So, angels are visiting us more often than we think. Whenever there is a need. When we ask for it. Even if we do not feel them. I wondered if I called him, if I asked for his presence, would he appear? However, this would be risky. We had finished for today. Harmlessly. Just for today.
I removed the towel from my head. My hair was almost dry. A yawning escaped from me. I felt exhausted. I lay on my bed with my eyes to the ceiling. I recalled the ceiling of Cappella Sistina and with this thought I fell asleep.
Nightfall
( sample of book 2)
The next morning the loud noise of the rain woke me up. It was extremely loud. What is going on? I thought and I ran to the window. The skies were wide open, pouring down all their excess water. I sat at the desk looking outside the furious downpour falling merciless on the trees’ foliage, washing everything away. Some drops were falling on the window creating small brooklets. I could almost see the cloud. Faded fibres of cloud were moving directly to earth. I felt joy. I like rain so much. Most probably, I am among the few humans in the world that love fog. I had the feeling it was a kind of cleansing, a washing of our sins. The thing I adored the most was the exact moment, when the last cloud was throwing its last drop, opening the sky into a clear light blue colour. Everything looked so bright.
For about half an hour, it was raining heavily and I was standing in the same position, looking outside and dreaming. My eyes fell on a little flower at the edge of the desk. A white lily left on the wood. I took it into my hands, not being able to understand how it got there. Maybe it was Christine’s.
I turned and looked at her. She had just woken up and was still stretching on the bed. She said good morning in French, with her eyes still closed. She got up slowly and came near me looking at the ceaseless rain.
“Tres bien!” she said ironically.
She turned to me, noticing the lily I was holding.
“Very beautiful. Where did you find it?”
This was strange. If it was not Christine’s, how did it get into the room?
“On the desk”, I replied looking at her confused.
“And how did it get to our desk?”
“I have no idea”.
“This is strange”, she said not paying any more attention and she went to the bathroom.
“Maybe Mrs Janet left it. The garden is full of flowers”, I shouted.
I smelled it. It was superb. However it came here, was not important. It was just superb.
I got up to get ready. I stood in front of the closet trying to decide what to wear. I was not doing that very often. I was usually snatching something from the top of the pile. This time, I took a pair of jeans and a black blouse. I wrapped a scarf around my neck and let my hair down. When Christine came out of the bathroom, I went in to comb my hair and put the lily in a glass with water. I put it on the desk, next to the window.
“See you soon, Christin”, I greeted her as I was opening the door.
She yawned once again.
“See you soon”.
The sky was clear and it had the exact light blue colour, the one after the rain, which I adored. A smile appeared on my face. I was feeling euphoria.
When I arrived at the classrooms’ building, it was full of people. I went to the first lecture. The classroom was almost full. I looked around for him. He was not there yet. I settled down on a seat at the back, as always, waiting for him. I knew it, I was sure he would come. After a while, I saw him standing at the entrance, dressed in black once again. A small god. He took a quick look around. As soon as he saw me he smiled and came towards me. He sat next to me, at a safe distance though.
“Good morning”, he said while kept smiling.
I responded to him.
“Good morning”.
“How are you?” he asked me with interest.
“Fine”.
My answer had a dose of truth, after the unexpected rain that the sky gave me. His eyes were brightened.
“So, did you enjoy the rain?” he wanted to know and he was impatient for my reply.
The combinations were quickly formed into my mind. Camen offered me a majestic storm as a gift.
“So, you gave me this storm! Did you know how much I like it?”
“But, didn’t you ask for it yesterday? “Would you give me a rain?” he repeated my words. “And from what I see, it was good for you. Today, you look even more beautiful. I like the black colour on you”, he said pointing at my blouse.
“You like black, in general”, I responded. “I have not seen you in another colour!”
He smiled and reminded me of a young child.
“The truth is that from the spectrum of the colours on earth, this is the quietest. And the safest, at least as long as you are near me”.
At that moment professor Scot came in, holding a laptop and a pile of books, making us stop our conversation, at least for the time being. The lights dimmed automatically, making me feel numb. Now, that I could not see him, I felt him nearer, threateningly close to me.
I bent to one side, trying to distinguish him in the darkness. His face was barely visible, under his gold-blond hair which looked like a halo. He looked like an angel more than ever...
The beam of light which came out of the screen made me turn forward. The fresco of Cappella Sistine-the scene of the expulsion from Paradise- was appearing before my eyes once again. Professor Scot described the scene and stopped at the woman-snake.
“Who is this woman?” he addressed to the audience. Absolute silence.
“Lucifer”, the silence was broken by a girl sitting in the front seats.
“As a woman?” Mr. Scot protested. “Anyone else? Any other idea?” he asked.
Even more silence.
“Next week I want your proposals which will be related to references from the Genesis’ chapters”, he demanded from all of us.
He went on showing other pictures and scripts, related to the creation, from contemporary artists.
Finally, when the lights were turned on, I saw him again as human smiling at me. He was extremely cheerful today. Like yesterday and the night before, never existed. I could not understand this change in his mood. Maybe it was Cindy…. I had a silly thought and rejected it immediately.
He got up and waited for me so we get out together. We spent the rest of day together, in an extremely joyful atmosphere, entirely unsuitable with our situation. Camen had a permanent smile stuck on his face.
When we finished our lunch at the dining hall and greeted our working group, I could not help but ask him.
“You look very happy today. Did something happen?”
“There is nothing more beautiful than giving joy to a human, with just a rain. I have influenced the weather many times but I have never felt like this morning, when I opened the sky for you, giving you something so simple; a rain. I could not imagine that a human can feel so happy for something so small and ordinary. I had the impression that they are always looking for or expect something extraordinary, something majestic, in order to be satisfied. And yet, you saw life more beautiful, with some drops of rain… You are a strange human being, Adriana. Outstanding”.
He looked at me fondly and I almost felt that he wanted to touch me. Something he did not do, clearly restrained now. Things were much better now, a lot easier. We were almost friends. I took courage by this thought.
“I forgot to thank you for the rain. I am sorry”.
“You are welcome”, he said and kept smiling.
We walked to my house silent. There was no need to say something, being together was enough; simply and calmly, without the intensity of our passion and desire. These were buried deep down inside us, at least for some time. He left me at the door.
“See you in the afternoon”, he said greeting me.
Christine was not in the room. I took off my boots and lay on the bed to think for a few moments, before start studying. His face, enlightened by his smile, made me smile too. He was so different, so much huma
n that morning. His happiness was that of a young child, who offers his mother a drawing with extra love and innocence. If I could do something in return, for this superb gift… But what can you offer to someone who has everything? Only yourself.
I think, at that moment, unexpectedly and smoothly, I decided to offer myself to him, breaking any promise, any decision, disregarding any punishment this act could cause. If someone, even an angel, is deprived of what he wants, because of your refusal, what is the meaning of his life? If someone is extremely happy because he gave you a rain and made you happy, how can you refuse to do the only thing, in his two worlds, that could make him happy? Whatever the price! He was right. This was his decision. Completely. It was not for me to decide. I had no right to make him miserable. I had no right to deprive him of my love. What would be the meaning of my self-denial, if Camen was hurt, was suffering, was crucified every day because of it?
Somehow, I studied concentrated more than any other time in my life. When I looked at my watch, it was already six o’clock. I got ready in a hurry and went down the stairs almost running. I was impatient to meet him, see him and talk to him.
As I was going out running on the sidewalk I fell onto Eric, who held me tightly in his arms in order not to fall down. I felt like laughing. I had fallen onto a fallen angel. I restrained myself, but my look was revealing all my joy, all my happiness. It was impossible for him not to notice it.
“Sorry, Eric”, I said laughing.
“What is so funny?”
He smiled too.
“I was in a hurry and I almost fell down. It is kind of funny”, I justified myself.
“Why are you rushing?” He looked at his watch. “It is only six o’clock…”
“If I want to have dinner and be on time at the library, I must hurry”.
And see him, definitely for that, I thought.
“I am also going there. Can I come with you?” he proposed.
“Yes, sure”, I accepted.
“You seem very cheerful, almost happy, I would say”.
So, it was obvious. My joy could not be hidden. He looked at me thoroughly.
“I am just in a good mood. How are you?” I stopped him from making more questions.
He remained thoughtful for a while. Would he be able to combine the facts he did not know of? But, if he knew?
“I am fine. How is Camen?” he insisted.
“You will see him in the dining hall. I think he is alright”, I said thinking about his changed attitude.
A little later we arrived at the dining hall. The rest of the group, were already there. Sam made a gesture to me and I went towards her. Eric followed me. All the ladies’ looks were on him, looking at him with admiration. Which woman would not notice this divine male that was gracefully moving among humans… I saw Camen changing his look the moment he saw him. He did not like me being with him. Eric greeted the whole group and Sam invited him to sit with us. He accepted. I was feeling uncomfortably with this situation, but I could not avoid it.
“So, how is the project going?” Eric asked addressing all of us. Then, he turned to Camen, who was standing almost stern.
Sam undertook to explain.
“We are totally confused. Nevertheless, we have drawn some conclusions. If we can combine them, I think we will discover something very important”, she said looking at Eric with a smile.
After a while, I was hearing nothing of what they were saying. I had all my attention turned to Camen. I was looking at him smiling, considering the thoughts I had had before, the broken promise and my new decision; to offer myself to him. His initially wild look, due to the presence of Eric, soon disappeared. It was replaced by wonder and surprise for my strange behaviour.
He was also looking at me smiling the whole time. There was a secret communication between us. Our eyes were glued to each other’s face. Had he understood? Had he guessed my secret thoughts? Had he sensed my alteration?
I felt tension. My impatience had reached at its peak. I was looking at him and I was thinking only one thing. I wanted-I was crazy from desire-the direct contact with him. My look became dark from desire. That was crazy! In the middle of the dining hall, among so many people, when the circumstances neither allow it nor cause it, I was thinking about Camen’s love. I was becoming dizzy, only by thinking about it. My alternations became visible. I could see it in his expression that was changing according to mine. It is tremendous, how two people can communicate without saying a word, only with their eyes and their body posture. The silence between us was saying more than a thousand words.
At some point, I noticed that Eric was stretching on his seat, slightly bending backwards, observing us. There was no need for him to be an angel in order to understand that something was going on between us. It was obvious even to the humans. I think I saw him smiling.
This was strange. If Eric was here for me, probably because I was looking like the woman he had fallen in love with, he could not like the situation between Camen and me. Yet, he seemed to enjoy it, he was having fun.
Camen passed me the salt, without me asking for it, without me wanting it. I stretched out my hand to take it, feeling also his need to touch me. It was barely noticeable and instant; a light, soft touch of our hands, like the first day. It was a move of two lovers who cannot stand the distance between them. I felt my fingers burning at the point where he touched me. Me expression became serious. My eyes stared at him. It was impossible to take them away, it was impossible to move, to talk, to do anything. His face reflected my agitation together with his. I was feeling the same, I sensed it!
“Good evening!”
Cindy’s sweet voice, once again, destroyed the magic. I reluctantly turned my head towards her, to see her touching Camen’s shoulders, in an ostentatious and possessive way. Jealousy conquered me once again. Camen turned towards her, while his eyes remained on me. He did not like this disruption. It was quite clear.
“Hi, Cindy”, he answered to her.
The rest of us greeted her. I saw her eyes shining when she saw Eric. She was looking at him with admiration, clearly impressed by his figure. He returned her greeting with a nod. Camen had also noticed the scene. He came quickly to introduce them.
“Cindy, this is my brother, Eric”, he said pointing at him.
Surprise was all over her face. Apparently, she was not aware of his existence either. After the formalities with the appropriate politeness, I heard her inviting him to her party.
“I would be very happy if you could come to the party I am having this Saturday. I am celebrating my birthday. Camen and I are good friends. I feel the same about his brother”. She purred like a cat; towards Eric this time. It was like a second nature to her.
She addressed the rest of us.
“There is no need to repeat the invitation. You all are invited”, she said showing more politeness this time.
After a while, she left walking lightly, with the grace of a ballet dancer, making a big impression.
Eric followed her. He explained that he had to study too, knowing that we were all going to the library.
When we went outside, I noticed that nothing was reminding me of the morning storm. I light breeze had dried the atmosphere, leaving only a few traces of moisture. The sky was all clear, allowing the stars to shine, lightning the dark blue of the night. Almost winter, I thought.
Camen was walking next to me without talking. He was glancing at me, being careful to be very discrete, always with the same smile. The breeze brought his scent, intense, exhilarating me again. My eyes closed for a moment when I inhaling his scent. I felt drunk.
Sam, who was next to me, nudged me.
“What are you dreaming about?” she asked me.
The unbelievable love of an angel!
“It smells like winter. Do you sense it?” I justified myself.
“Ha! Wait until you see what an English winter looks like! This is spring compared to it”, she teased me.
I saw, with th
e corner of my eye, Camen sniggering. He had realized very well what had happened to me. Absolutely!
We arrived at the library which was crowded. We found a small desk, where we barely squeezed ourselves. Out of necessity, I found myself stuck by his side. Although, I felt more than nice from touching his body, I knew that this would make it difficult for us to concentrate. Fortunately, he had found a way to control his shine. Otherwise, we would have a problem. I thought about his promise. When the others go, he would stay to help me search the scripts of Genesis. This might have been the right time to announce my intentions to him.
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