deer-in-the-headlights look sent a twitch to my eyelid, and he cleared his throat roughly before shaking his head.
“The truth- Gwen, baby, you look pregnant. Not fat- not anything. Just really, 8 and a half months pregnant.” Tearing my eyes off him, I scanned the maternity dress that hung down to my ankles. It looked great, but just because I thought it looked great didn’t mean that it would on camera. “Baby, seriously- who talks shit about an insanely pregnant woman? No one- that’s who.”
“I should’ve worn the other one-“ Groaning as the other, high-waisted dress flashed in my mind’s eye, I shook my head furiously. “No- that one made me look like a whale. Ugh! I’m never coming to one of these things again, Ryan.”
“Okay- that’s fine. At least you tried, Gwen.” Coming up behind me, Ryan wrapped his arms around me to caress my belly. Kissing my neck, he buried his face there to breathe a hot breath over my shoulder. “You know, you don’t have to go out there. It’s just a promotional thing- it’s not, like, the Oscars or anything.”
“No- I want to go and support you.” The declaration flew from my lips, but I didn’t want to take it back regardless. Twisting to kiss his lips, I covered Ryan’s hands with my own, and our baby kicked me. “I want to, Ryan. I mean- it’s just that… a couple of news people isn’t the same as three dozen professional paparazzi…”
“It’ll be okay, baby. Really.” A soft knock on the door stole our attention, and I tensed as Ryan smiled against my skin. “If you want, just pretend we’re at a cooking convention, okay?”
“Oh- oh, that’s a good idea!” He smiled as I nodded, and a pleased smile stretched my lips. “That’s a really good idea. I’m kind of mad I didn’t think of it myself.”
“Okay, then. Let’s do this- you and me, baby.” Conner kicked my diaphragm up behind my heart, and I gasped from the slight stab of pain. Wrapping his arm around me, Ryan held my other hand in his, and he grunted. “Let’s do it fast before Conner decides he wants a royal entrance.”
“Yeah, okay.” Blowing out a hot breath, I shuffled towards the entry to the hotel room and thanked my decision to wear cushioned flats. My hair fell loose down my back and over my shoulders, and I stepped out into the hallway to straighten my back. All the while towards the ballroom of the hotel, Ryan kept a tight grip on me, and I leaned heavily against him on the elevator.
But, as tired as I was just from this short but anxiety-ridden walk, I needed to keep going. Ryan had been through everything with my restaurant, my bakery, my family, and I wanted to be there for his passions, too. This wasn’t a one-sided relationship, and I refused to allow it to be. He’d done so much for me, and the least I could do was get through a bunch of photos and some talk show.
“Here we go, baby.” Nodding firmly, I inhaled as deeply as I could and held it as we entered the ballroom. The floor looked like a miniature red carpet- like the Oscars or something- and nerves tingled my toes and fingertips. Almost immediately, cameras were pointed on me, and I tried to remember Ryan saying something about cooking.
“Ryan, what are you doing?” The feminine tone drew my gaze, and a tall, slender woman I didn’t recognize came storming up with a frown dragging down her painted lips. My heart leaped into my throat, but she couldn’t keep up the act, and her cheeks puffed when she giggled through her grin. Her appearance was stunning, and I exhaled harshly as she turned to me with sparkling, bright blue eyes. “It’s so wonderful to finally meet you. I c
an’t tell you how long it’s been bugging me that Ryan suddenly got so bad at kissing.”
“Sandra, please. Can we not talk about it? Like, ever?” Sandra waved Ryan’s plea off, and fire licked my cheeks as she just kept smiling at me- smiling and staring.
“Um- it’s wonderful to meet you, too. I’m Gwen.” Reaching out my free hand, I tried not to let my nerves show as Sandra’s incredibly soft palm touched mine. Her smile only grew wider, until there were crows feet by her eyes, and she leaned back to scan me fully.
“I’m Sandra- Ryan’s co-star. We play love interests on S&R. Does that bother you?” My eyes widened, brows shooting up at the direct question, and she locked gazes with me expectantly.
“U- uh- I never thought about it- I mean, I don’t watch a lot of television, so I… I don’t know, exactly.” Stuttering stupidly, I licked the roof of my mouth as Sandra nodded encouragingly. “I mean, I don’t really have a problem with it, I guess.”
“Oh, good. His last girlfriend was crazy jealous.” She laughed, and I couldn’t pinpoint what was making me so uncomfortable. “Anyway, I am glad that I got to meet you. It’s not every day that I meet someone that doesn’t know who I am, so that’s nice. I-“
“Can you stop talking for a second, please?” Cocking my head, I rolled my jaw and closed my eyes as I tried to figure out what had changed. The camera people went wildly, but it all became white noise in the background of my concentration. Big, familiar palms held my baby bump, and I tensed when I realized it. “He’s not moving- why isn’t he moving anymore? He j-“
“Oh-h- no.” Sandra’s ominous tone sent shivers down my spine, and goosebumps washed my skin. “I have six kids- when they stop moving, it means they’re g-“
Blood pounded in my ears as something dribbled down my legs, and I glanced down to find the fabric of my shoes darkening from the liquid. My eyes boggled, and my breath caught before gentle fingers tilted my head up. Sandra was perfectly calm whereas my knees wobbled, and my heart raced furiously.