The Admirable Lady Biddy Fane

by Frank Barrett

  CHAPTER XLIV.

  IN WHICH MATTHEW PLAYS THE BEGGAR AND I THE FOOL.

  My comrade had no sooner made promise that we should be afloat in fourhours than he started about carrying out his design.

  There was in that swamp that bordered the river an amazing quantity ofgreat cane-reeds, some twenty feet in height and more, and of these hebegan to cut down with his sword such as were most proper to hispurpose, bidding me do the like, and choose those of last year's growth,which were dry, light, and of good girth. Nothing loath, I waded intothe morass (with a care that I trod on no water-serpent) until I waspretty well up to my middle in water, and there I laid about me with awill, until I had cut as many as I could carry, which I then took to apoint where the water was deep and free from this growth, and laid thembeside Matthew's store. In this way we proceeded until we had laid up agood stock of these canes.

  "Now," says Matthew, eyeing them, "I judge we have enough; so do you go,master, and cut me one of those plaguey vines that gave us so muchtrouble this morning, while I set these reeds shipshape."

  Perceiving his object, I went up into the wood and cut ten or a dozenfathoms of the lianes, which, as I say, are like any ship's tackle fortoughness and soundness. While I was about this, Matthew sets the canesout, with the thick end of one overlapping about three parts of itslength the thick end of another in such a manner that (all being servedand tightly bound with the liana at both ends, and again in two or threeplaces towards the middle) they made a huge bundle about a yard throughat its largest girth, and four yards long, tapering off at each end likea fishing-float. This being done, and the lianes bound securely toMatthew's mind, he begs me to lend him a hand at cutting away certain ofthe canes in the middle with my knife, which was tough work indeed (forthe canes were prodigious hard), and labor we might have sparedourselves had we bethought us to dispose the canes differently before webound them up; but this did not occur to us till we were pretty nigh theend of our job.

  However, having cut out of the middle a space about four feet long bytwo broad, and as much in depth, our business was done.

  This was the boat which was to carry us up the river, and Matthew wasnot a little proud of it; though I was still in a taking for fear itshould turn over when we set foot into it, and capsize us both into thewater; but this it did not, but carried us as steadily as we could wish,and capital good we found it for such a boat as it was.

  For our sweeps or paddles we bound two stout canes together, stretchingthem asunder at one end and covering that part with a broad tough grass.

  In this craft we made our way up that river three days and four nights,only stopping to take such rest as was needful and to procurerefreshment. Many difficulties and perils we encountered by the way, butof these I have no space to tell had I the inclination, for it seems asI write that I have the same burning impatience which urged me on thento come to my Lady Biddy. Every obstacle that delayed progress enragedme. I could scarcely bring myself to let my comrade get his fair andnecessary amount of sleep, but would be twitching him to awake ere hehad got soundly asleep; for as to one sleeping in the boat while theother rowed, that we found impossible, because there was no room to liedown there, and necessary it was, for fear of cramps, at times to takeour feet out of the water, which we had no means to keep from coming inbetwixt the reeds.

  But Matthew bore with me, seeing my great anxiety of mind, and that Idid not rest a quarter as much as he; and though he grumbled again (butchiefly in pretense), he roused himself after the second or thirdtwitch, and did all man could to give me hope. Indeed, a fellow ofgentler temper, a more cheerful, kind friend, I never knew of his sex.

  Soon after daybreak on the fourth day, having been at our sweeps acouple of hours maybe, we spied some fishing-canoes moored by the shore,and some little cot-houses hard by, by which we judged we had come tothe outskirts of Valetta. Whereupon we drew into the bank, and going upthrough the woods to the top of a little hill, came upon tilled fields,beyond which lay the town, very gray and quiet in the creeping light ofthat early morning.

  "Now, master," says Matthew, "the first thing is to learn if De Pino andhis train have yet arrived in the town; and we can't do that standinghere looking at it."

  "Nay," says I, "I'm ready to go into the town at once if you are. But wemust be secret."

  "Ay," says he; "and for that reason you will have to bide here."

  "I can not do that," says I. "Think, Matthew--she may stand in need ofmy help. I shall be mad if I stay here idle."

  "Not so mad," says he, "as if you venture into that town. Look at yourstate. Could any man clap eyes on you without pointing you out to hisneighbor?"

  Truly I was in a sad pickle--my fine clothes that I had of Dom Sebastianrent in a hundred places with the thorns through which we had torn ourway in escaping by the woods; no hat to my head; my silk stockingsstained with the blood from my scratched legs and the mud of the morass;and my hands and face swollen with the bite of those flies that hauntthe river.

  "You look," continues he, "as if you had broke loose from a prison, andlike nothing else; and if you be taken to task by the mayor, or otherbusybody, to account for your condition, your answer or your silencewill at once betray you for a foreigner. So will you be clapped up injail, and the female be worse off than ever."

  I was forced to admit that he was in the right, and to ask what hedesigned.

  "Why," says he, "I shall go into the town as a shipwrecked mariner, castashore off Buenaventure, fallen sick of a leprosy, and begging my way tomy friends at Cartagena, and no one shall count this a lie by thebravery of my dress."

  Indeed he looked beggarly enough, having not a rag of shirt to his back,nor any clothes but his shoes, breeches, and a jacket of skins, with anold hat that no one would have picked off a dust-heap.

  "In this guise," continues he, "may I go all through that town, askingalms in good Portuguese, so that men will be more glad to get out of myway than to stop me. And if, when I have been to all the inns and placesof rest, I find De Pino is not yet come, I will sit me down against achurch-door, the town gate, or elsewhere most convenient for spying whoenters by the road from Darien, and wait there till nightfall, when Iwill come again to you. And, lest I get no broken victuals, do you havea good supper ready by way of alms to give a hungry beggar."

  I promised him he should not lack for food.

  "Now, master," says he, "give me something as a token that I may slipinto the female's hand, when I go to beg of her, as she passes, wherebyshe may know that you are at hand."

  I was greatly pleased with his forethought, which showed a kindconsideration for Lady Biddy's happiness, and delighted to think I mightthus communicate with her. So, undoing my waistcoat, I cut a fair piecefrom the breast of my shirt, which was of fine linen, and having piercedmy finger with a thorn I contrived to trace "B. P." on this rag with myblood.

  Meanwhile Matthew had gone about to find some purple berries which hecrushed in divers places upon the flesh of his legs and face, so thatwhen he came forth I scarcely knew him again, as he looked for all theworld, by reason of this disfigurement, like one who was sore of aplague.

  "I wager," says he, "no one will want to lay hands on me now; and as forDe Pino, he will turn away in disgust at the first glance, for thesePortugals pretend to have mighty nice stomachs. Howsomever, I must givemyself another touch or two to deceive his eye."

  Therewith he takes his knife and saws away at his bushy beard until hehad brought it down to a point, after the Portugals' mode. Then hebegged me to crop the hair of his head, which I did forthwith; and tosee me a-trimming his head with my sword was a sight to set any barber'steeth on edge. This done, he give me his sword to take charge of, andhides his knife inside his jacket, with my token for Lady Biddy. Thenfolding his arms on his chest, drawing up his shoulders to his ears, andputting on a most woe-begone look, he asks me if I think he will passmuster.

  "Ay," says I, "you are horrid enough, in all conscience; but with thoseloathsome-seem
ing sores upon you I doubt if my cousin will care to takemy token from your hand."

  "Lord love you, master," says he with a laugh, "if you knew as much offemales as I do you would have no doubt on that head. There's nodisguise will deceive their eyes when they have a man in their thoughts;and," adds he in a graver tone, "there's no form of distress will makethem shrink from a tender office."

  He gave me his hand, bidding me farewell, and went his way with ashuffling gait and a sly leer back at me to show me he understood hisbusiness.

  I watched him until he entered the fields, where the tall plantspresently hid him from my sight. Then I bethought me to set adrift ourboat, which might have excited curiosity and suspicion had it been seenby any one passing on the river; and this I did, after cutting thelianes that bound it, so that it might go to pieces as it went down withthe current. After that, with a sling I managed to kill half a dozenbirds, about the size of pigeons, and these I cooked in the midst of thewood, where the smoke from my fire might not be seen. Also I gatheredsome good fruit, and of this food I set by enough to serve for a mealwhen Matthew returned. Then I sat me down at that point whence mycomrade had departed, watching for his return through the fields.

  Hour after hour I sat there, turning my eyes neither to the right nor tothe left, for my eagerness to see him again, and my thoughts all thewhile running on my dear lady; but no reflections worthy to be recorded.The sun sank and the twilight faded away; but the stars were bright inthe sky before I heard any sign of Matthew; then I caught a snuffling,whining voice, which I knew to be his, crying:

  "Is there 'ere a kind friend will give a bit to a poor sick seafaringman?" at the same time I perceived a figure coming towards me.

  "What news, Matthew--what news?" I cried, running to meet him.

  "Plenty," says he; "I've done a rare day's business."

  "Lord be praised!" says I; "what have you learnt?"

  "That a canting rogue may earn more in a day than an honest man in aweek."

  "What else, what else?" says I impatiently.

  "That for winning true respect there's naught like sham sores."

  "For the love of Heaven do not torment me! What of my cousin?"

  "Oh, she has not yet come into the town," says he; "nor will sheto-night for certain; the gates were being shut when I crawled out. Itold you, master, we should get here a day before De Pino."

  On this I heaved a great sigh for disappointment.

  "Lord love you, master," says he, "don't heave a sigh like that aforeyou're married, or you'll have none left for a better occasion."

  This pleasantry made me sadder that before, for it put me in mind that,come what might, Lady Biddy could never be mine, nor I anything to herbut as a poor faithful servant.

  "Cheer up, master," says Matthew. "You may wager that if I haven'tbrought you one sort of comfort, I've brought you another. Feel theweight of this."

  I then perceived, for the first time, that Matthew had a load on hisback.

  "What in the world have you got there, friend?" says I, feeling thegreat distended skin bag he carried.

  "Wine, master--wine of the best, and a couple of gallons of it."

  "How did you come by it?"

  "Honestly. I paid for it with good silver, and I've enough left againsttimes of need. For, you see, while wholesome beggars were taken into thekitchen for a paltry mess of broken victuals, I no sooner showed my facein a doorway but a silver piece was tossed into the road to get rid ofme. Bless every one with a nice stomach, say I; they give me the wholestreet to myself when they catch sight of me, and go a roundabout way totheir goal. You wonder why I wasn't turned out of the town. Lord loveyou, there was not a constable had the heart to lay his hand on me. Asort of a kind of a beadle came and looked at me from a distance, and Iwas half afeared he meditated getting me shot with a long gun; but whenI sat me down peaceably in the church-door, he saw I could do no one anymischief there, and so went away to trounce some silly folks who weretrying to turn a penny or two with a dancing dog."

  In this manner did he run on, telling me of his adventures during theday, until all our birds were eaten and the wine-skin half empty, whenhe laid himself down, chuckling over the prospect of a long night'ssleep, and warning me not to arouse him too soon, as he had been forcedto wait an hour at the gates.

  "And," says he, "if I show myself an early riser, they may well doubt ifI be a true beggar."